• Divorce after 50: What I wish I had known beforehand (2/2)

    From a425couple@21:1/5 to All on Sat Apr 14 19:30:24 2018
    [continued from previous message]

    am more spontaneous as she is more serious now.  Glad your still
    standing from lifes punches.  I would guess we both had our chances to
    end the marriages. ITS amazing how some just survive and go through hell
    and keep climbing. Whats more amazing is some it comes natural and other
    it is a hell.  I was a lot like you  for many years.

    James Faulkner 2 days ago
    @William Gates  Gates, you are really trolling.

    Richard Harding Dec 8, 2017
    I did not get a divorce but my wife passed about 5 years ago. Divorcé
    and death are pretty much the same as I found out and here is what I
    learned from the experience. You will lose all your mutual friends, the
    only friends you will keep are friends that really did not know your
    wife very well. The friends you do keep will try to set you up with some single friends that his wife knows. Don't do it, these women will have
    too much baggage, these women will either be divorced or widowed. Only
    date young women for the reason I just stated, young women like a lot
    more sex and have a better outlook on life. Don't worry about your
    girlfriend getting all of your stuff when you die, just don't marry her
    but do leave her something for putting up with your sorry as*. Date as
    many young pretty women as you can and have fun, you will not live
    forever and It's not hard to do be cause most young women feel safe
    around older guys (daddy issues, bad past experiences etc. I don't know).

    Paul R. Ethridge Dec 7, 2017
    All of what I am going to say below will bring out the angry diatribes
    from mostly females. However, I am just telling you like it is, not how
    you would like it to be.

    The main thing you could tell the over fifty female is that she will not
    have the same “draw” with the men as when she was in her twenties or thirties. She has aged and is just not as attractive- there are now now
    lumps instead of bumps. The flaming male desire for her will likely not
    be there, and the sex after a few shots on goal ( aided by Viagra) will
    be very pedestrian and quickly move to the limp mode.

    And no, there isn’t a rich, young Tom Selleck look-a-like waiting for
    you. If you are lucky, you may possibly land an unemployed plumbing assistant, with a bloated Harvey Weinstein look. Best advice, stay with
    Bubba that you married 20 years ago, and be glad you have somebody.

    RB on youtube Dec 9, 2017
    You make a lot of assumptions. Many, many women in the age group to
    which you refer don’t care about dating, don’t want to remarry, and are interested in exploring far more imaginative things. If they were
    married a long time, perhaps they value the time alone, unaccountable to anyone else, especially if their children are grown and on their own. Frankly, if you and your attitude are representative of what they face post-divorce, they’re going to do much better alone. If you weren’t so earnest, I’d think your comment is parody.

    Chef Dan George Jan 1, 2018
    @RB on youtube Paul's  "attitude" is actually right on the money. There
    is an unwritten rule for divorced women over 35: add (at least) 15 years
    to your age for your "target" age for marriage partner. If you want to
    play, you can probably reduce that to 5 years over your age, but that's temporary. But for you RB, I have to assume that you are one of those
    "over 50" women (I've met plenty) who just can't find a guy under
    70....who wants to have coffee with you.

    Catherine B Miller 13 days ago
    RB: Yes, guys think that women can’t possibly live without them. And, of course, THEY are all Adonises.

    Joe Sockit Jan 1, 2018
    @Paul R. Ethridge Quite right, but it works both ways. After divorce
    neither party has the money they once had. Usually a lot less. For
    Women, no man wants a bitter older woman who denigrates her ex
    endlessly, why would they want to be next? For the men, unless you have
    money no younger woman wants much to do with you either, it doesn't
    matter if they're older or younger. They are all looking for a sugar
    daddy. I've noticed that divorced women who end up with money are never inclined to be generous, men are much more likely to share. While I'm
    sure there are rare exceptions, for older single women or divorced women
    it's all about money. A fun, active, and interesting guy is great as
    long as he's picking up the tab. Women want the traditional dating
    scenario, ie.. the man pays, but then want equality in every other area.
    To bad there isn't a way to really show people heading down the divorce
    road what it's really going to be like. Trial separations don't even
    come close to the actual reality.

    David Wooten Dec 7, 2017
    I like solitude and prefer to be alone but would have stayed in marriage
    if not for the government taxing my IRA 'income' (I'm retired) at the
    same rate as my wife's 6-figure pharmacist income.  There is no 'tax deduction for couples when both work' if one is retired.

