• Complete list of sniglets (so far) (1/2)

    From eric.kowal@comcast.net@21:1/5 to Ishaan M. Gokhale on Mon Mar 18 05:44:57 2019
    On Tuesday, March 3, 1992 at 4:55:53 AM UTC-5, Ishaan M. Gokhale wrote:
    The following is a complete list of sniglets that have appeared
    on this newsgroup so far, with a few additions:

    Sniglet = Any word which should be in the dictionary but isn't.

    SNIGLETS ABOUT FOOD
    -------------------

    Cornextortion = When you go to the movie theatre and ask for a small popcorn,
    the guy behind the counter says, "for ONLY 25 cents more you can
    get a large popcorn". Moviegoers, watch out for this common
    tactic.
    Crispthian = Any actor who is hired basically because his name helps sell
    the cereal, i.e. Captian Crunch. Snap, Crackle, and Pop from
    "Rice Krispies" are also crispthians. No one would hire them
    if their names were "Sputter", "Thutter", and "Whizz", would they?
    Foodwinking = The practice of giving exotic names to otherwise mundane
    products. For example, "Salsa Rio flavored Doritos"
    Milkdudes = Any two milk duds fused together by accident.
    Newtrons = The magnetized particles that amazingly hold some fig newtons
    together.
    Oatamatopoiea = The sound that the cereal "Captain Crunch" makes when you
    pour milk over it.
    Snackmosphere = The 95% air inside bags of potato chips.
    Sub-atomic toasticles = The little bits of toast that somehow always get
    stuck on the stick of butter.

    SNIGLETS ABOUT MAPS
    -------------------

    Continentertinter = The person in a mapmaking company whose job is to
    decide what color a specific country is going to be.
    Gapiana = The little strip of land between the "You are now leaving"
    and "You are now entering" signs when you cross from one state
    into another.
    Geosniglet = Any word that should be in the atlas but isn't.
    Hawaska = In an atlas, the rectangular box which contains Hawaii and
    Alaska and is located just off the coast of Arizona.

    SNIGLETS ABOUT SHOPPING
    -----------------------

    Hereoglyph = A little stick figure on a mallmanac (see below) that tells you
    where you are in a mall because you can't tell by yourself
    because there is no face on it. (Often the words "You Are Here"
    occur at the bottom of the hereoglyph)
    Mallmanac = In a mall, the giant maze with blocks and numbers on it, otherwise
    known as the "Directory".

    OTHER SNIGLETS
    --------------

    Delusions of Greendeur = Sometimes products will try to pander to you
    consciousness by claiming to be ozone friendly, environmentally-
    safe, ... no animal testing required. These products are called
    "Delusions of Greendeur". For example, Glad bags. It actually
    says on the back of the box, "Can be incenerated safely,
    providing more fuel value than wood or coal." What does this
    mean? You can actually heat your house, cook with Glad bags? Discombebopulated = Whenever you are driving along and you can't find a
    house, and you have the address in your hand, and you can't
    find the address, so you turn the radio down. Somehow, this
    will help you find the house easier. If you ever find yourself
    doing this, then you are discombebopulated.
    Exxonerated = Lets say that a CERTAIN oil tanker captain gets cranked up
    and wipes out the Alaskan coastline, but he only gets charged
    with criminal mischief, which kind of sounds like all he did
    was tape "kick me" signs to the backs of penguins. Well, then
    you can describe that captain as "Exxonerated".
    Flushmania = When you go into a public restroom, and the whole place
    STINKS AS HELL, you flush ALL the toilets before doing
    what YOU have to do. (Related to Flushamnesia = When you
    forget to flush the toilet in a public restroom.)
    Barfaroma = The stink that eminates from a person immediately after he has
    thrown up.

    The following list was sent to me from GPF103%PSUVM.bitnet@cunyvm.cuny.edu:

    /* SNIGLET EXEC */
    /* */
    /* Sniglet */
    /* */
    /* (SNIG lit) - n. Any word that doesn't appear in the */
    /* dictionary, but should. */
    /* */
    /* */
    /* Book written by Richard Hall and friends. */
    /* Published by Collier Books, Macmillan Publishing Company */
    /* Original Author of Exec unknown. */
    /* Modified 01/20/88 by The Fiend (RCW101@PSUVM) */

    [lots of stuff deleted - don't worry, there weren't any sniglets here]

