This story was written by Ali and Lee Felman. I (Damien) am posting it
by permission of the authors.
Listen up! Yes, I mean you!
There's a few things you gotta read before you go on to the story.
First, there's sexually explicit stuff here. If you're not old enough to vote, go on to the next message. Better yet, unsubscribe to this
discussion group. Gwan, kid, shoo! And that goes double if sexually explicit stories are illegal where you are!
Second, this is a work of <u>fiction</u>! No actual people or animals
were
harmed in the writing of this story.
Third, don't try this stuff at home. You could end up dead! Over 200 people a year die playing with asphyxia in the USA. That's not counting
the rest of the world.
Remember, I didn't *make* you read this story. If you think it's badly written, that's one thing. But if you don't like stories about people getting strangled while having sex, don't blame anybody but yourself.
Here's some blank space to give you a chance to skip to the next message. After that, you're on your own.
Summary: This story includes a description of an accidental hanging and several auto-erotic hangings which the narrator barely survives. First
one is NC, the others are Consensual.
My First Times
by Ali
As part of my punishment for my auto-erotic hanging indiscretion Lee has
me
doing at least three more of these first hand experiences. Tonight he suggested I write about how I found that hanging is my ultimate turn-on.
I'm different from most of the women I've met in the hanging scene. The vast majority of these are either submissives or masochists who were introduced to erotic hanging after they had been in their scene for some time, by a lover or master. For the longest time I was the only one I
could find who actually had been turned on by hanging before being introduced to the SM/BD scene.
I had a fairly normal if slightly repressive childhood. I was blissfully unaware of the entire aspect of sex until it became the one only thing to talk about in school. Most of it misinformation. I tried masturbation seriously when I turned 13 but either I couldn't reach orgasm or the end result seemed somehow weak compared to what the rumor mill had said it
would
be.
At thirteen I was tall for my age. Not heavy or skinny. It would be aat my
full
year before my bust would explode. (It's a 38 DD now and I'd settle for
a 36C). My summer was spent in the community, at the local park and
cousins' place. It was popular because of the large pool and pool house where we could all hang out.
We were at the age when there was little acting out sexually at ourages.
A little flirting and a lot of giggling, but nothing overt. We didplay a
lot of games in and out of the pool. A lot of them were war games.
Remember it was just after the Korean war and World War II was still on everyone's mind so we had all sorts of games.
My defining moment came when I was a spy scoping out the enemy's headquartersaround
in the poolhouse. Our headquarters were next door. I was skulking
trying to hear what my three male cousins were planning.
I remember every last detail. I was wearing a short sleeved button front blouse, short tight denim shorts and black low heeled slip-ons. Iwore my
hair cut short that summer due to the heat.
The guys had all sorts of diagrams for their plans they'd been working on spread out on the table. When they went to the house to get a Coke I decided
the time was right. They would never expect me to steal their plans. It just wasn't done.
I heard them leave and waited a minute or so then snuck in. Thetable was
inpicking
the back and there was junk all over. The windows were covered by old venetian
blinds which were partially closed. I got to the table and stated
up all their papers when I heard the door slam.
Not only were my three male cousins back but my two female cousins were
with
them. I had been caught! One of them had seen me sneak in. I looked
around
for a way out but there was only one door.
They debated what to do with me. As a captured spy I couldn't bereleased
without some reciprocity and we had none of them as prisoners. My cousin Jean grabbed some rope from a pile and three of them held me while Iflustered and
kicked
and struggled as she tied my wrists behind my back. Totally
frustrated I sat on a chair and watched them plan their attack. Water ballons. Dozens of them. My friends were in for a very wet attack.
"What do we do with her?", Jean asked pointing to me. "We can't justleave
her here. She'll escape. And there's no place to lock her up."
"We could tie her ankles and gag her," Marsha suggested.
I started to protest vehemently having no desire to spend the afternoon bound
and gagged.
"I have an idea", Billy said, "Lets have her stand on this stool".
There was an 18" milking stool next to the window. Again I struggled but they
muscled me up so I was standing on it. He pulled over a box so he was at the
same height.
