• Re: MACKY IS SMART

    From Ian Antiwue@21:1/5 to Bill Cheek on Thu May 5 11:53:57 2022
    On Tuesday, July 28, 1998 at 3:00:00 PM UTC+8, Bill Cheek wrote:
    @cts.com
    Organization: COMMtronics Engineering & World Scanner Report
    Mime-Version: 1.0
    Reply-To: bch...@san.rr.com
    Newsgroups: rec.radio.scanner
    har...@concentric.net (Carol Harker) wrote:
    That's pretty funny!
    Who is this Mackey character?
    A cartooon character in a sense, not unlike
    Wile E. Coyote, a type of masochist who
    thrives on deep and profound pain.
    An electronic warfare practitioner, he's been
    wreaking havoc and consternation on the
    denizens of this newsgroup for three years.
    He fancies itself as a great benefactor to the
    newsgroup; a messiah of some sort. I say
    "itself", because it's a classic hermaphrodite
    with a number of very serious mental and
    physical disorders, chief of which is the
    world's first documented case of a pseudo-female
    brain inside a psuedo-male cranial cavity.
    Does he know anything about Scanners?
    No, of course not. It prefers a world of
    circular logic where sense and sensibility;
    rhyme and reason; and linear logic are strangers.
    It doesn't know its arse from any of the holes in
    its face.....and to paraphrase what someone else
    said today,.... neither do we. You can't tell
    by looking, its mouth from its sweet patooty.
    It knows nothing of scanners aside from the
    "flatbed" type....and then only because "flat"
    and "bed" are music to its ears.
    It's a pitiful, warped, perverted life form that's
    not accepted by any other life-form community on
    the planet......a pariah, if you will....a
    minuscule, pathetic, life support system for an
    as yet to be determined perverse DNA combinatorial
    scheme.
    Look at it this way.....according to some other
    testimony on this newsgroup, Mackey is said to
    have suck-started a Harley-Davidson motorcycle.
    Need I say more?
    You're very intelligent. From where are you what's your name?

    --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
    * Origin: fsxNet Usenet Gateway (21:1/5)
  • From Ian Antiwue@21:1/5 to Ian Antiwue on Thu May 5 12:38:49 2022
    On Friday, May 6, 2022 at 2:53:58 AM UTC+8, Ian Antiwue wrote:
    On Tuesday, July 28, 1998 at 3:00:00 PM UTC+8, Bill Cheek wrote:
    @cts.com
    Organization: COMMtronics Engineering & World Scanner Report
    Mime-Version: 1.0
    Reply-To: bch...@san.rr.com
    Newsgroups: rec.radio.scanner
    har...@concentric.net (Carol Harker) wrote:
    That's pretty funny!
    Who is this Mackey character?
    A cartooon character in a sense, not unlike
    Wile E. Coyote, a type of masochist who
    thrives on deep and profound pain.
    An electronic warfare practitioner, he's been
    wreaking havoc and consternation on the
    denizens of this newsgroup for three years.
    He fancies itself as a great benefactor to the
    newsgroup; a messiah of some sort. I say
    "itself", because it's a classic hermaphrodite
    with a number of very serious mental and
    physical disorders, chief of which is the
    world's first documented case of a pseudo-female
    brain inside a psuedo-male cranial cavity.
    Does he know anything about Scanners?
    No, of course not. It prefers a world of
    circular logic where sense and sensibility;
    rhyme and reason; and linear logic are strangers.
    It doesn't know its arse from any of the holes in
    its face.....and to paraphrase what someone else
    said today,.... neither do we. You can't tell
    by looking, its mouth from its sweet patooty.
    It knows nothing of scanners aside from the
    "flatbed" type....and then only because "flat"
    and "bed" are music to its ears.
    It's a pitiful, warped, perverted life form that's
    not accepted by any other life-form community on
    the planet......a pariah, if you will....a
    minuscule, pathetic, life support system for an
    as yet to be determined perverse DNA combinatorial
    scheme.
    Look at it this way.....according to some other
    testimony on this newsgroup, Mackey is said to
    have suck-started a Harley-Davidson motorcycle.
    Need I say more?
    You're very intelligent. From where are you what's your name?
    Pota ubra2 kamo storya pinamati chismis saakun kamo dirikta mayad kamo mag igo patalikod Ari ko ihambal atubangay ang pag pakalain nyo sakun nga wala ko idea Gina winasak nyo pamilya ko pota panindigi abi na sa atubang ko ihala

    --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
    * Origin: fsxNet Usenet Gateway (21:1/5)
  • From Rushil Ambarish Kadu@21:1/5 to Onion Cider on Wed Aug 3 05:14:42 2022
    On Monday, July 27, 1998 at 12:30:00 PM UTC+5:30, Onion Cider wrote:
    Here is some more funny jokes about John Mackey.
    MACKY AND THE HELP DESK
    John Macky called in a trouble report to his
    company's Help Desk when his computer wouldn't
    turn on. The troubleshooter found that Macky
    had plugged his power strip back into itself
    and didn't understand why there was no power.