    /*SNIGLETS

    abzot (AB zaht) - n. The device in a currency changer that
    determines whether a bill is too wrinkled or not.
    accordionated (ah KOR de on ay tid) - adj. Being able to
    drive and refold a road map at the same time.
    aeroma (ayr OH ma) - n. The odor emanating from an
    exercise room after an aerobics workout.
    aeropalmics (ayr o PALM iks) - n. The study of wind
    resistance conducted by holding a cupped hand out the car
    window.
    alponium (al PO nee um) - n. (chemical symbol: Ap) Initial
    blast of odor upon opening a can of dog food.
    ambiportalous (am bih PORT ahl us) - adj. Possessing the
    uncanny knack for approaching a set of double doors and
    ALWAYS pushing the locked one.
    anaception (an a SEP shun) - n. The body's ability to
    actually affect television reception by moving about the
    room.
    antalixic (and a LIK sik) - n. One who passes over
    licorice jelly beans.
    anticiparcellate (an ti si PAR sel ate) - v. Waiting until
    the mailman is several houses down the street before picking
    up the mail, so as not to appear too anxious.
    aquadextrous (ak wa DEKS trus) - adj. Possessing the
    ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
    aqualibrium (ak wa LIB re um) - n. The point where the
    stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height,
    thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the
    nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye.
    arachnidiot (ar ak NI di ot) - n. A person, who, having
    wandered into an "invisible" spider web begins gyrating and
    flailing about wildly.
    attrinyl (a TRY nil) - n. (chemical symbol: At) A black,
    bulletproof, totally inflexible type of plastic, used
    primarily in covers of pay phone directories.
    bandile (BAN dyl) - n. The thin red strip one pulls to
    release a Band-Aid.
    bargarcs (BAR jarks) - n. The streaks on a car's
    windshield from faulty wipers.
    bathquake (BATH kwake) - n. The violent quake that rattles
    the entire house when the water faucet is turned to a
    certain point.
    bevameter (BEV a meet uhr) - n. (a unit of measure) The
    distance a coaster, attached to the bottom of a wet glass,
    will travel before it falls back to earth.
    bleemus (BLEE mus) - n. The disgusting film on the top of
    soups and cocoa that sit out for too long.
    blibula (BLIH byu luh) - n. The spot on a dog's stomach
    which, when rubbed, causes his leg to rotate wildly.
    blindelize (BLIN dul eyes) - v. To scratch an album beyond
    recognition trying to maneuver it over the record spindle.
    blithwapping (BLITH wap ing) - v. Using anything BUT a
    hammer to hammer a nail into the wall, such as shoes, lamp
    bases, door stops, etc.
    blivett (BLIH vit) - v. To turn one's pillow over and
    over, looking for the cool spot.
    blotch (blahch) - v. To slap the bottom of a catsup bottle
    with increasing intensity, ultimately resulting in a
    BLOTCHSLIDE.
    bobblogesture (bah blo JES cher) - n. The classroom
    activity of not knowing an answer but raising one's hand
    anyway (after determining a sufficient number of other
    people have also raised their hands, thus reducing the
    likelihood of actually being called on).
    boslum (BAHZ lum) - n. The small metal ring on a ballpoint
    pen that separates the top half (MELANEXUS) from the bottom
    half (MOOSTERUS).
    bovilexia (bo vil EKS e uh) - n. The uncontrollable urge
    to lean out the car window and yell "Moo!!" every time you
    pass a cow.
    brattled (BRAT uld) - adj. The unsettling feeling, at a
    stoplight, that the busload of kids that just pulled up
    beside you is making fun of you.
    brimplet (BRIM plit) - n. A frayed shoelace that must be
    moistened to pass through a shoe eyelet.
    bucklint (BUCK lint) - n. The fine red and blue threads
    running through new dollar bills.
    buculets (BUK u lets) - n. The bumper guards on the
    underside of a toilet seat.
    bumperglints (BUMP ur glintz) - n. The small reflective
    obstacles in the middle of interstate highways which
    supposedly keep drivers awake and on the track.
    burbulation (ber byu LAY shun) - n. The obsessive act of
    opening and closing a refrigerator door in an attempt to
    catch it before the little automatic light comes on.
    bursploot (BER sploot) - v. To position one's thumb at the
    end of a garden hose to increase the water pressure.
    busblender (BUS blen dur) - v. The device at the front of
    the bus that tosses your fare around for awhile, then
    swallows it.
    cabnicreep (KAB nih kreep) - n. The structural condition
    in which the closing of one kitchen cabinet causes another
    to open.
    careena (ka REEN uh) - n. Any mangled or missing piece of
    highway guard rail.
    carperpetuation (KAR pur pet u a shun) - n. The act, when
    vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at
    least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up,
    examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum
    ONE MORE CHANCE.
    cereoallocative (ser e o AL o ka tuv) - adj. Describes the
    ability of a seasoned breakfast eater to establish a perfect
    cereal/ banana ratio, assuring there will be at least one
    slice of banana left for the final spoonful of cereal.
    chalktrauma (CHAWK traw ma) - n. The body's reaction to
    someone running his fingernails down a chalkboard.
    charp (charp) - n. The green, mutant potato chip found in
    every bag.
    cheedle (CHEE dul) - n. The residue left on one's
    fingertips after consuming a bag of Cheetos.
    chingrip (CHIN grip) - n. The area where the chin meets
    the neck. Used for holding the pillow when slipping on a
    pillowcase.
    choconiverous (chahk o NIV ur us) - adj. The tendency when
    eating a chocolate Easter bunny to bite off the head first.
    chwads (chwadz) - n. The small, disgusting wads of bubble
    gum commonly found beneath table and counter tops.
    cigadent (SIG a dent) - n. Any accident involving a
    cigarette: for instance when it sticks to your lips while
    your fingers slide off and get burned.
    cinemuck (SI ne muk) - n.The combination of popcorn, soda,
    and melted chocolate which covers the floors of movie
    theaters.
    circlocryogenic theory (sur klo kri o JEN ik THE ur ree)
    - n. Postulates that no matter which way you turn a glass of
    ice water, the cubes will to the back. (Further research has
    established t hat one piece of ice will always stick to the
    bottom of any empty glass until tapped, at which point it
    will come forward and smack the drinker on the end of his
    nose.)
    circuloin technique (SUR kew loyn tek NEEK) - n. The
    popular approach to steak dining in which one eats around
    the edges first, then works his way toward the middle.
    clumfert (KLUM furt) - n. The invisible extra step at the
    top and bottom of a staircase. Usually materializes when
    one is carrying a large bag of groceries.
    coeggulant (ko EG yu lent) - n. The white things in a
    plate of scrambled eggs.
    conagraphs (KOHN a grafs) - n. The raised relief squares
    on an ice cream cone.
    creedles (KRE dulz) - n. The colony of microscopic
    indentations on a golfball.
    crummox (KRUM oks) - n. The cereal that gets caught
    between the inner lining and the side of the box. Also, the
    leftover amount at the bottom. (Not enough to eat, but too
    much to throw away. )
    curbswell (KERB swel) - n. A seismic condition in which
    the curb on the passenger side of a car will rise and wedge a
    car door. The passenger must then climb out and stand on the
    curb until the swelling goes down.
    dasho (DA show) - n. The area between a car's windshield
    and dashboard, where coins, pencils, etc. cannot be humanly
    retrieved.
    deterrency (de TER ren see) - n. The ruined currency found
    in pants pockets after laundering.
    detruncus (de TRUNK us) - n. The embarrassing phenomenon
    of losing one's bathing shorts while diving into a swimming
    pool.
    disconfect (dis kon FECT) - v. To sterilize the piece of
    candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow
    assuming this will "remove" all the germs.
    door slinky (dor SLIN kee) - n. The springy device
    attached to the back of a door that prevents the door from
    marring the wall.
    dublectate (duh BLEK tayt) - v. To misplace one's
    eyeglasses and eventually discover them atop one's head.
    ecnalubma (ek na LUB ma) - n. A rescue vehicle which can
    only be seen in the rear-view mirror.
    elbonics (el BON iks) - n. The action of two people
    maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
    elecelleration (el a cel er AY shun) - n. The mistaken
    notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster
    it will arrive.
    equatt (E kwat) - n. The pastime of trying to balance the
    light switch in the exact middle of the wall plate, so that
    the light is half on, half off.
    erdu (UHR dew) - n. The leftover accumulation of rubber
    particles after erasing a mistake on a test paper.
    escalasticize (esk a LAST i size) - v. To lean against the
    rail of a moving escalator and have the sensation of being
    pulled in t he opposite
    directions.
    euneeblic (you NEE blik) - n. A person who refuses to
    believe an "out of order" sign and risks his money anyway.
    expressholes (eks PRES holz) - n. People who try to sneak
    more than the "eight items or less" into the express
    checkout line.
    fenderberg (FEN dur burg) - n. The large glacial deposits
    that form on the insides of car fenders during snowstorms.
    flannister (FLAN is tur) - n. The plastic yoke that holds
    a six-pack of beer together.
    flen (flen) - n. (chemical symbol: Fl) The black crusty
    residue that accumulates on the necks of old catsup bottles.
    fleptic (FLEP tik) - adj. The tendency of soup and dog
    food lids to slip into the can upon opening.
    flirr (flur) - n. A photograph that features the camera
    operator's finger in the corner.
    floles (floz) - n. The extra (fourth and fifth) holes in
    notebook paper. Created in the hopes that oneday mankind
    will perfect a "five ring binder."
    flopcorn (FLOP korn) - n. The unpopped kernels at the
    bottom of the cooker.
    flotion (FLO shun) - n. The tendency when sharing a
    waterbed to undulate for five minutes every time the other
    person moves.
    flotta factor (FLAH ta FAK tur) - n. The proven
    scientific fact that at a self-service pump, the last ten
    cents take longer to reach the tank than the first twelve
    dollars' worth.
    flowfright (FLO frite) - n. The desperate attempt by a
    homeowner to talk his overflowing toilet into backing down.
    fluggling (FLUG ul ing) - v. The dangerous practice, in a
    darkened room, of using one's finger to guide the end of an
    electrical plug into a wall socket.
    fraznit (FRAHS nit) - n. Any string hanging from an
    article of clothing, which when pulled causes the article to
    completely unravel.
    frust (frust) - n. The small line of debris that refuses
    to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person
    across the room until he finally decides to give up and
    sweep it under the rug.
    furbling (FER bling) - v. Having to wander through a maze
    of ropes at an airport of bank even when you are the only
    person in line.
    furnidents (FER nih dents) - n. The indentations that
    appear in carpets after a piece of furniture has been
    removed.
    furterus zone (fer TER us zohn) - n. The empty stretches
    of bun on either end of a hot dog.
    garmites (GAR mitz) - n. Those items of clothing that fit
    perfectly in the store, but somehow shrink on the way home.
    genderplex (JEN dur pleks) - n. The predicament of a
    person in a theme restaurant who is unable to determine his
    or her designated bathroom (e.g., turtles and tortoises).
    gertatious (gur TAY shus) - adj. Having the adolescent
    fear that hanging one's arm over the bed at night will mean
    being dragged under.
    gimplexus (gim PLEK sis) - n. The rear area of the thighs,
    which must be peeled from the car seat on hot summer days.
    gladhandling (GLAD han dling) - n. To attempt, with
    frustrating results, to find and separate the ends of a
    plastic-sandwich or trash bag.
    glantics (GLAN tiks) - n. Two people, who, while making
    out, open their eyes at the same time to see if the other
    is looking.
    glarpo (GLAR po) - n. The juncture of the ear and skull
    where pencils are stored.
    gleemule (GLEE mule) - n. (a unit of measure) One unit of
    toothpaste, measured from bristle to bristle. (Not to be
    confused with GLEEMITES, which are petrified deposits of
    toothpaste found in sinks.)
    glutetic chair (glew TET ik chair) - adj. A twentieth-
    century design chair, found most often in movie theaters.
    The main feature of the Glutetic chair is its ability to
    keep folding up underneath a person as he tries to force it
    down with his rear.
    gnarmblum (NARM blum) - n. The dry wrinkly area at the end
    of the elbow.
    grackles (GRAK elz) - n. The wrinkles that appear on the
    body after staying in water too long.
    greelite (GREE lite) - n. The eerie glow that emanates
    from beneath escalator steps.
    grinion (GRIN yun) - n. The unsightly indentation in the