Each of the venetian blinds had strong quarter inch line that was used to adjust their height. This ended in a loop so it could be easily grabbed. Before I knew it he had fitted the loop over my head and cinched itaround
my throat.
"There", he said in triumph. "She can't go anywhere. If she stepsoff the
stool she'll hang herself. We can leave her alone now."
Jean and Marsha both looked dubious and I tried to sway them with mypleas
andbe all
promises to not run away, but the three boys convinced them I would
right so off they went.
I yelled and called after them but to no avail. Finally I just tookstock
offind me
my situation. My wrists were snugly tied behind me. The stool was
sturdy.
The loop of cord had a little play in it but not much. I was in no
danger
if I just stood there. My only hope was that one of my team would
and release me before they came back.
As if in answer to my prayer, I heard the door push open.
It was only Winter, my cousin's huge friendly white Samoyed. He was obviously
looking for me since we were good friends and he heard me yelling. I
called
to him and he came over smiling at me.
Then disaster struck.
As was his way, Winter jumped up for a cuddle...bouncing into me
unprepared
and knocking the stool and me over!
I dropped a few inches before the loop of cord jerked tight around myneck
sending a shock through my whole body. I found myself hanging by my neckcutting off
a
good foot off the ground. The cord was thin and bit in deeply
my breath. Terrified I tried desperately to get my wrists free but withsucceeding
no
results. I began to kick trying to get back on the stool, only
in kicking it much farther from me and sending both my shoes flying off.
The lack of oxygen quickly made me light headed and my vision started turning red. I realized later that I succumbed so quickly because the thinness of the cord had allowed it to bite down deeper and quicker and close off my breathing and circulation.
To my amazement I felt a surge beginning in my groin as my lungsseemed to
burst in agony. My last experience was a thundering orgasm and then... blackness.
I awoke in the emergency room with a very sore throat, splittingheadache,
bloody wrists and a nasty rope burn on my neck. Apparently it was Winter whobladder
saved me. His barking and howling brought one of the neighbors who found
me
bound and hanging and cut me down. The doctor estimated that I couldn't have
been hanging more than a few minutes since I hadn't lost bowel and
control.
My cousins were all in terrible trouble but I stayed overnight in the hospital. Late that night I thought again of the sensation of beingbound
and helpless hanging there and the remarkable orgasm that I knew I would have to experience again. I was hooked!
I was forbidden to play with my cousins from then on and became a bitof a
loner. The rope burn around me neck took weeks to heal so I watched TV
and
read. It was during that time that I remember seeing an episode of Peter Gunn that desperately turned me on. It was called "The Chinese Hangman"
and
there was a very pretty blond girl that Peter Gunn fell in love with.
When he
goes to her apartment he finds her hanged. He carefully puts the stool beneath her and finds her stockinged feet dangle a good 5 to 6 inches off its surface.
My fantasies became entwined with hanging and bondage. I read "The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" and imagined what it would have been like to be Esmeralda bound and hanging on the public gallows, kicking for all the
world to see, dying in agony, but secretly having the most immense orgasm ever experienced!
I found an illustrated edition of "The Three Musketeteers" that had a beautiful lithograph of Lady DeWinter being hanged by her husband,
bound hand and foot, breasts exposed, that almost made me faint.
I hunted the libraries for information on public hangings andsuicides but
found little.
I was sure I didn't want to die, but there had to be some way of
replicating
that intense experience.
I experimented with soft materials such as scarves and nylonstockings but
all of them would leave a mark and I was terrified of actually hanging again.
I tried choking myself but that just didn't work. There was something
about
hanging the re bound and helpless, slowly strangling at the end of a rope that
was inexplicable.
I found a pair of play cufflinks in a toy store and hatched a plan. They would give just enough sensation of being bound but still allow me to get loose. I decided to try a "safe" hanging.
