FAMOUS LAST WORDS

"I know good mushrooms when I see them!"

"Don't worry, the ones that bark a lot don't bite."

"Bungee jumping is perfectly safe. Here, I'll show you."

"What do you mean 'Godzilla's at the door'?"

"Of course it's safe!"

"Is this gun loaded?"

"Hah, this curve is easy to drive through."

"What does 'Reactor-Overload imminent' mean?"

"How deep is this chasm?"

"There is no quicksand here."

"Yeah, that's right. I use a steel-cable to bungee-jump."

"Don't worry, you missed that plane by a mile."

"Why is this Toxic waste barrel bulging so much?"

"I fixed the brakes on this baby myself."

"Don't worry, I took gun safety"

"What's this button?"

"So, do you think the gorilla is sleeping or dead?"

"You dare me?"

"I think there's a world market for about 5 computers."
Thomas J. Watson, Chairman of the Board, IBM (around 1948)

"The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives."
Admiral William Leahy, US Atomic Bomb Project

"This fellow Charles Lindburg will never make it. He's doomed."
Harry Guggenheim, millionaire aviation enthusiast

"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."
Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University,
(five days before the Crash of 1929)

"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value."

"God himself could not sink this ship."
Anonymous Titanic Deck Hand

"Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific
advances."

"Everything that can be invented has been invented."
Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, US Patent Office, 1899.

"Ha! They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."

'And for the tourist who really wants to get away
from it all - safaris in Vietnam' - Newsweek predicting
popular holidays for the late 1960's

'ALL THE PASSENGERS ARE SAFE' - Lancashire Evening Post
headline on their report of the Titanic sinking.

'Television won't last. Its a flash in the pan' - Mary
Somerville, pioneer of radio educational broadcasts, 1948.

'The Beatles? They're on the wane' - the Duke of Edinburgh
in Canada 1965. They went on to produce five albums and
eleven singles, most of which got to number One.

'Radio has no future' - Lord Kelvin, President of the Royal Society,
1890-5.

'Heavier than air flying machines are impossible' - Lord Kelvin.
President of the Royal Society,1890-5.

'X-Rays will prove to be a hoax'-Lord Kelvin, President of the Royal
Society, 1890-5.

"About this 'Liberty or Death' business, Mr. Henry. Isn't there some
reasonable position in between?"
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

FAMOUS LAST WORDS

"I know good mushrooms when I see them!"

"Don't worry, the ones that bark a lot don't bite."

"Bungee jumping is perfectly safe. Here, I'll show you."

"What do you mean 'Godzilla's at the door'?"

"Of course it's safe!"

"Is this gun loaded?"

"Hah, this curve is easy to drive through."

"What does 'Reactor-Overload imminent' mean?"

"How deep is this chasm?"

"There is no quicksand here."

"Yeah, that's right. I use a steel-cable to bungee-jump."

"Don't worry, you missed that plane by a mile."

"Why is this Toxic waste barrel bulging so much?"

"I fixed the brakes on this baby myself."

"Don't worry, I took gun safety"

"What's this button?"

"So, do you think the gorilla is sleeping or dead?"

"You dare me?"

"I think there's a world market for about 5 computers."
Thomas J. Watson, Chairman of the Board, IBM (around 1948)

"The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives."
Admiral William Leahy, US Atomic Bomb Project

"This fellow Charles Lindburg will never make it. He's doomed."
Harry Guggenheim, millionaire aviation enthusiast

"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."
Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University,
(five days before the Crash of 1929)

"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value."

"God himself could not sink this ship."
Anonymous Titanic Deck Hand

"Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific
advances."

"Everything that can be invented has been invented."
Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, US Patent Office, 1899.

"Ha! They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."

'And for the tourist who really wants to get away
from it all - safaris in Vietnam' - Newsweek predicting
popular holidays for the late 1960's

'ALL THE PASSENGERS ARE SAFE' - Lancashire Evening Post
headline on their report of the Titanic sinking.

'Television won't last. Its a flash in the pan' - Mary
Somerville, pioneer of radio educational broadcasts, 1948.

'The Beatles? They're on the wane' - the Duke of Edinburgh
in Canada 1965. They went on to produce five albums and
eleven singles, most of which got to number One.

'Radio has no future' - Lord Kelvin, President of the Royal Society,
1890-5.

'Heavier than air flying machines are impossible' - Lord Kelvin.
President of the Royal Society,1890-5.

'X-Rays will prove to be a hoax'-Lord Kelvin, President of the Royal
Society, 1890-5.

"About this 'Liberty or Death' business, Mr. Henry. Isn't there some
reasonable position in between?"
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

FAMOUS LAST WORDS

"I know good mushrooms when I see them!"

"Don't worry, the ones that bark a lot don't bite."

Billy: Is your dog friendly?
Bob: yup
Billy: *pets dog*
Dog: bites & shreds his hand
Billy: I thought you said your dog don't bite!
Bob: I did; t'ain't my dog there.

"Bungee jumping is perfectly safe. Here, I'll show you."