    middle of a belt when it has been worn too long.
    gription (GRIP shun - n. The sound of sneakers squeaking
    against the floor during basketball games.
    grisknob (GRIS nahb) - n. The end of a chicken drumstick
    which always gives the appearance of having more chicken
    on it.
    gromaxes (GROM ack sis) - n. The inside area of the knees
    used to grip the steering wheel when holding a road map.
    gurmlish (GURM lish) - n. The red warning flag at the top
    of a club sandwich toothpick which prevents the person from
    biting into it and puncturing the roof of his mouth.
    hangle (HAN gul) - n. A cluster of coat hangers.
    hempannant (HEM pan ent) - n. Any coattail, cuff, or dress
    hem dangling outside the door of a moving vehicle.
    hozone (HO zohn) - n. The place where one sock in every
    laundry load disappears to.
    hudnut (HUD nut) - n. The bolt left over when one has
    finished reassembling a bicycle or car engine.
    hydralation (hi dra LAY shun) - n. Acclimating oneself to
    a cold swimming pool by bodily regions: toe-to-knee,
    knee-to-waist, waist-to-elbow, elbow-to-neck.
    hystioblogination (HIS te o blahg in AY shun) - n. The act
    of trying to identify a gift by holding it to your ear and
    shaking it.
    idiot box (ID e ot bahks) - n. The part of the envelope
    that tells a person WHERE to palce the stamp when they can't
    quite figure it out for themselves.
    ignisecond (IG ni sek und) - n. The overlapping moment of
    time when the hand is locking the car door even as the brain
    is saying "my keys are in there!"
    jiffylust (JI phee lust) - n. The inability to be the
    first person to carve into a brand-new beautiful jar of
    peanut butter.
    kedophobia (ked oh FO be uh) - n. The fear of having one's
    sneakers eaten by the teeth on the escalator.
    knimpel (NIM pul) - n. The missing last piece of a jigsaw
    puzzle.
    krogt (kraht) - n. (chemical symbol: Kr) The metallic
    silver coating found on fast-food game cards.
    lactomangulation (LAK to man gyu LAY shun) - n.
    Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so badly
    that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side.
    laminites (LAM in itz) - n. Those strange people who show
    up in the photo sections of brand-new wallets.
    lotshock (LAHT shahk) - n. The act of parking your car,
    walking away, and then watching it roll past you.
    lub (lub) - n. The small deposit of spinach that lodges
    itself between one's teeth.
    McMonia (muk MOAN ee uh) - n. (chemical symbol: Mc)
    Noxious gas created by fast-food employee mopping under your
    table while you're eating.
    maggit (MAG it) - n. Any of the hundreds of subscription
    cards that fall from the pages of a magazine.
    (pl. MAGGREGATE).
    magniphobia ( mag ni FO be uh) - n. The fear that the
    object in the side mirror is MUCH MUCH closer than it
    appears.
    magnocartic (mag no KAR tik) - n. Any automobile that,
    when left unattended, attracts shopping carts.
    manglazette (mang la ZET) - n. The newspaper at the top of
    the stack that everyone passes over, believing the ones
    beneath have better or fresher news.
    marp (marp) - n. The impossible-to-find beginning of a
    roll of cellophane tape.
    mattrescotting ( MAT res kot ing) - n. The pattern of gray
    and white lines on an institutional mattress.
    maypop (MAY pop) - n. A bald tire.
    memnants (MEM nents) - n. The chipped or broken M&M's at
    the bottom of the bag.
    merferator (MUR fur ay ter) - n. The cardboard core in a
    toilet tissue roll.
    methylphobia (meth il FO be uh) - n. The fear that you are
    going to have to pay the one cent you over-pumped at the
    self-service station.
    mittsquinter (MIT skwint ur) - n. A ball player who looks
    into his glove after missing the ball, as if, somehow, the
    cause of the error lies there.
    mophenes (MO feenz) - n. The semi-truck headlights that
    invade your motel room at three in the morning.
    motspur (MOT sper) - n. The pesky fourth wheel on a
    shopping cart that refuses to cooperate with the others.
    mowmuffins ( MO muh finz) - n. The dried accumulation of
    grass on the underside of lawnmowers.
    mumphreys (MUM freez) - n. (a useless sniglet) Those
    strange extra digits you find on push-button phones.
    musquirt (MUS kwirt) - n. The water that comes out of the
    initial squirts of a squeeze mustard bottle.
    mustgo (MUST go) - n. Any item of food that has been
    sitting in the refrigerator so long that it has become a
    science project.
    napjerk (NAP jurk) - n. The sudden convulsion of the body
    just as one is about to doze off.
    narcolepulacy (nar ko LEP ul ah see) - n. The contagious
    action of yawning, causing everyone else in sight to also
    yawn.
    neglintics (ne GLIN tiks) - n. The study of why dark lint
    attaches itself to light clothing and vice versa.
    neonphancy (ne ON fan see) - n. A fluorescent light bulb
    struggling to come to life.
    nerkle (NUR kel) - n. A person who leaves Christmas lights
    up all year.
    nevitts (NEV itz) - n. The sandpaper-like deposits on a
    cat's tongue.
    nistols ( NIZ tolz) - n. The small rubbery pads on the
    bottom of a dog's paw.
    niz (niz) - n. An annoying hair at the top of a movie
    screen.
    nugloo (NUG lew) - n. The single continuous eyebrow that
    covers the entire forehead.
    oatgap (OHT gap) - n. The empty space in a cereal box
    created by "settling during shipment."
    opling (OH pling) - n. The act, when feeding a baby, of
    opening and closing one's mouth, smacking one's lips and
    making yummy noises, in the hope that baby will do the same.
    optortionist (op TOR shun ist) - n. The kid in school who
    can turn his eyelids inside out.
    orogami (or oh GA mee) - n. The miraculous folding process
    that allows Kleenexes to methodically emerge from the box
    one at a time.
    orosuctuous (or oh SUK chew us) - adj. Being able to hold
    a glass to one's face by sheer lung power.
    pediddel (pe DID ul) - n. A car with only one working
    headlight. (Related to LEDDIDEP: a car with only one
    working taillight. )
    pedlock (PED lahk) - n. The condition of a bicycle pedal
    wedging itself against the kickstand.
    pelp (pelp) - n. The crumbs and food particles that
    accumulate in the cracks of dining tables.
    penciventilation (pen si ven ti LAY shun) - n. The act of
    blowing on the tip of a pencil after sharpening it.
    percuburp (PER kyu berp) - n. The final gasp a coffee
    percolator makes to alert you it is ready.
    petribar (PET ri bar) - n. Any sun-bleached prehistoric
    candy that has been sitting in the window of a vending
    machine too long .
    petrool (PET rul) - n. The slow, seemingly endless strand
    of motor oil at the end of the can.
    pewtone (pyu TONE) - n. (chemical symbol: Pu) A major
    atmospheric component of towns with paper mills.
    phistel (FIS tul) - n. The brake pedal on the passenger
    side of the car that you wish existed when you're riding
    with a lunatic.
    phonesia (fo NEE zhuh) - n. The affliction of dialing a
    phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as
    they answer.
    phosflink (FOS flink) - v. To flick a bulb on and off when
    it burns out (as if, somehow, that will bring it back to
    life).
    photoyokel (fo to YO kul) - n. A person who presses the
    wrong button on a film camera causing it to dismantle.
    phozzle (FO zul) - n. The buildup of dust on a record
    needle.
    picklettulance (pik ul ET yu lans) - n. The ability to
    remember the entire family's order at a fast-food
    restaurant.
    pifflesquit (PIF ul skwit) - n. The wire net surrounding
    the cork of a champagne bottle.
    pillsburglar (PILZ berg ler) - n. Person able to sample
    the icing on a new cake without leaving a fingerprint.
    piyan (PI an) - n. (acronym: "Plus If You Act Now") Any
    miscellaneous item thrown in on a late night television ad.
    (Example: a pitchman trying to sell an all purpose carving
    knife..."it's the only knife you'll ever need. Plus if you
    act now, this complete set of steak knives...")
    point blimfark (poynt BLIM fark) - n. The point at which
    the wheels on a stagecoach appear to turn in the opposite
    direction.
    porkus non gratis (POR kus non GRAT is) - n. The scraggly
    piece of bacon at the bottom of the package.
    premblememblemation (prim blum em blum AY shun) - n.
    Whenever you drop a letter in the mailbox, you always
    re-check to make sure it's gone down.
    profanitype (pro FAN i tipe) - n. The special symbols used
    by cartoonists to replace swear words (points, asterisks,
    stars, and so on). It is yet to be determined which
    specific character represents which specific expletive.
    psychophobia (sy ko FO be uh) - n. The compulsion, when
    using a host's bathroom, to peer behind the shower curtain
    and make sure no one is waiting for you.
    pupkus (PUP kus) - n. The moist residue left on a window
    after a dog presses its nose to it.
    purpitation (per pi TAY shun) - v. To take something off
    the grocery shelf, decide you don't want it, and then put it
    in another section.
    retrocarbonic (ret to kar BON ic) - n. Any drink machine
    that dispenses the soda before the cup.
    riceroach (RYS rohch) - n. The burnt krispie in every bowl
    of Rice Krispies.
    rignition (rig NI shun) - n. The embarrassing action of
    trying to start one's car with the engine already running.
    rocktose (ROK tohs) - n. The hard lumps that block the
    pouring spouts of sugar dispensers.
    rovalert (RO val urt) - n. The system whereby one dog can
    quickly establish an entire neighborhood network of barking.
    rubuncles (RU bunk ulz) - n. The bumps on an uncooked
    chicken.
    sark (sark) - n. The marks left on one's ankle after
    wearing tube socks all day.
    scadink (SKA dink) - n. The annoying buildup of ink on the
    end of a ball-point pen.
    scandroids (SKAN droydz) - n. The striped price codes
    which mysteriously began appearing on consumer products a
    few years ago.
    schlattwhapper (SCHLAT wap ur) - n. The window shade that
    allows itself to be pulled down, hesitates for a second,
    then snaps up in your face.
    schnuffel (SCHNUF ul) - n. A dog's practice of
    continuously nuzzling your crotch in mixed company.
    scrabitch (SKRAB ich) - n. The impossible-to-reach area in
    the middle of the back which can never be scratched.
    scribline (SKRIB line) - n. The blank area on the back of
    credit cards where one's signature goes.
    scrit (skrit) - n. Anything that's been in the same place
    for at least fifty years without being used, such as the
    archaic bottles of hair tonic on a barber's counter.
    shirtlop (SHURT lahp) - n. The condition of a shirt that
    has been improperly buttoned.
    shoefly (SHEW fliy) - n. The aeronautical terminology for
    a football player who misses the punt and launches his shoe
    instead.
    shuggleftulation (shug lef tuyl AY shun) - n. The actions
    two people approaching, trying to get around each other, and
    muttering "thanks for the dance."
    sirlines (SIR lines) - n. The lines on a grilled steak.
    slackjam (SLAK jam) - n. The condition of being trapped in
    one's own trousers while trying to pull them on without
    first removing the shoes.
    sloopage (SLU paj) - n. The tendency of hot dogs,
    hamburgers, and sandwich contents to slip from between their
    covers.
    slotgreed (SLOT greed) - n. The habit of checking every
    coin return one passes for change.
    slurm (slerm) - n. The slime that accumulates on the
    underside of a soap bar when it sits in the dish too long.
    slutures (SLEW chers) - n. The four white threads that
    protrude from Levis after the tag has been removed.
    sniffleridge (SNIF ul rij) - n. The trough leading from
    the nose to the upper lip.
    snorfing (SNORF ing) - n. The little game waitresses love
    to play of waiting until your mouth is full before sneaking
    up and asking, "Is everything okay?"
    spagmumps (SPAG mumps) - n. Any of the millions of
    Styrofoam wads that accompany mail-order items. (Also,
    SPAGBULLIONS: custom fitted Styrofoam blocks that accompany
    stereo equipment.)
    speclums (SPEK lums) - n. The minuscule bumps on a
    strawberry.
    speraws (SPER awz) - n. The pinched marks on the ends of
    hot dogs.
    spibble (SPIB ul) - n. The metal barrier on a rotary phone
    that prevents you from dailing past 0.
    spirobits (SPY ro bits) - n. The frayed bits of left-
    behind paper in a spiral notebook.
    spirtle (SPUR tul) - n. The fine stream from a grapefruit
    that always lands right in your eye.
    spork (spork) - n. The combination spoon/fork you find in
    fast food restauraunts.
    sprachett (SPRA chit) - n. The rubber bar at a checkout
    counter that separates one load of groceries from another.
    spubbling (SPUB ling) - v. The superhuman feat of trying
    to wash one's hands and manipulate the "water saving"
    faucets at the same time.
    squalkeenus (skwal KE nus) - n. The shock syndrome that
    comes from biting into a popsicle with one's front teeth.
    squatcho (SKWATCH oh) - n. The button at the top of a
    baseball cap.
    stroodle (STRU dul) - n. The annoying strand of cheese
    stretching from a slice of hot pizza to one's mouth.

