"WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In what they are hailing as a consensus choice, House Republicans have nominated a college intern named Zach to be the new Speaker of the House.
The freshly minted G.O.P. nominee acknowledged that he was “kind of surprised” to be chosen as Speaker but said that he was “totally stoked about wielding that hammer.”
“I’m, like, whoa—all of a sudden, I’m Thor,” he said. “This is gonna be dope.”
Zach, who is taking a year off from his studies at the Northern University of Southern Florida, is well liked within the G.O.P. conference, insiders said.
“Zach never screws up our coffee orders,” one Republican congressman said. “You couldn’t say the same for Kevin McCarthy.”"
https://tinyurl.com/ye279t25
TB
On 10/13/2023 3:00 PM, Technobarbarian wrote:
"WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In what they are hailing as a
consensus choice, House Republicans have nominated a college intern
named Zach to be the new Speaker of the House.
The freshly minted G.O.P. nominee acknowledged that he was “kind
of surprised†to be chosen as Speaker but said that he was
“totally stoked about wielding that hammer.â€
“I’m, like, whoa—all of a sudden, I’m Thor,†he said.
“This is gonna be dope.â€
Zach, who is taking a year off from his studies at the Northern
University of Southern Florida, is well liked within the G.O.P.
conference, insiders said.
“Zach never screws up our coffee orders,†one Republican
congressman said. “You couldn’t say the same for Kevin
McCarthy.â€"
https://tinyurl.com/ye279t25
TB
Seems like he's overqualified for Speaker...
We want Santos! We want Santos! We want Santos!
On 10/13/2023 3:00 PM, Technobarbarian wrote:
"WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In what they are hailing as a consensus choice, House Republicans have nominated a college intern named Zach to be the new Speaker of the House.
The freshly minted G.O.P. nominee acknowledged that he was “kind of surprised” to be chosen as Speaker but said that he was “totally stoked about wielding that hammer.”
“I’m, like, whoa—all of a sudden, I’m Thor,” he said. “This is gonna be dope.”
Zach, who is taking a year off from his studies at the Northern University of Southern Florida, is well liked within the G.O.P. conference, insiders said.
“Zach never screws up our coffee orders,” one Republican congressman said. “You couldn’t say the same for Kevin McCarthy.”"
https://tinyurl.com/ye279t25
TBSeems like he's overqualified for Speaker...
We want Santos! We want Santos! We want Santos!
kmiller wrote:
On 10/13/2023 3:00 PM, Technobarbarian wrote:
"WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In what they are hailing as a
consensus choice, House Republicans have nominated a college intern
named Zach to be the new Speaker of the House.
The freshly minted G.O.P. nominee acknowledged that he was “kind
of surprised†to be chosen as Speaker but said that he was
“totally stoked about wielding that hammer.â€
“I’m, like, whoa—all of a sudden, I’m Thor,†he said.
“This is gonna be dope.â€
Zach, who is taking a year off from his studies at the Northern
University of Southern Florida, is well liked within the G.O.P.
conference, insiders said.
“Zach never screws up our coffee orders,†one Republican
congressman said. “You couldn’t say the same for Kevin
McCarthy.â€"
https://tinyurl.com/ye279t25
TB
Seems like he's overqualified for Speaker...
We want Santos! We want Santos! We want Santos!
I want Gutfeld!
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