Q: How often do you replace the bungee ropes?
A: Every time they break, Ma'am.

"Hah, this curve is easy to drive through."

You accelerate into a curve, right?

"Don't worry, I took gun safety"

Then why are looking down the barrel after you cleaned it & put it back together? I gotta run -- I'm too dark-skinned to be near here when you off yourself.

"What's this button?"

Button: "Press here"
*presses*
computer: "to activate, release to detonate."

"You dare me?"

Me, as a wee lad, being dared to do stupid things:
Yeah? I double dog dare YOU, no-backsies.
Dares go first
Show me what you mean, I don't get it.
*they do*

Me: walks away murmuring "dumbass"

"I think there's a world market for about 5 computers."
Thomas J. Watson, Chairman of the Board, IBM (around 1948)

My fave no clue quotation; apparently it dod't quite go like that; he was referring only to IBM Super Mainframes (gymnasium sized monstrosities)

A lady friend on a local BBS told e how she was tyold, in grade 5 that eventually everone will have a computer in their home (teacher obviously
means as sizes shrink); my friend's immedate thought was, "As if everyone's going to build a gym-sized room just for a machine that can print 'Hello, World!'"

The perspective you & I have, eh? I can recall marveling at JPGs that MOVED (GIFs) then hi-res self drawing art. . . & moving desktop icons with sound! (mini Videos, really)

I started at 2400 baud, now I have 50+ mbps!

DOS 4,01 to Windows 10.0. . . what a expletive-decorated journey that has
been!

I remember DOS 6 & the end of the help files being all loaded in to RAM as a TSR! & the original disk doubler that Microsoft stole for DOS 6.2 & was
forced by a judge to remove and issue DOS 6.22 (when M$ & their million
dollar lawyers lose a case, you KNOW the theft was bad)

Fast forward to anti-monopoly trial against Microsoft bundling Office & Windows.

We supposed Gates walked out of that courtroom, after being ordered to split Office & their OS(Windoze) into separate companies, asked out loud, "So, this means I now own TWO monopolies?"

Watching changes in R&D & knowing what fueled them. . .

faster processors & more powerful video cards = video gamers
bigger hard drives, faster internet, & bigger/brighter monitors = porn fans

Now all the development is on phones, & nobody uses a desktop any more except me, that I know of. . .

Most don't even use a tablet -- all phone (mini microtablets); I laugh as
they fumble & make mistakes because they can't "Drop to DOS & do it right"

DOS IST GUT!! (not a joke)

"The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives."
Admiral William Leahy, US Atomic Bomb Project

"This fellow Charles Lindburg will never make it. He's doomed."
Harry Guggenheim, millionaire aviation enthusiast

"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."
Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University,
(five days before the Crash of 1929)

"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value."

"God himself could not sink this ship."
Anonymous Titanic Deck Hand

"Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific advances."

"Everything that can be invented has been invented."
Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, US Patent Office, 1899.

"Ha! They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."

'And for the tourist who really wants to get away
from it all - safaris in Vietnam' - Newsweek predicting
popular holidays for the late 1960's

'ALL THE PASSENGERS ARE SAFE' - Lancashire Evening Post
headline on their report of the Titanic sinking.

'Television won't last. Its a flash in the pan' - Mary
Somerville, pioneer of radio educational broadcasts, 1948.

'The Beatles? They're on the wane' - the Duke of Edinburgh
in Canada 1965. They went on to produce five albums and
eleven singles, most of which got to number One.

'Radio has no future' - Lord Kelvin, President of the Royal Society,
1890-5.

'Heavier than air flying machines are impossible' - Lord Kelvin.
President of the Royal Society,1890-5.

'X-Rays will prove to be a hoax'-Lord Kelvin, President of the Royal Society, 1890-5.

"About this 'Liberty or Death' business, Mr. Henry. Isn't there some reasonable position in between?"
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Billy: Is your dog friendly?
Bob: yup
Billy: *pets dog*
Dog: bites & shreds his hand
Billy: I thought you said your dog don't bite!
Bob: I did; t'ain't my dog there.

He did tell the truth.

"Bungee jumping is perfectly safe. Here, I'll show you."

Q: How often do you replace the bungee ropes?
A: Every time they break, Ma'am.

Fair enough.

"Hah, this curve is easy to drive through."

You accelerate into a curve, right?

Only if you have a death wish.

"Don't worry, I took gun safety"

Then why are looking down the barrel after you cleaned it & put it back together?

Or the one where the police officer is standing, but the barrel of his shotgun is propped up against his butt. The meme notes "Why Women Live
Longer". :P

"What's this button?"

Button: "Press here"
*presses*
computer: "to activate, release to detonate."

Your call is important to us...but right next to it, is a red light
flashing button, with the word DISCONNECT or ERASE.

DOS 4,01 to Windows 10.0. . . what a expletive-decorated journey that
has been!

I started with 3.2, then went to 5.0, 6.0, 6.2, and 6.22 -- and I even
ran DESQView. Then Windows 95, 98, XP, 7, and now 10.

