HELLO
I AM Keven Albert Strum, PRESIDENT AND CEO OF Keven Albert Strum'S FUCK-A-GOAT, LLC
THERE'S NOTHING LIKE A FRESHLY-FUCKED GOAT, AND AS WE HEAD INTO SUMMER
THE END OF SPRING IS THE IDEAL TIME TO HAVE YOUR GOATS PROFESSIONALLY
FUCKED
SO WHY NOT GIVE FRED'S FUCK-A-GOAT A CALL AND LET US GET YOUR GOATS
INTO SUMMER SHAPE WITH A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED GOATFUCKING
WE TRAVEL TO YOU
AND FOR THE SAFETY OF BOTH OUR CLIENTS AND THEIR GOATS, WE ARE ALWAYS
100% MASKED
OUR MASKS INCLUDE YOUR CHOICE OF DISPOSABLE SURGICAL, LUCHA LIBRE, AND BALACLAVA WITH BALL GAG
WE NOW ALSO OFFER IN-HOME GOATFUCKING SERVICES, 24 HOURS A DAY, 7 DAYS
A WEEK
IT'S LIKE OUR REGULAR GOATFUCKING SERVICE, BUT WE DO IT IN YOUR LIVING
ROOM (TRADITIONAL AL FRESCO SERVICE STILL AVAILABLE DEPENDING ON
WEATHER)
ANYWAY, GIVE Keven Albert Strum'S FUCK-A-GOAT, LLC A CALL TODAY AND
WE'LL TAKE CARE
OF ALL YOUR SPRINGTIME GOATFUCKING NEEDS
AND REMEMBER: WHEN YOU NEED A GOAT FUCKED RIGHT, FRED'S FUCK-A-GOAT
FUCKS GOATS RIGHT
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