[continued from previous message]

am more spontaneous as she is more serious now.  Glad your still
standing from lifes punches.  I would guess we both had our chances to
end the marriages. ITS amazing how some just survive and go through hell
and keep climbing. Whats more amazing is some it comes natural and other
it is a hell.  I was a lot like you  for many years.

FlagShare1LikeReply
James Faulkner 2 days ago
@William Gates  Gates, you are really trolling.

FlagShareLikeReply
Richard Harding Dec 8, 2017
I did not get a divorce but my wife passed about 5 years ago. Divorcé
and death are pretty much the same as I found out and here is what I
learned from the experience. You will lose all your mutual friends, the
only friends you will keep are friends that really did not know your
wife very well. The friends you do keep will try to set you up with some single friends that his wife knows. Don't do it, these women will have
too much baggage, these women will either be divorced or widowed. Only
date young women for the reason I just stated, young women like a lot
more sex and have a better outlook on life. Don't worry about your
girlfriend getting all of your stuff when you die, just don't marry her
but do leave her something for putting up with your sorry as*. Date as
many young pretty women as you can and have fun, you will not live
forever and It's not hard to do be cause most young women feel safe
around older guys (daddy issues, bad past experiences etc. I don't know).

FlagShare13LikeReply
Paul R. Ethridge Dec 7, 2017
All of what I am going to say below will bring out the angry diatribes
from mostly females. However, I am just telling you like it is, not how
you would like it to be.

The main thing you could tell the over fifty female is that she will not
have the same “draw” with the men as when she was in her twenties or thirties. She has aged and is just not as attractive- there are now now
lumps instead of bumps. The flaming male desire for her will likely not
be there, and the sex after a few shots on goal ( aided by Viagra) will
be very pedestrian and quickly move to the limp mode.

And no, there isn’t a rich, young Tom Selleck look-a-like waiting for
you. If you are lucky, you may possibly land an unemployed plumbing assistant, with a bloated Harvey Weinstein look. Best advice, stay with
Bubba that you married 20 years ago, and be glad you have somebody.

FlagShare10LikeReply
RB on youtube Dec 9, 2017
You make a lot of assumptions. Many, many women in the age group to
which you refer don’t care about dating, don’t want to remarry, and are interested in exploring far more imaginative things. If they were
married a long time, perhaps they value the time alone, unaccountable to anyone else, especially if their children are grown and on their own. Frankly, if you and your attitude are representative of what they face post-divorce, they’re going to do much better alone. If you weren’t so earnest, I’d think your comment is parody.

FlagShare4LikeReply
Chef Dan George Jan 1, 2018
@RB on youtube Paul's  "attitude" is actually right on the money. There
is an unwritten rule for divorced women over 35: add (at least) 15 years
to your age for your "target" age for marriage partner. If you want to
play, you can probably reduce that to 5 years over your age, but that's temporary. But for you RB, I have to assume that you are one of those
"over 50" women (I've met plenty) who just can't find a guy under
70....who wants to have coffee with you.

FlagShare2LikeReply
Catherine B Miller 13 days ago
RB: Yes, guys think that women can’t possibly live without them. And, of course, THEY are all Adonises.

FlagShareLikeReply
Joe Sockit Jan 1, 2018
@Paul R. Ethridge Quite right, but it works both ways. After divorce
neither party has the money they once had. Usually a lot less. For
Women, no man wants a bitter older woman who denigrates her ex
endlessly, why would they want to be next? For the men, unless you have
money no younger woman wants much to do with you either, it doesn't
matter if they're older or younger. They are all looking for a sugar
daddy. I've noticed that divorced women who end up with money are never inclined to be generous, men are much more likely to share. While I'm
sure there are rare exceptions, for older single women or divorced women
it's all about money. A fun, active, and interesting guy is great as
long as he's picking up the tab. Women want the traditional dating
scenario, ie.. the man pays, but then want equality in every other area.
To bad there isn't a way to really show people heading down the divorce
road what it's really going to be like. Trial separations don't even
come close to the actual reality.

FlagShare3LikeReply
David Wooten Dec 7, 2017
I like solitude and prefer to be alone but would have stayed in marriage
if not for the government taxing my IRA 'income' (I'm retired) at the
same rate as my wife's 6-figure pharmacist income.  There is no 'tax deduction for couples when both work' if one is retired.

