Trip Report: Indiana Beach
Monticello, IN
June 6, 2021

“She’s looking mighty fine for a park that was pronounced dead!”

When last we checked in on our carpool of coaster crazies, they had just celebrated Dave’s birthday and from sheer exhaustion were soon headed to bed.

The day after Holiwood Nights. Call it the Holiwood Nights Coma or the Holiwood Nights Hangover. It’s that part of the weekend that you really start to realize you aren’t that 33 year old you were when Voyage first opened, nor the 26 year old you
were when you first started doing this crazy weekend. This is when adulting goes to the wayside. Yes, I know what park we are going to today, Yes I have a general idea of how long it’s going to take to get there, yes I know what time the park closes,
yes, I realize that we are in the wrong time zone. Yes I realize we should be on the road by 8am. Shut Up You, I’m hitting this snooze bar as long as I can.

One difference between a hotel and a cabin. At a hotel, you do as much as you can the night before, then you just wake up, throw on your pre laid out clothes, toss your nightwear into a bag, haul bag out to car, zip past the lobby for a quick breakfast
and to check out and you are on the road.
How this works in a cabin. You wake up, you get dressed, you cook breakfast in the cabin, you eat breakfast. Then you start the chores. Dishes, and do everything to restore the kitchen to the way you found it. This means not only hauling out luggage
but also clearing the pantry and either taking the left overs (which was a lot of what we brought) with you, or discarding what you can’t. Stripping all the linens off the beds and tossing all that in the bathtub per the owners request. Do a cursory
cleaning of the cabin, hauling out the trash. You know the Scouts creed, leave the place as good as if not better than you received it.

Therefore, it should come to no surprise that we pushed the 11am check out to its very breaking point, what did surprise us was we learned the place is 5 years old, it looks so brand new. Through the magic of the time zone system, we exit the resort,
drive just a few miles and we lose an hour just like that, gone. We end up getting gas, Tony’s smokes and other goodies at the same gas station where we finally gave up last night. Hey, that drive was useful, we knew who had the best price. Then we
start the long journey to Indiana Beach, one where I admit I slept a good deal of the way. I was talkative for spurts but for the most part. Reality came setting in when we pulled off the road for a rest area. It was an adequate facility that was a
museum of different fixtures. I think they take the “If it ain’t broke, don’t replace it” strategy. The bolt of realization was when my body clock and compass thought we must be nearing the park, and I see the gang hovered over a big display
case with a map. The you are here tells me we haven’t even gotten to Indianapolis yet!

Indiana Beach is also one of those parks that predates in interstate system, and when we reach the exit, Dave informs me, chill we still have 30-40 miles to go. Lastly, its one of those parks that hides itself very well. Coming in as we did, you don’t
see the lake, and you just see a parking lot off the side of the road. A modest non descript sign indicates this is parking for Indiana Beach. We pull into the free parking lot, head up to the front, okay the front row or two are for season pass holders,
so in usual Indiana Beach tradition we park in the third row. Then after much delay we finally get everybody over to the ticket cages and look at our options. A day ticket is $40 ($35 if you are a local resident) and the season pass is $65. WE inquire
about starlight or evening admission, no such deal, but we did have a ticket person that would offer us the locals rate. WE look at hour watches 5:30 or so with an 8pm close. It’s not an Ideal way to do Ideal Beach, but, given my past history and how I
get round, “I’ll take what I can get” WE also learn that neither of the two rides for 2021 are ready yet. Well, we kind of knew the coaster was slated for July, and looking at it, I think that’s optimistic. We decide to gamble on the fact that
we will all want to come back here after the coaster is open, and all get season passes. If not, it’s not the first time I’ve lost at gambling, nor the first time I took a bath on a season pass. Try the Kentucky Kingdom Black Friday flash sale one
year, passes marked down to $30, I snagged one. Guess what was, I think, the only year I didn’t go to Kentucky Kingdom (or a Six Flags park).

Passes purchased, they put wristbands on our arms (this is their version of a temporary pass) and we head to one of my favorite park entrances. We head down a trail into the woods, and when we come out of the woods, we are at the lake, we gaze across the
lake, and you get a vision of what Pinochio must have seen when he first saw Pleasure Island. There across the lake is an amusement pier with a wooden coaster and a giant wheel welcoming us to the park. We cross the suspension bridge, then head down
the steep ramp. I remark “What goes down, must come back up” Dave assures me he has other plans than to walk back up that ramp. We duck behind the Flying Bobs for a quick relief stop. One thing, the restroom buildings seem to have gotten much
better since my last visit.

