• Best of Internet Oracularities #1551-1575

    From oracle-admin@internetoracle.org@21:1/5 to All on Wed Aug 29 14:43:43 2018
    === 1551-1575 - 4.0 ====================================================== Title: Best of Internet Oracularities #1551-1575
    Compiled-By: Steve Kinzler <steve@kinzler.com>
    Date: 28 Aug 2018 09:16:45 -0400

    Oracularities are the distilled wisdom and sagacity of the Internet
    Oracle, as incarnated in its many anonymous e-mail participants.
    This collection has been compiled from the regular Oracularities postings
    #1551 through #1575 and contains the Oracularities rated by its readers
    as among the funniest.

    To find out more about the Internet Oracle, send mail to help@internetoracle.org to receive the Oracle helpfile, or go to http://internetoracle.org/

    The regular Oracularities postings can be found at the website above or
    in the Usenet newsgroup rec.humor.oracle. Open discussion about the
    Internet Oracle occurs in the newsgroup rec.humor.oracle.d. If your
    site doesn't carry these newsgroups, contact your news administrator
    about starting them, or see the Oracle helpfile about subscribing to
    the Oracularities e-mail distribution list.

    --- 1552-04 0127a 4.3 ---------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: Tim Chew <twchew@mindspring.com>

    The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
    Your question was:

    I've often wondered how Julius Caesar would do as a taxicab driver in
    New York City in 1934. He'd already speak Italian, sort of, and could probably pick up Yiddish and Brooklynese pretty fast.

    You will of course already know the answer to this and other perplexing questions, so there will be no need for extensive research. But just in
    case, if you happen to do research, don't forget to bring me along!

    And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

    } Oracle's log, no stardate. For Zadoc and I, time does not exist. I made
    } the mistake of bringing a Supplicant back in time to take Julius Caesar
    } on a trip to 1934. Big mistake. Now, all Earth history has been
    } changed. Upon arriving in New York City in 1934, the Supplicant went on
    } a drinking bender and ran laughing into the night. In o