I remember DOS 6 & the end of the help files being all loaded in to RAM
as a TSR! & the original disk doubler that Microsoft stole for DOS 6.2
& was forced by a judge to remove and issue DOS 6.22 (when M$ & their million dollar lawyers lose a case, you KNOW the theft was bad)

Sounds like what they did with DoubleSpace and DriveSpace, which was originally done by Stacker.

Fast forward to anti-monopoly trial against Microsoft bundling Office & Windows.

We supposed Gates walked out of that courtroom, after being ordered to split Office & their OS(Windoze) into separate companies, asked out
loud, "So, this means I now own TWO monopolies?"

Really. He has his hands in more cookie jars than Microsoft.

faster processors & more powerful video cards = video gamers
bigger hard drives, faster internet, & bigger/brighter monitors = porn fans

Sounds like the song Tom T. Hall did -- faster horses, younger women,
older whiskey, and more money".

Now all the development is on phones, & nobody uses a desktop any more except me, that I know of. . .

That's what the BBS is on at the moment (my late Mom's computer), but I'm working on moving the BBS into the cloud by late next week. But 3 days of thunderstorms will put the kabosh (sp?) on that. Once it's in the cloud and
set up though, I won't have to take it down for thunderstorms anymore.

"The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives."
Admiral William Leahy, US Atomic Bomb Project

Blew that one up.

"This fellow Charles Lindburg will never make it. He's doomed."
Harry Guggenheim, millionaire aviation enthusiast

To success.

"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."
Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University,
(five days before the Crash of 1929)

Talk about egg on the face!!

"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value."

Depends on who's flying them.

"God himself could not sink this ship."
Anonymous Titanic Deck Hand

To which, a voice from above says "Is That Your Final Answer??" <G>

"Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific advances."

I guess he thought the only moon was their own butt cheeks.

"Everything that can be invented has been invented."
Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, US Patent Office, 1899.

Reminds me of the song Jerry Reed did..."Lord, Mister Ford". What
Henry Ford would do with what his "contribution to man" has become.

"Ha! They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."

Tusk!! Tusk!! Tusk!!

'And for the tourist who really wants to get away
from it all - safaris in Vietnam' - Newsweek predicting
popular holidays for the late 1960's

Battling for travel destinations.

'ALL THE PASSENGERS ARE SAFE' - Lancashire Evening Post
headline on their report of the Titanic sinking.

Do I detect a failure to communicate here??

'Television won't last. Its a flash in the pan' - Mary
Somerville, pioneer of radio educational broadcasts, 1948.

They probably thought the same of phonograph records.

'The Beatles? They're on the wane' - the Duke of Edinburgh
in Canada 1965. They went on to produce five albums and
eleven singles, most of which got to number One.

There was a 45 RPM record I had a long time ago, which was
a compilation of their most popular songs in a skit.

'Radio has no future' - Lord Kelvin, President of the Royal Society,
1890-5.

That was before amateur radio came along...my, how things have
changed with that hobby!!

'Heavier than air flying machines are impossible' - Lord Kelvin.
President of the Royal Society,1890-5.

<BUZZER!>

'X-Rays will prove to be a hoax'-Lord Kelvin, President of the Royal Society, 1890-5.

Only when the light on the device doesn't work to take a good picture.

"About this 'Liberty or Death' business, Mr. Henry. Isn't there some reasonable position in between?"

Really.

Daryl

... When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

You accelerate into a curve, right?

Only if you have a death wish.

&/or you're a city bus driver going about 10-15MPH over the speed limit with
sa bus filled with standees!
I & my wheelchair weight 700lbs and are strapped down by 3 belts (L&R on the chair & a lap belt for me) & I'm holding on to an overhead(luckily I have
long arms, & can reach while seated) strap for dear life, to keep from
tipping! Thankfully they replaced that maniacal bus route with a lightrail option (25 minutes downtown here to downtown Vamncopuiver, vs 90-100 before)

> Or the one where the police officer is standing, but the barrel of his

shotgun is propped up against his butt. The meme notes "Why Women Live Longer". :P

I had a group of about 10 of that category! Funny stuff, but only because theyere all true!

DOS 4,01 to Windows 10.0. . . what a expletive-decorated journey that has been!

I started with 3.2, then went to 5.0, 6.0, 6.2, and 6.22 -- and I even
ran DESQView. Then Windows 95, 98, XP, 7, and now 10.

Me, too, except I had 98SP & then, *grooooan* the dreaded evil Vista (I knew
I was going to invent new swear words when first session I ran it, & finished with the new, built for Vista, MSIE, I closed it, with the 'x' & a popup said "Internet explorer has closed... restarting" &, in that same session found
out that most of the included utilities weren't compatible with Vista!

Was so happy to have found an old XP machine & gone back to the last stable Windows ever (I still call it that)

I still miss DOS, but too busy &/or lazy to set up my old IBM MCA 486 PS/2, comes with SCSI drivce so I'm not stuck paying $3,000+ for a 2Gb hard disk.

the original disk doubler that Microsoft stole for DOS 6.2

& was forced by a judge to remove and issue DOS 6.22 (when M$ & their million dollar lawyers lose a case, you KNOW the theft was bad)

Sounds like what they did with DoubleSpace and DriveSpace, which was originally done by Stacker.

