A recent graduate of Burt's School of Paleoanthropology
and Small Engine Repair, Pandora boasts of being within
the top 98% of students in his class.

"I worked hard, ate a lot of paste but in the end I stopped
doubting anything my professors or parole officer told me.
If I had it all to do over again," he added. "I probably would
not have stuck my tongue inside that light socket."

Balancing the demands of his career at Starbucks, his
school work and the limitations of various restraining
orders, academic success did not come easily to Pandora,
especially considering that he could not afford any useful
bribes.

"I offered my body in exchange for a few good grades," he
related. "But, apparently I smell pretty bad in addition to
being this ugly. And," he further explained, "Being this
obnoxious meant people didn't want to be around me."

Before saying our good-byes to Pandora, something we
looked forward to in no small way, we asked if he could
extend any advice to would be paleoanthropology students.

"Get a lobotomy," he said. "You don't want to do too much
thinking, and by that I mean none at all. And stop wasting
time trying to figure out how to breath through your nose,
or pee without staining your socks yellow," he added. "Those
sort of things won't help you, and may even alienate you
from other paleoanthropologist who'll see it as a declaration
of superiority."

With his advice in hand we bid Pandora farewell and
expressed our sympathies over his state of mental health.






-- --

https://jtem.tumblr.com/post/721666107169292289

--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
* Origin: fsxNet Usenet Gateway (21:1/5)