I waited for my Mom to go shopping while Dad was at work. I took off
my clothes and put on my pleated skirt and best rayon blouse. I didn't bother with underwear. Just the feeling of not wearing panties under my skirt made me tingle. I got a pair of my mothers good seamed nylons in a dark brown directly out of the box and put them on. They were a little
large and wouldn't stay up, but they felt wonderful on my legs and the
feel of the nylon rubbing back and forth made me feel sexy. Since all my mother wore were panty girdles which looked yucky, I used a couple of
rubber bands as garters.
I used my mothers makeup to inexpertly put on mascara, liner, andblond
lipstick,
and brushed my blond hair out. Now I was dressed like that beautiful
lady in the Peter Gunn episode.
Next I got a hand towel from the bathroom and my mother's longest silk scarf.
I took all these down to the basement where we had a bunch of exposedoff.
pipes
on the ceiling. I got a milk cartoon and turned it upside down below the thickest pipe. I carefully wrapped the towel around my neck holding it in place by tying the scarf around my neck behind my right ear. I pulled
the scarf over the pipe until it felt snug around my neck and tied it
Next I took the handcuffs and snapped them on one wrist. They had a
plastic
key but there was also a button you could push to release them. I snapped them on the other wrist behind me.
Now I stood there and began to feel the excitement grow. I was bound and noosed and about to be hanged. The large Chinese man was going to kickbecame
over the box and leave me dangling! I felt the glow in my groin and
ever more excited.
I moved to the end of the box and experimentally tried to reach thefloor.
I got less than halfway before the scarf tightened to the point that
it pushed my head over on the side. The feeling of it cutting off my circulation and breath was enough to start the wonderful glow coursing through me body. I experimented a half dozen times more feeling more and more sexy closer and closer to orgasm.
I knew I wanted to step off the box, have my orgasm and step back on but
I had to be careful not to kick the box away.
With infinite care I stepped off with my right foot...then my left. I was hanging! All the sensations I longed for were there. The helplessness of being bound. The feeling of the noose cutting off my air and the poundingand my
of
my pulse in my ears as my circulation was impaired. But more than that,
the building orgasm threatening to tear me apart. I waited and waited, willing myself not to kick and push the box away, waiting for the orgasm
to
crest. Finally, unfulfilled I stepped back up. My head was pounding
breath hoarse. I felt like my head was a giant balloon, but I had come so close.
I stood there a few more minutes until I felt close to normal andtried it
again. This time I stayed on the noose longer and almost came, but the graying of my vision and my aching lungs forced me to step back up.
Again I waited and fretted. Even with the towel I was sure I wouldend up
with rope burns again. But I was so close I had to try one more time. I
took
a deep breath and stepped off for the third time.
This time it felt like I was almost floating, weightless. I could still
feel the discomfort from the noose, my lungs aching for air, the pounding
in
my ears, but as I hanged there I knew it would happen. And this time it did!
I was filled with an overwhelming, crashing , thunderous orgasm, which
ebbed
delightfully into darkness.
I awoke on the floor. I had passed out and hanged there until the scarf
had
frayed and finally parted, sending me crashing into a pile of cardboard boxes filled with old linens. These had luckfully cushioned my fall.
My head was aching and my throat was sore, but my entire body was
tingling. I
released my wrists from the handcuffs and found that I had cum so hard
that
the front of my skirt was soaked. It was so wet I thought at first that I had peed yself.
As my daze wore off I realized just how fortunate I was. If the scarf had not parted I would have strangled to death. I could just imagine mymother
finding my hanging body wearing her good nylons, handcuffed and dangling
by her scarf from that pipe.
I immediately resolved never to do something stupid like that again. Unfortunately I was hooked. As bad as any drug addict!
My resolve lasted for a long time. The desire was there but I buried it throwing myself into my school work.
I still avidly went to see and movie or watched any TV show with ahanging
in it. And as I went through High School continued to read all I could about executions and suicide hanging.
My resolve finally broke in my Junior year. My romances in High School
were less than perfect. I was tall, almost 5' 8". In heels that put me
at close to six feet. My breasts had grown so this made me popular.
And I guess I should admit that most of the guys considered me very
pretty and, yes, all the girls hated me. My boyfriend Rex was a jock and
a jerk. We made out in his car and his hands were always all over me.