    [continued in next message]

    --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
    * Origin: fsxNet Usenet Gateway (21:1/5)
  • From alipps1@gmail.com@21:1/5 to Ishaan M. Gokhale on Sun Mar 24 07:46:02 2019
    On Tuesday, March 3, 1992 at 4:55:53 AM UTC-5, Ishaan M. Gokhale wrote:
    The following is a complete list of sniglets that have appeared
    on this newsgroup so far, with a few additions:

    Sniglet = Any word which should be in the dictionary but isn't.

    SNIGLETS ABOUT FOOD
    -------------------

    Cornextortion = When you go to the movie theatre and ask for a small popcorn,
    the guy behind the counter says, "for ONLY 25 cents more you can
    get a large popcorn". Moviegoers, watch out for this common
    tactic.
    Crispthian = Any actor who is hired basically because his name helps sell
    the cereal, i.e. Captian Crunch. Snap, Crackle, and Pop from
    "Rice Krispies" are also crispthians. No one would hire them
    if their names were "Sputter", "Thutter", and "Whizz", would they?
    Foodwinking = The practice of giving exotic names to otherwise mundane
    products. For example, "Salsa Rio flavored Doritos"
    Milkdudes = Any two milk duds fused together by accident.
    Newtrons = The magnetized particles that amazingly hold some fig newtons
    together.
    Oatamatopoiea = The sound that the cereal "Captain Crunch" makes when you
    pour milk over it.
    Snackmosphere = The 95% air inside bags of potato chips.
    Sub-atomic toasticles = The little bits of toast that somehow always get
    stuck on the stick of butter.

    SNIGLETS ABOUT MAPS
    -------------------

    Continentertinter = The person in a mapmaking company whose job is to
    decide what color a specific country is going to be.
    Gapiana = The little strip of land between the "You are now leaving"
    and "You are now entering" signs when you cross from one state
    into another.
    Geosniglet = Any word that should be in the atlas but isn't.
    Hawaska = In an atlas, the rectangular box which contains Hawaii and
    Alaska and is located just off the coast of Arizona.

    SNIGLETS ABOUT SHOPPING
    -----------------------

    Hereoglyph = A little stick figure on a mallmanac (see below) that tells you
    where you are in a mall because you can't tell by yourself
    because there is no face on it. (Often the words "You Are Here"
    occur at the bottom of the hereoglyph)
    Mallmanac = In a mall, the giant maze with blocks and numbers on it, otherwise
    known as the "Directory".

    OTHER SNIGLETS
    --------------

    Delusions of Greendeur = Sometimes products will try to pander to you
    consciousness by claiming to be ozone friendly, environmentally-
    safe, ... no animal testing required. These products are called
    "Delusions of Greendeur". For example, Glad bags. It actually
    says on the back of the box, "Can be incenerated safely,
    providing more fuel value than wood or coal." What does this
    mean? You can actually heat your house, cook with Glad bags? Discombebopulated = Whenever you are driving along and you can't find a
    house, and you have the address in your hand, and you can't
    find the address, so you turn the radio down. Somehow, this
    will help you find the house easier. If you ever find yourself
    doing this, then you are discombebopulated.
    Exxonerated = Lets say that a CERTAIN oil tanker captain gets cranked up
    and wipes out the Alaskan coastline, but he only gets charged
    with criminal mischief, which kind of sounds like all he did
    was tape "kick me" signs to the backs of penguins. Well, then
    you can describe that captain as "Exxonerated".
    Flushmania = When you go into a public restroom, and the whole place
    STINKS AS HELL, you flush ALL the toilets before doing
    what YOU have to do. (Related to Flushamnesia = When you
    forget to flush the toilet in a public restroom.)
    Barfaroma = The stink that eminates from a person immediately after he has
    thrown up.