Exactly the incident I'm referring to, yup. . .

I now have the original Stac installed on the 486, doubling my 400Mb(C:) & my 80Mb(D:). (and data has multipled to fill all available space, of course!)

We supposed Gates walked out of that courtroom, after being ordered

to

split Office & their OS(Windoze) into separate companies, asked out loud, "So, this means I now own TWO monopolies?"

Really. He has his hands in more cookie jars than Microsoft.

He IS Microsoft!

> Sounds like the song Tom T. Hall did -- faster horses, younger women,

older whiskey, and more money".

I'll take all 4, but you can keep the horses, unless they're makingme good money at the races & someone else handles the business sde of that
enterprise. . .

> That's what the BBS is on at the moment (my late Mom's computer), but
I'm

working on moving the BBS into the cloud by late next week. But 3 days of thunderstorms will put the kabosh (sp?) on that. Once it's in the cloud

and

set up though, I won't have to take it down for thunderstorms anymore.

What if there's a storm wherever the cloud is hosted? (you HOPE they have lightnig rods & surge proectors everywhere, but don't assume they do); my company's IT dude assumed Amazon Cloud would have regular backups, but when Amazion lost part of our data, they lost it ALL! (whole company had been
moved there, since we're 100% virtual now)

We rebuilt what we culd from our own, slightly behid, backups. Thankfully I was paranoid & had a separate backup(unencrypted) of our key database that
our IT guy could reconstruct & reinitialise.

Else our company could've died right then.

> > "This fellow Charles Lindburg will never make it. He's doomed."

Harry Guggenheim, millionaire aviation enthusiast

To success.

Funny thing, Lindbergh did nothing impressive; he was not the first to cross the Atlantic solo, not by about 400 others, & he waasn;'t even the first American to do so, but the media loved him since his kid was kidnapped, so a myth was born!

Ditto Edison -- not an inventor of any note -- the incandescent lightbulb
with tungsten filament had been in use for 100+ years prior to his claiming
to have invented it!

He msade a ig deal about his Menlo Park labs & the media ate it/him up; basically he had people doing everything for him then he put his own name on the parent as primary inventor. He was a conman!

Now Nikola Tesla - THERE was an American genius & inventor, but they dumped
him because he dared to discover/create a way to get electricity for free!

Killed him, killed his lab, killed his notes. . . :'( (oh the wonders we might've had)

"God himself could not sink this ship."
Anonymous Titanic Deck Hand

To which, a voice from above says "Is That Your Final Answer??" <G>

Makes e think of John Lenon saying "We're[Beatles] bigger than God" then soon after being shot down. . .

& Nebuchadnezzar saying he was like a God to this people -- a week later, his entrails are being lapped up by a pack of wiold dogs in front of everyone!

Arrogance, vis-a-vis God, is not a healthy way to go. .

> > 'Television won't last. Its a flash in the pan' - Mary

Somerville, pioneer of radio educational broadcasts, 1948.

"Video killed the radio star" --big "booya" hit on early MTV

> There was a 45 RPM record I had a long time ago, which was

a compilation of their most popular songs in a skit.

Hmm, can you recall the name of it or the producer?

> > 'Heavier than air flying machines are impossible' - Lord Kelvin.

President of the Royal Society,1890-5.

<BUZZER!>

Physicusts have PROVEN (with math) that a bumblebee cannot fly (hey, nobody said they had to fly ELEGANTLY!)

Also European scientists proved (using numbers) that a passenger train could never go faster than 30MPH, as all the air would be sucked out & everyone
would asphyxiate! (true stories, both)

> ... When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

We avenged ourselves by hunting them into near extinction for their oh-so- delicious wings. . .

Ordering KFC, and I ask for a chicken wing. Cashier asks, “ok sir, and which side?”
I replied I had never thought about it before, but I suppose I’ll take the right side.

Cashier: “sir, I meant mashed potatoes, corn, or beans.”
-=-
I heard that scientist are trying to genetically engineer a pig to have
wings.
It seems far fetched to me. I'll believe it when pigs fly
[my response: if pigs could fly, seagulls wouldn't be our biggest parked car problem any more!]
-=-
Q: What has 2 legs but cannot walk, two wings but cannot fly, 2 eyes but
cannot see?
A: A dead chicken.
-=-
I was in a KFC in Prague, standing in line waiting to order my lunch when I noticed the beautiful girl wearing a black and white tiled apron who was
giving the man in front of me a bucket of Buffalo wings..and then it dawned
on me.
I was checking out a chequered Czech check-out chick who was checking out
some chicken at the checkout.

-=-
Q: Do you like ribs or wings?
A: I like them both i am bisnacksual

-=-
Scientifically a raven has 17 primary wing feathers.
The big ones at the end of the wing. These feathers are called pinion
feathers. A crow has sixteen.

So, the difference between a crow and a raven is only a matter of a pinion.