    Imagine the frustration of wanting to buy a better car and realizing
    that its price would not include a 30% markup if I bought it with IRA money.  I wanted to pay for my own food, shelter, clothing, etc. but everything I paid for would have 30% tax (in addition to the high
    Arizona sales tax).  I and my wife of 26 years called it quits - and
    since then, we get along much better.

    To government, I say, stick it up yours. I don't need you for nuthin'.

    Kent Webb Jan 1, 2018
    @David Wooten If you're being taxed "30%" on your IRA funds, you must
    have had the benefit of sheltering it from tax all along.  How is that different than earning $100,000 from a job, but only taking $70,000 net
    after deductions?  Now, if you had a Roth, and you started withdrawals
    later than 5 years after starting contributing, all of you withdrawals
    would be tax free.

    David Wooten Jan 1, 2018
    @Kent Webb @David Wooten "If you're being taxed "30%" on your IRA funds,
    you must have had the benefit of sheltering it from tax all along. "

    Yes, but so what?  Are you suggesting that it's 'unfair' for me not to
    pay the 30% tax because I deferred taxes earlier?  The idea is to pay as little taxes as is legally possible.  That means deferring taxes and itemizing deductions when your income is high so you can pay a lower
    rate when retired on a lesser income and no deductions.  If you think there's something wrong with that, we have no basis for discussion.

    Chef Dan George Jan 1, 2018
    @David Wooten dumb reason to stay married if you were so unhappy.

    Dirk Dolmar Dec 7, 2017
    Perspective from biased females. Probably all last born, only child or
    only daughters who's husbands couldn't keep up with daddy. Boo Hoo.

    Donna Huston Dec 7, 2017
    This is a fear mongering article.   Here is a different perspective from
    a person who was divorced after 50 and does not regret it.

    Fear # 1-Your older children not living at home have their own life and
    will get used to it.  why would you stay in a bad situation for them?

    Fear #2-Be real and explore the job market first.  duh. Get a job now.

    Fear #3-How painful is living in the hell you are in now?  Of course
    it's painful.  And worth it. And you will live and be free-er and
    happier. (unless you live in the past and rewrite history, etc.) Grow
    up.  Life is painful.

    Fear #4-Friends?  They are NOT your friends if they bail on you.  Good
    to know now and not later when you are in some other painful situation.

    Fear #5-Well if you walk away from stuff and don't fight over joint
    custody unless your spouse is abusive which of course any amount of
    money to save your kids is worth it.  Talk to the lawyer first.  Don't phone them at all or use them as your counselor.

    Fear #6-Free is good.  Responsibility is also good for you. Plan ahead.
    Find good friends. You will be fine.

    People don't die from divorce.  they divorced for a reason.  Most people
    do not regret getting divorced.  That is a lie.  Ask your divorced
    friends if they regret it or would not do it again.  They may regret not knowing some of this stuff but they are still better off.

    I do not regret it.  My kids notice that I am happier and less stressed.
     My real friends have not abandoned me.  I had a job first and
    supported him anyway.  It was emotional but not that painful.  I walked away from the house.  We did not fight over custody.  I like being free
    to do what I am supposed to do and not worry about someone elses
    negative reactions and control.

    James Faulkner Dec 7, 2017
    @Donna Huston "Fear #2-Be real and explore the job market first.  duh.
    Get a job now."

    Why would you not have a job in the first place if you needed one?

    Jay Alvarez Dec 7, 2017
    Divorce worked for me but I should have done it sooner!  The weirdest
    thing that happened (for a full year) is that I continued to buy
    groceries and prepared meals that only HE liked.  Habits are hard to
    break but divorce can be a necessity for those of us whose marriages
    are/were misery!

    disco dan Dec 7, 2017
    Interesting article but I think she left a lot out.  I've heard that
    most divorcees would not get a divorce if they had to do it over again.
    The easy way out doesn't guarantee happiness and the grass isn't always greener on the other side.  I've been married 20 years and I plan on
    staying married for the rest of my life to the same woman.  We've had
    our ups and downs but after 20 years am I really going to start over??
    You get used to being with the same person and even if you disagree a
    lot it's like they are a part of you now.  You get divorced and you rip
    out part of yourself, it hurts and you are never the same. A v Jones had
    the best advice, try hard to make your marriage work, you'll be happy
    you did.

