• =?UTF-8?Q?My_adoptive_parents_ostracized_me_because_I=e2=80=99m_gay?= =

    From a425couple@21:1/5 to All on Wed Apr 18 14:41:25 2018
    My adoptive parents ostracized me because I’m gay — do I have a claim on their estate?

    Published: Aug 12, 2017 6:37 p.m. ET

    This man’s sister refuses to return his calls after their death of their mother


    Dear Moneyologist,

    My father died in 2014 and my mother died in January of this year. I was adopted, and my non-biological sister is my only other remaining family
    member. A second cousin informed me of my mother’s deaths My father did
    not include me in the will, but so far that’s hearsay. I did call an
    attorney in Indiana where my family is from, he checked about any deeds
    for me, and apparently there was no will. Also, what about life
    insurance policies? Who gets that? My main concern is who acquired all
    of my mother and father’s personal effects, cars, jewelry, etc. Am I
    able to receive any of these items?

    Read also: This is one person you should never unfriend on Facebook...

    The main conflict in my family was the fact I’m gay. My mother and
    father believed it was a “choice,” which explains why I was not left anything. Can I obtain a copy of the will? I asked my father about 10
    years ago if I was in the will and he said yes. I would like to know my
    rights, in particular, how to obtain any of my parents personal effects,
    as I believe my estranged sister has helped herself. I attempted to
    contact her in December of 2015, but she never returned my call, so I
    cannot speak to her at all regarding this matter.

    Can I sue? What are my options?

    Michael in California


    thanks for watching!
    Dear Michael,

    I’m sorry your parents ostracized you from your family. That must have
    taken a toll on you. Acceptance and love is about the one thing we all
    expect from our parents and, given that your parents chose you for
    adoption, it’s even sadder. There are plenty of parents out there who
    would have loved to adopt a baby and given him the love and respect he deserved. That said, you are absolutely a legal heir as an adopted
    child. And you have the same right to your parents’ belongings as your sister. To close this chapter in your life and to make a stand, I
    suggest you pursue it.

    Hire a lawyer in Indiana and file a petition with the county court to
    nominate yourself as executor, if a will was filed. You only need to
    know the county where your parents resided and you can likely find out
    whether a will was filed with one phone call. If there was no will and
    your mother died “intestate,” you are likely entitled to half your parents’ estate. If there was a will and you were not mentioned at all,
    you could also challenge that will on the basis that your omission was
    an oversight. “You still have a bite of the apple,” says Patricia Payne,
    a Washington, D.C.-based lawyer.

    Don’t miss: Should I invite my father to my gay wedding?

    Even if you are mentioned in the will, you can still challenge it. You
    have been quiet for many years and your sister will undoubtedly be
    shocked to hear from you. It would cost you no more than a few hundred
    dollars to send that letter and, in such cases, many lawyers would do
    this on a contingency or even pro bono basis, especially if there’s a valuable asset like a family home at stake. It can be prohibitively
    expensive to defend such a case, Payne said. Depending on the size of
    the estate — especially in cases where a family member is estranged — lawyers do advise their clients to settle.

    Also see: My father didn’t love me He only left me $10,000

    If your sister’s name was not on the deed of the house, the property
    must go through probate and (without a will saying otherwise) you are
    entitled to half. Sometimes, parents erroneously list their children as
    tenants in common on the deeds of their home rather than joint tenants
    with survivorship rights. In the former case, you again could instruct
    your lawyer to name you as a rightful heir to 50% of the property.
    Tenancy in common has no survivorship rights if none are specified in a

    Most people name beneficiaries on their life insurance policies. In the
    event there is no named beneficiary, the insurance company would pay the
    estate and, in that case, you would likely be entitled to half, assuming
    there is no will. Of course, it’s hard to track down valuables once they
    have been spirited away by a relative. But if you did successfully make
    a claim on the estate, your sister would have to account for assets that
    were taken from your mother’s home. Sometimes, it’s just as important to have your voice heard, regardless of the outcome.

    Good luck on finally closing this chapter on your life.

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