    The following list was sent to me from GPF103%PSUVM.bitnet@cunyvm.cuny.edu:

    /* SNIGLET EXEC */
    /* */
    /* Sniglet */
    /* */
    /* (SNIG lit) - n. Any word that doesn't appear in the */
    /* dictionary, but should. */
    /* */
    /* */
    /* Book written by Richard Hall and friends. */
    /* Published by Collier Books, Macmillan Publishing Company */
    /* Original Author of Exec unknown. */
    /* Modified 01/20/88 by The Fiend (RCW101@PSUVM) */

    [lots of stuff deleted - don't worry, there weren't any sniglets here]

    /*SNIGLETS

    abzot (AB zaht) - n. The device in a currency changer that
    determines whether a bill is too wrinkled or not.
    accordionated (ah KOR de on ay tid) - adj. Being able to
    drive and refold a road map at the same time.
    aeroma (ayr OH ma) - n. The odor emanating from an
    exercise room after an aerobics workout.
    aeropalmics (ayr o PALM iks) - n. The study of wind
    resistance conducted by holding a cupped hand out the car
    window.
    alponium (al PO nee um) - n. (chemical symbol: Ap) Initial
    blast of odor upon opening a can of dog food.
    ambiportalous (am bih PORT ahl us) - adj. Possessing the
    uncanny knack for approaching a set of double doors and
    ALWAYS pushing the locked one.
    anaception (an a SEP shun) - n. The body's ability to
    actually affect television reception by moving about the
    room.
    antalixic (and a LIK sik) - n. One who passes over
    licorice jelly beans.
    anticiparcellate (an ti si PAR sel ate) - v. Waiting until
    the mailman is several houses down the street before picking
    up the mail, so as not to appear too anxious.
    aquadextrous (ak wa DEKS trus) - adj. Possessing the
    ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
    aqualibrium (ak wa LIB re um) - n. The point where the
    stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height,
    thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the
    nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye.
    arachnidiot (ar ak NI di ot) - n. A person, who, having
    wandered into an "invisible" spider web begins gyrating and
    flailing about wildly.
    attrinyl (a TRY nil) - n. (chemical symbol: At) A black,
    bulletproof, totally inflexible type of plastic, used
    primarily in covers of pay phone directories.
    bandile (BAN dyl) - n. The thin red strip one pulls to
    release a Band-Aid.
    bargarcs (BAR jarks) - n. The streaks on a car's
    windshield from faulty wipers.
    bathquake (BATH kwake) - n. The violent quake that rattles
    the entire house when the water faucet is turned to a
    certain point.
    bevameter (BEV a meet uhr) - n. (a unit of measure) The
    distance a coaster, attached to the bottom of a wet glass,
    will travel before it falls back to earth.
    bleemus (BLEE mus) - n. The disgusting film on the top of
    soups and cocoa that sit out for too long.
    blibula (BLIH byu luh) - n. The spot on a dog's stomach
    which, when rubbed, causes his leg to rotate wildly.
    blindelize (BLIN dul eyes) - v. To scratch an album beyond
    recognition trying to maneuver it over the record spindle.
    blithwapping (BLITH wap ing) - v. Using anything BUT a
    hammer to hammer a nail into the wall, such as shoes, lamp
    bases, door stops, etc.
    blivett (BLIH vit) - v. To turn one's pillow over and
    over, looking for the cool spot.
    blotch (blahch) - v. To slap the bottom of a catsup bottle
    with increasing intensity, ultimately resulting in a
    BLOTCHSLIDE.
    bobblogesture (bah blo JES cher) - n. The classroom
    activity of not knowing an answer but raising one's hand
    anyway (after determining a sufficient number of other
    people have also raised their hands, thus reducing the
    likelihood of actually being called on).
    boslum (BAHZ lum) - n. The small metal ring on a ballpoint
    pen that separates the top half (MELANEXUS) from the bottom
    half (MOOSTERUS).
    bovilexia (bo vil EKS e uh) - n. The uncontrollable urge
    to lean out the car window and yell "Moo!!" every time you
    pass a cow.
    brattled (BRAT uld) - adj. The unsettling feeling, at a
    stoplight, that the busload of kids that just pulled up
    beside you is making fun of you.
    brimplet (BRIM plit) - n. A frayed shoelace that must be
    moistened to pass through a shoe eyelet.
    bucklint (BUCK lint) - n. The fine red and blue threads
    running through new dollar bills.
    buculets (BUK u lets) - n. The bumper guards on the
    underside of a toilet seat.
    bumperglints (BUMP ur glintz) - n. The small reflective
    obstacles in the middle of interstate highways which
    supposedly keep drivers awake and on the track.
    burbulation (ber byu LAY shun) - n. The obsessive act of
    opening and closing a refrigerator door in an attempt to
    catch it before the little automatic light comes on.
    bursploot (BER sploot) - v. To position one's thumb at the
    end of a garden hose to increase the water pressure.
    busblender (BUS blen dur) - v. The device at the front of
    the bus that tosses your fare around for awhile, then
    swallows it.
    cabnicreep (KAB nih kreep) - n. The structural condition
    in which the closing of one kitchen cabinet causes another
    to open.
    careena (ka REEN uh) - n. Any mangled or missing piece of
    highway guard rail.
    carperpetuation (KAR pur pet u a shun) - n. The act, when
    vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at
    least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up,
    examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum
    ONE MORE CHANCE.
    cereoallocative (ser e o AL o ka tuv) - adj. Describes the
    ability of a seasoned breakfast eater to establish a perfect
    cereal/ banana ratio, assuring there will be at least one
    slice of banana left for the final spoonful of cereal.
    chalktrauma (CHAWK traw ma) - n. The body's reaction to
    someone running his fingernails down a chalkboard.
    charp (charp) - n. The green, mutant potato chip found in
    every bag.
    cheedle (CHEE dul) - n. The residue left on one's
    fingertips after consuming a bag of Cheetos.
    chingrip (CHIN grip) - n. The area where the chin meets
    the neck. Used for holding the pillow when slipping on a
    pillowcase.
    choconiverous (chahk o NIV ur us) - adj. The tendency when
    eating a chocolate Easter bunny to bite off the head first.
    chwads (chwadz) - n. The small, disgusting wads of bubble
    gum commonly found beneath table and counter tops.
    cigadent (SIG a dent) - n. Any accident involving a
    cigarette: for instance when it sticks to your lips while
    your fingers slide off and get burned.
    cinemuck (SI ne muk) - n.The combination of popcorn, soda,
    and melted chocolate which covers the floors of movie
    theaters.
    circlocryogenic theory (sur klo kri o JEN ik THE ur ree)
    - n. Postulates that no matter which way you turn a glass of
    ice water, the cubes will to the back. (Further research has
    established t hat one piece of ice will always stick to the
    bottom of any empty glass until tapped, at which point it
    will come forward and smack the drinker on the end of his
    nose.)
    circuloin technique (SUR kew loyn tek NEEK) - n. The
    popular approach to steak dining in which one eats around
    the edges first, then works his way toward the middle.
    clumfert (KLUM furt) - n. The invisible extra step at the
    top and bottom of a staircase. Usually materializes when
    one is carrying a large bag of groceries.
    coeggulant (ko EG yu lent) - n. The white things in a
    plate of scrambled eggs.
    conagraphs (KOHN a grafs) - n. The raised relief squares
    on an ice cream cone.
    creedles (KRE dulz) - n. The colony of microscopic
    indentations on a golfball.
    crummox (KRUM oks) - n. The cereal that gets caught
    between the inner lining and the side of the box. Also, the
    leftover amount at the bottom. (Not enough to eat, but too
    much to throw away. )
    curbswell (KERB swel) - n. A seismic condition in which
    the curb on the passenger side of a car will rise and wedge a
    car door. The passenger must then climb out and stand on the
    curb until the swelling goes down.
    dasho (DA show) - n. The area between a car's windshield
    and dashboard, where coins, pencils, etc. cannot be humanly
    retrieved.
    deterrency (de TER ren see) - n. The ruined currency found
    in pants pockets after laundering.
    detruncus (de TRUNK us) - n. The embarrassing phenomenon
    of losing one's bathing shorts while diving into a swimming
    pool.
    disconfect (dis kon FECT) - v. To sterilize the piece of
    candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow
    assuming this will "remove" all the germs.
    door slinky (dor SLIN kee) - n. The springy device
    attached to the back of a door that prevents the door from
    marring the wall.
    dublectate (duh BLEK tayt) - v. To misplace one's
    eyeglasses and eventually discover them atop one's head.
    ecnalubma (ek na LUB ma) - n. A rescue vehicle which can
    only be seen in the rear-view mirror.
    elbonics (el BON iks) - n. The action of two people
    maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
    elecelleration (el a cel er AY shun) - n. The mistaken
    notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster
    it will arrive.
    equatt (E kwat) - n. The pastime of trying to balance the
    light switch in the exact middle of the wall plate, so that
    the light is half on, half off.
    erdu (UHR dew) - n. The leftover accumulation of rubber
    particles after erasing a mistake on a test paper.
    escalasticize (esk a LAST i size) - v. To lean against the
    rail of a moving escalator and have the sensation of being
    pulled in t he opposite
    directions.
    euneeblic (you NEE blik) - n. A person who refuses to
    believe an "out of order" sign and risks his money anyway.
    expressholes (eks PRES holz) - n. People who try to sneak
    more than the "eight items or less" into the express
    checkout line.
    fenderberg (FEN dur burg) - n. The large glacial deposits
    that form on the insides of car fenders during snowstorms.
    flannister (FLAN is tur) - n. The plastic yoke that holds
    a six-pack of beer together.
    flen (flen) - n. (chemical symbol: Fl) The black crusty
    residue that accumulates on the necks of old catsup bottles.
    fleptic (FLEP tik) - adj. The tendency of soup and dog
    food lids to slip into the can upon opening.
    flirr (flur) - n. A photograph that features the camera
    operator's finger in the corner.
    floles (floz) - n. The extra (fourth and fifth) holes in
    notebook paper. Created in the hopes that oneday mankind
    will perfect a "five ring binder."
    flopcorn (FLOP korn) - n. The unpopped kernels at the
    bottom of the cooker.
    flotion (FLO shun) - n. The tendency when sharing a
    waterbed to undulate for five minutes every time the other
    person moves.
    flotta factor (FLAH ta FAK tur) - n. The proven
    scientific fact that at a self-service pump, the last ten
    cents take longer to reach the tank than the first twelve
    dollars' worth.
    flowfright (FLO frite) - n. The desperate attempt by a
    homeowner to talk his overflowing toilet into backing down.
    fluggling (FLUG ul ing) - v. The dangerous practice, in a
    darkened room, of using one's finger to guide the end of an
    electrical plug into a wall socket.
    fraznit (FRAHS nit) - n. Any string hanging from an
    article of clothing, which when pulled causes the article to
    completely unravel.
    frust (frust) - n. The small line of debris that refuses
    to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person
    across the room until he finally decides to give up and
    sweep it under the rug.
    furbling (FER bling) - v. Having to wander through a maze
    of ropes at an airport of bank even when you are the only
    person in line.
    furnidents (FER nih dents) - n. The indentations that
    appear in carpets after a piece of furniture has been
    removed.
    furterus zone (fer TER us zohn) - n. The empty stretches
    of bun on either end of a hot dog.
    garmites (GAR mitz) - n. Those items of clothing that fit
    perfectly in the store, but somehow shrink on the way home.
    genderplex (JEN dur pleks) - n. The predicament of a
    person in a theme restaurant who is unable to determine his
    or her designated bathroom (e.g., turtles and tortoises).
    gertatious (gur TAY shus) - adj. Having the adolescent
    fear that hanging one's arm over the bed at night will mean
    being dragged under.
    gimplexus (gim PLEK sis) - n. The rear area of the thighs,
    which must be peeled from the car seat on hot summer days.
    gladhandling (GLAD han dling) - n. To attempt, with
    frustrating results, to find and separate the ends of a
    plastic-sandwich or trash bag.
    glantics (GLAN tiks) - n. Two people, who, while making
    out, open their eyes at the same time to see if the other
    is looking.
    glarpo (GLAR po) - n. The juncture of the ear and skull
    where pencils are stored.
    gleemule (GLEE mule) - n. (a unit of measure) One unit of
    toothpaste, measured from bristle to bristle. (Not to be
    confused with GLEEMITES, which are petrified deposits of
    toothpaste found in sinks.)
    glutetic chair (glew TET ik chair) - adj. A twentieth-
    century design chair, found most often in movie theaters.
    The main feature of the Glutetic chair is its ability to
    keep folding up underneath a person as he tries to force it
    down with his rear.
    gnarmblum (NARM blum) - n. The dry wrinkly area at the end
    of the elbow.
