I didn't consciously surrender my heart. It just caused me so much anguish that it closed down. Unfaithful romances, outrage from abuse and so forth.
It was captured into heaven for analysis, and little by little finding my
way back to it in heaven; or pulling heaven out of the sky in
accountability. One day one thing. The next day the next. It never turns
out my way or their way, but a better way; and the journey continues.
I may conjecture about it, but ultimately I have no control over the matter. The duplicate imprint of my anguish is being dissected and the remedy to
what caused it administered back into the world again in an unending train
of love, peace and goodwill the world about; until that healing of circumstances makes its way back to healing me in the end, the end of which never arrives. That is the sacrifice that's been required of me. Every day maybe a little better, or a series of one step forward and two steps back.