    MACKY AND THE FAX MACHINE
    Macky: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"
    Secretary: "A little. What's wrong?"
    Macky: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called
    back to say all he received was a cover-sheet
    and a blank page. I tried it again, and the
    same thing happened."
    Secretary: "How did you load the sheet?"
    Macky: "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want
    anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded
    it so only the recipient would open it and read it."

    MACKY AND A DEAD BATTERY
    John Macky was found weeping and crying his heart out
    beside his car. "Do you need some help?", a passerby
    asked. Macky replied, "I knew I should have replaced
    the battery in this remote door unlocker. Now I can't
    get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant
    convenience store) would have a battery for this?"
    The passerby replied, "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an
    alarm, too?"
    "No, just this remote thingy," Macky answered, handing it
    and the car keys to the passerby, who took the key and
    manually unlocked the door, and replied, "Why don't you
    just drive over there and check on the batteries...it's
    a long walk."

    MACKY AND THE HELP DESK - PART II
    Help Desk: What does the screen say now?
    Macky: It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'.
    Help Desk: Well?
    Macky: How do I know when it's ready?

    MACKY WORKS AT AN INSURANCE COMPANY
    George Jones called his car insurance company to tell them
    to change his address from Texas to Vermont. John Macky,
    who took the call asked where Vermont was. As George tried
    to explain, Macky interrupted and said, "Look, I'm not stupid
    or anything, just tell me what state it's in?"

    MACKY THE TYPIST
    Several years ago John Macky was typing and turned to a
    secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper.
    What do I do?" "Just use copier paper," she told him.
    With that, Macky took his last remaining blank piece of
    paper, put it on the copier and made five blank copies.

    MACKY AND THE HELP DESK - PART III
    One day one John Macky called the computer help desk
    and asked if anything "bad" would happen if he dropped
    coins into the openings of his PC. The Help Desk asked
    if this was something he was thinking of doing. Macky
    snorted, "never mind" and hung up. Suspicious, the Help
    Desk tech got out his trusty tool kit and paid Macky a
    visit. Opening Macky's CPU case, sure enough, there
    was 40 cents.

    MACKY GETS SYSADMIN JOB
    John Macky once got a job as a System Admininstrator and
    one of HIS servers crashed. He inserted a CD and needed
    to type a path name to a directory named "i386." He started
    to type it and paused, and asked a nearby secretary, "Where
    on the keyboard is that line thing?" The secretary asked
    what the hell he was talking about, and Macky mumbled,
    "You know, that one that looks like an upside-down
    exclamation mark." The secretary replied, "You mean the
    letter 'i'?" Macky replied, "Yeah, that's it!"

    MACKY AT HOME
    John Macky had a broken lamp which he wanted to discard.
    Unfortunately, the power cord ran under his refrigerator,
    making it impossible to move the lamp while the cord was
    attached. He decided to cut the cord, since the lamp was
    unusable anyway. He didn't remember to unplug it first.
    His landlord, investigating weird noises, found Macky
    thrashing and rolling back and forth on the kitchen floor.

    MACKY'S MOTOR HOME
    John Macky's large motorhome was towed into the garage.
    The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and
    the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister."
    The service manager asked what had happened. Macky replied
    that he had set the cruise control, then went in back to
    make a sandwich.

    MACKY ONCE WAS A SECRETARY
    I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. John Macky
    answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?"

    MACKY AT HOME - PART II
    Curious, John Macky called Blockbuster and mentioned that
    before the movie begins a message comes on the screen saying,
    "This movie has been altered to fit your television screen."
    Macky then added: "How do they know what size screen I have?

    MACKY AND THE HELP DESK - PART IV
    Macky: Hello, Help Desk? Uhh, the coffee cup holder on my
    PC broke off.
    Help Desk: Huh? What do you mean "coffee cup holder"?
    Macky: You know, that little shelf that slides in
    and out when you push a button?
    Help Desk: No, I don't understand. Please describe it.
    Macky: It's on the front of the computer just below
    the floppy drive and just above the power
    switch, and when I press this button, a door
    opens up and out comes the coffee cup holder.
    Well, this morning, it broke off and spilled
    coffee all over me and the computer.
    Help Desk: Wait a minute......(Pssst, hey Boss, it's Macky
    again. This time he broke off the disk carriage
    on his CD-ROM.)
    MACKY AND THE HELP DESK - PART V
    Macky: Hello, Help Desk? Uhh, where is the "ANY" key on
    my keyboard.
    Help Desk: The "enny" key?
    Macky: Yes that's the one. I can't find it.
    Help Desk: I don't know what the hell you are talking about,
    so please explain and give details.
    Macky: Well, on my screen it says, "Press any key" and
    I can't find it.
    Help Desk: Wait a minute......(Pssst, hey Boss, this is it.
    I've had it. You can take this job and shove it.
    Nice one.

    --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
    * Origin: fsxNet Usenet Gateway (21:1/5)