On Friday, February 21, 1997 1:00:00 AM UTC-7, Edward A. Lawrence, Sr. wrote:a pawn shop. If I had four, I'd be a pinball machine." The King laughed, not because he wanted to but because he had to(two)!Anyone remember this oldie?Ed Lawrence wa5...@earthlink.net
Back in the Stone Age, when I was a kid, There was a rather long poem that started:It was the night of the Kings' Castration, or the Last of the Royal balls. It included this:"Balls!" Said the Queen! "If I had two, I'd be King. If I had three, I'd be
Twas the night of the royal castration. And all of the kinds counts and no accounts were seated at the fourth corner of the round table. When in walked David with his jewelled jockstrap. Hole said David. What hole said the King. Asshole said David. Forthis he was cast into the lions den. Being the sly sonofabitch that he was David sidestepped the lion and grabbed him by the left testicle. Oh that tickles said the lion. What tickles said David. The left testicles said the lion. Upon leaving the lions
On Tuesday, January 21, 2014 at 11:31:29 AM UTC-5, diesel...@gmail.com wrote:male was fair game for induction into the US Army for a period of 2 years or until you were separated by death or dismemberment while serving your country. Enlisting in other branches was an option that my uncles, both vets of WWII and Korea, told me I
Oh, this takes me back to 1966, Keesler AFB enlisted barracks in the Triangle area. In those days, the draft was the law of the land and there was a war in progress. This meant that, baring a deferment due to marital or academic status, any able bodied
Once I was through Basic Training and shipped to Tech School, I discovered that a number of my fellow enlistees were former college students who had lost their deferment from the draft but were smart enough to join the Air Force. This brings us aroundto a really great guy whose name I do not recall that after the application of alcohol would break into a recitation of:
‘Twas the night of the king’s castration.the only constant is change. Thank you for sharing but know, this is a work in progress.
‘Twas the night of the king’s last ball…
That rattled around in my head for a few decades until there was google and it dawned on me that this literary work might be out there somewhere. This isn’t the first time I’ve looked for it but to all contributors, the tradition lives on proving
Thanks to all contributors. Especially Ed Lawrence Jr. Sir, your rendition bears many similarities to the version I heard over 50 years ago. Thank you for your contribution to this historic poem.be a pawn shop. If I had four, I'd be a pinball machine." The King laughed, not because he wanted to but because he had to(two)!Anyone remember this oldie?Ed Lawrence wa5...@earthlink.net
Maybe if I’m still around next year (2023) I will fire up the wayback machine again to see the current state of ‘Twas the night of the king’s castration.
Bob Fitzpatrick
mor...@yahoo.com
On Friday, February 21, 1997 1:00:00 AM UTC-7, Edward A. Lawrence, Sr. wrote:
Back in the Stone Age, when I was a kid, There was a rather long poem that started:It was the night of the Kings' Castration, or the Last of the Royal balls. It included this:"Balls!" Said the Queen! "If I had two, I'd be King. If I had three, I'd
For this he was cast into the lions den. Being the sly sonofabitch that he was David sidestepped the lion and grabbed him by the left testicle. Oh that tickles said the lion. What tickles said David. The left testicles said the lion. Upon leaving theTwas the night of the royal castration. And all of the kinds counts and no accounts were seated at the fourth corner of the round table. When in walked David with his jewelled jockstrap. Hole said David. What hole said the King. Asshole said David.
On Monday, December 27, 2021 at 10:29:03 PM UTC-5, Bob Fitzpatrick wrote:bodied male was fair game for induction into the US Army for a period of 2 years or until you were separated by death or dismemberment while serving your country. Enlisting in other branches was an option that my uncles, both vets of WWII and Korea, told
On Tuesday, January 21, 2014 at 11:31:29 AM UTC-5, diesel...@gmail.com wrote:
Oh, this takes me back to 1966, Keesler AFB enlisted barracks in the Triangle area. In those days, the draft was the law of the land and there was a war in progress. This meant that, baring a deferment due to marital or academic status, any able
around to a really great guy whose name I do not recall that after the application of alcohol would break into a recitation of:Once I was through Basic Training and shipped to Tech School, I discovered that a number of my fellow enlistees were former college students who had lost their deferment from the draft but were smart enough to join the Air Force. This brings us
the only constant is change. Thank you for sharing but know, this is a work in progress.‘Twas the night of the king’s castration.
