The following is a complete list of sniglets that have appeared
on this newsgroup so far, with a few additions:
Sniglet = Any word which should be in the dictionary but isn't.
SNIGLETS ABOUT FOOD
-------------------
Cornextortion = When you go to the movie theatre and ask for a small popcorn,
the guy behind the counter says, "for ONLY 25 cents more you can
get a large popcorn". Moviegoers, watch out for this common
tactic.
Crispthian = Any actor who is hired basically because his name helps sell
the cereal, i.e. Captian Crunch. Snap, Crackle, and Pop from
"Rice Krispies" are also crispthians. No one would hire them
if their names were "Sputter", "Thutter", and "Whizz", would they?
Foodwinking = The practice of giving exotic names to otherwise mundane
products. For example, "Salsa Rio flavored Doritos"
Milkdudes = Any two milk duds fused together by accident.
Newtrons = The magnetized particles that amazingly hold some fig newtons
together.
Oatamatopoiea = The sound that the cereal "Captain Crunch" makes when you
pour milk over it.
Snackmosphere = The 95% air inside bags of potato chips.
Sub-atomic toasticles = The little bits of toast that somehow always get
stuck on the stick of butter.
SNIGLETS ABOUT MAPS
-------------------
Continentertinter = The person in a mapmaking company whose job is to
decide what color a specific country is going to be.
Gapiana = The little strip of land between the "You are now leaving"
and "You are now entering" signs when you cross from one state
into another.
Geosniglet = Any word that should be in the atlas but isn't.
Hawaska = In an atlas, the rectangular box which contains Hawaii and
Alaska and is located just off the coast of Arizona.
SNIGLETS ABOUT SHOPPING
-----------------------
Hereoglyph = A little stick figure on a mallmanac (see below) that tells you
where you are in a mall because you can't tell by yourself
because there is no face on it. (Often the words "You Are Here"
occur at the bottom of the hereoglyph)
Mallmanac = In a mall, the giant maze with blocks and numbers on it, otherwise
known as the "Directory".
OTHER SNIGLETS
--------------
Delusions of Greendeur = Sometimes products will try to pander to you
consciousness by claiming to be ozone friendly, environmentally-
safe, ... no animal testing required. These products are called
"Delusions of Greendeur". For example, Glad bags. It actually
says on the back of the box, "Can be incenerated safely,
providing more fuel value than wood or coal." What does this
mean? You can actually heat your house, cook with Glad bags? Discombebopulated = Whenever you are driving along and you can't find a
house, and you have the address in your hand, and you can't
find the address, so you turn the radio down. Somehow, this
will help you find the house easier. If you ever find yourself
doing this, then you are discombebopulated.
Exxonerated = Lets say that a CERTAIN oil tanker captain gets cranked up
and wipes out the Alaskan coastline, but he only gets charged
with criminal mischief, which kind of sounds like all he did
was tape "kick me" signs to the backs of penguins. Well, then
you can describe that captain as "Exxonerated".
Flushmania = When you go into a public restroom, and the whole place
STINKS AS HELL, you flush ALL the toilets before doing
what YOU have to do. (Related to Flushamnesia = When you
forget to flush the toilet in a public restroom.)
Barfaroma = The stink that eminates from a person immediately after he has
thrown up.
The following list was sent to me from GPF103%PSUVM.bitnet@cunyvm.cuny.edu:
/* SNIGLET EXEC */
/* */
/* Sniglet */
/* */
/* (SNIG lit) - n. Any word that doesn't appear in the */
/* dictionary, but should. */
/* */
/* */
/* Book written by Richard Hall and friends. */
/* Published by Collier Books, Macmillan Publishing Company */
/* Original Author of Exec unknown. */
/* Modified 01/20/88 by The Fiend (RCW101@PSUVM) */
[lots of stuff deleted - don't worry, there weren't any sniglets here]
/*SNIGLETS
abzot (AB zaht) - n. The device in a currency changer thatdetermines whether a bill is too wrinkled or not.
accordionated (ah KOR de on ay tid) - adj. Being able todrive and refold a road map at the same time.
aeroma (ayr OH ma) - n. The odor emanating from anexercise room after an aerobics workout.
aeropalmics (ayr o PALM iks) - n. The study of windresistance conducted by holding a cupped hand out the car
window.
alponium (al PO nee um) - n. (chemical symbol: Ap) Initialblast of odor upon opening a can of dog food.
ambiportalous (am bih PORT ahl us) - adj. Possessing theuncanny knack for approaching a set of double doors and
ALWAYS pushing the locked one.
anaception (an a SEP shun) - n. The body's ability toactually affect television reception by moving about the
room.
antalixic (and a LIK sik) - n. One who passes overlicorice jelly beans.
anticiparcellate (an ti si PAR sel ate) - v. Waiting untilthe mailman is several houses down the street before picking
up the mail, so as not to appear too anxious.
aquadextrous (ak wa DEKS trus) - adj. Possessing theability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
aqualibrium (ak wa LIB re um) - n. The point where thestream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height,
thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the
nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye.
arachnidiot (ar ak NI di ot) - n. A person, who, havingwandered into an "invisible" spider web begins gyrating and
flailing about wildly.
attrinyl (a TRY nil) - n. (chemical symbol: At) A black,bulletproof, totally inflexible type of plastic, used
primarily in covers of pay phone directories.
bandile (BAN dyl) - n. The thin red strip one pulls torelease a Band-Aid.
bargarcs (BAR jarks) - n. The streaks on a car'swindshield from faulty wipers.
bathquake (BATH kwake) - n. The violent quake that rattlesthe entire house when the water faucet is turned to a
certain point.
bevameter (BEV a meet uhr) - n. (a unit of measure) Thedistance a coaster, attached to the bottom of a wet glass,
will travel before it falls back to earth.
bleemus (BLEE mus) - n. The disgusting film on the top ofsoups and cocoa that sit out for too long.
blibula (BLIH byu luh) - n. The spot on a dog's stomachwhich, when rubbed, causes his leg to rotate wildly.
blindelize (BLIN dul eyes) - v. To scratch an album beyondrecognition trying to maneuver it over the record spindle.
blithwapping (BLITH wap ing) - v. Using anything BUT ahammer to hammer a nail into the wall, such as shoes, lamp
bases, door stops, etc.
blivett (BLIH vit) - v. To turn one's pillow over andover, looking for the cool spot.
blotch (blahch) - v. To slap the bottom of a catsup bottlewith increasing intensity, ultimately resulting in a
BLOTCHSLIDE.
bobblogesture (bah blo JES cher) - n. The classroomactivity of not knowing an answer but raising one's hand
anyway (after determining a sufficient number of other
people have also raised their hands, thus reducing the
likelihood of actually being called on).
boslum (BAHZ lum) - n. The small metal ring on a ballpointpen that separates the top half (MELANEXUS) from the bottom
half (MOOSTERUS).
bovilexia (bo vil EKS e uh) - n. The uncontrollable urgeto lean out the car window and yell "Moo!!" every time you
pass a cow.
brattled (BRAT uld) - adj. The unsettling feeling, at astoplight, that the busload of kids that just pulled up
beside you is making fun of you.
brimplet (BRIM plit) - n. A frayed shoelace that must bemoistened to pass through a shoe eyelet.
bucklint (BUCK lint) - n. The fine red and blue threadsrunning through new dollar bills.
buculets (BUK u lets) - n. The bumper guards on theunderside of a toilet seat.
bumperglints (BUMP ur glintz) - n. The small reflectiveobstacles in the middle of interstate highways which
supposedly keep drivers awake and on the track.
burbulation (ber byu LAY shun) - n. The obsessive act ofopening and closing a refrigerator door in an attempt to
catch it before the little automatic light comes on.
bursploot (BER sploot) - v. To position one's thumb at theend of a garden hose to increase the water pressure.
busblender (BUS blen dur) - v. The device at the front ofthe bus that tosses your fare around for awhile, then
swallows it.
cabnicreep (KAB nih kreep) - n. The structural conditionin which the closing of one kitchen cabinet causes another
to open.
careena (ka REEN uh) - n. Any mangled or missing piece ofhighway guard rail.
carperpetuation (KAR pur pet u a shun) - n. The act, whenvacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at
least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up,
examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum
ONE MORE CHANCE.
cereoallocative (ser e o AL o ka tuv) - adj. Describes theability of a seasoned breakfast eater to establish a perfect
cereal/ banana ratio, assuring there will be at least one
slice of banana left for the final spoonful of cereal.
chalktrauma (CHAWK traw ma) - n. The body's reaction tosomeone running his fingernails down a chalkboard.
charp (charp) - n. The green, mutant potato chip found inevery bag.
cheedle (CHEE dul) - n. The residue left on one'sfingertips after consuming a bag of Cheetos.
chingrip (CHIN grip) - n. The area where the chin meetsthe neck. Used for holding the pillow when slipping on a
pillowcase.
choconiverous (chahk o NIV ur us) - adj. The tendency wheneating a chocolate Easter bunny to bite off the head first.
chwads (chwadz) - n. The small, disgusting wads of bubblegum commonly found beneath table and counter tops.
cigadent (SIG a dent) - n. Any accident involving acigarette: for instance when it sticks to your lips while
your fingers slide off and get burned.
cinemuck (SI ne muk) - n.The combination of popcorn, soda,and melted chocolate which covers the floors of movie
theaters.
circlocryogenic theory (sur klo kri o JEN ik THE ur ree)- n. Postulates that no matter which way you turn a glass of
ice water, the cubes will to the back. (Further research has
established t hat one piece of ice will always stick to the
bottom of any empty glass until tapped, at which point it
will come forward and smack the drinker on the end of his
nose.)
circuloin technique (SUR kew loyn tek NEEK) - n. Thepopular approach to steak dining in which one eats around
the edges first, then works his way toward the middle.
clumfert (KLUM furt) - n. The invisible extra step at thetop and bottom of a staircase. Usually materializes when
one is carrying a large bag of groceries.
coeggulant (ko EG yu lent) - n. The white things in aplate of scrambled eggs.
conagraphs (KOHN a grafs) - n. The raised relief squareson an ice cream cone.
creedles (KRE dulz) - n. The colony of microscopicindentations on a golfball.
crummox (KRUM oks) - n. The cereal that gets caughtbetween the inner lining and the side of the box. Also, the
leftover amount at the bottom. (Not enough to eat, but too
much to throw away. )
curbswell (KERB swel) - n. A seismic condition in whichthe curb on the passenger side of a car will rise and wedge a
car door. The passenger must then climb out and stand on the
curb until the swelling goes down.