Imagine the frustration of wanting to buy a better car and realizing
that its price would not include a 30% markup if I bought it with IRA money.  I wanted to pay for my own food, shelter, clothing, etc. but everything I paid for would have 30% tax (in addition to the high
Arizona sales tax).  I and my wife of 26 years called it quits - and
since then, we get along much better.

To government, I say, stick it up yours. I don't need you for nuthin'.

FlagShare3LikeReply
Kent Webb Jan 1, 2018
@David Wooten If you're being taxed "30%" on your IRA funds, you must
have had the benefit of sheltering it from tax all along.  How is that different than earning $100,000 from a job, but only taking $70,000 net
after deductions?  Now, if you had a Roth, and you started withdrawals
later than 5 years after starting contributing, all of you withdrawals
would be tax free.

FlagShare2LikeReply
David Wooten Jan 1, 2018
@Kent Webb @David Wooten "If you're being taxed "30%" on your IRA funds,
you must have had the benefit of sheltering it from tax all along. "

Yes, but so what?  Are you suggesting that it's 'unfair' for me not to
pay the 30% tax because I deferred taxes earlier?  The idea is to pay as little taxes as is legally possible.  That means deferring taxes and itemizing deductions when your income is high so you can pay a lower
rate when retired on a lesser income and no deductions.  If you think there's something wrong with that, we have no basis for discussion.

FlagShareLikeReply
Chef Dan George Jan 1, 2018
@David Wooten dumb reason to stay married if you were so unhappy.

FlagShare2LikeReply
Dirk Dolmar Dec 7, 2017
Perspective from biased females. Probably all last born, only child or
only daughters who's husbands couldn't keep up with daddy. Boo Hoo.

FlagShare4LikeReply
Donna Huston Dec 7, 2017
This is a fear mongering article.   Here is a different perspective from
a person who was divorced after 50 and does not regret it.

Fear # 1-Your older children not living at home have their own life and
will get used to it.  why would you stay in a bad situation for them?

Fear #2-Be real and explore the job market first.  duh. Get a job now.

Fear #3-How painful is living in the hell you are in now?  Of course
it's painful.  And worth it. And you will live and be free-er and
happier. (unless you live in the past and rewrite history, etc.) Grow
up.  Life is painful.

Fear #4-Friends?  They are NOT your friends if they bail on you.  Good
to know now and not later when you are in some other painful situation.

Fear #5-Well if you walk away from stuff and don't fight over joint
custody unless your spouse is abusive which of course any amount of
money to save your kids is worth it.  Talk to the lawyer first.  Don't phone them at all or use them as your counselor.

Fear #6-Free is good.  Responsibility is also good for you. Plan ahead.
Find good friends. You will be fine.

People don't die from divorce.  they divorced for a reason.  Most people
do not regret getting divorced.  That is a lie.  Ask your divorced
friends if they regret it or would not do it again.  They may regret not knowing some of this stuff but they are still better off.

I do not regret it.  My kids notice that I am happier and less stressed.
 My real friends have not abandoned me.  I had a job first and
supported him anyway.  It was emotional but not that painful.  I walked away from the house.  We did not fight over custody.  I like being free
to do what I am supposed to do and not worry about someone elses
negative reactions and control.

FlagShare6LikeReply
James Faulkner Dec 7, 2017
@Donna Huston "Fear #2-Be real and explore the job market first.  duh.
Get a job now."

Why would you not have a job in the first place if you needed one?

FlagShare4LikeReply
Jay Alvarez Dec 7, 2017
Divorce worked for me but I should have done it sooner!  The weirdest
thing that happened (for a full year) is that I continued to buy
groceries and prepared meals that only HE liked.  Habits are hard to
break but divorce can be a necessity for those of us whose marriages
are/were misery!

FlagShare3LikeReply
disco dan Dec 7, 2017
Interesting article but I think she left a lot out.  I've heard that
most divorcees would not get a divorce if they had to do it over again.
The easy way out doesn't guarantee happiness and the grass isn't always greener on the other side.  I've been married 20 years and I plan on
staying married for the rest of my life to the same woman.  We've had
our ups and downs but after 20 years am I really going to start over??
You get used to being with the same person and even if you disagree a
lot it's like they are a part of you now.  You get divorced and you rip
out part of yourself, it hurts and you are never the same. A v Jones had
the best advice, try hard to make your marriage work, you'll be happy
you did.