‘Twas the night of the king’s last ball…
That rattled around in my head for a few decades until there was google and it dawned on me that this literary work might be out there somewhere. This isn’t the first time I’ve looked for it but to all contributors, the tradition lives on proving
d be a pawn shop. If I had four, I'd be a pinball machine." The King laughed, not because he wanted to but because he had to(two)!Anyone remember this oldie?Ed Lawrence wa5...@earthlink.netThanks to all contributors. Especially Ed Lawrence Jr. Sir, your rendition bears many similarities to the version I heard over 50 years ago. Thank you for your contribution to this historic poem.
Maybe if I’m still around next year (2023) I will fire up the wayback machine again to see the current state of ‘Twas the night of the king’s castration.
Bob Fitzpatrick
mor...@yahoo.com
On Friday, February 21, 1997 1:00:00 AM UTC-7, Edward A. Lawrence, Sr. wrote:
Back in the Stone Age, when I was a kid, There was a rather long poem that started:It was the night of the Kings' Castration, or the Last of the Royal balls. It included this:"Balls!" Said the Queen! "If I had two, I'd be King. If I had three, I'
For this he was cast into the lions den. Being the sly sonofabitch that he was David sidestepped the lion and grabbed him by the left testicle. Oh that tickles said the lion. What tickles said David. The left testicles said the lion. Upon leaving theTwas the night of the royal castration. And all of the kinds counts and no accounts were seated at the fourth corner of the round table. When in walked David with his jewelled jockstrap. Hole said David. What hole said the King. Asshole said David.
Here's how I remember it
‘Twas the night of the King’s castration
‘Twas the night of the King’s last ball
All the counts, discounts and no accounts,
Were assembled in the King’s great hall.
The no-accounts were standing around flinging camel turds
Because bull shitting hadn't been heard of yet.
In walks our hero named Daniel. "Ha Ho", said Daniel to the King.
"What ho", said the King to Daniel. "The Queen's ho", said Daniel to the King.
"Oh fuck the Queen", said the King
And 30,000 loyal subjects got trampled in the rush
For in those days the King’s word was law
"Where's the Royal Princess", asked Daniel.
"She's in bed with Dyptheria", said the King.
"You mean that Greek bastard's back it town again."
This angers the King and he throws Daniel into the lion's den.
The lion rushes: is this the end of our hero?
No. Daniel grabs the lion by the right ball & gives it a gentle twist to the left.
Ooh that tickles said the lion, what tickles said Daniel, testicles said the lion
And with that Daniel escapes from the lion’s den
This pleases the King so he calls Daniel forth,
but Daniel slips on a camel dung & comes in fifth.
This angers Daniel and he begins flinging lion shit at random.
Random ducks and it hits the King in the face.
“Oh shit!” says the King
& 30,000 loyal subjects squatted and strained
For in those days the King’s word was law.
The King stumbles into the Queens chambers ...”balls” he yells
& the queen cried “if I had 2, I’d be king; if I had 3 I’d be a pawn shop, if I had 5 I’d be a pin ball machine
And the king laughed, not because he wanted to but because he had two.
Later, back in her chambers the queen was lying face down on her bed.
Roll over said Daniel. I'll be fucked if I will said the queen. You'll be corn-holed if you don't said Daniel.
Shh, you'll wake the baby said the queen. Fuck the baby said Daniel. You'd fuck a baby?
I'd fuck a chicken. Well I thought you were a foul fucker.
Later, in the King’s chambers, the King was dreaming “more land, more land, I want more land”
And so the queen rolled over and gave him two more royal acres.
For in those days the king’s word was law
Sysop: | Keyop |
---|---|
Location: | Huddersfield, West Yorkshire, UK |
Users: | 293 |
Nodes: | 16 (2 / 14) |
Uptime: | 229:46:08 |
Calls: | 6,624 |
Calls today: | 6 |
Files: | 12,171 |
Messages: | 5,319,113 |