dasho (DA show) - n. The area between a car's windshieldand dashboard, where coins, pencils, etc. cannot be humanly
retrieved.
deterrency (de TER ren see) - n. The ruined currency foundin pants pockets after laundering.
detruncus (de TRUNK us) - n. The embarrassing phenomenonof losing one's bathing shorts while diving into a swimming
pool.
disconfect (dis kon FECT) - v. To sterilize the piece ofcandy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow
assuming this will "remove" all the germs.
door slinky (dor SLIN kee) - n. The springy deviceattached to the back of a door that prevents the door from
marring the wall.
dublectate (duh BLEK tayt) - v. To misplace one'seyeglasses and eventually discover them atop one's head.
ecnalubma (ek na LUB ma) - n. A rescue vehicle which canonly be seen in the rear-view mirror.
elbonics (el BON iks) - n. The action of two peoplemaneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
elecelleration (el a cel er AY shun) - n. The mistakennotion that the more you press an elevator button the faster
it will arrive.
equatt (E kwat) - n. The pastime of trying to balance thelight switch in the exact middle of the wall plate, so that
the light is half on, half off.
erdu (UHR dew) - n. The leftover accumulation of rubberparticles after erasing a mistake on a test paper.
escalasticize (esk a LAST i size) - v. To lean against therail of a moving escalator and have the sensation of being
pulled in t he opposite
directions.
euneeblic (you NEE blik) - n. A person who refuses tobelieve an "out of order" sign and risks his money anyway.
expressholes (eks PRES holz) - n. People who try to sneakmore than the "eight items or less" into the express
checkout line.
fenderberg (FEN dur burg) - n. The large glacial depositsthat form on the insides of car fenders during snowstorms.
flannister (FLAN is tur) - n. The plastic yoke that holdsa six-pack of beer together.
flen (flen) - n. (chemical symbol: Fl) The black crustyresidue that accumulates on the necks of old catsup bottles.
fleptic (FLEP tik) - adj. The tendency of soup and dogfood lids to slip into the can upon opening.
flirr (flur) - n. A photograph that features the cameraoperator's finger in the corner.
floles (floz) - n. The extra (fourth and fifth) holes innotebook paper. Created in the hopes that oneday mankind
will perfect a "five ring binder."
flopcorn (FLOP korn) - n. The unpopped kernels at thebottom of the cooker.
flotion (FLO shun) - n. The tendency when sharing awaterbed to undulate for five minutes every time the other
person moves.
flotta factor (FLAH ta FAK tur) - n. The provenscientific fact that at a self-service pump, the last ten
cents take longer to reach the tank than the first twelve
dollars' worth.
flowfright (FLO frite) - n. The desperate attempt by ahomeowner to talk his overflowing toilet into backing down.
fluggling (FLUG ul ing) - v. The dangerous practice, in adarkened room, of using one's finger to guide the end of an
electrical plug into a wall socket.
fraznit (FRAHS nit) - n. Any string hanging from anarticle of clothing, which when pulled causes the article to
completely unravel.
frust (frust) - n. The small line of debris that refusesto be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person
across the room until he finally decides to give up and
sweep it under the rug.
furbling (FER bling) - v. Having to wander through a mazeof ropes at an airport of bank even when you are the only
person in line.
furnidents (FER nih dents) - n. The indentations thatappear in carpets after a piece of furniture has been
removed.
furterus zone (fer TER us zohn) - n. The empty stretchesof bun on either end of a hot dog.
garmites (GAR mitz) - n. Those items of clothing that fitperfectly in the store, but somehow shrink on the way home.
genderplex (JEN dur pleks) - n. The predicament of aperson in a theme restaurant who is unable to determine his
or her designated bathroom (e.g., turtles and tortoises).
gertatious (gur TAY shus) - adj. Having the adolescentfear that hanging one's arm over the bed at night will mean
being dragged under.
gimplexus (gim PLEK sis) - n. The rear area of the thighs,which must be peeled from the car seat on hot summer days.
gladhandling (GLAD han dling) - n. To attempt, withfrustrating results, to find and separate the ends of a
plastic-sandwich or trash bag.
glantics (GLAN tiks) - n. Two people, who, while makingout, open their eyes at the same time to see if the other
is looking.
glarpo (GLAR po) - n. The juncture of the ear and skullwhere pencils are stored.
gleemule (GLEE mule) - n. (a unit of measure) One unit oftoothpaste, measured from bristle to bristle. (Not to be
confused with GLEEMITES, which are petrified deposits of
toothpaste found in sinks.)
glutetic chair (glew TET ik chair) - adj. A twentieth-century design chair, found most often in movie theaters.
The main feature of the Glutetic chair is its ability to
keep folding up underneath a person as he tries to force it
down with his rear.
gnarmblum (NARM blum) - n. The dry wrinkly area at the endof the elbow.
grackles (GRAK elz) - n. The wrinkles that appear on thebody after staying in water too long.
greelite (GREE lite) - n. The eerie glow that emanatesfrom beneath escalator steps.
grinion (GRIN yun) - n. The unsightly indentation in themiddle of a belt when it has been worn too long.
gription (GRIP shun - n. The sound of sneakers squeakingagainst the floor during basketball games.
grisknob (GRIS nahb) - n. The end of a chicken drumstickwhich always gives the appearance of having more chicken
on it.
gromaxes (GROM ack sis) - n. The inside area of the kneesused to grip the steering wheel when holding a road map.
gurmlish (GURM lish) - n. The red warning flag at the topof a club sandwich toothpick which prevents the person from
biting into it and puncturing the roof of his mouth.
hangle (HAN gul) - n. A cluster of coat hangers.hem dangling outside the door of a moving vehicle.
hempannant (HEM pan ent) - n. Any coattail, cuff, or dress
hozone (HO zohn) - n. The place where one sock in everylaundry load disappears to.
hudnut (HUD nut) - n. The bolt left over when one hasfinished reassembling a bicycle or car engine.
hydralation (hi dra LAY shun) - n. Acclimating oneself toa cold swimming pool by bodily regions: toe-to-knee,
knee-to-waist, waist-to-elbow, elbow-to-neck.
hystioblogination (HIS te o blahg in AY shun) - n. The actof trying to identify a gift by holding it to your ear and
shaking it.
idiot box (ID e ot bahks) - n. The part of the envelopethat tells a person WHERE to palce the stamp when they can't
quite figure it out for themselves.
ignisecond (IG ni sek und) - n. The overlapping moment oftime when the hand is locking the car door even as the brain
is saying "my keys are in there!"
jiffylust (JI phee lust) - n. The inability to be thefirst person to carve into a brand-new beautiful jar of
peanut butter.
kedophobia (ked oh FO be uh) - n. The fear of having one'ssneakers eaten by the teeth on the escalator.
knimpel (NIM pul) - n. The missing last piece of a jigsawpuzzle.
krogt (kraht) - n. (chemical symbol: Kr) The metallicsilver coating found on fast-food game cards.
lactomangulation (LAK to man gyu LAY shun) - n.Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so badly
that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side.
laminites (LAM in itz) - n. Those strange people who showup in the photo sections of brand-new wallets.
lotshock (LAHT shahk) - n. The act of parking your car,walking away, and then watching it roll past you.
lub (lub) - n. The small deposit of spinach that lodgesitself between one's teeth.
McMonia (muk MOAN ee uh) - n. (chemical symbol: Mc)Noxious gas created by fast-food employee mopping under your
table while you're eating.
maggit (MAG it) - n. Any of the hundreds of subscriptioncards that fall from the pages of a magazine.
(pl. MAGGREGATE).
magniphobia ( mag ni FO be uh) - n. The fear that theobject in the side mirror is MUCH MUCH closer than it
appears.
magnocartic (mag no KAR tik) - n. Any automobile that,when left unattended, attracts shopping carts.
manglazette (mang la ZET) - n. The newspaper at the top ofthe stack that everyone passes over, believing the ones
beneath have better or fresher news.
marp (marp) - n. The impossible-to-find beginning of aroll of cellophane tape.
mattrescotting ( MAT res kot ing) - n. The pattern of grayand white lines on an institutional mattress.
maypop (MAY pop) - n. A bald tire.the bottom of the bag.
memnants (MEM nents) - n. The chipped or broken M&M's at
merferator (MUR fur ay ter) - n. The cardboard core in atoilet tissue roll.
methylphobia (meth il FO be uh) - n. The fear that you aregoing to have to pay the one cent you over-pumped at the
self-service station.
mittsquinter (MIT skwint ur) - n. A ball player who looksinto his glove after missing the ball, as if, somehow, the
cause of the error lies there.
mophenes (MO feenz) - n. The semi-truck headlights thatinvade your motel room at three in the morning.
motspur (MOT sper) - n. The pesky fourth wheel on ashopping cart that refuses to cooperate with the others.
mowmuffins ( MO muh finz) - n. The dried accumulation ofgrass on the underside of lawnmowers.
mumphreys (MUM freez) - n. (a useless sniglet) Thosestrange extra digits you find on push-button phones.
musquirt (MUS kwirt) - n. The water that comes out of theinitial squirts of a squeeze mustard bottle.
mustgo (MUST go) - n. Any item of food that has beensitting in the refrigerator so long that it has become a
science project.
napjerk (NAP jurk) - n. The sudden convulsion of the bodyjust as one is about to doze off.
narcolepulacy (nar ko LEP ul ah see) - n. The contagiousaction of yawning, causing everyone else in sight to also
yawn.
neglintics (ne GLIN tiks) - n. The study of why dark lintattaches itself to light clothing and vice versa.
neonphancy (ne ON fan see) - n. A fluorescent light bulbstruggling to come to life.
nerkle (NUR kel) - n. A person who leaves Christmas lightsup all year.
nevitts (NEV itz) - n. The sandpaper-like deposits on acat's tongue.
nistols ( NIZ tolz) - n. The small rubbery pads on thebottom of a dog's paw.
niz (niz) - n. An annoying hair at the top of a moviescreen.
nugloo (NUG lew) - n. The single continuous eyebrow thatcovers the entire forehead.
oatgap (OHT gap) - n. The empty space in a cereal boxcreated by "settling during shipment."
opling (OH pling) - n. The act, when feeding a baby, ofopening and closing one's mouth, smacking one's lips and
making yummy noises, in the hope that baby will do the same.
optortionist (op TOR shun ist) - n. The kid in school whocan turn his eyelids inside out.