-=-
Brought my friend some chicken, told him I had 1 leg, 3 breasts and a wing.
He asked “So how do you find clothes that fit?”.

-=-
Here's a fact for you: on average we all have 1 breast & 1 testicle!

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

&/or you're a city bus driver going about 10-15MPH over the speed limit with sa bus filled with standees!

Or like Christian Comedian Mark Lowery noted when he had to be ambulatory
to a hospital after a motorcycle wreck. "Ambulances have no shock absorbers. When they run over a coin, you can tell whether it's heads or tails". <G>
He also noted "Your Momma Was Right"...and the entire room roared in laughter..."Clean Underwear...Always!!" <G>.

that same session found out that most of the included utilities weren't compatible with Vista!

There was a meme with various cottages and houses for operating systems
with Windows, starting with 95 through 7 (I think). For Vista, the house
was upside down. <G>

Sounds like what they did with DoubleSpace and DriveSpace, which was originally done by Stacker.

Exactly the incident I'm referring to, yup. . .

It's like how animals feel about another animals food...it tastes better
if it's stolen. <G>

Really. He has his hands in more cookie jars than Microsoft.

He IS Microsoft!

And soon to be divorced. :P

> Sounds like the song Tom T. Hall did -- faster horses, younger women,

older whiskey, and more money".

I'll take all 4, but you can keep the horses, unless they're makingme
good money at the races & someone else handles the business sde of that enterprise. . .

Only if you want to be horsing around. <G>

What if there's a storm wherever the cloud is hosted? (you HOPE they
have lightnig rods & surge proectors everywhere, but don't assume they do); my company's IT dude assumed Amazon Cloud would have regular
backups, but when Amazion lost part of our data, they lost it ALL!
(whole company had been moved there, since we're 100% virtual now)

With what I'll pay, I'm sure they have plenty of protection, backups,
etc. However, I've injured the cornea in my right eye (abrasion), and I
had to greatly reduce my computer time, and the brightness on all of the monitors.


> There was a 45 RPM record I had a long time ago, which was

a compilation of their most popular songs in a skit.

Hmm, can you recall the name of it or the producer?

Offhand, no. I have no idea where the collection of 45's I had, are.
I've got a large amount of books by the late Clive Cussler, and a large
amount of vinyl LP's that I have no use for. But, I'm afraid to put out something on Facebook, for fear someone will show up, shoot me, then
ransack the place. I'd give it all away for free...folks pick it up,
and haul it off themselves...no charge.

Physicusts have PROVEN (with math) that a bumblebee cannot fly (hey, nobody said they had to fly ELEGANTLY!)

I love the Flight Of The Bumblee by Nicolai (sp?) Rimsky-Korsakov, and
the "Bumble Boogie", where it was incorporated into a Boogie Woogie for
piano. The late Liberace, and now Emily Bear, can really zoom through it.
And, Emily was always smiling.

We avenged ourselves by hunting them into near extinction for their
oh-so- delicious wings. . .

I've heard there's a shortage of chicken wings right now/

It seems far fetched to me. I'll believe it when pigs fly
[my response: if pigs could fly, seagulls wouldn't be our biggest
parked car problem any more!]

The birds have been bombing my car lately.

I was checking out a chequered Czech check-out chick who was checking
out some chicken at the checkout.

Say that several times fast.

-=-
Q: Do you like ribs or wings?
A: I like them both i am bisnacksual

Works for me...good tagline, too. :)

-=-
Scientifically a raven has 17 primary wing feathers.
The big ones at the end of the wing. These feathers are called pinion feathers. A crow has sixteen.

So, the difference between a crow and a raven is only a matter of a pinion.

Touche'.

-=-
Brought my friend some chicken, told him I had 1 leg, 3 breasts and a wing. He asked “So how do you find clothes that fit?”.

Really.

-=-
Here's a fact for you: on average we all have 1 breast & 1 testicle!

To be sure that the Tickle Me Elmo dolls will laugh, they give them two
test tickles. <G>

Daryl

... To err is human, to howl about it, lupine.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

Or like Christian Comedian Mark Lowery noted when he had to be

ambulatory

to a hospital after a motorcycle wreck. "Ambulances have no shock

absorbers.

When they run over a coin, you can tell whether it's heads or tails". <G>
He also noted "Your Momma Was Right"...and the entire room roared in laughter..."Clean Underwear...Always!!" <G>.

I'm going to have to steal/use some of this. . . I ride the ambulances far
too often. . .

There was a meme with various cottages and houses for operating systems with Windows, starting with 95 through 7 (I think). For Vista, the house
was upside down. <G>

That covers my experience with it well enough, yup. . .

It's like how animals feel about another animals food...it tastes better if it's stolen. <G>

Mostly human animals; the wild ones tend to just go for the easiest, without shane or guilt.

Really. He has his hands in more cookie jars than Microsoft.

He IS Microsoft!

And soon to be divorced. :P

How many expeted it all along? He's got way too much money to be loved & married only for who he is. .