FlagShare7LikeReply
Donna Huston Dec 7, 2017
@disco dan you do not know what you are saying.  Most people do not
regret getting out of hell.  It's not minor disagreement.  It's abuse, control, walking on eggshells, violence, emotional abuse and No love.  I
did not rip anything out of myself.  I separated a bad boil from my
body.  You either have a great woman and are a nice man OR one of you is
a controller and the other one does not mind enough or has been
conditioned to believe that it is the correct way to live.  Think about people and not an institution.  Ups and downs do not apply to what many people are going through.  Starting over is good.  And it doesn't have
to be with another marriage.

FlagShare6LikeReply
disco dan Dec 7, 2017
@Donna Huston @disco dan You took what I said completely out of context
and put words in my statement that I didn't say.  I never said that you should stay in an abusive relationship, no one should ever do that.  You should get far away from someone who is trying to hurt you.  However,
I'm sure most divorces are not because of abuse, quite the contrary,
it's an inconvenience and a bother to put up with someone else.  It's
become way too easy to give up on the marriage and just call it quits.
In the past our parents and grandparents would move heaven and earth
before getting a divorce.  Now it seems that after the first sign of problems people are ready to throw in the towel.  My point was that if you're not getting along, it's worth the time and effort to try to work things out rather then destroying what you have built.

FlagShare5LikeReply
Lodestar Research 3 days ago
Dan referred to a divorce, not "getting out of hell."  You are
distorting his statement for your own agenda.

FlagShareLikeReply
jimmy smith Dec 7, 2017
Where is the male perspective in this story? The usual one-way
journalism as practiced by female writers, and with the usual
slant...women as victims.

FlagShare16LikeReply
Ashley Vaughn Dec 7, 2017
@jimmy smith I was telling myself the same thing. This article should do
a follow up just for the male perspective.  #MGTOW

FlagShare5LikeReply
robert patridge Dec 6, 2017
My first marriage ended with my wife taking off with my former boss. And
in California, that does not matter.  So I got to pay child support,
spousal support, lost my VA financed home, and newer of two cars we had.

After thinking it over back in the day, I found myself waking up at the
time I chose to wake up. I found myself eating when I chose to eat and
had a smile on face that was genuine. It took about a month.  Meanwhile, their relationship (call it hot sex) ended and she wanted to come back
to me.  I said absolutely not, and I started humming a country and
western song that went sorta like, "Thank God She is Gone, Greyhound."
Today, thirty five years later, I still remember my joy to telling her
to get outa my life.

I never looked back and can clearly state from a man's point of view,
kick that wench to the curb.  It will add years of smiles and glee into
your life and make those future women smile too!

FlagShare13LikeReply
Chef Dan George Dec 6, 2017
@robert patridge Been there done that! My ex left me for the house
painter (really). I paid my child support and was able to lump sum my
spousal support. 10 years later, I found the love of my life.... and
right after I got remarried, I inherited ALOT.... so now my current wife
and I travel the world and enjoy our early retirement. My kids barely
speak to my ex. They enjoy the time with my wife and I. The painter left
ex, and she lives alone in someone's guest house with her cats. She's
working as a receptionist in a doctor's office.....Karma is real!

FlagShare8LikeReply
wells anderson Dec 9, 2017
@Chef Dan George @robert patridge - Its hard to live with a human
sometimes - I think my best choice is always the Dog. People with pets
live 10 years longer - Most men die before the women most of the time -
Why?

FlagShare3LikeReply
Chef Dan George Dec 10, 2017
@wells anderson Because they want to......

FlagShare9LikeReply
M Tek Jan 2, 2018
@Chef Dan George @wells anderson  ... LOL ... that's funny :)

Why is divorce so expensive.... because it's WORTH IT !!!!

FlagShare2LikeReply
Catherine B Miller 13 days ago
Then why do guys always complain about the costs?

FlagShareLikeReply
James Faulkner Dec 7, 2017
@robert patridge "And in California, that does not matter.  So I got to
pay child support, spousal support, lost my VA financed home, and newer
of two cars we had. "

Cali is a  strict "community property state" so that sounds like b.s.
Yes it doesn't matter why you got divorced to the state. However, a
50/50 split of all community property assets is mandated so whatever you lost, she lost as well in the sale - unless you two came to an agreement
on division of property.

FlagShareLikeReply
thomas hunt Dec 31, 2017
@robert patridge My divorce lawyer said to me: The best revenge is a
good life.

FlagShare3LikeReply
A v Jones Dec 6, 2017
We are celebrating our 60th wedding aniversary next month with our 14 children, 23 granchildren, and 2 great grandchildren.  Not being careful about who you marry and not working to keep the marriage going is the
biggest mistake a person can make in life.  You get out what you put in
many times over.