    Donna Huston Dec 7, 2017
    @disco dan you do not know what you are saying.  Most people do not
    regret getting out of hell.  It's not minor disagreement.  It's abuse, control, walking on eggshells, violence, emotional abuse and No love.  I
    did not rip anything out of myself.  I separated a bad boil from my
    body.  You either have a great woman and are a nice man OR one of you is
    a controller and the other one does not mind enough or has been
    conditioned to believe that it is the correct way to live.  Think about people and not an institution.  Ups and downs do not apply to what many people are going through.  Starting over is good.  And it doesn't have
    to be with another marriage.

    disco dan Dec 7, 2017
    @Donna Huston @disco dan You took what I said completely out of context
    and put words in my statement that I didn't say.  I never said that you should stay in an abusive relationship, no one should ever do that.  You should get far away from someone who is trying to hurt you.  However,
    I'm sure most divorces are not because of abuse, quite the contrary,
    it's an inconvenience and a bother to put up with someone else.  It's
    become way too easy to give up on the marriage and just call it quits.
    In the past our parents and grandparents would move heaven and earth
    before getting a divorce.  Now it seems that after the first sign of problems people are ready to throw in the towel.  My point was that if you're not getting along, it's worth the time and effort to try to work things out rather then destroying what you have built.

    Lodestar Research 3 days ago
    Dan referred to a divorce, not "getting out of hell."  You are
    distorting his statement for your own agenda.

    jimmy smith Dec 7, 2017
    Where is the male perspective in this story? The usual one-way
    journalism as practiced by female writers, and with the usual
    slant...women as victims.

    Ashley Vaughn Dec 7, 2017
    @jimmy smith I was telling myself the same thing. This article should do
    a follow up just for the male perspective.  #MGTOW

    robert patridge Dec 6, 2017
    My first marriage ended with my wife taking off with my former boss. And
    in California, that does not matter.  So I got to pay child support,
    spousal support, lost my VA financed home, and newer of two cars we had.

    After thinking it over back in the day, I found myself waking up at the
    time I chose to wake up. I found myself eating when I chose to eat and
    had a smile on face that was genuine. It took about a month.  Meanwhile, their relationship (call it hot sex) ended and she wanted to come back
    to me.  I said absolutely not, and I started humming a country and
    western song that went sorta like, "Thank God She is Gone, Greyhound."
    Today, thirty five years later, I still remember my joy to telling her
    to get outa my life.

    I never looked back and can clearly state from a man's point of view,
    kick that wench to the curb.  It will add years of smiles and glee into
    your life and make those future women smile too!

    Chef Dan George Dec 6, 2017
    @robert patridge Been there done that! My ex left me for the house
    painter (really). I paid my child support and was able to lump sum my
    spousal support. 10 years later, I found the love of my life.... and
    right after I got remarried, I inherited ALOT.... so now my current wife
    and I travel the world and enjoy our early retirement. My kids barely
    speak to my ex. They enjoy the time with my wife and I. The painter left
    ex, and she lives alone in someone's guest house with her cats. She's
    working as a receptionist in a doctor's office.....Karma is real!

    wells anderson Dec 9, 2017
    @Chef Dan George @robert patridge - Its hard to live with a human
    sometimes - I think my best choice is always the Dog. People with pets
    live 10 years longer - Most men die before the women most of the time -

    Chef Dan George Dec 10, 2017
    @wells anderson Because they want to......

    M Tek Jan 2, 2018
    @Chef Dan George @wells anderson  ... LOL ... that's funny :)

    Why is divorce so expensive.... because it's WORTH IT !!!!

    Catherine B Miller 13 days ago
    Then why do guys always complain about the costs?

    James Faulkner Dec 7, 2017
    @robert patridge "And in California, that does not matter.  So I got to
    pay child support, spousal support, lost my VA financed home, and newer
    of two cars we had. "

    Cali is a  strict "community property state" so that sounds like b.s.
    Yes it doesn't matter why you got divorced to the state. However, a
    50/50 split of all community property assets is mandated so whatever you lost, she lost as well in the sale - unless you two came to an agreement
    on division of property.

    thomas hunt Dec 31, 2017
    @robert patridge My divorce lawyer said to me: The best revenge is a
    good life.