orogami (or oh GA mee) - n. The miraculous folding processthat allows Kleenexes to methodically emerge from the box
one at a time.
orosuctuous (or oh SUK chew us) - adj. Being able to holda glass to one's face by sheer lung power.
pediddel (pe DID ul) - n. A car with only one workingheadlight. (Related to LEDDIDEP: a car with only one
working taillight. )
pedlock (PED lahk) - n. The condition of a bicycle pedalwedging itself against the kickstand.
pelp (pelp) - n. The crumbs and food particles thataccumulate in the cracks of dining tables.
penciventilation (pen si ven ti LAY shun) - n. The act ofblowing on the tip of a pencil after sharpening it.
percuburp (PER kyu berp) - n. The final gasp a coffeepercolator makes to alert you it is ready.
petribar (PET ri bar) - n. Any sun-bleached prehistoriccandy that has been sitting in the window of a vending
machine too long .
petrool (PET rul) - n. The slow, seemingly endless strandof motor oil at the end of the can.
pewtone (pyu TONE) - n. (chemical symbol: Pu) A majoratmospheric component of towns with paper mills.
phistel (FIS tul) - n. The brake pedal on the passengerside of the car that you wish existed when you're riding
with a lunatic.
phonesia (fo NEE zhuh) - n. The affliction of dialing aphone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as
they answer.
phosflink (FOS flink) - v. To flick a bulb on and off whenit burns out (as if, somehow, that will bring it back to
life).
photoyokel (fo to YO kul) - n. A person who presses thewrong button on a film camera causing it to dismantle.
phozzle (FO zul) - n. The buildup of dust on a recordneedle.
picklettulance (pik ul ET yu lans) - n. The ability toremember the entire family's order at a fast-food
restaurant.
pifflesquit (PIF ul skwit) - n. The wire net surroundingthe cork of a champagne bottle.
pillsburglar (PILZ berg ler) - n. Person able to samplethe icing on a new cake without leaving a fingerprint.
piyan (PI an) - n. (acronym: "Plus If You Act Now") Anymiscellaneous item thrown in on a late night television ad.
(Example: a pitchman trying to sell an all purpose carving
knife..."it's the only knife you'll ever need. Plus if you
act now, this complete set of steak knives...")
point blimfark (poynt BLIM fark) - n. The point at whichthe wheels on a stagecoach appear to turn in the opposite
direction.
porkus non gratis (POR kus non GRAT is) - n. The scragglypiece of bacon at the bottom of the package.
premblememblemation (prim blum em blum AY shun) - n.Whenever you drop a letter in the mailbox, you always
re-check to make sure it's gone down.
profanitype (pro FAN i tipe) - n. The special symbols usedby cartoonists to replace swear words (points, asterisks,
stars, and so on). It is yet to be determined which
specific character represents which specific expletive.
psychophobia (sy ko FO be uh) - n. The compulsion, whenusing a host's bathroom, to peer behind the shower curtain
and make sure no one is waiting for you.
pupkus (PUP kus) - n. The moist residue left on a windowafter a dog presses its nose to it.
purpitation (per pi TAY shun) - v. To take something offthe grocery shelf, decide you don't want it, and then put it
in another section.
retrocarbonic (ret to kar BON ic) - n. Any drink machinethat dispenses the soda before the cup.
riceroach (RYS rohch) - n. The burnt krispie in every bowlof Rice Krispies.
rignition (rig NI shun) - n. The embarrassing action oftrying to start one's car with the engine already running.
rocktose (ROK tohs) - n. The hard lumps that block thepouring spouts of sugar dispensers.
rovalert (RO val urt) - n. The system whereby one dog canquickly establish an entire neighborhood network of barking.
rubuncles (RU bunk ulz) - n. The bumps on an uncookedchicken.
sark (sark) - n. The marks left on one's ankle afterwearing tube socks all day.
scadink (SKA dink) - n. The annoying buildup of ink on theend of a ball-point pen.
scandroids (SKAN droydz) - n. The striped price codeswhich mysteriously began appearing on consumer products a
few years ago.
schlattwhapper (SCHLAT wap ur) - n. The window shade thatallows itself to be pulled down, hesitates for a second,
then snaps up in your face.
schnuffel (SCHNUF ul) - n. A dog's practice ofcontinuously nuzzling your crotch in mixed company.
scrabitch (SKRAB ich) - n. The impossible-to-reach area inthe middle of the back which can never be scratched.
scribline (SKRIB line) - n. The blank area on the back ofcredit cards where one's signature goes.
scrit (skrit) - n. Anything that's been in the same placefor at least fifty years without being used, such as the
archaic bottles of hair tonic on a barber's counter.
shirtlop (SHURT lahp) - n. The condition of a shirt thathas been improperly buttoned.
shoefly (SHEW fliy) - n. The aeronautical terminology fora football player who misses the punt and launches his shoe
instead.
shuggleftulation (shug lef tuyl AY shun) - n. The actionstwo people approaching, trying to get around each other, and
muttering "thanks for the dance."
sirlines (SIR lines) - n. The lines on a grilled steak.one's own trousers while trying to pull them on without
slackjam (SLAK jam) - n. The condition of being trapped in
first removing the shoes.
sloopage (SLU paj) - n. The tendency of hot dogs,hamburgers, and sandwich contents to slip from between their
covers.
slotgreed (SLOT greed) - n. The habit of checking everycoin return one passes for change.
slurm (slerm) - n. The slime that accumulates on theunderside of a soap bar when it sits in the dish too long.
slutures (SLEW chers) - n. The four white threads thatprotrude from Levis after the tag has been removed.
sniffleridge (SNIF ul rij) - n. The trough leading fromthe nose to the upper lip.
snorfing (SNORF ing) - n. The little game waitresses loveto play of waiting until your mouth is full before sneaking
up and asking, "Is everything okay?"
spagmumps (SPAG mumps) - n. Any of the millions ofStyrofoam wads that accompany mail-order items. (Also,
SPAGBULLIONS: custom fitted Styrofoam blocks that accompany
stereo equipment.)
speclums (SPEK lums) - n. The minuscule bumps on astrawberry.
speraws (SPER awz) - n. The pinched marks on the ends ofhot dogs.
spibble (SPIB ul) - n. The metal barrier on a rotary phonethat prevents you from dailing past 0.
spirobits (SPY ro bits) - n. The frayed bits of left-behind paper in a spiral notebook.
spirtle (SPUR tul) - n. The fine stream from a grapefruitthat always lands right in your eye.
spork (spork) - n. The combination spoon/fork you find infast food restauraunts.
sprachett (SPRA chit) - n. The rubber bar at a checkoutcounter that separates one load of groceries from another.
spubbling (SPUB ling) - v. The superhuman feat of tryingto wash one's hands and manipulate the "water saving"
faucets at the same time.
squalkeenus (skwal KE nus) - n. The shock syndrome thatcomes from biting into a popsicle with one's front teeth.
squatcho (SKWATCH oh) - n. The button at the top of abaseball cap.
stroodle (STRU dul) - n. The annoying strand of cheesestretching from a slice of hot pizza to one's mouth.
The following is a complete list of sniglets that have appeared
on this newsgroup so far, with a few additions:
Sniglet = Any word which should be in the dictionary but isn't.
SNIGLETS ABOUT FOOD
-------------------
Cornextortion = When you go to the movie theatre and ask for a small popcorn,
the guy behind the counter says, "for ONLY 25 cents more you can
get a large popcorn". Moviegoers, watch out for this common
tactic.
Crispthian = Any actor who is hired basically because his name helps sell
the cereal, i.e. Captian Crunch. Snap, Crackle, and Pop from
"Rice Krispies" are also crispthians. No one would hire them
if their names were "Sputter", "Thutter", and "Whizz", would they?
Foodwinking = The practice of giving exotic names to otherwise mundane
products. For example, "Salsa Rio flavored Doritos"
Milkdudes = Any two milk duds fused together by accident.
Newtrons = The magnetized particles that amazingly hold some fig newtons
together.
Oatamatopoiea = The sound that the cereal "Captain Crunch" makes when you
pour milk over it.
Snackmosphere = The 95% air inside bags of potato chips.
Sub-atomic toasticles = The little bits of toast that somehow always get
stuck on the stick of butter.
SNIGLETS ABOUT MAPS
-------------------
Continentertinter = The person in a mapmaking company whose job is to
decide what color a specific country is going to be.
Gapiana = The little strip of land between the "You are now leaving"
and "You are now entering" signs when you cross from one state
into another.
Geosniglet = Any word that should be in the atlas but isn't.
Hawaska = In an atlas, the rectangular box which contains Hawaii and
Alaska and is located just off the coast of Arizona.
SNIGLETS ABOUT SHOPPING
-----------------------
Hereoglyph = A little stick figure on a mallmanac (see below) that tells you
where you are in a mall because you can't tell by yourself
because there is no face on it. (Often the words "You Are Here"
occur at the bottom of the hereoglyph)
Mallmanac = In a mall, the giant maze with blocks and numbers on it, otherwise
known as the "Directory".
OTHER SNIGLETS
--------------
Delusions of Greendeur = Sometimes products will try to pander to you
consciousness by claiming to be ozone friendly, environmentally-
safe, ... no animal testing required. These products are called
"Delusions of Greendeur". For example, Glad bags. It actually
says on the back of the box, "Can be incenerated safely,
providing more fuel value than wood or coal." What does this
mean? You can actually heat your house, cook with Glad bags? Discombebopulated = Whenever you are driving along and you can't find a
house, and you have the address in your hand, and you can't
find the address, so you turn the radio down. Somehow, this
will help you find the house easier. If you ever find yourself
doing this, then you are discombebopulated.
Exxonerated = Lets say that a CERTAIN oil tanker captain gets cranked up
and wipes out the Alaskan coastline, but he only gets charged
with criminal mischief, which kind of sounds like all he did
was tape "kick me" signs to the backs of penguins. Well, then
you can describe that captain as "Exxonerated".
Flushmania = When you go into a public restroom, and the whole place
STINKS AS HELL, you flush ALL the toilets before doing
what YOU have to do. (Related to Flushamnesia = When you
forget to flush the toilet in a public restroom.)
Barfaroma = The stink that eminates from a person immediately after he has
thrown up.