But there was no thought of going all the way. So I was more and more frustrated. You see, ever since that day in the basement I had not been
able to orgasm. Masturbation didn't do it. Even fantasizing of hanging
just
brought me close. I tried some simple strangulation and asphyxia using plastic bags but nothing worked. Finally one Sunday afternoon I had had enough. I was distracted to the point that I couldn't study for my
geometry
final. With my parents out of the house I decided to try another "safe" hanging.
I had now seen dozens off hanging scenes in movies and read countless accounts of hangings in fact and fiction. Three books stood out in my
mind,
as much for the lurid covers as their content. The first was "I'll Bury
My Dead", by James Hadley Chase. It's cover featured a beautiful brunette from the bust up hanged overa door by a red scarf. The second was "The
Deeds
of Dr. Deadcert", by Joan Fleming. This featured another lovely brunette,
in an empire waisted nightgown being hanged by a man with a rope.
The last was the best. It was called "Turn Blue You Murderers" by Michael Brett and on its cover was a photo of a pretty nude girl hanging from a clothes bar in a closet by a belt.
The last was the basis of my current fantasy. This time I didn't bothermothers old
with
clothes but stripped completely nude. I was still drawn to a pair of stockings from my first time and had secreted away a box of my
black seamed stockings before she threw them out, since now we only wore pantyhose. I knew that one day I would want to put them on but also knew that rubber bands and panty girdles were not going to work, so I hadfound
a black garter belt at a thrift store for a quarter and this was hidden
away too.
Putting on the garter belt was easy. Getting the black seamed stockings
on so the seams were relatively straight was a real problem. This was obviously a learned skill. Still after a few tries they were on and
snugly gartered. I admired myself in the mirror. They were old fashioned
but felt so different from pantyhose and so sexy.
This time I was better prepared. I had made a space in my closet and
instead of a box or stool I had made a pile of books, three of them.
They each were very thick and the pile was a good 8 to 10 inches tall.
My first experience had taught me that the towel was the right padding
since
I had hanged myself and suffered no friction burns on my neck so I used
it
again. But this time, instead of a scarf I used the thick belt from my velour robe.
So there I was, ready to hang myself in my closet wearing nothing but a garter belt and stockings and it dawned on me that I hadn't thought about how to bind my wrists. I solved this with the canvass belt from my oldlearn for
girl
scout uniform (Only reason I joined the scouts was to learn how to tie a hangman's noose but it wasn't taught in our knot class. I had to
myself).
I started by standing on the books and assuring they were sturdy. By perching on my stockinged toes the back of my neck was just a littleunder
the clothes bar. I slipped the velour belt around my throat and over the bar then back down and tied it snugly in front. I was now cinched uptight
enough that I couldn't rest on my heels at all. I put my wrists behind me and looped the closed belt around them taking up the slack with one hand while holding it with the other. I got it fairly tight. Just tight enough for the sensation but reasonably sure I could wiggle free. Then I took stock.
I had closed the door to the closet and turned on the light. Across fromgirl
me was my full length door mirror. The image I saw was a lovely blond
with full breasts, slim waist, and long legs, clad in a garter belt and black seamed nylons, wrists bound behind her, up on her toes noosedto the
clothes bar.
I immediately felt my orgasm begin to build. As it began to crest I slid
my toes off the books so they pointed down on either side. The belt gave
a little so I dropped an inch or so, but I was definitely hanging a good
six inches off the floor. All the familiar sensations cascaded in and I
was rewarded with a massive rgasm that shook me to the core.
Utterly spent I stepped back on the books. I was shocked I couldn't have been hanging for more than a few seconds and I had had a massive orgasm.
Back on the books the belt had loosened and I was relatively comfortable again.
I stood there on my toes and took stock again. Was it that easy?
I resolved to wait a few minutes and try it again.
This time, as I slid off the books I watched myself in the mirror. The
way
my neck lengthened, the strain the noose put on my upper shoulders.
How hard my nipples were. The gleam of cum on my pubic hairs and how
long and sexy my legs looked in those garters and black nylons.
