• Monster in a Box, Rock Monster, and Lightseed ~ by Hunter Reon Barnes

    From magizian@gmail.com@21:1/5 to All on Tue Aug 9 15:08:38 2016
    Introducing "Monster in a Box ~ by Hunter Reon Barnes"
    (do it yourself organogenesis kit)
    ... ONLY $9,999.95 ... kit includes:
    * plastic snapware box
    * bottle of mass amino complex (does not include thymine or uricil)
    * bottle of pure water
    * bottle of thymine (isolated)
    * bottle of uricil (isolated)
    * small container of apple cider vinegar (for electricity if growing monster without light)
    **(package is 100% dna/rna/protein free)
    ...simply mix everything together in the bucket dropping a few drips of thymine and uricil in opposing corners of the box.
    ** varience of organic life generated and ribosome specifics dependent upon environmental condition.
    ..and if anyone actually starts buying these..
    Available Monster in a Box expansion packs (100% dna/rna/protien free):
    * skeletal boost ~ $497.95
    * brains w/beating hearts cerebro/nerve boost ~ $787.95
    * protomuscular boost ~ $1,200
    * riboxyimmuno boost ~ $400
    ..and of course...
    Available Monster in a Box cheat mods (contain trace dna/rna/protien):
    * 1cc plantmonster mod #1 (bird piss formula) ~ $430
    * 1cc plantmonster mod #2 (fish piss formula) ~ $40
    * 3mg plantmonster mod #3 (wormpoo formula) ~ $60
    * 300mg meatmonster mod #1 (slimjim formula) ~ $1,200
    * 250mg meatmonster mod #2 (intellifreak formula) ~ $3,400
    ** generating organic life that has to understand reality or think to any extent may be illegal in some states *** , ..but there isn't a single individual in those states actually complient.
    **** Monster in a Box, Expansion Packs, and Cheat Mods are intended for educational and entertainment purposes (non-industrial/commercial) only, etc... all rights reserved.
    ,,,, ^.,.^ ,,,,
    — \-v~/ —
    Rock Monster ~ by Hunter Reon Barnes
    -- (do-it-yourself mineral life to precious metal kit)
    While there are many grow your own crystal kits and such like so.. there is nothing else quite like Rock Monster.
    Rock Monster kit includes:
    * a snapware box
    * a bottle of liquid mineral formula
    * a bottle of pure water
    * a small bottle of either free-electrolyte or hydrogen peroxide
    * either 1 or 2 packets of dry mineral formula
    * easy instructions
    Rock Monster's cost is the base price of $12,500
    plus one of the following Rockmonster packs:
    * copper ~ $350
    * zinc ~ $400
    * ni ~ $325
    * tin ~ $425
    * silver ~ $725
    * silver oxide ~ $625
    * gold ~ $3,000
    * PGMs (platinum, paladium, osmium, irridium, rhodium, and ruthenium) ~ $7,500 * sparkle (silver, gold, and PGMs) ~ $6,250
    * blinger (gold, PGMS, and water-soluable diamond) ~ $17,025
    * richie coral (dazzling never before seen reef of natural corals, minerals, and precious with a trace of plant and animal life inside) ~ $75,000
    * randomic (a colorful mix of mineral, crystal, metal, and gem for a one of a kind rock of art) $65,000
    *** unlike Monster in a Box, Rock Monster is completely unedible and could be fatal if swallowed,.. other than that it's pretty safe.
    Lightseed ~ by Hunter Reon Barnes
    Lightseed is a postmortal nihilincineration policy.
    Travel at the speed of light as a beam of light in a beam of light to a galaxy far far away, for the low price of ONLY $4,786.60 per person/pet. **
    **Light actualy isn't a material, light is a relative bandwidth of velocity. Light = The speed of Light.
    The Lightspeed process:
    * encasement of postmortal remaining in pure watersoluable diamond.
    * positioning of lightspeed chamber in earth's shadow away from the sun towards the outer rim in your choice of either @ 12 to 14 degrees north/galactic~up or @ -12 to -14 degrees north/galactic~down.
    * quick nihilincineration at well above 5,750 degrees färenheit.
    * gravity eventually makes you a part of something else in a galaxy far far away from this one.
    * options for storage of your cubes at nominal fees to allow for group travel or timed expeditions. ~ magizian at gmail

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