The following list was sent to me from GPF103%PSUVM.bitnet@cunyvm.cuny.edu:
/* SNIGLET EXEC */
/* */
/* Sniglet */
/* */
/* (SNIG lit) - n. Any word that doesn't appear in the */
/* dictionary, but should. */
/* */
/* */
/* Book written by Richard Hall and friends. */
/* Published by Collier Books, Macmillan Publishing Company */
/* Original Author of Exec unknown. */
/* Modified 01/20/88 by The Fiend (RCW101@PSUVM) */
[lots of stuff deleted - don't worry, there weren't any sniglets here]
/*SNIGLETS
abzot (AB zaht) - n. The device in a currency changer thatdetermines whether a bill is too wrinkled or not.
accordionated (ah KOR de on ay tid) - adj. Being able todrive and refold a road map at the same time.
aeroma (ayr OH ma) - n. The odor emanating from anexercise room after an aerobics workout.
aeropalmics (ayr o PALM iks) - n. The study of windresistance conducted by holding a cupped hand out the car
window.
alponium (al PO nee um) - n. (chemical symbol: Ap) Initialblast of odor upon opening a can of dog food.
ambiportalous (am bih PORT ahl us) - adj. Possessing theuncanny knack for approaching a set of double doors and
ALWAYS pushing the locked one.
anaception (an a SEP shun) - n. The body's ability toactually affect television reception by moving about the
room.
antalixic (and a LIK sik) - n. One who passes overlicorice jelly beans.
anticiparcellate (an ti si PAR sel ate) - v. Waiting untilthe mailman is several houses down the street before picking
up the mail, so as not to appear too anxious.
aquadextrous (ak wa DEKS trus) - adj. Possessing theability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
aqualibrium (ak wa LIB re um) - n. The point where thestream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height,
thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the
nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye.
arachnidiot (ar ak NI di ot) - n. A person, who, havingwandered into an "invisible" spider web begins gyrating and
flailing about wildly.
attrinyl (a TRY nil) - n. (chemical symbol: At) A black,bulletproof, totally inflexible type of plastic, used
primarily in covers of pay phone directories.
bandile (BAN dyl) - n. The thin red strip one pulls torelease a Band-Aid.
bargarcs (BAR jarks) - n. The streaks on a car'swindshield from faulty wipers.
bathquake (BATH kwake) - n. The violent quake that rattlesthe entire house when the water faucet is turned to a
certain point.
bevameter (BEV a meet uhr) - n. (a unit of measure) Thedistance a coaster, attached to the bottom of a wet glass,
will travel before it falls back to earth.
bleemus (BLEE mus) - n. The disgusting film on the top ofsoups and cocoa that sit out for too long.
blibula (BLIH byu luh) - n. The spot on a dog's stomachwhich, when rubbed, causes his leg to rotate wildly.
blindelize (BLIN dul eyes) - v. To scratch an album beyondrecognition trying to maneuver it over the record spindle.
blithwapping (BLITH wap ing) - v. Using anything BUT ahammer to hammer a nail into the wall, such as shoes, lamp
bases, door stops, etc.
blivett (BLIH vit) - v. To turn one's pillow over andover, looking for the cool spot.
blotch (blahch) - v. To slap the bottom of a catsup bottlewith increasing intensity, ultimately resulting in a
BLOTCHSLIDE.
bobblogesture (bah blo JES cher) - n. The classroomactivity of not knowing an answer but raising one's hand
anyway (after determining a sufficient number of other
people have also raised their hands, thus reducing the
likelihood of actually being called on).
boslum (BAHZ lum) - n. The small metal ring on a ballpointpen that separates the top half (MELANEXUS) from the bottom
half (MOOSTERUS).
bovilexia (bo vil EKS e uh) - n. The uncontrollable urgeto lean out the car window and yell "Moo!!" every time you
pass a cow.
brattled (BRAT uld) - adj. The unsettling feeling, at astoplight, that the busload of kids that just pulled up
beside you is making fun of you.
brimplet (BRIM plit) - n. A frayed shoelace that must bemoistened to pass through a shoe eyelet.
bucklint (BUCK lint) - n. The fine red and blue threadsrunning through new dollar bills.
buculets (BUK u lets) - n. The bumper guards on theunderside of a toilet seat.
bumperglints (BUMP ur glintz) - n. The small reflectiveobstacles in the middle of interstate highways which
supposedly keep drivers awake and on the track.
burbulation (ber byu LAY shun) - n. The obsessive act ofopening and closing a refrigerator door in an attempt to
catch it before the little automatic light comes on.
bursploot (BER sploot) - v. To position one's thumb at theend of a garden hose to increase the water pressure.
busblender (BUS blen dur) - v. The device at the front ofthe bus that tosses your fare around for awhile, then
swallows it.
cabnicreep (KAB nih kreep) - n. The structural conditionin which the closing of one kitchen cabinet causes another
to open.
careena (ka REEN uh) - n. Any mangled or missing piece ofhighway guard rail.
carperpetuation (KAR pur pet u a shun) - n. The act, whenvacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at
least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up,
examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum
ONE MORE CHANCE.
cereoallocative (ser e o AL o ka tuv) - adj. Describes theability of a seasoned breakfast eater to establish a perfect
cereal/ banana ratio, assuring there will be at least one
slice of banana left for the final spoonful of cereal.
chalktrauma (CHAWK traw ma) - n. The body's reaction tosomeone running his fingernails down a chalkboard.
charp (charp) - n. The green, mutant potato chip found inevery bag.
cheedle (CHEE dul) - n. The residue left on one'sfingertips after consuming a bag of Cheetos.
chingrip (CHIN grip) - n. The area where the chin meetsthe neck. Used for holding the pillow when slipping on a
pillowcase.
choconiverous (chahk o NIV ur us) - adj. The tendency wheneating a chocolate Easter bunny to bite off the head first.
chwads (chwadz) - n. The small, disgusting wads of bubblegum commonly found beneath table and counter tops.
cigadent (SIG a dent) - n. Any accident involving acigarette: for instance when it sticks to your lips while
your fingers slide off and get burned.
cinemuck (SI ne muk) - n.The combination of popcorn, soda,and melted chocolate which covers the floors of movie
theaters.
circlocryogenic theory (sur klo kri o JEN ik THE ur ree)- n. Postulates that no matter which way you turn a glass of
ice water, the cubes will to the back. (Further research has
established t hat one piece of ice will always stick to the
bottom of any empty glass until tapped, at which point it
will come forward and smack the drinker on the end of his
nose.)
circuloin technique (SUR kew loyn tek NEEK) - n. Thepopular approach to steak dining in which one eats around
the edges first, then works his way toward the middle.
clumfert (KLUM furt) - n. The invisible extra step at thetop and bottom of a staircase. Usually materializes when
one is carrying a large bag of groceries.
coeggulant (ko EG yu lent) - n. The white things in aplate of scrambled eggs.
conagraphs (KOHN a grafs) - n. The raised relief squareson an ice cream cone.
creedles (KRE dulz) - n. The colony of microscopicindentations on a golfball.
crummox (KRUM oks) - n. The cereal that gets caughtbetween the inner lining and the side of the box. Also, the
leftover amount at the bottom. (Not enough to eat, but too
much to throw away. )
curbswell (KERB swel) - n. A seismic condition in whichthe curb on the passenger side of a car will rise and wedge a
car door. The passenger must then climb out and stand on the
curb until the swelling goes down.
dasho (DA show) - n. The area between a car's windshieldand dashboard, where coins, pencils, etc. cannot be humanly
retrieved.
deterrency (de TER ren see) - n. The ruined currency foundin pants pockets after laundering.
detruncus (de TRUNK us) - n. The embarrassing phenomenonof losing one's bathing shorts while diving into a swimming
pool.
disconfect (dis kon FECT) - v. To sterilize the piece ofcandy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow
assuming this will "remove" all the germs.
door slinky (dor SLIN kee) - n. The springy deviceattached to the back of a door that prevents the door from
marring the wall.
dublectate (duh BLEK tayt) - v. To misplace one'seyeglasses and eventually discover them atop one's head.
ecnalubma (ek na LUB ma) - n. A rescue vehicle which canonly be seen in the rear-view mirror.
elbonics (el BON iks) - n. The action of two peoplemaneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
elecelleration (el a cel er AY shun) - n. The mistakennotion that the more you press an elevator button the faster
it will arrive.
equatt (E kwat) - n. The pastime of trying to balance thelight switch in the exact middle of the wall plate, so that
the light is half on, half off.
erdu (UHR dew) - n. The leftover accumulation of rubberparticles after erasing a mistake on a test paper.
escalasticize (esk a LAST i size) - v. To lean against therail of a moving escalator and have the sensation of being
pulled in t he opposite
directions.
euneeblic (you NEE blik) - n. A person who refuses tobelieve an "out of order" sign and risks his money anyway.
expressholes (eks PRES holz) - n. People who try to sneakmore than the "eight items or less" into the express
checkout line.
fenderberg (FEN dur burg) - n. The large glacial depositsthat form on the insides of car fenders during snowstorms.
flannister (FLAN is tur) - n. The plastic yoke that holdsa six-pack of beer together.
flen (flen) - n. (chemical symbol: Fl) The black crustyresidue that accumulates on the necks of old catsup bottles.
fleptic (FLEP tik) - adj. The tendency of soup and dogfood lids to slip into the can upon opening.
flirr (flur) - n. A photograph that features the cameraoperator's finger in the corner.
floles (floz) - n. The extra (fourth and fifth) holes innotebook paper. Created in the hopes that oneday mankind
will perfect a "five ring binder."
flopcorn (FLOP korn) - n. The unpopped kernels at thebottom of the cooker.
flotion (FLO shun) - n. The tendency when sharing awaterbed to undulate for five minutes every time the other
person moves.
flotta factor (FLAH ta FAK tur) - n. The provenscientific fact that at a self-service pump, the last ten
cents take longer to reach the tank than the first twelve
dollars' worth.
flowfright (FLO frite) - n. The desperate attempt by ahomeowner to talk his overflowing toilet into backing down.
fluggling (FLUG ul ing) - v. The dangerous practice, in adarkened room, of using one's finger to guide the end of an
electrical plug into a wall socket.
fraznit (FRAHS nit) - n. Any string hanging from anarticle of clothing, which when pulled causes the article to
completely unravel.
frust (frust) - n. The small line of debris that refusesto be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person
across the room until he finally decides to give up and
sweep it under the rug.
furbling (FER bling) - v. Having to wander through a mazeof ropes at an airport of bank even when you are the only
person in line.
furnidents (FER nih dents) - n. The indentations thatappear in carpets after a piece of furniture has been
removed.
furterus zone (fer TER us zohn) - n. The empty stretchesof bun on either end of a hot dog.
garmites (GAR mitz) - n. Those items of clothing that fitperfectly in the store, but somehow shrink on the way home.
genderplex (JEN dur pleks) - n. The predicament of aperson in a theme restaurant who is unable to determine his
or her designated bathroom (e.g., turtles and tortoises).
gertatious (gur TAY shus) - adj. Having the adolescentfear that hanging one's arm over the bed at night will mean
being dragged under.
gimplexus (gim PLEK sis) - n. The rear area of the thighs,which must be peeled from the car seat on hot summer days.
gladhandling (GLAD han dling) - n. To attempt, withfrustrating results, to find and separate the ends of a
plastic-sandwich or trash bag.
glantics (GLAN tiks) - n. Two people, who, while makingout, open their eyes at the same time to see if the other
is looking.
glarpo (GLAR po) - n. The juncture of the ear and skullwhere pencils are stored.
gleemule (GLEE mule) - n. (a unit of measure) One unit oftoothpaste, measured from bristle to bristle. (Not to be
confused with GLEEMITES, which are petrified deposits of
toothpaste found in sinks.)
glutetic chair (glew TET ik chair) - adj. A twentieth-century design chair, found most often in movie theaters.