Life has been and is good.  Make your marriage work.

FlagShare13LikeReply
Ellen John Dec 6, 2017
Spent over two years of fighting and dreading coming into the house.
Then three years going through a divorce that was acknowledged by my
attorney as being the most dishonest and worst ex-spouse he had seen in
40 years of practice.  Terrible way to destroy an estate, but the
gateway to a great life.

FlagShare4LikeReply
William Gates Dec 6, 2017
Divorce is not cheap so expect to pay out for it for the rest of one's
life and even after that. Take Trump for example. He cheated on his
first two wives and paid out alimony and much more in the settlements. Melanya has plans to divorce him as well, now that she has plenty of
evidence of infidelity. You know what they say about karma. Trump is an
old miserable fool. He needs to resign and move to Moscow so he can see
his only friend, Vladimir Putin, on a daily basis.

FlagShare5LikeReply
Thomas Ham Dec 6, 2017
@William Gates

Get all your talking points in?

FlagShare7LikeReply
Chef Dan George Dec 6, 2017
@William Gates When do you think the Clintons and Obamas will get
divorced? Talk about marriages from he11

FlagShare6LikeReply
jeff lammer Dec 9, 2017
@Chef Dan George @William Gates

Now that Hillary lost, she has no need for Bill anymore.  On the other
hand, people would invite Bill to things that she could still tag along
to.  By herself, she would only be a bitter embarrassment...

Bill would love to be out there once again, or perhaps he is now anyway?

FlagShareLikeReply
Dirk Dolmar Dec 7, 2017
@William Gates Another one that's emotionally insecure and mentally
weak. Still can't get over it, can you? Keep that painful bile going.
You deserve what it gives you.

FlagShare2LikeReply
jerry morhart Dec 8, 2017
@William Gates You know that Melania is planning to divorce Donald? The
only way you could possibly know that is if you were sleeping with her,
which is quite laughable since you don't even know how to spell her
name. You must be one of those people who enjoy inventing gossip and
fake news. You need true facts and evidence before spewing hurtfull
gossip about someone. Just put yourself on the receiving end of some
hurtfull untrue gossip and analize how you would like that.

FlagShare3LikeReply
wells anderson Dec 9, 2017
@William Gates trump more then likely has an iron clad prenup - the
payout was determined prior to marriage. Another good plan form a great
man - your president.

FlagShare2LikeReply
Baron Dean Dec 6, 2017
Oh c'mon, its not what you wish you had known, its what you chose to ignore

FlagShare1LikeReply
Ellen John Dec 10, 2017
@Baron Dean How true.  Several people tried to talk me out of my
disaster.  And I really couldn't say much about the I told you so's.

FlagShareLikeReply
Chef Dan George Dec 6, 2017
Interesting that all of the anecdotes are from women. The men were
probably to happy to care.........

FlagShare8LikeReply
Prag Matic Dec 6, 2017
@Chef Dan George I was recently watching an old Mel Gibson movie (What
Women Want)  with a good line in it:

"What's the difference between a wife and a job? After 10 years a job
still sucks"

FlagShare9LikeReply
Russ Tanner Dec 6, 2017
My ex-wife was too busy being a drunk to show up at the divorce hearing.
I think the felony warrant for her had something to do with that also.

I got everything AND custody of HER teenage child. I later found out
being a single parent to a teen girl had it's own type of hell, lol.

"DAAAADDDDEEEEEI'MONMYPERIODANDNEEDTAMPONS" at 10 pm off to the store to
buy Tampons I go.....

FlagShare4LikeReply
Chef Dan George Dec 6, 2017
@Russ Tanner I remember when I had to first buy tampons for my daughter.
At least I had a lot women co-workers who tipped me off that this might
be an issue.....LOL....

FlagShareLikeReply
Kevin Carey Dec 6, 2017
@Russ Tanner  no wonder why she drank. She was married to an idiot like
you. Grow Up!!

FlagShare1LikeReply
Chef Dan George Dec 6, 2017
@Kevin Carey You really are clueless....

FlagShare6LikeReply
Diane McClaran Dec 6, 2017
I divorced at 41.  It was an uncontested divorce with no children involved.  We went to a DIY divorce center center in San Francisco which wasn't expensive at all.  Basically they file the paper work for you.  I had a good job and reveled in being on my own.  Two months after we
split, I started seeing a wonderful man.  We have been together 24 plus yrs.  We are married and happy.

