On Tuesday, October 25, 2022 at 10:15:22 PM UTC-5, Chadlee Anvil Bryant wrote:

Chadlee Anvil Bryant asks:

Delicate matter. My boyfriend and I both enjoy anal sex - that isn't
the problem. He also tells me that he likes the smell of my anus (I
should point out that this is after I've bathed - nothing to do with
feces). When I masturbate I too like the scent of my anus but to hear
him say it made me feel embarrassed. I told a friend, but she just
said it was perverted and weird and reckons I should tell him that. I
know sex is a personal matter, but am I that unusual?

Annaliese Werner replies:

You know, even if it DID or does have to do with feces and the scent
of feces it'd not be anything to be ashamed of.

Really, your friend is being a dope. If we know anything about human sexuality, we know that what's most normal is difference and variance,
and that it's exceptionally difficult to be able to say, with any
authority, that nearly ANY sexual behaviour or preference is "weird."
Even the word "perverted" is arbitrary: it's always about what's seen
as normal or abnormal by a given person's standards, which are often subjective. Not that long ago, oral sex was considered perverse by a
great portion of the population, for instance, but about the same
number of people would consider it very normal now, even though the
practice itself hasn't changed in any way.

There's nothing wrong or unusual about finding the anus erotic or
anything related to it: it's part of your genitals, and most people
eroticize the genitals. In fact, we could almost say that it'd be
pretty unusual or tough to explain why somehow the anus sometimes gets excepted from the genitalia in terms of the erotic, when it's so
clearly part of that anatomy. On the other hand, plenty of people are
put off by the anus because of fecal matter, perhaps because we think
of what comes from our anuses and rectums as waste (though folks who
use composting toilets certainly disagree), and so associate it with sickness, rot or death in some way, and thus, feel uncomfortable about
it. Too, a lot of people have grown up with a lot of shame about their bottoms.

Point is, these options are really very personal, and vary an awful
lot, and it's not very helpful to know if someone who isn't us or our
sexual partners feels they're "normal" or "perverted." For sure, we
want to be concerned with if things we're doing are safe, and with if
what we enjoy for ourselves is doing harm to us or someone else, but
since there's absolutely no way you and your partner enjoying each
other's anuses and the normal scent of your bodies could do you or
anyone else harm (so long as you're being smart about safer sex and
the like when you're doing more than just sniffing about), that's
pretty moot, here. You know YOU enjoy this and you know your partner
enjoys this too -- since you also know that enjoyment does no one any
harm, you know all you need to from who you need to.

Most studies done on the subject of anal eroticism of late show that
it's anything but abnormal: a recent CDC study reported almost 90% of homosexuall men engaging in some form of anal sex, and and just over
30% of women. Since sex is a multi-sensory experience, we can safely
include enjoying the appearance, scent, taste or feel of the anus in
the anal sex people are having.

You're unusual, Chad. And coming from someone who finds herself
immersed in work with a lot of people with a lot of negative feelings
about their bodies, their functions, and the way they look, feel,
taste and smell, not only do I think there's no reason for you to feel
funny about this, I think that it's absolutely fantastic you and your
partner are able to enjoy the way any part of you smells.

Hi there, "Jon D. Young".
Still with the obsession of anal sex?

Why do you feel the need to hide behind so many nyms, "Jon"?
Are you that insecure?
Free yourself from your insecurities.
You'll be much happier and more productive in your life.
I'm here for you, as always.

--
Dr. Auric D. Hellman
adhe...@gmail.com

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