The main feature of the Glutetic chair is its ability to
keep folding up underneath a person as he tries to force it
down with his rear.
gnarmblum (NARM blum) - n. The dry wrinkly area at the endof the elbow.
grackles (GRAK elz) - n. The wrinkles that appear on thebody after staying in water too long.
greelite (GREE lite) - n. The eerie glow that emanatesfrom beneath escalator steps.
grinion (GRIN yun) - n. The unsightly indentation in themiddle of a belt when it has been worn too long.
gription (GRIP shun - n. The sound of sneakers squeakingagainst the floor during basketball games.
grisknob (GRIS nahb) - n. The end of a chicken drumstickwhich always gives the appearance of having more chicken
on it.
gromaxes (GROM ack sis) - n. The inside area of the kneesused to grip the steering wheel when holding a road map.
gurmlish (GURM lish) - n. The red warning flag at the topof a club sandwich toothpick which prevents the person from
biting into it and puncturing the roof of his mouth.
hangle (HAN gul) - n. A cluster of coat hangers.hem dangling outside the door of a moving vehicle.
hempannant (HEM pan ent) - n. Any coattail, cuff, or dress
hozone (HO zohn) - n. The place where one sock in everylaundry load disappears to.
hudnut (HUD nut) - n. The bolt left over when one hasfinished reassembling a bicycle or car engine.
hydralation (hi dra LAY shun) - n. Acclimating oneself toa cold swimming pool by bodily regions: toe-to-knee,
knee-to-waist, waist-to-elbow, elbow-to-neck.
hystioblogination (HIS te o blahg in AY shun) - n. The actof trying to identify a gift by holding it to your ear and
shaking it.
idiot box (ID e ot bahks) - n. The part of the envelopethat tells a person WHERE to palce the stamp when they can't
quite figure it out for themselves.
ignisecond (IG ni sek und) - n. The overlapping moment oftime when the hand is locking the car door even as the brain
is saying "my keys are in there!"
jiffylust (JI phee lust) - n. The inability to be thefirst person to carve into a brand-new beautiful jar of
peanut butter.
kedophobia (ked oh FO be uh) - n. The fear of having one'ssneakers eaten by the teeth on the escalator.
knimpel (NIM pul) - n. The missing last piece of a jigsawpuzzle.
krogt (kraht) - n. (chemical symbol: Kr) The metallicsilver coating found on fast-food game cards.
lactomangulation (LAK to man gyu LAY shun) - n.Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so badly
that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side.
laminites (LAM in itz) - n. Those strange people who showup in the photo sections of brand-new wallets.
lotshock (LAHT shahk) - n. The act of parking your car,walking away, and then watching it roll past you.
lub (lub) - n. The small deposit of spinach that lodgesitself between one's teeth.
McMonia (muk MOAN ee uh) - n. (chemical symbol: Mc)Noxious gas created by fast-food employee mopping under your
table while you're eating.
maggit (MAG it) - n. Any of the hundreds of subscriptioncards that fall from the pages of a magazine.
(pl. MAGGREGATE).
magniphobia ( mag ni FO be uh) - n. The fear that theobject in the side mirror is MUCH MUCH closer than it
appears.
magnocartic (mag no KAR tik) - n. Any automobile that,when left unattended, attracts shopping carts.
manglazette (mang la ZET) - n. The newspaper at the top ofthe stack that everyone passes over, believing the ones
beneath have better or fresher news.
marp (marp) - n. The impossible-to-find beginning of aroll of cellophane tape.
mattrescotting ( MAT res kot ing) - n. The pattern of grayand white lines on an institutional mattress.
maypop (MAY pop) - n. A bald tire.the bottom of the bag.
memnants (MEM nents) - n. The chipped or broken M&M's at
merferator (MUR fur ay ter) - n. The cardboard core in atoilet tissue roll.
methylphobia (meth il FO be uh) - n. The fear that you aregoing to have to pay the one cent you over-pumped at the
self-service station.
mittsquinter (MIT skwint ur) - n. A ball player who looksinto his glove after missing the ball, as if, somehow, the
cause of the error lies there.
mophenes (MO feenz) - n. The semi-truck headlights thatinvade your motel room at three in the morning.
motspur (MOT sper) - n. The pesky fourth wheel on ashopping cart that refuses to cooperate with the others.
mowmuffins ( MO muh finz) - n. The dried accumulation ofgrass on the underside of lawnmowers.
mumphreys (MUM freez) - n. (a useless sniglet) Thosestrange extra digits you find on push-button phones.
musquirt (MUS kwirt) - n. The water that comes out of theinitial squirts of a squeeze mustard bottle.
mustgo (MUST go) - n. Any item of food that has beensitting in the refrigerator so long that it has become a
science project.
napjerk (NAP jurk) - n. The sudden convulsion of the bodyjust as one is about to doze off.
narcolepulacy (nar ko LEP ul ah see) - n. The contagiousaction of yawning, causing everyone else in sight to also
yawn.
neglintics (ne GLIN tiks) - n. The study of why dark lintattaches itself to light clothing and vice versa.
neonphancy (ne ON fan see) - n. A fluorescent light bulbstruggling to come to life.
nerkle (NUR kel) - n. A person who leaves Christmas lightsup all year.
nevitts (NEV itz) - n. The sandpaper-like deposits on acat's tongue.
nistols ( NIZ tolz) - n. The small rubbery pads on thebottom of a dog's paw.
niz (niz) - n. An annoying hair at the top of a moviescreen.
nugloo (NUG lew) - n. The single continuous eyebrow thatcovers the entire forehead.
oatgap (OHT gap) - n. The empty space in a cereal boxcreated by "settling during shipment."
opling (OH pling) - n. The act, when feeding a baby, ofopening and closing one's mouth, smacking one's lips and
making yummy noises, in the hope that baby will do the same.
optortionist (op TOR shun ist) - n. The kid in school whocan turn his eyelids inside out.
orogami (or oh GA mee) - n. The miraculous folding processthat allows Kleenexes to methodically emerge from the box
one at a time.
orosuctuous (or oh SUK chew us) - adj. Being able to holda glass to one's face by sheer lung power.
pediddel (pe DID ul) - n. A car with only one workingheadlight. (Related to LEDDIDEP: a car with only one
working taillight. )
pedlock (PED lahk) - n. The condition of a bicycle pedalwedging itself against the kickstand.
pelp (pelp) - n. The crumbs and food particles thataccumulate in the cracks of dining tables.
penciventilation (pen si ven ti LAY shun) - n. The act ofblowing on the tip of a pencil after sharpening it.
percuburp (PER kyu berp) - n. The final gasp a coffeepercolator makes to alert you it is ready.
petribar (PET ri bar) - n. Any sun-bleached prehistoriccandy that has been sitting in the window of a vending
machine too long .
petrool (PET rul) - n. The slow, seemingly endless strandof motor oil at the end of the can.
pewtone (pyu TONE) - n. (chemical symbol: Pu) A majoratmospheric component of towns with paper mills.
phistel (FIS tul) - n. The brake pedal on the passengerside of the car that you wish existed when you're riding
with a lunatic.
phonesia (fo NEE zhuh) - n. The affliction of dialing aphone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as
they answer.
phosflink (FOS flink) - v. To flick a bulb on and off whenit burns out (as if, somehow, that will bring it back to
life).
photoyokel (fo to YO kul) - n. A person who presses thewrong button on a film camera causing it to dismantle.
phozzle (FO zul) - n. The buildup of dust on a recordneedle.
picklettulance (pik ul ET yu lans) - n. The ability toremember the entire family's order at a fast-food
restaurant.
pifflesquit (PIF ul skwit) - n. The wire net surroundingthe cork of a champagne bottle.
pillsburglar (PILZ berg ler) - n. Person able to samplethe icing on a new cake without leaving a fingerprint.
piyan (PI an) - n. (acronym: "Plus If You Act Now") Anymiscellaneous item thrown in on a late night television ad.
