As you’ve probably heard by now, Donald Trump is in a whole bunch of legal trouble. While said trouble includes numerous criminal investigations and civil lawsuits, probably the most pressing issue at the moment involves his decision to take classified
documents from the U.S. government, which resulted in the FBI raiding Mar-a-Lago last week, a search they got permission to perform by convincing a federal judge they had probable cause to believe the ex-president had violated the Espionage Act, among
other things. Since all of this could conceivably culminate in Trump going to prison, he obviously needs legal representation. But unfortunately for the former guy, no respectable lawyer wants to touch him with a 1,000-foot pole. No, really: It’s like
he has monkeypox, early-era COVID, and the plague all in one.

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