XPost: rec.autos.sport.f1, rec.autos.sport.nascar, rec.autos.sport.indycar
a handy reminder of semi-clean things to say when you feel like cussing.
Lots of people could have used these recently.
Sergio Perez, Carlos Sainz, Lando after Qual, Christian Horner,
Alan Baker, Denny Hamlin, Ryan Blaney, Brad Keselowski,
Will Power, etc.
excerpted from
https://babylonbee.com/news/10-breakfast-cereals-that-sound-like-mormons-swearing-after-stepping-on-a-lego
10 Breakfast Cereals That Sound Like Mormons Swearing After Stepping On
A Lego
Life
·
Sep 13, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
Everyone knows a few stereotypical things about Mormons — no caffeine,
no alcohol, etc. What many people don't know about Mormons, however, is
that though they may seem pretty understated, Mormons, in reality, have
some of the filthiest mouths out there. But, being good Mormons, what do
they say in moments of anger and pain?
The Babylon Bee scattered a bucket of Lego bricks over the floor of a
Mormon family's home to find out exactly what expletives they use, only
to discover that they are remarkably close to the following popular
breakfast cereals:
"Crispy Critters!": Simple, but effective.
"Honey Bunches of Oats!": Every Mormon knows to only utter this type of profanity when no one else is around.
"Grape Nuts!": Be careful using this language around your grandmother.
"Meuslix!": That's just nasty speech.
"Cinnamon Toast Crunch!": You might be in pain, but there's no need for
that kind of talk.
"Cracklin' Oat Bran!": Where on earth did you learn that word?
"Apple Jacks!": This would get bleeped on television, of course.
"Sprinkle Spangles!": Sounds like someone's about to get their mouth
washed out with soap.
"Crunch Berries!": You should be ashamed of yourself.
"Wheaties Dunk-A-Balls!": This type of obscenity should only be reserved
for stepping on the sharpest of Lego bricks...
Startling, raw expressions. The Babylon Bee apologizes for the crude
nature of this article but felt it was important to prepare the populace
at large for the colorful language they might hear when in the presence
of angry, injured Mormons.
BIG NEWS: We made a movie, and you can watch the trailer NOW:
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