(Example: a pitchman trying to sell an all purpose carving
knife..."it's the only knife you'll ever need. Plus if you
act now, this complete set of steak knives...")
point blimfark (poynt BLIM fark) - n. The point at whichthe wheels on a stagecoach appear to turn in the opposite
direction.
porkus non gratis (POR kus non GRAT is) - n. The scragglypiece of bacon at the bottom of the package.
premblememblemation (prim blum em blum AY shun) - n.Whenever you drop a letter in the mailbox, you always
re-check to make sure it's gone down.
profanitype (pro FAN i tipe) - n. The special symbols usedby cartoonists to replace swear words (points, asterisks,
stars, and so on). It is yet to be determined which
specific character represents which specific expletive.
psychophobia (sy ko FO be uh) - n. The compulsion, whenusing a host's bathroom, to peer behind the shower curtain
and make sure no one is waiting for you.
pupkus (PUP kus) - n. The moist residue left on a windowafter a dog presses its nose to it.
purpitation (per pi TAY shun) - v. To take something offthe grocery shelf, decide you don't want it, and then put it
in another section.
retrocarbonic (ret to kar BON ic) - n. Any drink machinethat dispenses the soda before the cup.
riceroach (RYS rohch) - n. The burnt krispie in every bowlof Rice Krispies.
rignition (rig NI shun) - n. The embarrassing action oftrying to start one's car with the engine already running.
rocktose (ROK tohs) - n. The hard lumps that block thepouring spouts of sugar dispensers.
rovalert (RO val urt) - n. The system whereby one dog canquickly establish an entire neighborhood network of barking.
rubuncles (RU bunk ulz) - n. The bumps on an uncookedchicken.
sark (sark) - n. The marks left on one's ankle afterwearing tube socks all day.
scadink (SKA dink) - n. The annoying buildup of ink on theend of a ball-point pen.
scandroids (SKAN droydz) - n. The striped price codeswhich mysteriously began appearing on consumer products a
few years ago.
schlattwhapper (SCHLAT wap ur) - n. The window shade thatallows itself to be pulled down, hesitates for a second,
then snaps up in your face.
schnuffel (SCHNUF ul) - n. A dog's practice ofcontinuously nuzzling your crotch in mixed company.
scrabitch (SKRAB ich) - n. The impossible-to-reach area inthe middle of the back which can never be scratched.
scribline (SKRIB line) - n. The blank area on the back ofcredit cards where one's signature goes.
scrit (skrit) - n. Anything that's been in the same placefor at least fifty years without being used, such as the
archaic bottles of hair tonic on a barber's counter.
shirtlop (SHURT lahp) - n. The condition of a shirt thathas been improperly buttoned.
shoefly (SHEW fliy) - n. The aeronautical terminology fora football player who misses the punt and launches his shoe
instead.
shuggleftulation (shug lef tuyl AY shun) - n. The actionstwo people approaching, trying to get around each other, and
muttering "thanks for the dance."
sirlines (SIR lines) - n. The lines on a grilled steak.one's own trousers while trying to pull them on without
slackjam (SLAK jam) - n. The condition of being trapped in
first removing the shoes.
sloopage (SLU paj) - n. The tendency of hot dogs,hamburgers, and sandwich contents to slip from between their
covers.
slotgreed (SLOT greed) - n. The habit of checking everycoin return one passes for change.
slurm (slerm) - n. The slime that accumulates on theunderside of a soap bar when it sits in the dish too long.
slutures (SLEW chers) - n. The four white threads thatprotrude from Levis after the tag has been removed.
sniffleridge (SNIF ul rij) - n. The trough leading fromthe nose to the upper lip.
snorfing (SNORF ing) - n. The little game waitresses loveto play of waiting until your mouth is full before sneaking
up and asking, "Is everything okay?"
spagmumps (SPAG mumps) - n. Any of the millions ofStyrofoam wads that accompany mail-order items. (Also,
SPAGBULLIONS: custom fitted Styrofoam blocks that accompany
stereo equipment.)
speclums (SPEK lums) - n. The minuscule bumps on astrawberry.
speraws (SPER awz) - n. The pinched marks on the ends ofhot dogs.
spibble (SPIB ul) - n. The metal barrier on a rotary phonethat prevents you from dailing past 0.
spirobits (SPY ro bits) - n. The frayed bits of left-behind paper in a spiral notebook.
spirtle (SPUR tul) - n. The fine stream from a grapefruitthat always lands right in your eye.
spork (spork) - n. The combination spoon/fork you find infast food restauraunts.
sprachett (SPRA chit) - n. The rubber bar at a checkoutcounter that separates one load of groceries from another.
spubbling (SPUB ling) - v. The superhuman feat of tryingto wash one's hands and manipulate the "water saving"
faucets at the same time.
squalkeenus (skwal KE nus) - n. The shock syndrome thatcomes from biting into a popsicle with one's front teeth.
squatcho (SKWATCH oh) - n. The button at the top of abaseball cap.
stroodle (STRU dul) - n. The annoying strand of cheesestretching from a slice of hot pizza to one's mouth.
liberzontia (v): The action of zoning out as you are reading and having to go back and reread
The following is a complete list of sniglets that have appeared
on this newsgroup so far, with a few additions:
Sniglet = Any word which should be in the dictionary but isn't.
SNIGLETS ABOUT FOOD
-------------------
Cornextortion = When you go to the movie theatre and ask for a small popcorn,
the guy behind the counter says, "for ONLY 25 cents more you can
get a large popcorn". Moviegoers, watch out for this common
tactic.
Crispthian = Any actor who is hired basically because his name helps sell
the cereal, i.e. Captian Crunch. Snap, Crackle, and Pop from
"Rice Krispies" are also crispthians. No one would hire them
if their names were "Sputter", "Thutter", and "Whizz", would they?
Foodwinking = The practice of giving exotic names to otherwise mundane
products. For example, "Salsa Rio flavored Doritos"
Milkdudes = Any two milk duds fused together by accident.
Newtrons = The magnetized particles that amazingly hold some fig newtons
together.
Oatamatopoiea = The sound that the cereal "Captain Crunch" makes when you
pour milk over it.
Snackmosphere = The 95% air inside bags of potato chips.
Sub-atomic toasticles = The little bits of toast that somehow always get
stuck on the stick of butter.
SNIGLETS ABOUT MAPS
-------------------
Continentertinter = The person in a mapmaking company whose job is to
decide what color a specific country is going to be.
Gapiana = The little strip of land between the "You are now leaving"
and "You are now entering" signs when you cross from one state
into another.
Geosniglet = Any word that should be in the atlas but isn't.
Hawaska = In an atlas, the rectangular box which contains Hawaii and
Alaska and is located just off the coast of Arizona.
SNIGLETS ABOUT SHOPPING
-----------------------
Hereoglyph = A little stick figure on a mallmanac (see below) that tells you
where you are in a mall because you can't tell by yourself
because there is no face on it. (Often the words "You Are Here"
occur at the bottom of the hereoglyph)
Mallmanac = In a mall, the giant maze with blocks and numbers on it, otherwise
known as the "Directory".
OTHER SNIGLETS
--------------
Delusions of Greendeur = Sometimes products will try to pander to you
consciousness by claiming to be ozone friendly, environmentally-
safe, ... no animal testing required. These products are called
"Delusions of Greendeur". For example, Glad bags. It actually
says on the back of the box, "Can be incenerated safely,
providing more fuel value than wood or coal." What does this
mean? You can actually heat your house, cook with Glad bags? Discombebopulated = Whenever you are driving along and you can't find a
house, and you have the address in your hand, and you can't
find the address, so you turn the radio down. Somehow, this
will help you find the house easier. If you ever find yourself
doing this, then you are discombebopulated.
Exxonerated = Lets say that a CERTAIN oil tanker captain gets cranked up
and wipes out the Alaskan coastline, but he only gets charged
with criminal mischief, which kind of sounds like all he did
was tape "kick me" signs to the backs of penguins. Well, then
you can describe that captain as "Exxonerated".
Flushmania = When you go into a public restroom, and the whole place
STINKS AS HELL, you flush ALL the toilets before doing
what YOU have to do. (Related to Flushamnesia = When you
forget to flush the toilet in a public restroom.)
Barfaroma = The stink that eminates from a person immediately after he has
thrown up.
The following list was sent to me from GPF103%PSUVM.bitnet@cunyvm.cuny.edu:
/* SNIGLET EXEC */
/* */
/* Sniglet */
/* */
/* (SNIG lit) - n. Any word that doesn't appear in the */
/* dictionary, but should. */
/* */
/* */
/* Book written by Richard Hall and friends. */
/* Published by Collier Books, Macmillan Publishing Company */
/* Original Author of Exec unknown. */
/* Modified 01/20/88 by The Fiend (RCW101@PSUVM) */
[lots of stuff deleted - don't worry, there weren't any sniglets here]
/*SNIGLETS
abzot (AB zaht) - n. The device in a currency changer thatdetermines whether a bill is too wrinkled or not.
accordionated (ah KOR de on ay tid) - adj. Being able todrive and refold a road map at the same time.
aeroma (ayr OH ma) - n. The odor emanating from anexercise room after an aerobics workout.
aeropalmics (ayr o PALM iks) - n. The study of windresistance conducted by holding a cupped hand out the car
window.
alponium (al PO nee um) - n. (chemical symbol: Ap) Initialblast of odor upon opening a can of dog food.
ambiportalous (am bih PORT ahl us) - adj. Possessing theuncanny knack for approaching a set of double doors and
ALWAYS pushing the locked one.
anaception (an a SEP shun) - n. The body's ability toactually affect television reception by moving about the
room.
antalixic (and a LIK sik) - n. One who passes overlicorice jelly beans.
anticiparcellate (an ti si PAR sel ate) - v. Waiting untilthe mailman is several houses down the street before picking
up the mail, so as not to appear too anxious.
aquadextrous (ak wa DEKS trus) - adj. Possessing theability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
aqualibrium (ak wa LIB re um) - n. The point where thestream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height,
thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the
nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye.
arachnidiot (ar ak NI di ot) - n. A person, who, havingwandered into an "invisible" spider web begins gyrating and
flailing about wildly.
attrinyl (a TRY nil) - n. (chemical symbol: At) A black,bulletproof, totally inflexible type of plastic, used
primarily in covers of pay phone directories.
bandile (BAN dyl) - n. The thin red strip one pulls torelease a Band-Aid.
bargarcs (BAR jarks) - n. The streaks on a car'swindshield from faulty wipers.
bathquake (BATH kwake) - n. The violent quake that rattlesthe entire house when the water faucet is turned to a
certain point.
bevameter (BEV a meet uhr) - n. (a unit of measure) Thedistance a coaster, attached to the bottom of a wet glass,
will travel before it falls back to earth.
bleemus (BLEE mus) - n. The disgusting film on the top ofsoups and cocoa that sit out for too long.
blibula (BLIH byu luh) - n. The spot on a dog's stomachwhich, when rubbed, causes his leg to rotate wildly.
blindelize (BLIN dul eyes) - v. To scratch an album beyondrecognition trying to maneuver it over the record spindle.
blithwapping (BLITH wap ing) - v. Using anything BUT ahammer to hammer a nail into the wall, such as shoes, lamp
bases, door stops, etc.
blivett (BLIH vit) - v. To turn one's pillow over andover, looking for the cool spot.
blotch (blahch) - v. To slap the bottom of a catsup bottlewith increasing intensity, ultimately resulting in a
BLOTCHSLIDE.
bobblogesture (bah blo JES cher) - n. The classroomactivity of not knowing an answer but raising one's hand
anyway (after determining a sufficient number of other
people have also raised their hands, thus reducing the
likelihood of actually being called on).
boslum (BAHZ lum) - n. The small metal ring on a ballpointpen that separates the top half (MELANEXUS) from the bottom
half (MOOSTERUS).
bovilexia (bo vil EKS e uh) - n. The uncontrollable urgeto lean out the car window and yell "Moo!!" every time you
pass a cow.
