Just had to write something. Don't know how many folks read this
newsgroup.

I've been doing a job (sporadic work calls) that pays well, but it's just
not the kind of work I really enjoy. It's physically demanding, and my
body just doesn't seem happy with it. Maybe because at the end of the day
I don't feel like I've done anything particularly meaningful. I feel bad
when I say no to a call. I feel bad when I say yes. Sucks either way.

I'd like to just quit for good, but there's always the allure of the money
(its over 16 bucks an hour).

I'd like to do something that engages my mind more, which is more of a
strength than my physical ability, or something more connected to nature,
but I don't know what. It seems much of what I'm good at doing is stuff
no one really wants to pay for. Or it's full-time work that I'm not
ready to handle.

I've thought about homesteading. I love working in the garden. But I
own a house in the city and feel trapped because selling it to move to
the country (where I know I'd feel better) seems like an impossibly huge process with circular dependencies.

I've been doing well for several years, but this together with a buttload
of economic insecurity just seems to be bringing the depression and
anxiety back.

If only I could get paid for something I really enjoy doing and feel
good about doing (and it doesn't trash my morals), I'd feel a whole lot
better and I could ditch the other work without regret.

But I can't seem to solve this puzzle.

Thoughts?

~~A


--
Andrew T, Rochester, New York, USA (USDA Zone 6)

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