    grackles (GRAK elz) - n. The wrinkles that appear on the
    body after staying in water too long.
    greelite (GREE lite) - n. The eerie glow that emanates
    from beneath escalator steps.
    grinion (GRIN yun) - n. The unsightly indentation in the
    middle of a belt when it has been worn too long.
    gription (GRIP shun - n. The sound of sneakers squeaking
    against the floor during basketball games.
    grisknob (GRIS nahb) - n. The end of a chicken drumstick
    which always gives the appearance of having more chicken
    on it.
    gromaxes (GROM ack sis) - n. The inside area of the knees
    used to grip the steering wheel when holding a road map.
    gurmlish (GURM lish) - n. The red warning flag at the top
    of a club sandwich toothpick which prevents the person from
    biting into it and puncturing the roof of his mouth.
    hangle (HAN gul) - n. A cluster of coat hangers.
    hempannant (HEM pan ent) - n. Any coattail, cuff, or dress
    hem dangling outside the door of a moving vehicle.
    hozone (HO zohn) - n. The place where one sock in every
    laundry load disappears to.
    hudnut (HUD nut) - n. The bolt left over when one has
    finished reassembling a bicycle or car engine.
    hydralation (hi dra LAY shun) - n. Acclimating oneself to
    a cold swimming pool by bodily regions: toe-to-knee,
    knee-to-waist, waist-to-elbow, elbow-to-neck.
    hystioblogination (HIS te o blahg in AY shun) - n. The act
    of trying to identify a gift by holding it to your ear and
    shaking it.
    idiot box (ID e ot bahks) - n. The part of the envelope
    that tells a person WHERE to palce the stamp when they can't
    quite figure it out for themselves.
    ignisecond (IG ni sek und) - n. The overlapping moment of
    time when the hand is locking the car door even as the brain
    is saying "my keys are in there!"
    jiffylust (JI phee lust) - n. The inability to be the
    first person to carve into a brand-new beautiful jar of
    peanut butter.
    kedophobia (ked oh FO be uh) - n. The fear of having one's
    sneakers eaten by the teeth on the escalator.
    knimpel (NIM pul) - n. The missing last piece of a jigsaw
    puzzle.
    krogt (kraht) - n. (chemical symbol: Kr) The metallic
    silver coating found on fast-food game cards.
    lactomangulation (LAK to man gyu LAY shun) - n.
    Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so badly
    that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side.
    laminites (LAM in itz) - n. Those strange people who show
    up in the photo sections of brand-new wallets.
    lotshock (LAHT shahk) - n. The act of parking your car,
    walking away, and then watching it roll past you.
    lub (lub) - n. The small deposit of spinach that lodges
    itself between one's teeth.
    McMonia (muk MOAN ee uh) - n. (chemical symbol: Mc)
    Noxious gas created by fast-food employee mopping under your
    table while you're eating.
    maggit (MAG it) - n. Any of the hundreds of subscription
    cards that fall from the pages of a magazine.
    (pl. MAGGREGATE).
    magniphobia ( mag ni FO be uh) - n. The fear that the
    object in the side mirror is MUCH MUCH closer than it
    appears.
    magnocartic (mag no KAR tik) - n. Any automobile that,
    when left unattended, attracts shopping carts.
    manglazette (mang la ZET) - n. The newspaper at the top of
    the stack that everyone passes over, believing the ones
    beneath have better or fresher news.
    marp (marp) - n. The impossible-to-find beginning of a
    roll of cellophane tape.
    mattrescotting ( MAT res kot ing) - n. The pattern of gray
    and white lines on an institutional mattress.
    maypop (MAY pop) - n. A bald tire.
    memnants (MEM nents) - n. The chipped or broken M&M's at
    the bottom of the bag.
    merferator (MUR fur ay ter) - n. The cardboard core in a
    toilet tissue roll.
    methylphobia (meth il FO be uh) - n. The fear that you are
    going to have to pay the one cent you over-pumped at the
    self-service station.
    mittsquinter (MIT skwint ur) - n. A ball player who looks
    into his glove after missing the ball, as if, somehow, the
    cause of the error lies there.
    mophenes (MO feenz) - n. The semi-truck headlights that
    invade your motel room at three in the morning.
    motspur (MOT sper) - n. The pesky fourth wheel on a
    shopping cart that refuses to cooperate with the others.
    mowmuffins ( MO muh finz) - n. The dried accumulation of
    grass on the underside of lawnmowers.
    mumphreys (MUM freez) - n. (a useless sniglet) Those
    strange extra digits you find on push-button phones.
    musquirt (MUS kwirt) - n. The water that comes out of the
    initial squirts of a squeeze mustard bottle.
    mustgo (MUST go) - n. Any item of food that has been
    sitting in the refrigerator so long that it has become a
    science project.
    napjerk (NAP jurk) - n. The sudden convulsion of the body
    just as one is about to doze off.
    narcolepulacy (nar ko LEP ul ah see) - n. The contagious
    action of yawning, causing everyone else in sight to also
    yawn.
    neglintics (ne GLIN tiks) - n. The study of why dark lint
    attaches itself to light clothing and vice versa.
    neonphancy (ne ON fan see) - n. A fluorescent light bulb
    struggling to come to life.
    nerkle (NUR kel) - n. A person who leaves Christmas lights
    up all year.
    nevitts (NEV itz) - n. The sandpaper-like deposits on a
    cat's tongue.
    nistols ( NIZ tolz) - n. The small rubbery pads on the
    bottom of a dog's paw.
    niz (niz) - n. An annoying hair at the top of a movie
    screen.
    nugloo (NUG lew) - n. The single continuous eyebrow that
    covers the entire forehead.
    oatgap (OHT gap) - n. The empty space in a cereal box
    created by "settling during shipment."
    opling (OH pling) - n. The act, when feeding a baby, of
    opening and closing one's mouth, smacking one's lips and
    making yummy noises, in the hope that baby will do the same.
    optortionist (op TOR shun ist) - n. The kid in school who
    can turn his eyelids inside out.
    orogami (or oh GA mee) - n. The miraculous folding process
    that allows Kleenexes to methodically emerge from the box
    one at a time.
    orosuctuous (or oh SUK chew us) - adj. Being able to hold
    a glass to one's face by sheer lung power.
    pediddel (pe DID ul) - n. A car with only one working
    headlight. (Related to LEDDIDEP: a car with only one
    working taillight. )
    pedlock (PED lahk) - n. The condition of a bicycle pedal
    wedging itself against the kickstand.
    pelp (pelp) - n. The crumbs and food particles that
    accumulate in the cracks of dining tables.
    penciventilation (pen si ven ti LAY shun) - n. The act of
    blowing on the tip of a pencil after sharpening it.
    percuburp (PER kyu berp) - n. The final gasp a coffee
    percolator makes to alert you it is ready.
    petribar (PET ri bar) - n. Any sun-bleached prehistoric
    candy that has been sitting in the window of a vending
    machine too long .
    petrool (PET rul) - n. The slow, seemingly endless strand
    of motor oil at the end of the can.
    pewtone (pyu TONE) - n. (chemical symbol: Pu) A major
    atmospheric component of towns with paper mills.
    phistel (FIS tul) - n. The brake pedal on the passenger
    side of the car that you wish existed when you're riding
    with a lunatic.
    phonesia (fo NEE zhuh) - n. The affliction of dialing a
    phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as
    they answer.
    phosflink (FOS flink) - v. To flick a bulb on and off when
    it burns out (as if, somehow, that will bring it back to
    life).
    photoyokel (fo to YO kul) - n. A person who presses the
    wrong button on a film camera causing it to dismantle.
    phozzle (FO zul) - n. The buildup of dust on a record
    needle.
    picklettulance (pik ul ET yu lans) - n. The ability to
    remember the entire family's order at a fast-food
    restaurant.
    pifflesquit (PIF ul skwit) - n. The wire net surrounding
    the cork of a champagne bottle.
    pillsburglar (PILZ berg ler) - n. Person able to sample
    the icing on a new cake without leaving a fingerprint.
    piyan (PI an) - n. (acronym: "Plus If You Act Now") Any
    miscellaneous item thrown in on a late night television ad.
    (Example: a pitchman trying to sell an all purpose carving
    knife..."it's the only knife you'll ever need. Plus if you
    act now, this complete set of steak knives...")
    point blimfark (poynt BLIM fark) - n. The point at which
    the wheels on a stagecoach appear to turn in the opposite
    direction.
    porkus non gratis (POR kus non GRAT is) - n. The scraggly
    piece of bacon at the bottom of the package.
    premblememblemation (prim blum em blum AY shun) - n.
    Whenever you drop a letter in the mailbox, you always
    re-check to make sure it's gone down.
    profanitype (pro FAN i tipe) - n. The special symbols used
    by cartoonists to replace swear words (points, asterisks,
    stars, and so on). It is yet to be determined which
    specific character represents which specific expletive.
    psychophobia (sy ko FO be uh) - n. The compulsion, when
    using a host's bathroom, to peer behind the shower curtain
    and make sure no one is waiting for you.
    pupkus (PUP kus) - n. The moist residue left on a window
    after a dog presses its nose to it.
    purpitation (per pi TAY shun) - v. To take something off
    the grocery shelf, decide you don't want it, and then put it
    in another section.
    retrocarbonic (ret to kar BON ic) - n. Any drink machine
    that dispenses the soda before the cup.
    riceroach (RYS rohch) - n. The burnt krispie in every bowl
    of Rice Krispies.
    rignition (rig NI shun) - n. The embarrassing action of
    trying to start one's car with the engine already running.
    rocktose (ROK tohs) - n. The hard lumps that block the
    pouring spouts of sugar dispensers.
    rovalert (RO val urt) - n. The system whereby one dog can
    quickly establish an entire neighborhood network of barking.
    rubuncles (RU bunk ulz) - n. The bumps on an uncooked
    chicken.
    sark (sark) - n. The marks left on one's ankle after
    wearing tube socks all day.
    scadink (SKA dink) - n. The annoying buildup of ink on the
    end of a ball-point pen.
    scandroids (SKAN droydz) - n. The striped price codes
    which mysteriously began appearing on consumer products a
    few years ago.
    schlattwhapper (SCHLAT wap ur) - n. The window shade that
    allows itself to be pulled down, hesitates for a second,
    then snaps up in your face.
    schnuffel (SCHNUF ul) - n. A dog's practice of
    continuously nuzzling your crotch in mixed company.
    scrabitch (SKRAB ich) - n. The impossible-to-reach area in
    the middle of the back which can never be scratched.
    scribline (SKRIB line) - n. The blank area on the back of
    credit cards where one's signature goes.
    scrit (skrit) - n. Anything that's been in the same place
    for at least fifty years without being used, such as the
    archaic bottles of hair tonic on a barber's counter.
    shirtlop (SHURT lahp) - n. The condition of a shirt that
    has been improperly buttoned.
    shoefly (SHEW fliy) - n. The aeronautical terminology for
    a football player who misses the punt and launches his shoe
    instead.
    shuggleftulation (shug lef tuyl AY shun) - n. The actions
    two people approaching, trying to get around each other, and
    muttering "thanks for the dance."
    sirlines (SIR lines) - n. The lines on a grilled steak.
    slackjam (SLAK jam) - n. The condition of being trapped in
    one's own trousers while trying to pull them on without
    first removing the shoes.
    sloopage (SLU paj) - n. The tendency of hot dogs,
    hamburgers, and sandwich contents to slip from between their
    covers.
    slotgreed (SLOT greed) - n. The habit of checking every
    coin return one passes for change.
    slurm (slerm) - n. The slime that accumulates on the
    underside of a soap bar when it sits in the dish too long.
    slutures (SLEW chers) - n. The four white threads that
    protrude from Levis after the tag has been removed.
    sniffleridge (SNIF ul rij) - n. The trough leading from
    the nose to the upper lip.
    snorfing (SNORF ing) - n. The little game waitresses love
    to play of waiting until your mouth is full before sneaking
    up and asking, "Is everything okay?"
    spagmumps (SPAG mumps) - n. Any of the millions of
    Styrofoam wads that accompany mail-order items. (Also,
    SPAGBULLIONS: custom fitted Styrofoam blocks that accompany
    stereo equipment.)
    speclums (SPEK lums) - n. The minuscule bumps on a
    strawberry.
    speraws (SPER awz) - n. The pinched marks on the ends of
    hot dogs.
    spibble (SPIB ul) - n. The metal barrier on a rotary phone
    that prevents you from dailing past 0.
    spirobits (SPY ro bits) - n. The frayed bits of left-
    behind paper in a spiral notebook.
    spirtle (SPUR tul) - n. The fine stream from a grapefruit
    that always lands right in your eye.
    spork (spork) - n. The combination spoon/fork you find in
    fast food restauraunts.
    sprachett (SPRA chit) - n. The rubber bar at a checkout
    counter that separates one load of groceries from another.
    spubbling (SPUB ling) - v. The superhuman feat of trying
    to wash one's hands and manipulate the "water saving"
    faucets at the same time.
    squalkeenus (skwal KE nus) - n. The shock syndrome that
    comes from biting into a popsicle with one's front teeth.
    squatcho (SKWATCH oh) - n. The button at the top of a
    baseball cap.
    stroodle (STRU dul) - n. The annoying strand of cheese
    stretching from a slice of hot pizza to one's mouth.