brattled (BRAT uld) - adj. The unsettling feeling, at astoplight, that the busload of kids that just pulled up
beside you is making fun of you.
brimplet (BRIM plit) - n. A frayed shoelace that must bemoistened to pass through a shoe eyelet.
bucklint (BUCK lint) - n. The fine red and blue threadsrunning through new dollar bills.
buculets (BUK u lets) - n. The bumper guards on theunderside of a toilet seat.
bumperglints (BUMP ur glintz) - n. The small reflectiveobstacles in the middle of interstate highways which
supposedly keep drivers awake and on the track.
burbulation (ber byu LAY shun) - n. The obsessive act ofopening and closing a refrigerator door in an attempt to
catch it before the little automatic light comes on.
bursploot (BER sploot) - v. To position one's thumb at theend of a garden hose to increase the water pressure.
busblender (BUS blen dur) - v. The device at the front ofthe bus that tosses your fare around for awhile, then
swallows it.
cabnicreep (KAB nih kreep) - n. The structural conditionin which the closing of one kitchen cabinet causes another
to open.
careena (ka REEN uh) - n. Any mangled or missing piece ofhighway guard rail.
carperpetuation (KAR pur pet u a shun) - n. The act, whenvacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at
least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up,
examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum
ONE MORE CHANCE.
cereoallocative (ser e o AL o ka tuv) - adj. Describes theability of a seasoned breakfast eater to establish a perfect
cereal/ banana ratio, assuring there will be at least one
slice of banana left for the final spoonful of cereal.
chalktrauma (CHAWK traw ma) - n. The body's reaction tosomeone running his fingernails down a chalkboard.
charp (charp) - n. The green, mutant potato chip found inevery bag.
cheedle (CHEE dul) - n. The residue left on one'sfingertips after consuming a bag of Cheetos.
chingrip (CHIN grip) - n. The area where the chin meetsthe neck. Used for holding the pillow when slipping on a
pillowcase.
choconiverous (chahk o NIV ur us) - adj. The tendency wheneating a chocolate Easter bunny to bite off the head first.
chwads (chwadz) - n. The small, disgusting wads of bubblegum commonly found beneath table and counter tops.
cigadent (SIG a dent) - n. Any accident involving acigarette: for instance when it sticks to your lips while
your fingers slide off and get burned.
cinemuck (SI ne muk) - n.The combination of popcorn, soda,and melted chocolate which covers the floors of movie
theaters.
circlocryogenic theory (sur klo kri o JEN ik THE ur ree)- n. Postulates that no matter which way you turn a glass of
ice water, the cubes will to the back. (Further research has
established t hat one piece of ice will always stick to the
bottom of any empty glass until tapped, at which point it
will come forward and smack the drinker on the end of his
nose.)
circuloin technique (SUR kew loyn tek NEEK) - n. Thepopular approach to steak dining in which one eats around
the edges first, then works his way toward the middle.
clumfert (KLUM furt) - n. The invisible extra step at thetop and bottom of a staircase. Usually materializes when
one is carrying a large bag of groceries.
coeggulant (ko EG yu lent) - n. The white things in aplate of scrambled eggs.
conagraphs (KOHN a grafs) - n. The raised relief squareson an ice cream cone.
creedles (KRE dulz) - n. The colony of microscopicindentations on a golfball.
crummox (KRUM oks) - n. The cereal that gets caughtbetween the inner lining and the side of the box. Also, the
leftover amount at the bottom. (Not enough to eat, but too
much to throw away. )
curbswell (KERB swel) - n. A seismic condition in whichthe curb on the passenger side of a car will rise and wedge a
car door. The passenger must then climb out and stand on the
curb until the swelling goes down.
dasho (DA show) - n. The area between a car's windshieldand dashboard, where coins, pencils, etc. cannot be humanly
retrieved.
deterrency (de TER ren see) - n. The ruined currency foundin pants pockets after laundering.
detruncus (de TRUNK us) - n. The embarrassing phenomenonof losing one's bathing shorts while diving into a swimming
pool.
disconfect (dis kon FECT) - v. To sterilize the piece ofcandy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow
assuming this will "remove" all the germs.
door slinky (dor SLIN kee) - n. The springy deviceattached to the back of a door that prevents the door from
marring the wall.
dublectate (duh BLEK tayt) - v. To misplace one'seyeglasses and eventually discover them atop one's head.
ecnalubma (ek na LUB ma) - n. A rescue vehicle which canonly be seen in the rear-view mirror.
elbonics (el BON iks) - n. The action of two peoplemaneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
elecelleration (el a cel er AY shun) - n. The mistakennotion that the more you press an elevator button the faster
it will arrive.
equatt (E kwat) - n. The pastime of trying to balance thelight switch in the exact middle of the wall plate, so that
the light is half on, half off.
erdu (UHR dew) - n. The leftover accumulation of rubberparticles after erasing a mistake on a test paper.
escalasticize (esk a LAST i size) - v. To lean against therail of a moving escalator and have the sensation of being
pulled in t he opposite
directions.
euneeblic (you NEE blik) - n. A person who refuses tobelieve an "out of order" sign and risks his money anyway.
expressholes (eks PRES holz) - n. People who try to sneakmore than the "eight items or less" into the express
checkout line.
fenderberg (FEN dur burg) - n. The large glacial depositsthat form on the insides of car fenders during snowstorms.
flannister (FLAN is tur) - n. The plastic yoke that holdsa six-pack of beer together.
flen (flen) - n. (chemical symbol: Fl) The black crustyresidue that accumulates on the necks of old catsup bottles.
fleptic (FLEP tik) - adj. The tendency of soup and dogfood lids to slip into the can upon opening.
flirr (flur) - n. A photograph that features the cameraoperator's finger in the corner.
floles (floz) - n. The extra (fourth and fifth) holes innotebook paper. Created in the hopes that oneday mankind
will perfect a "five ring binder."
flopcorn (FLOP korn) - n. The unpopped kernels at thebottom of the cooker.
flotion (FLO shun) - n. The tendency when sharing awaterbed to undulate for five minutes every time the other
person moves.
flotta factor (FLAH ta FAK tur) - n. The provenscientific fact that at a self-service pump, the last ten
cents take longer to reach the tank than the first twelve
dollars' worth.
flowfright (FLO frite) - n. The desperate attempt by ahomeowner to talk his overflowing toilet into backing down.
fluggling (FLUG ul ing) - v. The dangerous practice, in adarkened room, of using one's finger to guide the end of an
electrical plug into a wall socket.
fraznit (FRAHS nit) - n. Any string hanging from anarticle of clothing, which when pulled causes the article to
completely unravel.
frust (frust) - n. The small line of debris that refusesto be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person
across the room until he finally decides to give up and
sweep it under the rug.
furbling (FER bling) - v. Having to wander through a mazeof ropes at an airport of bank even when you are the only
person in line.
furnidents (FER nih dents) - n. The indentations thatappear in carpets after a piece of furniture has been
removed.
furterus zone (fer TER us zohn) - n. The empty stretchesof bun on either end of a hot dog.
garmites (GAR mitz) - n. Those items of clothing that fitperfectly in the store, but somehow shrink on the way home.
genderplex (JEN dur pleks) - n. The predicament of aperson in a theme restaurant who is unable to determine his
or her designated bathroom (e.g., turtles and tortoises).
gertatious (gur TAY shus) - adj. Having the adolescentfear that hanging one's arm over the bed at night will mean
being dragged under.
gimplexus (gim PLEK sis) - n. The rear area of the thighs,which must be peeled from the car seat on hot summer days.
gladhandling (GLAD han dling) - n. To attempt, withfrustrating results, to find and separate the ends of a
plastic-sandwich or trash bag.
glantics (GLAN tiks) - n. Two people, who, while makingout, open their eyes at the same time to see if the other
is looking.
glarpo (GLAR po) - n. The juncture of the ear and skullwhere pencils are stored.
gleemule (GLEE mule) - n. (a unit of measure) One unit oftoothpaste, measured from bristle to bristle. (Not to be
confused with GLEEMITES, which are petrified deposits of
toothpaste found in sinks.)
glutetic chair (glew TET ik chair) - adj. A twentieth-century design chair, found most often in movie theaters.
The main feature of the Glutetic chair is its ability to
keep folding up underneath a person as he tries to force it
down with his rear.
gnarmblum (NARM blum) - n. The dry wrinkly area at the endof the elbow.
grackles (GRAK elz) - n. The wrinkles that appear on thebody after staying in water too long.
greelite (GREE lite) - n. The eerie glow that emanatesfrom beneath escalator steps.
grinion (GRIN yun) - n. The unsightly indentation in themiddle of a belt when it has been worn too long.
gription (GRIP shun - n. The sound of sneakers squeakingagainst the floor during basketball games.
grisknob (GRIS nahb) - n. The end of a chicken drumstickwhich always gives the appearance of having more chicken
on it.
gromaxes (GROM ack sis) - n. The inside area of the kneesused to grip the steering wheel when holding a road map.
gurmlish (GURM lish) - n. The red warning flag at the topof a club sandwich toothpick which prevents the person from
biting into it and puncturing the roof of his mouth.
hangle (HAN gul) - n. A cluster of coat hangers.hem dangling outside the door of a moving vehicle.
hempannant (HEM pan ent) - n. Any coattail, cuff, or dress
hozone (HO zohn) - n. The place where one sock in everylaundry load disappears to.
hudnut (HUD nut) - n. The bolt left over when one hasfinished reassembling a bicycle or car engine.
hydralation (hi dra LAY shun) - n. Acclimating oneself toa cold swimming pool by bodily regions: toe-to-knee,
knee-to-waist, waist-to-elbow, elbow-to-neck.
hystioblogination (HIS te o blahg in AY shun) - n. The actof trying to identify a gift by holding it to your ear and
shaking it.
idiot box (ID e ot bahks) - n. The part of the envelopethat tells a person WHERE to palce the stamp when they can't
quite figure it out for themselves.
ignisecond (IG ni sek und) - n. The overlapping moment oftime when the hand is locking the car door even as the brain
is saying "my keys are in there!"
jiffylust (JI phee lust) - n. The inability to be thefirst person to carve into a brand-new beautiful jar of
peanut butter.
kedophobia (ked oh FO be uh) - n. The fear of having one'ssneakers eaten by the teeth on the escalator.
knimpel (NIM pul) - n. The missing last piece of a jigsawpuzzle.
krogt (kraht) - n. (chemical symbol: Kr) The metallicsilver coating found on fast-food game cards.
lactomangulation (LAK to man gyu LAY shun) - n.Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so badly
that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side.
laminites (LAM in itz) - n. Those strange people who showup in the photo sections of brand-new wallets.
lotshock (LAHT shahk) - n. The act of parking your car,walking away, and then watching it roll past you.
lub (lub) - n. The small deposit of spinach that lodgesitself between one's teeth.