    A v Jones Dec 6, 2017
    We are celebrating our 60th wedding aniversary next month with our 14 children, 23 granchildren, and 2 great grandchildren.  Not being careful about who you marry and not working to keep the marriage going is the
    biggest mistake a person can make in life.  You get out what you put in
    many times over.

    Life has been and is good.  Make your marriage work.

    Ellen John Dec 6, 2017
    Spent over two years of fighting and dreading coming into the house.
    Then three years going through a divorce that was acknowledged by my
    attorney as being the most dishonest and worst ex-spouse he had seen in
    40 years of practice.  Terrible way to destroy an estate, but the
    gateway to a great life.

    William Gates Dec 6, 2017
    Divorce is not cheap so expect to pay out for it for the rest of one's
    life and even after that. Take Trump for example. He cheated on his
    first two wives and paid out alimony and much more in the settlements. Melanya has plans to divorce him as well, now that she has plenty of
    evidence of infidelity. You know what they say about karma. Trump is an
    old miserable fool. He needs to resign and move to Moscow so he can see
    his only friend, Vladimir Putin, on a daily basis.

    Thomas Ham Dec 6, 2017
    @William Gates

    Get all your talking points in?

    Chef Dan George Dec 6, 2017
    @William Gates When do you think the Clintons and Obamas will get
    divorced? Talk about marriages from he11

    jeff lammer Dec 9, 2017
    @Chef Dan George @William Gates

    Now that Hillary lost, she has no need for Bill anymore.  On the other
    hand, people would invite Bill to things that she could still tag along
    to.  By herself, she would only be a bitter embarrassment...

    Bill would love to be out there once again, or perhaps he is now anyway?

    Dirk Dolmar Dec 7, 2017
    @William Gates Another one that's emotionally insecure and mentally
    weak. Still can't get over it, can you? Keep that painful bile going.
    You deserve what it gives you.

    jerry morhart Dec 8, 2017
    @William Gates You know that Melania is planning to divorce Donald? The
    only way you could possibly know that is if you were sleeping with her,
    which is quite laughable since you don't even know how to spell her
    name. You must be one of those people who enjoy inventing gossip and
    fake news. You need true facts and evidence before spewing hurtfull
    gossip about someone. Just put yourself on the receiving end of some
    hurtfull untrue gossip and analize how you would like that.

    wells anderson Dec 9, 2017
    @William Gates trump more then likely has an iron clad prenup - the
    payout was determined prior to marriage. Another good plan form a great
    man - your president.

    Baron Dean Dec 6, 2017
    Oh c'mon, its not what you wish you had known, its what you chose to ignore

    Ellen John Dec 10, 2017
    @Baron Dean How true.  Several people tried to talk me out of my
    disaster.  And I really couldn't say much about the I told you so's.

    Chef Dan George Dec 6, 2017
    Interesting that all of the anecdotes are from women. The men were
    probably to happy to care.........

    Prag Matic Dec 6, 2017
    @Chef Dan George I was recently watching an old Mel Gibson movie (What
    Women Want)  with a good line in it:

    "What's the difference between a wife and a job? After 10 years a job
    still sucks"

    Russ Tanner Dec 6, 2017
    My ex-wife was too busy being a drunk to show up at the divorce hearing.
    I think the felony warrant for her had something to do with that also.

    I got everything AND custody of HER teenage child. I later found out
    being a single parent to a teen girl had it's own type of hell, lol.

    buy Tampons I go.....

    Chef Dan George Dec 6, 2017
    @Russ Tanner I remember when I had to first buy tampons for my daughter.
    At least I had a lot women co-workers who tipped me off that this might
    be an issue.....LOL....

    Kevin Carey Dec 6, 2017
    @Russ Tanner  no wonder why she drank. She was married to an idiot like
    you. Grow Up!!

    Chef Dan George Dec 6, 2017
    @Kevin Carey You really are clueless....