Properly relieved, I can start to look at the park. Time is of the essence, so sorry flat rides. Some of you are unique due to your setting, but priorities. So we pass the sky ride, the giant wheel, the Water Swings (A Yo-Yo on stilts, over the lake),
the Flying Bobs (which came from Cincinnati’s Coney Island last year, there is a reason why one certain scenery panel was installed inside out. Observing it, they did manage so where it runs both forwards and backwards in a single cycle. Something
Coney never did, in fact you could get forwards or backwards but not both, but they did alternate so you had to pay attention to the ride before yours if you had a preference. We pass a pool that held a Splash Battle last time I was there, now its
bumper boats. Then comes Lost Coaster. I would have loved to have gone charging into this ones queue, but the group reminded me, limited time, very low capacity ride, save this one or it may be the only ride you get.

We also realize we had not eaten since breakfast and so a stop by the Taco stand is in order, I hear its not quite the FAMOUS Taco stand, and I don’t get what the deal is, other than they are cheap at only $3 for a park. We made it a light snack, we
didn’t realize this would prove to be a big mistake.

After snacking, Dave and I headed to Cornball Express. The line for Cornball was just past where the stairs turn. Both major wood coasters would only be running one train, with operations that are almost on par with Kentucky Kingdom (shudder). A
train pulls in, bars unlock, riders get out. The crew waits until everybody has exited the station before opening the queue gates. People load, they wait until everybody has taken care of stowing loose items and gotten seated. Then they hit the button
that allows you to lower the lapbars. Then a ride operator comes down each side of the train and checks the lap bar. What is wrong with this? Both major wood coasters at Indiana Beach use the old school buzz bars, that means its one solid bar across
both seats. Which means they are checking the same bar twice. (And as Dave pointed out it only has a lock on one side) Cornball is the parks twister coaste, meaning it features curves, but don’t you worry there are airtime hills between them there
curves. Which is a good thing, as it makes this a really nice coaster. If you hadn’t ridden the Holiwoodies the day before, you might even say its extreme, but that’s also part of the Holiwood Nights Hangover, no parks wood coasters are going to
impress you the next day. It does end with a really long, overdone helix that proves John Allen’s point that curves just don’t do anything for anybody. Indiana Beach is also a park that is known as a Stairmaster park. Don’t tell Indiana Beach
they don’t have room for something. They will find a place. Take Conrnball Express, which is built literally on top of Kiddieland, with the station high up in the air requiring numerous flights of stairs.. Though now that Kings Island has taken a
liking to building rides with long stairways (Diamondback, Mystic, Orion, Banshee), this one doesn’t seem as bad as when I first rode it.

We next head the short distance to the hamburger stand. The hamburger stand looks like a classic 60s/70s fast food place. We weren’t going there to eat, rather we took a ramp up to its roof, where one can find the Tigrr, which is a Schwarzkopf Jet
Star. The park only has two cars running on it, which could seat up to 4, but most often take 2 as its no longer fashionable to have in line seating (say like on a log flume) No guy wants to sit in another guys crotch if we can help it. So this is a
low capacity ride, but there were moving the cars as fast as possible and had a sense of getting people through the ride. The ride at a nearly full queue area, not that it’s a large queue area. The funny thing is the one section hey had shunted off,
could have held what maybe 5 more people. Very usefull that optional part of the queue is. Signs warn you to brace for sudden powerful right turns. The park has added retracting seatbelts to this one. It’s a classic, and it still run ns nice and
smoothly, and delivers the laterals like a boss. I didn’t really go out of my way to brace, and found the track banking helped so in the strongest turns the forces were pushing you down into your seat. At the end of the ride, Daves car liked him so
much it tried to keep him, as in the seatbelt would not release at first.

We next headed to the season pass processing center, which is in a central office location, No line at this time to get the pass processed. Nothing unusual fill out a form, hand it to a photographer who enters it into the computer, cuts the wristband
off your arm, takes photo and issues pass.
We head around to the midway where Dave shows me some of the weird setup like the arcade is not outside the park, so be sure to get a handstamp before going into the arcade under the Skyroom. Double Shot was on the boards as closed, so we decided not to
hike all the way out for the Tornado. Heading back we pass the dodgems, the beach and water park area and come to the Den of Lost Thieves.