    [continued in next message]

    --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
    * Origin: fsxNet Usenet Gateway (21:1/5)
  • From patrizias1441@mytusd.org@21:1/5 to Ishaan M. Gokhale on Thu Sep 26 09:10:16 2019
    liberzontia (v): The action of zoning out as you are reading and having to go back and reread

    On Tuesday, March 3, 1992 at 1:55:53 AM UTC-8, Ishaan M. Gokhale wrote:
    The following is a complete list of sniglets that have appeared
    on this newsgroup so far, with a few additions:

    Sniglet = Any word which should be in the dictionary but isn't.

    SNIGLETS ABOUT FOOD
    -------------------

    Cornextortion = When you go to the movie theatre and ask for a small popcorn,
    the guy behind the counter says, "for ONLY 25 cents more you can
    get a large popcorn". Moviegoers, watch out for this common
    tactic.
    Crispthian = Any actor who is hired basically because his name helps sell
    the cereal, i.e. Captian Crunch. Snap, Crackle, and Pop from
    "Rice Krispies" are also crispthians. No one would hire them
    if their names were "Sputter", "Thutter", and "Whizz", would they?
    Foodwinking = The practice of giving exotic names to otherwise mundane
    products. For example, "Salsa Rio flavored Doritos"
    Milkdudes = Any two milk duds fused together by accident.
    Newtrons = The magnetized particles that amazingly hold some fig newtons
    together.
    Oatamatopoiea = The sound that the cereal "Captain Crunch" makes when you
    pour milk over it.
    Snackmosphere = The 95% air inside bags of potato chips.
    Sub-atomic toasticles = The little bits of toast that somehow always get
    stuck on the stick of butter.

    SNIGLETS ABOUT MAPS
    -------------------

    Continentertinter = The person in a mapmaking company whose job is to
    decide what color a specific country is going to be.
    Gapiana = The little strip of land between the "You are now leaving"
    and "You are now entering" signs when you cross from one state
    into another.
    Geosniglet = Any word that should be in the atlas but isn't.
    Hawaska = In an atlas, the rectangular box which contains Hawaii and
    Alaska and is located just off the coast of Arizona.

    SNIGLETS ABOUT SHOPPING
    -----------------------

    Hereoglyph = A little stick figure on a mallmanac (see below) that tells you
    where you are in a mall because you can't tell by yourself
    because there is no face on it. (Often the words "You Are Here"
    occur at the bottom of the hereoglyph)
    Mallmanac = In a mall, the giant maze with blocks and numbers on it, otherwise
    known as the "Directory".

    OTHER SNIGLETS
    --------------

    Delusions of Greendeur = Sometimes products will try to pander to you
    consciousness by claiming to be ozone friendly, environmentally-
    safe, ... no animal testing required. These products are called
    "Delusions of Greendeur". For example, Glad bags. It actually
    says on the back of the box, "Can be incenerated safely,
    providing more fuel value than wood or coal." What does this
    mean? You can actually heat your house, cook with Glad bags? Discombebopulated = Whenever you are driving along and you can't find a
    house, and you have the address in your hand, and you can't
    find the address, so you turn the radio down. Somehow, this
    will help you find the house easier. If you ever find yourself
    doing this, then you are discombebopulated.
    Exxonerated = Lets say that a CERTAIN oil tanker captain gets cranked up
    and wipes out the Alaskan coastline, but he only gets charged
    with criminal mischief, which kind of sounds like all he did
    was tape "kick me" signs to the backs of penguins. Well, then
    you can describe that captain as "Exxonerated".
    Flushmania = When you go into a public restroom, and the whole place
    STINKS AS HELL, you flush ALL the toilets before doing
    what YOU have to do. (Related to Flushamnesia = When you
    forget to flush the toilet in a public restroom.)
    Barfaroma = The stink that eminates from a person immediately after he has
    thrown up.

    The following list was sent to me from GPF103%PSUVM.bitnet@cunyvm.cuny.edu:

    /* SNIGLET EXEC */
    /* */
    /* Sniglet */
    /* */
    /* (SNIG lit) - n. Any word that doesn't appear in the */
    /* dictionary, but should. */
    /* */
    /* */
    /* Book written by Richard Hall and friends. */
    /* Published by Collier Books, Macmillan Publishing Company */
    /* Original Author of Exec unknown. */
    /* Modified 01/20/88 by The Fiend (RCW101@PSUVM) */

    [lots of stuff deleted - don't worry, there weren't any sniglets here]