    Diane McClaran Dec 6, 2017
    I divorced at 41.  It was an uncontested divorce with no children involved.  We went to a DIY divorce center center in San Francisco which wasn't expensive at all.  Basically they file the paper work for you.  I had a good job and reveled in being on my own.  Two months after we
    split, I started seeing a wonderful man.  We have been together 24 plus yrs.  We are married and happy.

    billy vassiliou Dec 6, 2017
    @Diane McClaran   As I was reading your comment, I wanted to dig into
    why you sound so positive compared to others on this board.  I stopped
    my search after "I had a good job..."  So many people become so
    financially dependent on their spouse that divorce gets ugly.  My ex
    wasted thousands trying to extract $$$ from me and spent countless hours
    in court trying to maximize her time with our kids (more time = more
    child support).  She only hurt herself in the process and now the kids
    are teens eating her out of house and home.

    Ashley Vaughn Dec 7, 2017
    @billy vassiliou @Diane McClaran This is why I truly believe in
    assortative mating. No need to be with someone just because you depend
    on them. Marriage should be a want and if I'm not wanted anymore, then
    adios! Oh, not with my things and support though. I can only date
    someone seriously now if they have their own money and educated. #MGTOW #Prenups

    Brian Morabito Dec 6, 2017
    bitter board

    thomas hunt Dec 6, 2017
    I learned that you should never try to find happiness in the company of another person.  They will eventually betray you and hurt you.

    Philip Weisbroat Dec 6, 2017
    Celebrating my divorce everyday. The freedom and control over my future
    is awesome. Never lonely. This article is nonsense.

    Ask the former partners of these lonely people if they miss them,
    probably not. Interview both former married people from former married couples!

    Divorcing? Best thing ever, it’s what you make it. So much to do without
    a lousy legal partner.

    Have a great day :)))

    billy vassiliou Dec 6, 2017
    @Philip Weisbroat  Agree with your sentiments completely.  They
    should've interviewed a couple of men, too, to get a broader perspective.

    Dan Green Dec 6, 2017
    Good article and very true for those of us who have experienced a
    divorce. As I looked back, I believe young people should be taught in
    college and university, (high school is just too early), the perils of getting married in the first place. Currently stats show 50% of
    marriages end in divorce. No stats are available of  the % of couples
    who want to split, but hang for their kids, or the % who don't want to
    bust up an estate. Most ideals of marriage are myths.

    L H Dec 6, 2017
    Marriage is an odd thing.  To think that you're going to live and be
    happy with a person for 50 or more years.  Really what are the odds of

    Felando Thigpen Dec 6, 2017
    This articles screams "Stay Single!"

    Felando Thigpen Dec 6, 2017
    All these are reasons why you should never depend on anyone to help and comfort you.  Peace is an internal thing, support comes from yourself primarily, friends are unreliable.

    Sal Gentile Dec 6, 2017
    With 50+% of our population divorced at least once I am surprised there
    are no comments listed here.

    The USA divorce rate is far higher than in many other developed nations.
    Part of our problem ___ actually the Biggest part of our problem is our arrogance. Most of us feel we are right and we refuse to be
    accommodating or flexible. Like children when our feeling get hurt by
    what our spouse says or does __ we rather run off and hide than attempt
    to negotiate a deal we can both live Together with.  We quickly forget
    our spouse was once the apple of our eye who we were once head over
    heels in love with and becomes our bitter and worst enemy because both parties have decided to make war with each other rather than try for
    peace. Smart and wiser people are always willing to say "I am sorry"
    even when they know they are correct. While arrogant people always think
    they are correct even when they are actually wrong.

    Saying I am sorry (even when you are correct) is a lot less painful and
    less costly (emotionally and financially) than losing that one time Best friend that you married. Growing old alone without someone to share your decades of memories together is no fun. Two people working together can accomplish far more than anyone living alone.

    It is far smarter to buy her some flowers and say I am sorry, rather
    then being bitter and paying for a divorce ___ which could also be a
    path towards poverty.  No matter how we slice the cake ___ Divorce means Failure. And when we are divorced 2 or more times it makes us a habitual failure who rather throw in the towel and quit rather than put in the
    time and efforts required to make it work. Forgiveness is a Blessing.

    Dan S Dec 6, 2017
    @Sal Gentile " Divorce means Failure".     I was with you on all your comments until I hit that phrase.

     People change, viewpoints change, feelings change.  So if I felt love
    15 years ago and now I don't feel love for a person anymore...then I'm
    now a failure because I don't feel they way I dd 15 years ago?

    Ok, you failed to stay together "till death do you part".  But if you
    don't feel good and whole in the relationship, then what is the point
    for "sticking it out".