I didn’t ride this one last visit because of a long queue. I’d say the queue has maybe 1/3 to a ½ full, but I waited it out anyway. I recalled when I did ride this ride, it had several shut downs and evacuations as they discovered the little
engines on the cars can’t lift a lot of weight up the ramp to the second floor. I rode this a lot on my first visit to the park, and I think I managed an evac from just about every part of the ride. They have solved this problem by both posting a 350
lb limit (one sign even says 300 pound limit) per car, and further only ONE adult per car. A rider over 54” may take a rider under 54” with them. At least they seemed to have a good number of cars on. So after a bit of a wait, I was headed in to
the Den of Lost Thieves. After that one visit, I am very anxious until I make it up to the second floor. (you go through the crash doors, then directly up to the second floor, do the top floor first, then go out on the balcony in front of the ride, then
when you go back inside, you go down to the ground floor and finish the ride. It’s a interactive dark ride, and there are some issues, for one th4 targets are red, as are the lights on the security cameras, and some of the other ride safety equipment,
so sometimes you would realize you weren’t shooting a target but a camera. Then there is one whole zone that seems to be broken, as in every target in that zone is dark. The sections that did work were doing fine. I noted on the balcony the pirate in
a barrel stunt in the corner that was the one “You can’t possibly miss this one” stunt was gone. Overall it’s a ride that has managed to keep a level of old school charm even with modern technology.

Leaving that we note the Shaffer Queen is boarding, Dave asks if am interested. We note it’s a half hour cruise, it doesn’t shove off until 7:!5 and the park closs at 8, I’ll pass. We do duck in a gift shop, and a pinball arcade. I note the
Scrambler and Paratroper out on stilts in the lake. We take a look at the Sea Monster (Polyp) that looks like it should be about ready, but wasn’t, a swinging ship, the shooting gallery.

We come to Frankenstein’s Castle. Those that know me know this is a must do for me, for Dave not so much. I think both of us underestimated the length of this walk through. Dave said he would be looking at the new coaster project construction site
and to text him when I finished up here. Frankesntein’s Castle is still an upcharge, only $3.50 though. I enter and note the faux elevator ride to enter is not working and you just walk through it. Inside you pass several tableaux with animatronics.
I pause to look over each one. Most of the house is dark, or it’s all dark inside, yet its carefully done where you can always see an arrow showing you how to proceed. If the arrow is in a distance, this tells you thst you can walk straight ahead.
You don’t spend much time on the first floor and soon move up to the second where most of the haunt it. It’s amazing what a little string from the ceiling in the dark combined with the right sound effects can do. You have the narrow halls, you have
the tilted room. I thought the place used to have some physical floor elements like shakerboards, but either I am remembering wrong or they are gone. At no time are there dexterity stunts . The tableaux also show that you don’t need blood, guts and
gore. (Which is what modern day haunts seem to thrive on) you just need to set a spooky scene, and have the right gag fire when you walk past it. What is still there is a classic Hall of Doors. This one is laid out in a circle, which would seem to be
done to further disorient you as you would lose any reference point as to where you have been when you pick the wrong door and are led back to this same room. This was a nice touch, but its lost in two ways – one the door you entered into the room
originally has no handle. This gives you one reference marker, the other is that Mr. Fire Marshal made them clearly label one door as a guaranteed exit. AS the door says, this is an emergency exit and does not continue with your tour. So now you have
some bearings. Okak, then some dooes led to small hallways that circle the room and re-enter through another door. Other doors just open to solid wall. I methodically try each door, even intentionally skipping the correct door to see what each did. (In
today’s layout the correct door was just to the left of the fire door. So say doors 1 and 3 (clockwise from the entry door) lop back upon each other, 2 opens to a wall, 4 is the correct exit, 5 is the fire exit. I think 6 looped to 9 and 7 looped to 8.
I do wonder if this can all be changed, so that even house experts have to solve the puzzle. Once I headed down the exit path, I saw a two way hallway and an arrow, so I wonder if the “fire path” really does just rejoin the correct path. A you may
guess with a modern walk through, there are chicken/fire doors everywhere. There are also many doors along the tour route, these I refer to as the sawteeth of the attraction, trying to ensure that there is no backtracking and that people keep moving
forward. That and hey there is an element of apprehension about what is going to be behind the next door. Eventually you make it up to the third floor, which is notable for the little balcony where you go out and have a commanding view of the midway.
This like the little outdoor pars of some dark rides is really meant for a more evil purpose. More so here, is that they figure by now your eyes have dialeted to the point where you are starting to see better in the dark. We don’t want that. So we
send you outside, you wince for a brief moment, then you go cool, let stake in the view, wave to friends and passer by, then re-enter the haunt where your eyes are reset back to normal and the darkness is again a force. The other noteworthy feature is
the rock band scene in the castle turret. Complete with the “Collapsing balcony” gag, you then start your decent, and you get an object lesson that you don’t need bright lights flooding stairway to make it safe – contrast stripes and black light
can be quite effective. You head down the the second floor where you cross by the band but now under the band, then there is a suspension bridge gag before the final exit. Then its clearly a service stairs back to the main floor, to the point where you
think you may have gone out a wrong door. There are other doors opening to this utilitarian hall and stairs and I suspect those are some of the other chicken/fire doors. You do proceed down the stairs and exit through the lobby.