    /*SNIGLETS

    abzot (AB zaht) - n. The device in a currency changer that
    determines whether a bill is too wrinkled or not.
    accordionated (ah KOR de on ay tid) - adj. Being able to
    drive and refold a road map at the same time.
    aeroma (ayr OH ma) - n. The odor emanating from an
    exercise room after an aerobics workout.
    aeropalmics (ayr o PALM iks) - n. The study of wind
    resistance conducted by holding a cupped hand out the car
    window.
    alponium (al PO nee um) - n. (chemical symbol: Ap) Initial
    blast of odor upon opening a can of dog food.
    ambiportalous (am bih PORT ahl us) - adj. Possessing the
    uncanny knack for approaching a set of double doors and
    ALWAYS pushing the locked one.
    anaception (an a SEP shun) - n. The body's ability to
    actually affect television reception by moving about the
    room.
    antalixic (and a LIK sik) - n. One who passes over
    licorice jelly beans.
    anticiparcellate (an ti si PAR sel ate) - v. Waiting until
    the mailman is several houses down the street before picking
    up the mail, so as not to appear too anxious.
    aquadextrous (ak wa DEKS trus) - adj. Possessing the
    ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
    aqualibrium (ak wa LIB re um) - n. The point where the
    stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height,
    thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the
    nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye.
    arachnidiot (ar ak NI di ot) - n. A person, who, having
    wandered into an "invisible" spider web begins gyrating and
    flailing about wildly.
    attrinyl (a TRY nil) - n. (chemical symbol: At) A black,
    bulletproof, totally inflexible type of plastic, used
    primarily in covers of pay phone directories.
    bandile (BAN dyl) - n. The thin red strip one pulls to
    release a Band-Aid.
    bargarcs (BAR jarks) - n. The streaks on a car's
    windshield from faulty wipers.
    bathquake (BATH kwake) - n. The violent quake that rattles
    the entire house when the water faucet is turned to a
    certain point.
    bevameter (BEV a meet uhr) - n. (a unit of measure) The
    distance a coaster, attached to the bottom of a wet glass,
    will travel before it falls back to earth.
    bleemus (BLEE mus) - n. The disgusting film on the top of
    soups and cocoa that sit out for too long.
    blibula (BLIH byu luh) - n. The spot on a dog's stomach
    which, when rubbed, causes his leg to rotate wildly.
    blindelize (BLIN dul eyes) - v. To scratch an album beyond
    recognition trying to maneuver it over the record spindle.
    blithwapping (BLITH wap ing) - v. Using anything BUT a
    hammer to hammer a nail into the wall, such as shoes, lamp
    bases, door stops, etc.
    blivett (BLIH vit) - v. To turn one's pillow over and
    over, looking for the cool spot.
    blotch (blahch) - v. To slap the bottom of a catsup bottle
    with increasing intensity, ultimately resulting in a
    BLOTCHSLIDE.
    bobblogesture (bah blo JES cher) - n. The classroom
    activity of not knowing an answer but raising one's hand
    anyway (after determining a sufficient number of other
    people have also raised their hands, thus reducing the
    likelihood of actually being called on).
    boslum (BAHZ lum) - n. The small metal ring on a ballpoint
    pen that separates the top half (MELANEXUS) from the bottom
    half (MOOSTERUS).
    bovilexia (bo vil EKS e uh) - n. The uncontrollable urge
    to lean out the car window and yell "Moo!!" every time you
    pass a cow.
    brattled (BRAT uld) - adj. The unsettling feeling, at a
    stoplight, that the busload of kids that just pulled up
    beside you is making fun of you.
    brimplet (BRIM plit) - n. A frayed shoelace that must be
    moistened to pass through a shoe eyelet.
    bucklint (BUCK lint) - n. The fine red and blue threads
    running through new dollar bills.
    buculets (BUK u lets) - n. The bumper guards on the
    underside of a toilet seat.
    bumperglints (BUMP ur glintz) - n. The small reflective
    obstacles in the middle of interstate highways which
    supposedly keep drivers awake and on the track.
    burbulation (ber byu LAY shun) - n. The obsessive act of
    opening and closing a refrigerator door in an attempt to
    catch it before the little automatic light comes on.
    bursploot (BER sploot) - v. To position one's thumb at the
    end of a garden hose to increase the water pressure.
    busblender (BUS blen dur) - v. The device at the front of
    the bus that tosses your fare around for awhile, then
    swallows it.
    cabnicreep (KAB nih kreep) - n. The structural condition
    in which the closing of one kitchen cabinet causes another
    to open.
    careena (ka REEN uh) - n. Any mangled or missing piece of
    highway guard rail.
    carperpetuation (KAR pur pet u a shun) - n. The act, when
    vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at
    least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up,
    examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum
    ONE MORE CHANCE.
    cereoallocative (ser e o AL o ka tuv) - adj. Describes the
    ability of a seasoned breakfast eater to establish a perfect
    cereal/ banana ratio, assuring there will be at least one
    slice of banana left for the final spoonful of cereal.
    chalktrauma (CHAWK traw ma) - n. The body's reaction to
    someone running his fingernails down a chalkboard.
    charp (charp) - n. The green, mutant potato chip found in
    every bag.
    cheedle (CHEE dul) - n. The residue left on one's
    fingertips after consuming a bag of Cheetos.
    chingrip (CHIN grip) - n. The area where the chin meets
    the neck. Used for holding the pillow when slipping on a
    pillowcase.
    choconiverous (chahk o NIV ur us) - adj. The tendency when
    eating a chocolate Easter bunny to bite off the head first.
    chwads (chwadz) - n. The small, disgusting wads of bubble
    gum commonly found beneath table and counter tops.
    cigadent (SIG a dent) - n. Any accident involving a
    cigarette: for instance when it sticks to your lips while
    your fingers slide off and get burned.
    cinemuck (SI ne muk) - n.The combination of popcorn, soda,
    and melted chocolate which covers the floors of movie
    theaters.
    circlocryogenic theory (sur klo kri o JEN ik THE ur ree)
    - n. Postulates that no matter which way you turn a glass of
    ice water, the cubes will to the back. (Further research has
    established t hat one piece of ice will always stick to the
    bottom of any empty glass until tapped, at which point it
    will come forward and smack the drinker on the end of his
    nose.)
    circuloin technique (SUR kew loyn tek NEEK) - n. The
    popular approach to steak dining in which one eats around
    the edges first, then works his way toward the middle.
    clumfert (KLUM furt) - n. The invisible extra step at the
    top and bottom of a staircase. Usually materializes when
    one is carrying a large bag of groceries.
    coeggulant (ko EG yu lent) - n. The white things in a
    plate of scrambled eggs.
    conagraphs (KOHN a grafs) - n. The raised relief squares
    on an ice cream cone.
    creedles (KRE dulz) - n. The colony of microscopic
    indentations on a golfball.
    crummox (KRUM oks) - n. The cereal that gets caught
    between the inner lining and the side of the box. Also, the
    leftover amount at the bottom. (Not enough to eat, but too
    much to throw away. )
    curbswell (KERB swel) - n. A seismic condition in which
    the curb on the passenger side of a car will rise and wedge a
    car door. The passenger must then climb out and stand on the
    curb until the swelling goes down.
    dasho (DA show) - n. The area between a car's windshield
    and dashboard, where coins, pencils, etc. cannot be humanly
    retrieved.
    deterrency (de TER ren see) - n. The ruined currency found
    in pants pockets after laundering.
    detruncus (de TRUNK us) - n. The embarrassing phenomenon
    of losing one's bathing shorts while diving into a swimming
    pool.
    disconfect (dis kon FECT) - v. To sterilize the piece of
    candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow
    assuming this will "remove" all the germs.
    door slinky (dor SLIN kee) - n. The springy device
    attached to the back of a door that prevents the door from
    marring the wall.
    dublectate (duh BLEK tayt) - v. To misplace one's
    eyeglasses and eventually discover them atop one's head.
    ecnalubma (ek na LUB ma) - n. A rescue vehicle which can
    only be seen in the rear-view mirror.
    elbonics (el BON iks) - n. The action of two people
    maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
    elecelleration (el a cel er AY shun) - n. The mistaken
    notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster
    it will arrive.
    equatt (E kwat) - n. The pastime of trying to balance the
    light switch in the exact middle of the wall plate, so that
    the light is half on, half off.
    erdu (UHR dew) - n. The leftover accumulation of rubber
    particles after erasing a mistake on a test paper.
    escalasticize (esk a LAST i size) - v. To lean against the
    rail of a moving escalator and have the sensation of being
    pulled in t he opposite
    directions.
    euneeblic (you NEE blik) - n. A person who refuses to
    believe an "out of order" sign and risks his money anyway.
    expressholes (eks PRES holz) - n. People who try to sneak
    more than the "eight items or less" into the express
    checkout line.
    fenderberg (FEN dur burg) - n. The large glacial deposits
    that form on the insides of car fenders during snowstorms.
    flannister (FLAN is tur) - n. The plastic yoke that holds
    a six-pack of beer together.
    flen (flen) - n. (chemical symbol: Fl) The black crusty
    residue that accumulates on the necks of old catsup bottles.
    fleptic (FLEP tik) - adj. The tendency of soup and dog
    food lids to slip into the can upon opening.
    flirr (flur) - n. A photograph that features the camera
    operator's finger in the corner.
    floles (floz) - n. The extra (fourth and fifth) holes in
    notebook paper. Created in the hopes that oneday mankind
    will perfect a "five ring binder."
    flopcorn (FLOP korn) - n. The unpopped kernels at the
    bottom of the cooker.
    flotion (FLO shun) - n. The tendency when sharing a
    waterbed to undulate for five minutes every time the other
    person moves.
    flotta factor (FLAH ta FAK tur) - n. The proven
    scientific fact that at a self-service pump, the last ten
    cents take longer to reach the tank than the first twelve
    dollars' worth.
    flowfright (FLO frite) - n. The desperate attempt by a
    homeowner to talk his overflowing toilet into backing down.
    fluggling (FLUG ul ing) - v. The dangerous practice, in a
    darkened room, of using one's finger to guide the end of an
    electrical plug into a wall socket.
    fraznit (FRAHS nit) - n. Any string hanging from an
    article of clothing, which when pulled causes the article to
    completely unravel.
    frust (frust) - n. The small line of debris that refuses
    to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person
    across the room until he finally decides to give up and
    sweep it under the rug.
    furbling (FER bling) - v. Having to wander through a maze
    of ropes at an airport of bank even when you are the only
    person in line.
    furnidents (FER nih dents) - n. The indentations that
    appear in carpets after a piece of furniture has been
    removed.
    furterus zone (fer TER us zohn) - n. The empty stretches
    of bun on either end of a hot dog.
    garmites (GAR mitz) - n. Those items of clothing that fit
    perfectly in the store, but somehow shrink on the way home.
    genderplex (JEN dur pleks) - n. The predicament of a
    person in a theme restaurant who is unable to determine his
    or her designated bathroom (e.g., turtles and tortoises).
    gertatious (gur TAY shus) - adj. Having the adolescent
    fear that hanging one's arm over the bed at night will mean
    being dragged under.
    gimplexus (gim PLEK sis) - n. The rear area of the thighs,
    which must be peeled from the car seat on hot summer days.
    gladhandling (GLAD han dling) - n. To attempt, with
    frustrating results, to find and separate the ends of a
    plastic-sandwich or trash bag.
    glantics (GLAN tiks) - n. Two people, who, while making
    out, open their eyes at the same time to see if the other
    is looking.
    glarpo (GLAR po) - n. The juncture of the ear and skull
    where pencils are stored.
    gleemule (GLEE mule) - n. (a unit of measure) One unit of
    toothpaste, measured from bristle to bristle. (Not to be
    confused with GLEEMITES, which are petrified deposits of
    toothpaste found in sinks.)
    glutetic chair (glew TET ik chair) - adj. A twentieth-
    century design chair, found most often in movie theaters.
    The main feature of the Glutetic chair is its ability to
    keep folding up underneath a person as he tries to force it
    down with his rear.
    gnarmblum (NARM blum) - n. The dry wrinkly area at the end
    of the elbow.
    grackles (GRAK elz) - n. The wrinkles that appear on the
    body after staying in water too long.
    greelite (GREE lite) - n. The eerie glow that emanates
    from beneath escalator steps.
    grinion (GRIN yun) - n. The unsightly indentation in the
    middle of a belt when it has been worn too long.
    gription (GRIP shun - n. The sound of sneakers squeaking
    against the floor during basketball games.
    grisknob (GRIS nahb) - n. The end of a chicken drumstick
    which always gives the appearance of having more chicken
    on it.
    gromaxes (GROM ack sis) - n. The inside area of the knees
    used to grip the steering wheel when holding a road map.
    gurmlish (GURM lish) - n. The red warning flag at the top
    of a club sandwich toothpick which prevents the person from
    biting into it and puncturing the roof of his mouth.
    hangle (HAN gul) - n. A cluster of coat hangers.
    hempannant (HEM pan ent) - n. Any coattail, cuff, or dress
    hem dangling outside the door of a moving vehicle.
    hozone (HO zohn) - n. The place where one sock in every
    laundry load disappears to.
    hudnut (HUD nut) - n. The bolt left over when one has
    finished reassembling a bicycle or car engine.
    hydralation (hi dra LAY shun) - n. Acclimating oneself to
    a cold swimming pool by bodily regions: toe-to-knee,
    knee-to-waist, waist-to-elbow, elbow-to-neck.
    hystioblogination (HIS te o blahg in AY shun) - n. The act
    of trying to identify a gift by holding it to your ear and
    shaking it.
    idiot box (ID e ot bahks) - n. The part of the envelope
    that tells a person WHERE to palce the stamp when they can't
    quite figure it out for themselves.
    ignisecond (IG ni sek und) - n. The overlapping moment of
    time when the hand is locking the car door even as the brain
    is saying "my keys are in there!"
    jiffylust (JI phee lust) - n. The inability to be the
    first person to carve into a brand-new beautiful jar of
    peanut butter.
    kedophobia (ked oh FO be uh) - n. The fear of having one's
    sneakers eaten by the teeth on the escalator.
    knimpel (NIM pul) - n. The missing last piece of a jigsaw
    puzzle.
    krogt (kraht) - n. (chemical symbol: Kr) The metallic
    silver coating found on fast-food game cards.
    lactomangulation (LAK to man gyu LAY shun) - n.
    Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so badly
    that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side.
    laminites (LAM in itz) - n. Those strange people who show
    up in the photo sections of brand-new wallets.
    lotshock (LAHT shahk) - n. The act of parking your car,
    walking away, and then watching it roll past you.
    lub (lub) - n. The small deposit of spinach that lodges
    itself between one's teeth.
    McMonia (muk MOAN ee uh) - n. (chemical symbol: Mc)
    Noxious gas created by fast-food employee mopping under your
    table while you're eating.
    maggit (MAG it) - n. Any of the hundreds of subscription
    cards that fall from the pages of a magazine.
    (pl. MAGGREGATE).
    magniphobia ( mag ni FO be uh) - n. The fear that the
    object in the side mirror is MUCH MUCH closer than it
    appears.
    magnocartic (mag no KAR tik) - n. Any automobile that,
    when left unattended, attracts shopping carts.
    manglazette (mang la ZET) - n. The newspaper at the top of
    the stack that everyone passes over, believing the ones
    beneath have better or fresher news.
    marp (marp) - n. The impossible-to-find beginning of a
    roll of cellophane tape.
    mattrescotting ( MAT res kot ing) - n. The pattern of gray
    and white lines on an institutional mattress.
    maypop (MAY pop) - n. A bald tire.
    memnants (MEM nents) - n. The chipped or broken M&M's at
    the bottom of the bag.
    merferator (MUR fur ay ter) - n. The cardboard core in a
    toilet tissue roll.
    methylphobia (meth il FO be uh) - n. The fear that you are
    going to have to pay the one cent you over-pumped at the
    self-service station.
    mittsquinter (MIT skwint ur) - n. A ball player who looks
    into his glove after missing the ball, as if, somehow, the
    cause of the error lies there.
    mophenes (MO feenz) - n. The semi-truck headlights that
    invade your motel room at three in the morning.
    motspur (MOT sper) - n. The pesky fourth wheel on a
    shopping cart that refuses to cooperate with the others.
    mowmuffins ( MO muh finz) - n. The dried accumulation of
    grass on the underside of lawnmowers.
    mumphreys (MUM freez) - n. (a useless sniglet) Those
    strange extra digits you find on push-button phones.
    musquirt (MUS kwirt) - n. The water that comes out of the
    initial squirts of a squeeze mustard bottle.
    mustgo (MUST go) - n. Any item of food that has been
    sitting in the refrigerator so long that it has become a
    science project.
    napjerk (NAP jurk) - n. The sudden convulsion of the body
    just as one is about to doze off.
    narcolepulacy (nar ko LEP ul ah see) - n. The contagious
    action of yawning, causing everyone else in sight to also
    yawn.
    neglintics (ne GLIN tiks) - n. The study of why dark lint
    attaches itself to light clothing and vice versa.
    neonphancy (ne ON fan see) - n. A fluorescent light bulb
    struggling to come to life.
    nerkle (NUR kel) - n. A person who leaves Christmas lights
    up all year.
    nevitts (NEV itz) - n. The sandpaper-like deposits on a
    cat's tongue.
    nistols ( NIZ tolz) - n. The small rubbery pads on the
    bottom of a dog's paw.
    niz (niz) - n. An annoying hair at the top of a movie
    screen.
    nugloo (NUG lew) - n. The single continuous eyebrow that
    covers the entire forehead.
    oatgap (OHT gap) - n. The empty space in a cereal box
    created by "settling during shipment."
    opling (OH pling) - n. The act, when feeding a baby, of
    opening and closing one's mouth, smacking one's lips and
    making yummy noises, in the hope that baby will do the same.
    optortionist (op TOR shun ist) - n. The kid in school who
    can turn his eyelids inside out.
    orogami (or oh GA mee) - n. The miraculous folding process
    that allows Kleenexes to methodically emerge from the box
    one at a time.
    orosuctuous (or oh SUK chew us) - adj. Being able to hold
    a glass to one's face by sheer lung power.
    pediddel (pe DID ul) - n. A car with only one working
    headlight. (Related to LEDDIDEP: a car with only one
    working taillight. )
    pedlock (PED lahk) - n. The condition of a bicycle pedal
    wedging itself against the kickstand.
    pelp (pelp) - n. The crumbs and food particles that
    accumulate in the cracks of dining tables.
    penciventilation (pen si ven ti LAY shun) - n. The act of
    blowing on the tip of a pencil after sharpening it.
    percuburp (PER kyu berp) - n. The final gasp a coffee
    percolator makes to alert you it is ready.
    petribar (PET ri bar) - n. Any sun-bleached prehistoric
    candy that has been sitting in the window of a vending
    machine too long .
    petrool (PET rul) - n. The slow, seemingly endless strand
    of motor oil at the end of the can.
    pewtone (pyu TONE) - n. (chemical symbol: Pu) A major
    atmospheric component of towns with paper mills.
    phistel (FIS tul) - n. The brake pedal on the passenger
    side of the car that you wish existed when you're riding
    with a lunatic.
    phonesia (fo NEE zhuh) - n. The affliction of dialing a
    phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as
    they answer.
    phosflink (FOS flink) - v. To flick a bulb on and off when
    it burns out (as if, somehow, that will bring it back to
    life).
    photoyokel (fo to YO kul) - n. A person who presses the
    wrong button on a film camera causing it to dismantle.
    phozzle (FO zul) - n. The buildup of dust on a record
    needle.
    picklettulance (pik ul ET yu lans) - n. The ability to
    remember the entire family's order at a fast-food
    restaurant.
    pifflesquit (PIF ul skwit) - n. The wire net surrounding
    the cork of a champagne bottle.
    pillsburglar (PILZ berg ler) - n. Person able to sample
    the icing on a new cake without leaving a fingerprint.
    piyan (PI an) - n. (acronym: "Plus If You Act Now") Any
    miscellaneous item thrown in on a late night television ad.
    (Example: a pitchman trying to sell an all purpose carving
    knife..."it's the only knife you'll ever need. Plus if you
    act now, this complete set of steak knives...")
    point blimfark (poynt BLIM fark) - n. The point at which
    the wheels on a stagecoach appear to turn in the opposite
    direction.
    porkus non gratis (POR kus non GRAT is) - n. The scraggly
    piece of bacon at the bottom of the package.
    premblememblemation (prim blum em blum AY shun) - n.
    Whenever you drop a letter in the mailbox, you always
    re-check to make sure it's gone down.
    profanitype (pro FAN i tipe) - n. The special symbols used
    by cartoonists to replace swear words (points, asterisks,
    stars, and so on). It is yet to be determined which
    specific character represents which specific expletive.
    psychophobia (sy ko FO be uh) - n. The compulsion, when
    using a host's bathroom, to peer behind the shower curtain
    and make sure no one is waiting for you.
    pupkus (PUP kus) - n. The moist residue left on a window
    after a dog presses its nose to it.
    purpitation (per pi TAY shun) - v. To take something off
    the grocery shelf, decide you don't want it, and then put it
    in another section.
    retrocarbonic (ret to kar BON ic) - n. Any drink machine
    that dispenses the soda before the cup.
    riceroach (RYS rohch) - n. The burnt krispie in every bowl
    of Rice Krispies.
    rignition (rig NI shun) - n. The embarrassing action of
    trying to start one's car with the engine already running.
    rocktose (ROK tohs) - n. The hard lumps that block the
    pouring spouts of sugar dispensers.
    rovalert (RO val urt) - n. The system whereby one dog can
    quickly establish an entire neighborhood network of barking.
    rubuncles (RU bunk ulz) - n. The bumps on an uncooked
    chicken.
    sark (sark) - n. The marks left on one's ankle after
    wearing tube socks all day.
    scadink (SKA dink) - n. The annoying buildup of ink on the
    end of a ball-point pen.
    scandroids (SKAN droydz) - n. The striped price codes
    which mysteriously began appearing on consumer products a
    few years ago.
    schlattwhapper (SCHLAT wap ur) - n. The window shade that
    allows itself to be pulled down, hesitates for a second,
    then snaps up in your face.
    schnuffel (SCHNUF ul) - n. A dog's practice of
    continuously nuzzling your crotch in mixed company.
    scrabitch (SKRAB ich) - n. The impossible-to-reach area in
    the middle of the back which can never be scratched.
    scribline (SKRIB line) - n. The blank area on the back of
    credit cards where one's signature goes.
    scrit (skrit) - n. Anything that's been in the same place
    for at least fifty years without being used, such as the
    archaic bottles of hair tonic on a barber's counter.
    shirtlop (SHURT lahp) - n. The condition of a shirt that
    has been improperly buttoned.
    shoefly (SHEW fliy) - n. The aeronautical terminology for
    a football player who misses the punt and launches his shoe
    instead.
    shuggleftulation (shug lef tuyl AY shun) - n. The actions
    two people approaching, trying to get around each other, and
    muttering "thanks for the dance."
    sirlines (SIR lines) - n. The lines on a grilled steak.
    slackjam (SLAK jam) - n. The condition of being trapped in
    one's own trousers while trying to pull them on without
    first removing the shoes.
    sloopage (SLU paj) - n. The tendency of hot dogs,
    hamburgers, and sandwich contents to slip from between their
    covers.
    slotgreed (SLOT greed) - n. The habit of checking every
    coin return one passes for change.
    slurm (slerm) - n. The slime that accumulates on the
    underside of a soap bar when it sits in the dish too long.
    slutures (SLEW chers) - n. The four white threads that
    protrude from Levis after the tag has been removed.
    sniffleridge (SNIF ul rij) - n. The trough leading from
    the nose to the upper lip.
    snorfing (SNORF ing) - n. The little game waitresses love
    to play of waiting until your mouth is full before sneaking
    up and asking, "Is everything okay?"
    spagmumps (SPAG mumps) - n. Any of the millions of
    Styrofoam wads that accompany mail-order items. (Also,
    SPAGBULLIONS: custom fitted Styrofoam blocks that accompany
    stereo equipment.)
    speclums (SPEK lums) - n. The minuscule bumps on a
    strawberry.
    speraws (SPER awz) - n. The pinched marks on the ends of
    hot dogs.
    spibble (SPIB ul) - n. The metal barrier on a rotary phone
    that prevents you from dailing past 0.
    spirobits (SPY ro bits) - n. The frayed bits of left-
    behind paper in a spiral notebook.
    spirtle (SPUR tul) - n. The fine stream from a grapefruit
    that always lands right in your eye.
    spork (spork) - n. The combination spoon/fork you find in
    fast food restauraunts.
    sprachett (SPRA chit) - n. The rubber bar at a checkout
    counter that separates one load of groceries from another.
    spubbling (SPUB ling) - v. The superhuman feat of trying
    to wash one's hands and manipulate the "water saving"
    faucets at the same time.
    squalkeenus (skwal KE nus) - n. The shock syndrome that
    comes from biting into a popsicle with one's front teeth.
    squatcho (SKWATCH oh) - n. The button at the top of a
    baseball cap.

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