Offhand, no. I have no idea where the collection of 45's I had, are.
I've got a large amount of books by the late Clive Cussler, and a large amount of vinyl LP's that I have no use for. But, I'm afraid to put out something on Facebook, for fear someone will show up, shoot me, then
ransack the place. I'd give it all away for free...folks pick it up,
and haul it off themselves...no charge.

Darmn, the Freecyclegroup finder page is gone. . . you put in y our locatuoin
& it tells you the nearest freecycle & type groups to you. (Frreecycle is
where you put an item up you don't want, as an OFFER, then choose from responses who gets scheduled tocome get it)

freecycle.com will get you started, maybe, if they managed tocreat their own platform, as they used Yahoo Groups previously, but Yahoo closed all groups.

Alternaively, go to your nearest craigslist & put an ad in Freebies or even
for sale (why not get a few extra bucks?

I give my paperbacks(I buy all used for 50c-$1 apiece) away regularly to hospitals & care homes. . . oir it buyilds up too fast.

My wife made me buy special IKEA record shelves for my LP vinyl collection
Over 2,000, mostly '60s & '70s rock)

Physicusts have PROVEN (with math) that a bumblebee cannot fly (hey, nobody said they had to fly ELEGANTLY!)

I love the Flight Of The Bumblee by Nicolai (sp?) Rimsky-Korsakov, and
the "Bumble Boogie", where it was incorporated into a Boogie Woogie for piano. The late Liberace, and now Emily Bear, can really zoom through it. And, Emily was always smiling.

I'm watching onev erson of the Bumble Boogie, by B Bumble & the Stingers -- looks like Andy Griffith doing a '30s dance with some pretty gal. . .

We avenged ourselves by hunting them into near extinction for their oh-so- delicious wings. . .

I've heard there's a shortage of chicken wings right now/

So many shortages, like for pop, because nobody's recycling the tins &
bottles with covid; ditto for tinned pet food. . .

I was checking out a chequered Czech check-out chick who was checking out some chicken at the checkout.

Say that several times fast.

Not an option, sorry.

Q: Do you like ribs or wings?
A: I like them both i am bisnacksual

Works for me...good tagline, too. :)

I had created up to a 4.5Mb tagline file, mostly inspirations like this
leading me to create a new one to add; lost it cuz too big for a floppy disk
& that old 80286 finally died.

... To err is human, to howl about it, lupine.

A new one in that set thank you!

Now I musat create one:
To err is human .. to make gasoline is to refine.

Ok, we'll riff off lupinre today:

Q: Why don’t werewolves ever know the time?
A: Because they aren’t whenwolves.

Q: When are werewolves friendly?
A: When they take a Lycan to you

Teacher: Okay class, tell me what scares you most. Let's start with Paul.
Paul: Werewolves
Nina: Sharks
Dylan: The unstoppable march of time that us guiding us all to our inevitable demise.
Catherine: Dylan.

Q: When do werewolves meet to duel?
A: At High Moon

Q: Why do werewolves listen to the same song over and over?
A: They like Lupin it

Q: Why does Hollywood always portray Werewolves as evil and violent?
A: It's just a lazy lycan-trope.

Q: Why don't werewolves drink Coors light?
A: Because they're silver bullets.

John Q. Werewolf: "Hi, Mom!"
*full moon comes out*
JQW: "I want to marry Frank."

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

FAMOUS LAST WORDS

"I know good mushrooms when I see them!"

"Don't worry, the ones that bark a lot don't bite."

"Bungee jumping is perfectly safe. Here, I'll show you."

"What do you mean 'Godzilla's at the door'?"

"Of course it's safe!"

"Is this gun loaded?"

"Hah, this curve is easy to drive through."

"What does 'Reactor-Overload imminent' mean?"

"How deep is this chasm?"

"There is no quicksand here."

"Yeah, that's right. I use a steel-cable to bungee-jump."

"Don't worry, you missed that plane by a mile."

"Why is this Toxic waste barrel bulging so much?"

"I fixed the brakes on this baby myself."

"Don't worry, I took gun safety"

"What's this button?"

"So, do you think the gorilla is sleeping or dead?"

"You dare me?"

"I think there's a world market for about 5 computers."
Thomas J. Watson, Chairman of the Board, IBM (around 1948)

"The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives."
Admiral William Leahy, US Atomic Bomb Project

"This fellow Charles Lindburg will never make it. He's doomed."
Harry Guggenheim, millionaire aviation enthusiast

"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."
Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University,
(five days before the Crash of 1929)

"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value."

"God himself could not sink this ship."
Anonymous Titanic Deck Hand

"Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific
advances."

"Everything that can be invented has been invented."
Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, US Patent Office, 1899.

"Ha! They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."

'And for the tourist who really wants to get away
from it all - safaris in Vietnam' - Newsweek predicting
popular holidays for the late 1960's

'ALL THE PASSENGERS ARE SAFE' - Lancashire Evening Post
headline on their report of the Titanic sinking.

'Television won't last. Its a flash in the pan' - Mary
Somerville, pioneer of radio educational broadcasts, 1948.