It took much longer this time. By the time the orgasm came I was light headed, but it was the equal of the first. I stepped back up on the
books and breathed deep.
This whole thing had taken less than an hour from the time I decided to
try
it. And the orgasms were wonderful!
A part of me said that two was enough but a stronger part wanted at least one more. I waited a few minutes for my head to clear and stepped off
again.
I watched myself closely for as long as I could. The orgasm was even
slower
to build the third time and I felt that familiar floating sensation along with the desperate need to catch my breath. As my vision started to
dim finally I had a thundering orgasm, far more powerful than either of
the first two.
Languidly I brought my toes back up on the books and started to take
the pressure off my now very sore and abused neck when there was a sudden loud cracking noise.
The next thing I knew I came crashing forward and was sideways on the
floor. The clothes bar had pulled away from all its supports. It was fortunate that I hadn't latched the closet door or else I would have smashed into the mirror and probably ended up with thousands of cuts, not
to mention brain damage. As it was, I had a very sore shoulder and hip
from where I hit. My head hurt. My throat was sore, but that electric
tingle still coursed through my body.
I knew for sure that I would have to hang again if I wanted that intense
an orgasm again. I made plans for my next hanging when my parents would
be out of town next week.
During the week I found a store that had all sorts of police gear and
bought an expensive pair of handcuffs. The owner looked at me with a leer but I ignored him and paid cash.
Next I decided to find the perfect rope because this time I knew I would have to try an actual hangman's noose. Just the thought of it cinching around my neck made my nipples hard.
The yellow pages, under rope, indicated that there was a store in the
marina that specialized in all forms of lines, ropes and hawsers. There
was the first time I found the beautiful thick yacht braid. It took most
all my available cash but I bought 20 feet of one inch soft braid. The
man
at the store was kind enough to wrap the ends for me. I was as ready as
any prospective hanging victim could be.
Finally I stopped at our local hardware store and bought a screw-in hook. The kind that's used to hang plants. The man there showed me how touse a
screwdriver to muscle it in after it was started.
I had what I thought was the perfect plan. I would tie the rope to the
hook using a slip knot (the old girlscout training again) and when I had
had
enough, jerk it loose.
All week I practiced tying slip knots and jerking them free. I was sure
I had it down.
That weekend I passed up a visit of my aunt. And as soon as I was sure my parent s were long gone began my preparations in earnest.
First I went down to the basement and, standing on the three legged stoolnoose.
I would use for my hanging, screwed the hook into an overhead beam.
Next I took a long bath and brushed my hair carefully, tying it in a pony tail behind me so there was no chance a stray strand would foul the
I indulged myself in a full and long makeup session topping it off with a sinfully Marilyn Monroe red lipstick.
Now I was completely nude and it was time to don my lingerie. I waslittle
dubious of my garterbelt. It was beginning to see better days. Ipracticing
promised myself that I would treat myself to a new an sexier one soon.
Then on with those silky smooth black seamed nylons. I had been
and it only took me two tries to get the seams straight.
Now I got all my goodies together and retired to the basement for some serious rope dancing. I was incredibly excited. For the first time Icould
kick and struggle as much as I wanted and not worry about tippingover the
stool because I wouldn't be needing it.
I started by tying the one inch yacht braid into a traditional thirteenso I
turn hangman's noose. By all rights I should have lubricated the rope
but I wasn't going to use a drop so and wasn't interested in it cinching down too quickly. Next I put an old full length mirror across from me
could have the thrill of watch ing myself hang.
Before mounting the stool I snapped the handcuffs on my left wrist,band
careful
to make sure the key was in the lock. The spare key I tucked into the
of my garter belt behind me.
I climbed up on the stool and looped the rope over the hook about 18
inches above me. Then I had the most incredibly exciting time dropping
the noose over my head and cinching it down. I had read a number of conflicting articles on where the knot should be placed but to me it sounded like behind the right ear was correct.
