Let me just get this out of the way up front: fuck KLOV.

The site has been turned to shit by the admins. They have no clue as
to how to actually deal with people who are causing problems and are
generally there just to stroke their ego-meat until it splorts. For
them, I offer a clue: if all you have in life that makes you happy is
the ability to delete forum posts and yell at the people who posted
them, you're a sad, sad individual. Leave the keyboard and get a life.

Of course, it's not just the narcissistic pud-pulling that's a
problem. There are at least two occasions on which a known scammer was
taking people for money via the forums, and an admin let him continue
because the scammer was a pal of his. Thanks, shithead; the company
you keep (and allow to continue ripping off a community you're supposed
to be protecting from things like this) speaks volumes about you. Hope
those Paperboy controller parts were worth it.

This shouldn't really surprise anyone, though. If it's true that
culture comes from the top down, then Greg McLemore's shadily-acquired
Sundance machine pretty much describes the ethos that the whole place
is infected with. Let's see: it was basically looted from a
not-abandoned property by one person, then acquired by Greg from
that person with threats of law enforcement becoming involved if that
person didn't let Greg get it. Those are some awesome ethics there,
Greg. You're a real champ and a fine human being.

While it would be possible to go on for days about how shit the forum management and ownership is, it's important that we don't overlook the
forum users. Yes, this pile of almost-exclusively fat, middle-aged men
trying to recapture the pinnacle of their youth (and subsequent
existence) are some of the most pathetic assclowns you'll ever
encounter. In a lot of ways, they make ham radio retards look like the
most socially well-adjusted people you'll ever run across.

Where, oh where to start with this one... OK: if an arcadetard is
selling something, it's made out of diamond-encrusted, platinum-plated
solid gold. But if they're buying, be prepared for lowballing the
likes of which you've never seen before. Dear shithead: that isn't
haggling; that's being a cheap fuck. It's insulting to the seller and
frankly causes them to have nothing but contempt for you. And,
vice-versa, putting selling prices on that OMG L@@K RARE!!!@!11!
bootleg Scramble board that could just about get you an Aztarac for the
same money only makes buyers not want to deal with you. Remove your
heads from your respective asses, learn to breathe in an oxygen-rich environment again, and come back when you're ready to not be a fuckhead.

Let's not forget where the users parallel the admins: ego. Jumping
Jesus on a pogo stick do these people think they're King Shit because
they own some video games, or sell parts for video games, or have a
YouTube channel about video games. This is great, I guess, if you
really like being able to see the other midgets' scalps without needing
a stepladder to do it. But for everyone else out there, you're just a
fucking knob who can't stop running his mouth. Please shut the fuck
up, step away from the fucking keyboard, and go play a nice,
neverending game of hide and go fuck yourself.

While I'm thinking of it: nobody cares if you did give Billy Mitchell
the glory-holing of a lifetime at some shithole game expo; being around
these people doesn't make you important. The majority of them are
total losers with nothing in their lives other than some video game
they've been playing for the past 40 years. This is not something
anyone should give even a half a shit about, so your constant
references to the reacharound you got from Dwayne Richards at Funspot
that one time back in '99 really do nothing but make you look even more pathetic.

And since we're on the topic of game expos: take a goddamn shower every
day that you're attending one. Add more if necessary. Nobody wants to
smell your unwiped, unwashed ass-crack and bodily secretions on their
third day of fermentation from across the game room. HYGIENE,
MOTHERFUCKER. DO YOU SPEAK IT?

This brings us neatly on to the final (but only for this post)
complaint about the forum's lusers: they're right and anyone who
disagrees should have the shit kicked out of them. There is no room
for holding contrary thought - you either go along with the prevailing mentality or be castigated publicly for daring to have a differing
opinion. Fuck that noise; I didn't sign up for groupthink,
intimidation, or threats of bodily harm that the administrators seemed
to think was both amusing and appropriate. Tell me how fucking not
serious the problem is when someone is sending you Google Street View
photos of your house and threatening to rape your wife. Cockbags.

KLOV, you are such a gigantic piece of shit. Die in a fucking fire.

--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
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