'The Beatles? They're on the wane' - the Duke of Edinburgh
in Canada 1965. They went on to produce five albums and
eleven singles, most of which got to number One.

'Radio has no future' - Lord Kelvin, President of the Royal Society,
1890-5.

'Heavier than air flying machines are impossible' - Lord Kelvin.
President of the Royal Society,1890-5.

'X-Rays will prove to be a hoax'-Lord Kelvin, President of the Royal
Society, 1890-5.

"About this 'Liberty or Death' business, Mr. Henry. Isn't there some
reasonable position in between?"
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

FAMOUS LAST WORDS
"I know good mushrooms when I see them!"

I was game to try magic mushrooms (shrooms) until I learned that there's a twin mushrom t hat experts have trouble telling which is which & this single mushroom can kill you.. .

Ah well, no worries. . . I'd've tried peyote, but it don't grow up here (we are the "Magic Mushroom Capital off the World," up in the Haida Gwai islands, which took over from where I grew up)

"Bungee jumping is perfectly safe. Here, I'll show you."

Umm, how often do you replace the rubber bands?
"Every time they break!"
How often is that?
"Once per plummeting death on the rocks below, on average."
I just suddenly remembered a place I need to be. . .
"We get a lot of that."

"Is this gun loaded?"

Take a look into the barrel, buyt you can't be 100% sure unless you pull the trigger & see if a bullet is loaded into the back of the barrel; be sure to pull your eye away quickly, though, so you don't get shot.
"duhhh-kay"
[average county IQ goes up]

"Hah, this curve is easy to drive through."

True storyt - when a hitchhiuking teen, I got picked up by a guy in a Camaro to go through the Fraser Canyon (filled with hairpin turns overlooking half mile steep cliffs leading down to the rocky shores of a rapidly moving river)

My buddy & I were in the back seat, perched o the sperakers, as there wass a lot of crap back there, so our heads werre above the windshield.

This driver went a full buried 120MPH the ebntire way, even the hairpins -- at fitrst I was ready to be constipation free, but then I noted that as he spun around these sharp turns, there was zero squeal of the tires. So I just relaxed & enjoyed the quick trip to our destination on the other siode of the canyon.

On drop-off, I talked to him, & yup, he was a professional stock car racer & there was no real danger of missing his turns or hitting a semi coming in the other direction, as we passed 3 semis in a row in our lane.

I went into the washroom at the gas station (just to "bleed the lizard") & looked in the mirror -- I looked like I had the measles (from the road dust flying over he top of the windshield & hitting my face at 120+ MPH.

Better than any roller coater I've been on & I've been on some of the better ones:
Montezuma's Revenge at Knott's Berry Farm in LA (60 feet high, 60MPH, & a loop at 60 feet up, where ou felt suspended for a second, completely upside down, looking at the world at an angle nobody should ever sees if not just ejected from a fighter jet, & about to be shot to put you out of your misery & fear.

& 5 Flags' Magic Mountain (in '83 they boasted longest one in the world)
The old wooden one (biggest wooden roller coaster in the world) here in Vancouver, at Playland.

Those all hold you in with a big rolker bar -- I had no such big soft bar to hold me down/in in that Camaro -- the speaker put me up too high to even use the seatbelts!

Good times, but I lived, so a win, definitely.

"What does 'Reactor-Overload imminent' mean?"

Irt means run fast af out that way, or don't -- you won't make it before the kaboom anyhow. . .

"Don't worry, you missed that plane by a mile."

I'm with Carli about yhe term "near miss" -- it's a "near collision"

"BAM!" <-- that's a near miss!

"So, do you think the gorilla is sleeping or dead?"

Pull a Steve Irwin & poke him in the eye with a sharp stick, & find out; I got the camera rolling. . .
go aghead, it'll be funny.

"You dare me?"

Sure, why not? Double dog dare you, even!

"I think there's a world market for about 5 computers."
Thomas J. Watson, Chairman of the Board, IBM (around 1948)

*eventual total world market. . . :D

Crazy. . . & 640Kb [of RAM] is enough for anybody -- S.Gates, who then produced DOS 4.1 that loaded 597kb of help files into RAM! (I owned that one)

"The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives."
Admiral William Leahy, US Atomic Bomb Project

Either way, if he starts running, I'm a-followin'. . .

"This fellow Charles Lindburg will never make it. He's doomed."

Chuck was the 400+th plus person to flu solo across the Atlantic, but he got all the press, cuz of the kidnapping & they made that movie that made him in to a [falsely based] American icon. . . Hee wasn't even the first American to do it!

Harry Guggenheim, millionaire aviation enthusiast

oooo, am "enthusiast". . let me sit at your feet, sir, & jeer your wisdom. I mean "hear". . .
[30 minutes later]
Oh, sorry, I was right the fitst time. . .Jeeze, you're stupid!

"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."
Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University,
(five days before the Crash of 1929)

Well, they certainly didn't go any higher that decade!

"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value."

True. . now JETS, there's some military value, but only if you can get some stupid bright-eyed patriotic 18yos to risk their lives in dog fights against superior machines & poilots. . .