FlagShare5LikeReply
billy vassiliou Dec 6, 2017
@Diane McClaran   As I was reading your comment, I wanted to dig into
why you sound so positive compared to others on this board.  I stopped
my search after "I had a good job..."  So many people become so
financially dependent on their spouse that divorce gets ugly.  My ex
wasted thousands trying to extract $$$ from me and spent countless hours
in court trying to maximize her time with our kids (more time = more
child support).  She only hurt herself in the process and now the kids
are teens eating her out of house and home.

FlagShare7LikeReply
Ashley Vaughn Dec 7, 2017
@billy vassiliou @Diane McClaran This is why I truly believe in
assortative mating. No need to be with someone just because you depend
on them. Marriage should be a want and if I'm not wanted anymore, then
adios! Oh, not with my things and support though. I can only date
someone seriously now if they have their own money and educated. #MGTOW #Prenups

FlagShare2LikeReply
Brian Morabito Dec 6, 2017
bitter board

FlagShare1LikeReply
thomas hunt Dec 6, 2017
I learned that you should never try to find happiness in the company of another person.  They will eventually betray you and hurt you.

FlagShare4LikeReply
Philip Weisbroat Dec 6, 2017
Celebrating my divorce everyday. The freedom and control over my future
is awesome. Never lonely. This article is nonsense.

Ask the former partners of these lonely people if they miss them,
probably not. Interview both former married people from former married couples!

Divorcing? Best thing ever, it’s what you make it. So much to do without
a lousy legal partner.

Have a great day :)))

FlagShare12LikeReply
billy vassiliou Dec 6, 2017
@Philip Weisbroat  Agree with your sentiments completely.  They
should've interviewed a couple of men, too, to get a broader perspective.

FlagShare7LikeReply
Dan Green Dec 6, 2017
Good article and very true for those of us who have experienced a
divorce. As I looked back, I believe young people should be taught in
college and university, (high school is just too early), the perils of getting married in the first place. Currently stats show 50% of
marriages end in divorce. No stats are available of  the % of couples
who want to split, but hang for their kids, or the % who don't want to
bust up an estate. Most ideals of marriage are myths.

FlagShare6LikeReply
L H Dec 6, 2017
Marriage is an odd thing.  To think that you're going to live and be
happy with a person for 50 or more years.  Really what are the odds of
that?

FlagShare10LikeReply
Felando Thigpen Dec 6, 2017
This articles screams "Stay Single!"

FlagShare12LikeReply
Felando Thigpen Dec 6, 2017
All these are reasons why you should never depend on anyone to help and comfort you.  Peace is an internal thing, support comes from yourself primarily, friends are unreliable.

FlagShare9LikeReply
Sal Gentile Dec 6, 2017
With 50+% of our population divorced at least once I am surprised there
are no comments listed here.

The USA divorce rate is far higher than in many other developed nations.
Part of our problem ___ actually the Biggest part of our problem is our arrogance. Most of us feel we are right and we refuse to be
accommodating or flexible. Like children when our feeling get hurt by
what our spouse says or does __ we rather run off and hide than attempt
to negotiate a deal we can both live Together with.  We quickly forget
our spouse was once the apple of our eye who we were once head over
heels in love with and becomes our bitter and worst enemy because both parties have decided to make war with each other rather than try for
peace. Smart and wiser people are always willing to say "I am sorry"
even when they know they are correct. While arrogant people always think
they are correct even when they are actually wrong.

Saying I am sorry (even when you are correct) is a lot less painful and
less costly (emotionally and financially) than losing that one time Best friend that you married. Growing old alone without someone to share your decades of memories together is no fun. Two people working together can accomplish far more than anyone living alone.

It is far smarter to buy her some flowers and say I am sorry, rather
then being bitter and paying for a divorce ___ which could also be a
path towards poverty.  No matter how we slice the cake ___ Divorce means Failure. And when we are divorced 2 or more times it makes us a habitual failure who rather throw in the towel and quit rather than put in the
time and efforts required to make it work. Forgiveness is a Blessing.

FlagShare6LikeReply
Dan S Dec 6, 2017
@Sal Gentile " Divorce means Failure".     I was with you on all your comments until I hit that phrase.

 People change, viewpoints change, feelings change.  So if I felt love
15 years ago and now I don't feel love for a person anymore...then I'm
now a failure because I don't feel they way I dd 15 years ago?

Ok, you failed to stay together "till death do you part".  But if you
don't feel good and whole in the relationship, then what is the point
for "sticking it out".