    I was divorced once when I was 35.  It was a 7 year marriage.  I got remarried in my early 40s.  What I did learn in the divorce was how to
    make better choices the second time around.  And I agree that we should fight it out as much as possible and not give up quickly.

    You made some good comments above!

    Rob Merwin Dec 6, 2017
    When men get married they give up two of the biggest things that attract women to them. 1. The control over their money and the ability to buy
    and provide for a woman. 2. Their ability to have sex with other women.

    It's really designed and set up for failure

    billy vassiliou Dec 6, 2017
    @Rob Merwin  Marrying up (i.e., marrying someone who is better off, has
    more to lose) will solve #1.

    #2 is more personal... you're going to want to have sex with other women eventually, you just have to decide for yourself what risks you're
    willing to take.

    Ashley Vaughn Dec 7, 2017
    @billy vassiliou @Rob Merwin Men need to "marry up" more now than ever. Unfortunately, there is not an abundance of women that actually have
    worth while careers to marry up to. Most go to school and get worthless degrees while accumulating large amounts of school and consumer debt.
    I've said in another comment that assortative mating is the only way to
    go. Marry someone at your level. If not, MGTOW!!

    James Faulkner Dec 7, 2017
    @Sal Gentile Sal, again you prove what an ignorant person you are. You
    have clearly never been married, but have plenty of opinions on it.

    Rick Jarvis Dec 31, 2017
    @Sal Gentile One reason is Americans are stupid enough to get married
    instead of simply living together the way French people do.

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    Rise of ‘Gray’ Divorce Forces Financial Reckoning After 50
    Too many women let husbands make the long-term financial decisions,
    leaving them vulnerable when separation or death strikes.
    April 13, 2018, 2:00 AM PDT
    For some, it means liberation. For others, loss. For women in
    particular, the doubling of the divorce rate for the 50-plus crowd since
    the 1990s can mean something far more prosaic: a need to shoulder the
    big financial decisions they’d let their spouses deal with when they
    were married.

    Often, they find some nasty surprises after he’s gone.

    A majority of married women—56 percent—still leave major investing and financial planning decisions to their spouse, according to a report,
    “Own Your Worth,” released Friday by UBS Global Wealth Management. It’s not just older women slipping into the more traditional gender roles of
    their parents: Some 61 percent of millennial women said they leave
    investment decisions to their husbands. That compares with 54 percent
    for baby boomer women. UBS surveyed more than 600 women who have either
    been divorced or widowed within the last five years, along with 1,500
    couples. Respondents had to have at least $250,000 in investable assets.

    The difference is stark in attitudes toward making major financial
    decisions between married women and women who were divorced or widowed. Fifty-nine percent of widows and divorcees regret not taking part in
    long-term financial planning when they were in a couple. Eighty-five
    percent of married women who weren’t active in making long-term
    financial decisions said their spouse knows more about financial issues
    than they do. Eighty percent of women said they were content with how
    financial responsibilities were split in their marriage.

    “Despite all the strides that women have made, they are still abdicating important financial decisions that will profoundly affect their future,”
    said Paula Polito, chief strategy officer for UBS Global Wealth
    Management, in an email. “Women and divorcees who find themselves alone
    wish they had been more involved in finances while they were married.
    Nearly all of them advise other women to get more involved early on and
    break the cycle of financial abdication.”

    Those women practice what they preach. Of the divorced or widowed women
    in the survey who remarried, eight out of 10 were more active in the
    financial decision-making in their current relationship. (That’s a good
    move, since subsequent marriages have a higher rate of dissolving than
    do first marriages—and since women have longer life expectancies than men.)

    Divorcees may have been burned by financial surprises that popped up in
    the split. Fifty-six percent of divorcees and widows discovered new
    financial wrinkles in the process of splitting up. Not all were
    negative—some women discovered 401(k) retirement saving plans they
    didn’t know existed, or were simply surprised at how much they didn’t
    know about their finances.

    Among the most common negative surprises were hidden spending, hidden
    debt and hidden accounts. Outdated wills were another unwelcome
    discovery. In hindsight, 94 percent of widows and divorcees would insist
    on complete financial transparency with their spouse.

    Have personal finance questions or lessons to share? Join Money Talks,
    the new Facebook community from Bloomberg News.

    — With assistance by Sonali Basak


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