I have written a few times before of my hope that I will come out of my low/wilderness years and achieve awakening/enlightenment, like the Buddha did at the end of his seven ascetic years. I have said that I expect this awakening/enlightenment to consist of sustained productive creativity and mental stability, allowing me to taper off my medication without experiencing adverse effects.
I think I have briefly come out of the low years twice before, once one early evening when I was visiting Vancouver in September 2004, and once one New Year’s Eve a few years ago here in St. John’s. In both cases I experienced a feeling of luminous clarity, and it wasn’t similar to my waning crescent highs.
I have three types of awakening so far:
1. my waning crescent highs (inspiration/call)
2. release from my waxing gibbous moon trials by full moon
3. the above-mentioned two brief incidents.
But anyway, while medication has eased my way, it seems that it has delayed the final awakening/enlightenment since most past figures similar to me had only seven years of low years, a few had 14 years, and I have gone 22.78 years so far. If an 11 year sunspot cycle variation holds, I might come out of the low years 11 years after the 14 years, so 2.22 more years, or 22 years after the 7 years, or 6.22 more years. But I hope it will be sooner than 2.22 more years.
However, note that while my low years were quite bad in 1996 and 1997, these days they are not very low except in terms of creativity while I am on my current medication regimen of 1250 mg divalproex sodium and 7.5 mg of olanzapine nightly and am abstaining from alcohol 1--9 days before full moon and from marijuana during all of waxing moon, and am not blindly believing perineum click divination, though I still play at it.
I have written a few times before of my hope that I will come out of my low/wilderness years and achieve awakening/enlightenment, like the Buddha
did
at the end of his seven ascetic years. I have said that I expect this awakening/enlightenment to consist of sustained productive creativity and mental stability, allowing me to taper off my medication without
experiencing
adverse effects.
I think I have briefly come out of the low years twice before, once one
early
evening when I was visiting Vancouver in September 2004, and once one New Year’s Eve a few years ago here in St. John’s. In both cases I experienced a feeling of luminous clarity, and it wasn’t similar to my waning crescent highs.
I have three types of awakening so far:
1. my waning crescent highs (inspiration/call)
2. release from my waxing gibbous moon trials by full moon
3. the above-mentioned two brief incidents.
But anyway, while medication has eased my way, it seems that it has
delayed
the final awakening/enlightenment since most past figures similar to me
had
only seven years of low years, a few had 14 years, and I have gone 22.78 years so far. If an 11 year sunspot cycle variation holds, I might come
out
of the low years 11 years after the 14 years, so 2.22 more years, or 22
years
after the 7 years, or 6.22 more years. But I hope it will be sooner than
2.22
more years.
However, note that while my low years were quite bad in 1996 and 1997,
these
days they are not very low except in terms of creativity while I am on my current medication regimen of 1250 mg divalproex sodium and 7.5 mg of olanzapine nightly and am abstaining from alcohol 1--9 days before full
moon
and from marijuana during all of waxing moon, and am not blindly believing perineum click divination, though I still play at it.
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