I was divorced once when I was 35.  It was a 7 year marriage.  I got remarried in my early 40s.  What I did learn in the divorce was how to
make better choices the second time around.  And I agree that we should fight it out as much as possible and not give up quickly.

You made some good comments above!

FlagShare2LikeReply
Rob Merwin Dec 6, 2017
When men get married they give up two of the biggest things that attract women to them. 1. The control over their money and the ability to buy
and provide for a woman. 2. Their ability to have sex with other women.

It's really designed and set up for failure

FlagShare9LikeReply
billy vassiliou Dec 6, 2017
@Rob Merwin  Marrying up (i.e., marrying someone who is better off, has
more to lose) will solve #1.

#2 is more personal... you're going to want to have sex with other women eventually, you just have to decide for yourself what risks you're
willing to take.

FlagShareLikeReply
Ashley Vaughn Dec 7, 2017
@billy vassiliou @Rob Merwin Men need to "marry up" more now than ever. Unfortunately, there is not an abundance of women that actually have
worth while careers to marry up to. Most go to school and get worthless degrees while accumulating large amounts of school and consumer debt.
I've said in another comment that assortative mating is the only way to
go. Marry someone at your level. If not, MGTOW!!

FlagShare1LikeReply
James Faulkner Dec 7, 2017
@Sal Gentile Sal, again you prove what an ignorant person you are. You
have clearly never been married, but have plenty of opinions on it.

FlagShareLikeReply
Rick Jarvis Dec 31, 2017
@Sal Gentile One reason is Americans are stupid enough to get married
instead of simply living together the way French people do.

FlagShare1LikeReply
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Photographer: Malerapaso/E+ via Getty Images

Rise of ‘Gray’ Divorce Forces Financial Reckoning After 50
Too many women let husbands make the long-term financial decisions,
leaving them vulnerable when separation or death strikes.
By
April 13, 2018, 2:00 AM PDT
For some, it means liberation. For others, loss. For women in
particular, the doubling of the divorce rate for the 50-plus crowd since
the 1990s can mean something far more prosaic: a need to shoulder the
big financial decisions they’d let their spouses deal with when they
were married.

Often, they find some nasty surprises after he’s gone.


A majority of married women—56 percent—still leave major investing and financial planning decisions to their spouse, according to a report,
“Own Your Worth,” released Friday by UBS Global Wealth Management. It’s not just older women slipping into the more traditional gender roles of
their parents: Some 61 percent of millennial women said they leave
investment decisions to their husbands. That compares with 54 percent
for baby boomer women. UBS surveyed more than 600 women who have either
been divorced or widowed within the last five years, along with 1,500
couples. Respondents had to have at least $250,000 in investable assets.


The difference is stark in attitudes toward making major financial
decisions between married women and women who were divorced or widowed. Fifty-nine percent of widows and divorcees regret not taking part in
long-term financial planning when they were in a couple. Eighty-five
percent of married women who weren’t active in making long-term
financial decisions said their spouse knows more about financial issues
than they do. Eighty percent of women said they were content with how
financial responsibilities were split in their marriage.

“Despite all the strides that women have made, they are still abdicating important financial decisions that will profoundly affect their future,”
said Paula Polito, chief strategy officer for UBS Global Wealth
Management, in an email. “Women and divorcees who find themselves alone
wish they had been more involved in finances while they were married.
Nearly all of them advise other women to get more involved early on and
break the cycle of financial abdication.”


Those women practice what they preach. Of the divorced or widowed women
in the survey who remarried, eight out of 10 were more active in the
financial decision-making in their current relationship. (That’s a good
move, since subsequent marriages have a higher rate of dissolving than
do first marriages—and since women have longer life expectancies than men.)

Divorcees may have been burned by financial surprises that popped up in
the split. Fifty-six percent of divorcees and widows discovered new
financial wrinkles in the process of splitting up. Not all were
negative—some women discovered 401(k) retirement saving plans they
didn’t know existed, or were simply surprised at how much they didn’t
know about their finances.

Among the most common negative surprises were hidden spending, hidden
debt and hidden accounts. Outdated wills were another unwelcome
discovery. In hindsight, 94 percent of widows and divorcees would insist
on complete financial transparency with their spouse.

Have personal finance questions or lessons to share? Join Money Talks,
the new Facebook community from Bloomberg News.

— With assistance by Sonali Basak

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2018-04-13/rise-of-gray-divorce-forces-financial-reckoning-after-50

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