*************** GREAT OPPORTUNITY ***********************
***** EARN THE BIG BUCKS ********************************
************** GET A LIFE *******************************
At Lightner Associates we make these dreams a reality for
thousands of post-doctoral researchers every year through a
patented process known as Ph.D. expungement.
For a limited time Lightner Associates is offering our
exclusive PH.D. EXPUNGING SERVICE for a special LOW LOW PRICE
only to members of Leftist Leaning Underground Electronic
Networks of Whiners, Pulers, and others who should be spending
more time at the lab bench (L.L.U.E.N.o.W.P.&O. aka YSN, NES).
Our BASIC PH.D. EXPUNGING SERVICE includes:
-creation of a false employment history at a now defunct
biotech or defense contracting firm.
-fabrication of business cards for said firm.
-our special total"CV" ---> "Resume" re-engineering...
** INCLUDING ***
-descriptive job responsibilities which
bear some rational relationship to your
expertise.
-plausible training and professional experiences
which explain your computer fluency with MAC,
WINDOWS, PCs, UNIX, and your ownership of an RPN
calculator.
-Our specially trained staff of Human Resource
Administrator Impersonators and a 3 month
subscription to our "refusal to provide
references due to liability" service (Most real
employers no longer give references of any
meaning because they are afraid to get sued).
AND FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY FOR SUBSCRIBERS OF
L.L.U.E.N.o.W.P.&O. ::
FREE POWER WORDS !!!!
All for the low, low price of $1500.00 US / PH.D. (+
$500 US / year for post-doctoral experience > 3 years. (While
this may seem a bit high we've observed that only people who
truly want to have their Ph.D. (s) expunged are finally
successful and this small token of financial commitment weeds out
those who secretly wish to be tenured research professors)
Lightner Associates also has a trained staff of
psychologists and psychiatrists who for a small additional fee
can provide intensive therapeutic services to treat problems
like...
1. Independent thinking.
2. Problem Solving and Analytical Skills.
3. Nervousness around beautiful people.
4. Inability to work and play well with others.
5. Pointing out the flaws in others reasoning.
6. Uncontrollable outbursts of laughter when
hearing others use POWER WORDS.
Our staff can also provide help with problems related to
wardrobe and hair-styling (or lack thereof).
A REAL LIFE CAN STILL BE YOURS !!!
Call Today for a free consultation:
1-555-12NoPHD
***************************************************************
FOR ALL YOUR PH.D. EXPUNGING NEEDS REMEMBER...
LIGHTNER ASSOCIATES...
serving the overqualified since 1996.
***************************************************************
-------------------
Source: unknown Internet hero
this is my work from bitter post doc phase...
about every decade I get nostalgic and try to see if YSN, where this was first posted, survives... it seems in some respects it's in cold storage somehow in the googleverse...
On Tuesday, January 2, 2001 at 11:18:54 AM UTC-6, clarosa wrote:
*************** GREAT OPPORTUNITY ***********************
***** EARN THE BIG BUCKS ********************************
************** GET A LIFE *******************************
At Lightner Associates we make these dreams a reality for
thousands of post-doctoral researchers every year through a
patented process known as Ph.D. expungement.
For a limited time Lightner Associates is offering our
exclusive PH.D. EXPUNGING SERVICE for a special LOW LOW PRICE
only to members of Leftist Leaning Underground Electronic
Networks of Whiners, Pulers, and others who should be spending
more time at the lab bench (L.L.U.E.N.o.W.P.&O. aka YSN, NES).
Our BASIC PH.D. EXPUNGING SERVICE includes:
-creation of a false employment history at a now defunct
biotech or defense contracting firm.
-fabrication of business cards for said firm.
-our special total"CV" ---> "Resume" re-engineering...
** INCLUDING ***
-descriptive job responsibilities which
bear some rational relationship to your
expertise.
-plausible training and professional experiences
which explain your computer fluency with MAC,
WINDOWS, PCs, UNIX, and your ownership of an RPN
calculator.
-Our specially trained staff of Human Resource
Administrator Impersonators and a 3 month
subscription to our "refusal to provide
references due to liability" service (Most real
employers no longer give references of any
meaning because they are afraid to get sued).
AND FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY FOR SUBSCRIBERS OF
L.L.U.E.N.o.W.P.&O. ::
FREE POWER WORDS !!!!
All for the low, low price of $1500.00 US / PH.D. (+
$500 US / year for post-doctoral experience > 3 years. (While
this may seem a bit high we've observed that only people who
truly want to have their Ph.D. (s) expunged are finally
successful and this small token of financial commitment weeds out
those who secretly wish to be tenured research professors)
Lightner Associates also has a trained staff of
psychologists and psychiatrists who for a small additional fee
can provide intensive therapeutic services to treat problems
like...
1. Independent thinking.
2. Problem Solving and Analytical Skills.
3. Nervousness around beautiful people.
4. Inability to work and play well with others.
5. Pointing out the flaws in others reasoning.
6. Uncontrollable outbursts of laughter when
hearing others use POWER WORDS.
Our staff can also provide help with problems related to
wardrobe and hair-styling (or lack thereof).
A REAL LIFE CAN STILL BE YOURS !!!
Call Today for a free consultation:
1-555-12NoPHD
***************************************************************
FOR ALL YOUR PH.D. EXPUNGING NEEDS REMEMBER...
LIGHTNER ASSOCIATES...
serving the overqualified since 1996.
***************************************************************
-------------------
Source: unknown Internet hero
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