"Patreiotism is rthe mechanism by which rich old people get y oung people tofight & die to protect their gold." (said by some ancient Roman philosopher -
- some 2K+ years later. . no change)

"God himself could not sink this ship."
Anonymous Titanic Deck Hand

But water could. . .& did. . .

"Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific
advances."

That might have been a statement on man's laziness & disinterest in going to a big roundish hunk of dry rock. . but then the Generals' Council(whaever it's called) realized this could get extra research funding in play to develop tecxhnologies to make better weapons. . .& so it was done.

Plus. . .f*** the Soviets with big steel phallic objects loaded with explosive materials.

"Everything that can be invented has been invented."
Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, US Patent Office, 1899.

Give or take. . . He mnust've just finished reading through Bennie Franklin's list of acciomplishments. Skip Edison -- he just put his name on others' inventions. . .

Too bad Tesla didnt get due credit for his genius, insteasd the military took it & ghave it all to GE. Some was just destroyed (like getting free electricity with a small backyard device that collected aMBIENT ELECTRICITY FROM THE ATMOSPHERE. That was't compatible with making millions & billions by
mining & burning oil & coal for electricity that can be billed at hundreds of times over cost. . .

"Ha! They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."

"bye-bye, Lardass" (BJ in one of the Smokey movies of the '80s)

'And for the tourist who really wants to get away
from it all - safaris in Vietnam' - Newsweek predicting
popular holidays for the late 1960's

uhhhh. . .little problem with that -- the tourism wasn't voluntary & you had to go through Boot Camp first. . .

I've met many Viet Nam vets over the years -- they still have "the look" of anyone who has taken a walk through Hell. Buddy of mine produces Section-8 housing for hundreds of them. . .

'ALL THE PASSENGERS ARE SAFE' - Lancashire Evening Post
headline on their report of the Titanic sinking.

i.e. "It was witnessed that a bunch of rich people wqerew loaded into lifeboats -- we stopped filming as they began shooting the poor who tried to get into them.

'Television won't last. Its a flash in the pan' - Mary
Somerville, pioneer of radio educational broadcasts, 1948.

well, partly right: GOOD TV didn't last. :'(

Luckily I can still find a few goodies on the weekends here, like: Gomer Pyle, Pfc
Green Acres
Hogan's Heros
All in the Family
& others I only spot watch when nothing else on

'The Beatles? They're on the wane' - the Duke of Edinburgh
in Canada 1965. They went on to produce five albums and
eleven singles, most of which got to number One.

I wasn;t such a thrilled fan -- they were okay, but not what I was into -- even the Rolling Stones were better. KISS has a higher ratio of recordings vs top ten hits.

'Radio has no future' - Lord Kelvin, President of the Royal Society,
1890-5.

Shoulda said that in 1951.
& again 30 years later with MTV+"Video Killed the Radio Star"

'Heavier than air flying machines are impossible' - Lord Kelvin.
President of the Royal Society,1890-5.

Pop him into a basic fully loaded 747. . . Make him sit in a window seat.

'X-Rays will prove to be a hoax'-Lord Kelvin, President of the Royal
Society, 1890-5.

X-Rays, as understood then, never existed.

"About this 'Liberty or Death' business, Mr. Henry. Isn't there some reasonable position in between?"

A faier rebuttal.

Apparently being born on a particular patch of soil on this planet makes you beholden to willing to defend it with your life if necessary. (shyeah, right! I save that attitude/wilingness for my wife & kids alone)

And being born with a penis means if you're on the Titanic, you have to wait to get onto a life saving ilfeboat until ALL women & children are loaded (except the poor; f*** the poor, they're not people -- just parasites /s)

I'll do that anyway, but not because it's a societal norm -- only because I've done the math, & their lives are of more absolute objective value than my own & I'm a man who is all about fairness.

&, hey, if I do mamage, by the grace of God, to survive, I'll be a hero to women everywhere, & I canm ake a good living dfoing the ytalk show cirtcuit alonefrom then on in & drink free in any bar in the English speaking world!

I'm fair. . .AND practical

Downloaded film Titanic for the family to watch this evening. Annoyingly Video and Sound has come across in separate files. It's syncing right now.

My grandpa warned people the titanic would sink No one listened but he kept warning them until people got sick of him and threw him out of the cinema.

Q: What do the Titanic and the Sixth sense have in common? A: Icy dead people ("I see dead people")

I'm gonna tell my kids that the Titanic was carrying a lot of mayonnaise And that it sunk on the 5th of May which is why we commemorate the Sinko de Mayo

Q: What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? A: About halfway.

The Titanic II is a modern-day replica of the RMS Titanic and is scheduled to set sail in 2022. It's creators do not believe it will relive the tragedy of it's predecessor because
that was an ice-olated incident.

Iceberg!! Iceberg!! We're in a titanic pickle here But lettuce romaine calm, help will turnip soon

I renamed my phone "The Titanic"
Now, every time I plug it into my computer it says: ôThe Titanic is syncingö

Historians have proved that people from every zodiac sign survived the Sinking of the Titanic
Except Leo


--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)