I grasped the free end and took up the slack. The noose was veryheavy and
as it tightened I felt it tip my head to the left. Once I had all the
slack out I debated standing on my toes. I decided it was the only way I could be sure there would be virtually no drop so I pulled myself up on tiptoe. Satisfied that I could go no further I tied the rope to the hook with a slip knot, drawing the loop down so it wouldn't take more than a
six inch tug to loosen it.
Taking a deep shuddering breath I put my wrists behind me and snapped the handcuffs on my wrists. The first thing I did was check the keys and be sure I could get to them. Then I felt behind me and grabbed the rope.
This firmly in hand I was ready.
I knew I was taking quite a chance using a hangman's noose. There was the chance that it would tighten too tightly and even though I could get the rope to release, it could strangle me before I could get my hands free
and loosen it. My experiments gave me confidence that this wouldn't
happen.
I had fashioned the knot so it wouldn't cinch down and this gave me a measure of safety.
Now I was ready. Again I looked at the pretty girl in the mirror, nude
but for her black garter belt and stockings, noosed and ready for
execution. My nipples were so hard they felt like they would burst and I could feel the fluids leaking from my vagina.
I took a deep breath and kicked the stool away.
Immediately I realized I had made a serious mistake. In my hurry I had forgot the padding for my neck! As the noose bit in I realized to my
dismay that I would have a serious rope burn to contend with. I
considered releasing myself right then but realized that the worst has already been done so I might as well enjoy the ride.
I felt weightless and free as I kicked on the rope. I had never been able
to dance and spin the way I dangled that day. I scissored my legs then dropped them straight down, luxuriating in the knowledge that my
stockinged toes twisted a good 18" off the floor.
As my breath gave out and my pulse started to pound in my ears I felt my orgasm begin to rise. I was a helpless bound and naked slut dangling on
the gallows for all the world to see, naked and cumming, unashamed of her agony and suffering. Then a huge orgasm ripped through me and I dangled limply.
Utterly spent I grasped the rope firmly with both hands and tugged.
Nothing! No give whatsoever!! This was impossible. I had tied and
released the slip knot 20 times over the last week.
As I began to gray out I kicked desperately and tugged with all my might
on the rope but to no avail. I felt the tears on my cheeks and felt the noose
push my head further and further to the left as it tightened down choking the last ebb of life from my desperately kicking body. Finally my hands lost strength and my last thought, as everything turned red, was why?
Again I awoke on the floor. This time my head pounded so badly I
thought it would split. I could barely breath! Then I realized this was because the noose was still tightly cinched around my throat. For a short while I desperately fought to get my wrists free. Then I remembered the
key and thankfully found it still in the lock. It took me six attempts to turn it. Something I had done first time out previously.
My wrists free I tore the noose loose and sat there sobbing. I was lying
in a pool of my own fluids. I had no idea how long I hanged but it was
long
enough to lose control. I looked up at the hook. That was what had saved
me.
My weight kicking and struggling had finally loosed it and had pulled it from the beam. I guess I hadn't tightened it, thank God. as much as I thought.
I dazedly checked the slipknot. There had just been too much weight on it and I wasn't strong enough to pull it through. That mistake had almost killed me!
I dragged my self to the mirror. My entire left side. where I fell was sore. But that wasn't the worst part. My face looked like I had asunburn!
I later found out that the slow strangulation from the noose had burst
100's of blood vessels in the skin. My eyes were horribly bloodshot.
Worst of all I had a bright red rope burn one inch wide all around my
neck.
On top of that I had run my beautiful black nylons in a dozen places completely ruining them.
A week or two of scarves, heavy makeup, sunglasses and anything else I
could do to hide myself followed. I forswore hangings until I could make them safe.
I read voraciously and came across the phenomena of auto-erotic asphyxia
and realized that this was close to my obsession. I also realized that psychology couldn't be right because it supposedly only happened in men
and boys and transvestites at that.
In college I took abnormal psych classes and researched every item on
erotic hanging and auto erotic asphyxia in the vast library archives. Finally I found three references to women who had been auto-erotic
hanging victims. I was not alone!
I have other experiences, prior to meeting Lee, which may be of interest
but this is long enough as is, so they will wait for another time.
===========================================================
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