XPost: soc.support.depression.family
from
https://www.cnbc.com/2023/03/10/85-year-harvard-happiness-study-found-the-biggest-downside-of-retirement-that-no-one-talks-about.html
An 85-year Harvard study on happiness found the No. 1 retirement
challenge that ‘no one talks about’
Published Fri, Mar 10 202310:09 AM EST
thumbnail
Marc Schulz, Contributor
thumbnail
Robert Waldinger, Contributor
@ROBERTWALDINGER
People who fare the best in retirement find ways to cultivate
connections with others, according to Harvard's 85-year happiness study.
People who fare the best in retirement find ways to cultivate
connections with others, according to Harvard’s 85-year happiness study.Marloes De Vries for CNBC Make It
In 1938, Harvard researchers embarked on a study that continues to this
day to find out: What makes us happy in life?
The researchers gathered health records from 724 people from all over
the world, asking detailed questions about their lives at two-year
intervals.
As participants entered mid- and late-life, the Harvard Study often
asked about retirement. Based on their responses, the No. 1 challenge
people faced in retirement was not being able to replace the social
connections that had sustained them for so long at work.
Retirees don’t miss working, they miss the people
When it comes to retirement, we often stress about things like financial concerns, health problems and caregiving.
But people who fare the best in retirement find ways to cultivate
connections. And yet, almost no one talks about the importance of
developing new sources of meaning and purpose.
One participant, when asked what he missed about being a doctor for
nearly 50 years, answered: “Absolutely nothing about the work itself. I
miss the people and the friendships.”
Leo DeMarco, another participant, had a similar feeling: After he
retired as a high school teacher, he found it hard to stay in touch with
his colleagues.
“I get spiritual sustenance from talking shop. It’s wonderful to help someone acquire skills,” he said. “Teaching young people was what
started my whole process of exploring.”
Taking on hobbies might not be enough
For many of us, work is where we feel that we matter most — to our
workmates, customers, communities, and even to our families — because we
are providing for them.
Henry Keane was abruptly forced into retirement by changes at his
factory. Suddenly he had an abundance of time and energy.
He started volunteering at the American Legion and Veterans of Foreign
Wars. He put time into his hobbies — refinishing furniture and
cross-country skiing. But something was still missing.
“I need to work!” Keane told the researchers at age 65. “Nothing too substantial, but I’m learning that I just love being around people.”
To retire happy, invest in your relationships now
Keane’s realization teaches us an important lesson not only about
retirement, but about work itself: We are often shrouded in financial
concerns and the pressure of deadlines, so we don’t notice how
significant our work relationships are until they’re gone.
Marloes De Vries for CNBC Make It
To create more meaningful connections, ask yourself:
Who are the people I most enjoy working with, and what makes them
valuable to me? Am I appreciating them?
What kinds of connections am I missing that I want more of? How can I
make them happen?
Is there someone I’d like to know better? How can I reach out to them?
If I’m having conflict with a coworker, what can I do to alleviate it?
Who is different from me in some way (thinks differently, comes from a different background, has a different expertise)? What can I learn from
them?
At the end of the day, notice how your experiences might affect your
sense of meaning and purpose. It could be that this influence is, on
balance, a good one. But if not, are there any small changes you can make?
“When I look back,” Ellen Freund, a former university administrator,
told the study in 2006, “I wish I paid more attention to the people and
less to the problems. I loved my job. But I think I was a difficult and impatient boss. I guess, now that you mention it, I wish I got to know
everyone a little better.”
Every workday is an important part of our personal experience, and the
more we enrich it with relationships, the more we benefit. Work, too, is
life.
Robert Waldinger, MD, is a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical
School, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, and director
of Psychodynamic Therapy at Massachusetts General Hospital. He is a
practicing psychiatrist and also a Zen master and author of “The Good Life.” Follow Robert on Twitter @robertwaldinger.
Marc Shulz, PhD, is the associate director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, and a practicing therapist with postdoctoral training in
health and clinical psychology at Harvard Medical School. He is also the
author of “The Good Life.”
Don’t miss:
An 85-year Harvard study found the No. 1 thing that makes us happy in
life: It helps us ‘live longer’
A 67-year-old who ‘un-retired’ shares the biggest retirement challenge ‘that no one talks about’
I’m a psychologist in Finland, the No. 1 happiest country in the
world—here are 3 things we never do
Inside a retiree's $420/month apartment by the beach in Mexico
8:13
Inside a retiree’s $420/month apartment by the beach in Mexico
Want to be smarter and more successful with your money, work & life?
Sign up for our new newsletter here!
--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
* Origin: fsxNet Usenet Gateway (21:1/5)