McMonia (muk MOAN ee uh) - n. (chemical symbol: Mc)Noxious gas created by fast-food employee mopping under your
table while you're eating.
maggit (MAG it) - n. Any of the hundreds of subscriptioncards that fall from the pages of a magazine.
(pl. MAGGREGATE).
magniphobia ( mag ni FO be uh) - n. The fear that theobject in the side mirror is MUCH MUCH closer than it
appears.
magnocartic (mag no KAR tik) - n. Any automobile that,when left unattended, attracts shopping carts.
manglazette (mang la ZET) - n. The newspaper at the top ofthe stack that everyone passes over, believing the ones
beneath have better or fresher news.
marp (marp) - n. The impossible-to-find beginning of aroll of cellophane tape.
mattrescotting ( MAT res kot ing) - n. The pattern of grayand white lines on an institutional mattress.
maypop (MAY pop) - n. A bald tire.the bottom of the bag.
memnants (MEM nents) - n. The chipped or broken M&M's at
merferator (MUR fur ay ter) - n. The cardboard core in atoilet tissue roll.
methylphobia (meth il FO be uh) - n. The fear that you aregoing to have to pay the one cent you over-pumped at the
self-service station.
mittsquinter (MIT skwint ur) - n. A ball player who looksinto his glove after missing the ball, as if, somehow, the
cause of the error lies there.
mophenes (MO feenz) - n. The semi-truck headlights thatinvade your motel room at three in the morning.
motspur (MOT sper) - n. The pesky fourth wheel on ashopping cart that refuses to cooperate with the others.
mowmuffins ( MO muh finz) - n. The dried accumulation ofgrass on the underside of lawnmowers.
mumphreys (MUM freez) - n. (a useless sniglet) Thosestrange extra digits you find on push-button phones.
musquirt (MUS kwirt) - n. The water that comes out of theinitial squirts of a squeeze mustard bottle.
mustgo (MUST go) - n. Any item of food that has beensitting in the refrigerator so long that it has become a
science project.
napjerk (NAP jurk) - n. The sudden convulsion of the bodyjust as one is about to doze off.
narcolepulacy (nar ko LEP ul ah see) - n. The contagiousaction of yawning, causing everyone else in sight to also
yawn.
neglintics (ne GLIN tiks) - n. The study of why dark lintattaches itself to light clothing and vice versa.
neonphancy (ne ON fan see) - n. A fluorescent light bulbstruggling to come to life.
nerkle (NUR kel) - n. A person who leaves Christmas lightsup all year.
nevitts (NEV itz) - n. The sandpaper-like deposits on acat's tongue.
nistols ( NIZ tolz) - n. The small rubbery pads on thebottom of a dog's paw.
niz (niz) - n. An annoying hair at the top of a moviescreen.
nugloo (NUG lew) - n. The single continuous eyebrow thatcovers the entire forehead.
oatgap (OHT gap) - n. The empty space in a cereal boxcreated by "settling during shipment."
opling (OH pling) - n. The act, when feeding a baby, ofopening and closing one's mouth, smacking one's lips and
making yummy noises, in the hope that baby will do the same.
optortionist (op TOR shun ist) - n. The kid in school whocan turn his eyelids inside out.
orogami (or oh GA mee) - n. The miraculous folding processthat allows Kleenexes to methodically emerge from the box
one at a time.
orosuctuous (or oh SUK chew us) - adj. Being able to holda glass to one's face by sheer lung power.
pediddel (pe DID ul) - n. A car with only one workingheadlight. (Related to LEDDIDEP: a car with only one
working taillight. )
pedlock (PED lahk) - n. The condition of a bicycle pedalwedging itself against the kickstand.
pelp (pelp) - n. The crumbs and food particles thataccumulate in the cracks of dining tables.
penciventilation (pen si ven ti LAY shun) - n. The act ofblowing on the tip of a pencil after sharpening it.
percuburp (PER kyu berp) - n. The final gasp a coffeepercolator makes to alert you it is ready.
petribar (PET ri bar) - n. Any sun-bleached prehistoriccandy that has been sitting in the window of a vending
machine too long .
petrool (PET rul) - n. The slow, seemingly endless strandof motor oil at the end of the can.
pewtone (pyu TONE) - n. (chemical symbol: Pu) A majoratmospheric component of towns with paper mills.
phistel (FIS tul) - n. The brake pedal on the passengerside of the car that you wish existed when you're riding
with a lunatic.
phonesia (fo NEE zhuh) - n. The affliction of dialing aphone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as
they answer.
phosflink (FOS flink) - v. To flick a bulb on and off whenit burns out (as if, somehow, that will bring it back to
life).
photoyokel (fo to YO kul) - n. A person who presses thewrong button on a film camera causing it to dismantle.
phozzle (FO zul) - n. The buildup of dust on a recordneedle.
picklettulance (pik ul ET yu lans) - n. The ability toremember the entire family's order at a fast-food
restaurant.
pifflesquit (PIF ul skwit) - n. The wire net surroundingthe cork of a champagne bottle.
pillsburglar (PILZ berg ler) - n. Person able to samplethe icing on a new cake without leaving a fingerprint.
piyan (PI an) - n. (acronym: "Plus If You Act Now") Anymiscellaneous item thrown in on a late night television ad.
(Example: a pitchman trying to sell an all purpose carving
knife..."it's the only knife you'll ever need. Plus if you
act now, this complete set of steak knives...")
point blimfark (poynt BLIM fark) - n. The point at whichthe wheels on a stagecoach appear to turn in the opposite
direction.
porkus non gratis (POR kus non GRAT is) - n. The scragglypiece of bacon at the bottom of the package.
premblememblemation (prim blum em blum AY shun) - n.Whenever you drop a letter in the mailbox, you always
re-check to make sure it's gone down.
profanitype (pro FAN i tipe) - n. The special symbols usedby cartoonists to replace swear words (points, asterisks,
stars, and so on). It is yet to be determined which
specific character represents which specific expletive.
psychophobia (sy ko FO be uh) - n. The compulsion, whenusing a host's bathroom, to peer behind the shower curtain
and make sure no one is waiting for you.
pupkus (PUP kus) - n. The moist residue left on a windowafter a dog presses its nose to it.
purpitation (per pi TAY shun) - v. To take something offthe grocery shelf, decide you don't want it, and then put it
in another section.
retrocarbonic (ret to kar BON ic) - n. Any drink machinethat dispenses the soda before the cup.
riceroach (RYS rohch) - n. The burnt krispie in every bowlof Rice Krispies.
rignition (rig NI shun) - n. The embarrassing action oftrying to start one's car with the engine already running.
rocktose (ROK tohs) - n. The hard lumps that block thepouring spouts of sugar dispensers.
rovalert (RO val urt) - n. The system whereby one dog canquickly establish an entire neighborhood network of barking.
rubuncles (RU bunk ulz) - n. The bumps on an uncookedchicken.
sark (sark) - n. The marks left on one's ankle afterwearing tube socks all day.
scadink (SKA dink) - n. The annoying buildup of ink on theend of a ball-point pen.
scandroids (SKAN droydz) - n. The striped price codeswhich mysteriously began appearing on consumer products a
few years ago.
schlattwhapper (SCHLAT wap ur) - n. The window shade thatallows itself to be pulled down, hesitates for a second,
then snaps up in your face.
schnuffel (SCHNUF ul) - n. A dog's practice ofcontinuously nuzzling your crotch in mixed company.
scrabitch (SKRAB ich) - n. The impossible-to-reach area inthe middle of the back which can never be scratched.
scribline (SKRIB line) - n. The blank area on the back ofcredit cards where one's signature goes.
scrit (skrit) - n. Anything that's been in the same placefor at least fifty years without being used, such as the
archaic bottles of hair tonic on a barber's counter.
shirtlop (SHURT lahp) - n. The condition of a shirt thathas been improperly buttoned.
shoefly (SHEW fliy) - n. The aeronautical terminology fora football player who misses the punt and launches his shoe
instead.
shuggleftulation (shug lef tuyl AY shun) - n. The actionstwo people approaching, trying to get around each other, and
muttering "thanks for the dance."
sirlines (SIR lines) - n. The lines on a grilled steak.one's own trousers while trying to pull them on without
slackjam (SLAK jam) - n. The condition of being trapped in
first removing the shoes.
sloopage (SLU paj) - n. The tendency of hot dogs,hamburgers, and sandwich contents to slip from between their
covers.
slotgreed (SLOT greed) - n. The habit of checking everycoin return one passes for change.
slurm (slerm) - n. The slime that accumulates on theunderside of a soap bar when it sits in the dish too long.
slutures (SLEW chers) - n. The four white threads thatprotrude from Levis after the tag has been removed.
sniffleridge (SNIF ul rij) - n. The trough leading fromthe nose to the upper lip.
snorfing (SNORF ing) - n. The little game waitresses loveto play of waiting until your mouth is full before sneaking
up and asking, "Is everything okay?"
spagmumps (SPAG mumps) - n. Any of the millions ofStyrofoam wads that accompany mail-order items. (Also,
SPAGBULLIONS: custom fitted Styrofoam blocks that accompany
stereo equipment.)
speclums (SPEK lums) - n. The minuscule bumps on astrawberry.
speraws (SPER awz) - n. The pinched marks on the ends ofhot dogs.
spibble (SPIB ul) - n. The metal barrier on a rotary phonethat prevents you from dailing past 0.
spirobits (SPY ro bits) - n. The frayed bits of left-behind paper in a spiral notebook.
spirtle (SPUR tul) - n. The fine stream from a grapefruitthat always lands right in your eye.
spork (spork) - n. The combination spoon/fork you find infast food restauraunts.
sprachett (SPRA chit) - n. The rubber bar at a checkoutcounter that separates one load of groceries from another.
spubbling (SPUB ling) - v. The superhuman feat of tryingto wash one's hands and manipulate the "water saving"
faucets at the same time.
squalkeenus (skwal KE nus) - n. The shock syndrome thatcomes from biting into a popsicle with one's front teeth.
squatcho (SKWATCH oh) - n. The button at the top of abaseball cap.
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