I first check the time – its 7:25, that took 20 minutes? Impressive really for an amusement park walk through. I text Dave and also tell him I am headed to Hoosier Hurricane. Hurricane is also on the upper level, so again two or three flights of
stairs, then the stile over the track (at Cornball the stile is to get back over from the exit side, here you come in on the exit side, and stile over to the entry side. I pick a row, same slow procedure as before, the gates open, and people don’t go
for the seats directly in front of them. I just want on the ride so take an empty seat. It’s a bit harder to get the lap bar closed here, and I realize Cornball as the new open seat dividers and this one still has the solid dividers. The ride starts,
and rough with spot of sluggish is what the report is here. Whatever overhaul this ride received last year it didn’t work, Sorry, but that is a ride that needs work.

As my train is pulling in on Hooiser Hurricane, Dave calls to me from the entry stairs. I figure two three trains tops he will exit, so I wait at the bottom of the stairs. One thing I realize is that there are parts here that I can’t tell which wood
coaster is which, the run alongside one another and I think may even share some structure. I see train after train come and go, no Dave. Probably too late, I make the command decision to head to LoCoSuMo, I did text Dave so he would know. Unfortunately
the line was already cut by the time I had gotten there. I text that news to Dave and tell him I’d meet him at the Taco Stand. I should have gotten more tacos while i was there. I watch just how slow the line for LoCoSuMo moves, a queue I figured to
be 10 minutes tops was just dragging.

The next I hear of Dave is a report that he got his Hoosier Hurricane ride, and instead of joining me, he darted towards the Skyroom to ride the Sky Ride to avoid that evil ramp. He got to said Sky Ride just after it closed. Dave comes and collects me,
and informs me the other two would like valet pick up at the north exit. (So those two did avoid the steep ramp back up). Woudn’t you know it we ran into other park people on the way out, so it was a leisurely park exit. Back up the ramp, the
conversation continued all the way to the parking lot. So likely 8:30 or so we pull out of the lot, and drive around to the north lot. Hey I get to see the construction site for the new coaster, so this isn’t all bad after all.. Still seems like a
fair amount of work to do.

We gather the other two up and head out. Soon thereafter we are all wishing we could have dinner. We also had the shipboard computer tell us what time it thought we would reach Dave’s house in Columbus. Note – not all of us had gotten off work on
Monday. This would have been the perfect time for a 15 minute fast food pit stop. You know run in grab a burger basket and drink, sit down and scarf it down, then get back on the road. Except for a few things, one the way home is mostly through rural
areas, and its now after 9pm on a Sunday. Thanks to one of the lingering side effects of COVID, there is nothing open past 9pm. The story goes that a lot of states had the bright idea that COVID only comes out after dark, so they ordered businesses
closed by 10 pm. So businesses laid off their night crews, sometimes shortening their hours so their own workers could be home by 10. Now businesses can reopen but as has been in the news thanks to generous unemployment programs, those former night crew
workers are finding it more profitable to not work, the end result, life ends at 8pm every night now.

Worse than not being able to get food, we realize we have other needs to take care of. And just like last night, every filling station we came across was either closed or in Pay at the pump mode. So we finally find an open station, go inside, make it
3’ in the place “RESTROOMS CLOSED!” When we ask what are we supposed to do now the worker just stated “Not my problem” I swear we should have just whipped it out and used her counter as a urinal at that point. We sure as hell aren’t buying
any gas or snacks from her.

Luckily for us, remaining calm when you really wanted to rip somebody a new one, was rewarded when we found another station just down the road. One that was more hospitable. We took are of urgent matters, then we looked around saddened to see that
anything that qualifies as real food was gone. So its Zoom Zooms and Wham Whams for diner, eaten out in the parking lot. We got a demonstration of just how hazy hot and humid it still was when Dave tried to enjoy a Klondike bar,.

So back in the car, and Dave announced that we uhm, missed a turn somewhere, and we were on a trajectory for Cedar Point. We were able to correct that, but the long and short it was, we pulled into Dave’s place at about 2:30. We just parked the car by
the side door and headed in, unloaded the car, got ready for bed, which meant for me getting stuff like a fan, sheet, pillow and blanket from upstairs. So probably closer to 3 or 3:15 its night time. Hey, at least Kermit put on a variety show from his
stage in front of the fireplace, or I may have just been dreaming that.

Now the good news, Dave and I were in the “Took Monday off camp” so this coaster riding adventure isn’t over yet. But what will we do Monday. Tune in to our next exciting episode.

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