• While I've committed many "crimes" in my life

    From Matt Nemmers@21:1/5 to Nomen Nescio on Tue Sep 29 20:12:47 2015
    On Tuesday, January 20, 2015 at 8:25:04 PM UTC-8, Nomen Nescio wrote:
    While I've committed many "crimes" in my life, I've only twice
    eliminated anyone. One of those was in Afghanistan, very near
    the border with Chitral, so naturally it does not count. More
    definitely because the victim, Osama bin Laden's cousin, only
    spoke Pashtun. When I was busy in Cal dodging the draft, it
    got drummed into me - if the gook or chink can't speak English
    then waste him.

    Before the year is out, I intend to make the total three. Of
    course, I am not going to tell you who. Though I shall tell
    you who it isn't.

    Of all the scams I've pulled, the best one of all was to almost
    successfully frame Paul Truong for sending 2,500 fake messages
    messages under my name. In all the years since, no one has
    managed to figure how I managed it. But it isn't Paul.

    Then the insufferable Parking Ticket judge Brian Lafferty. I
    could not do it even if I wanted to, because he is already
    dead, of a coronary caused by cycling. So it isn't Brian.

    Also, I confess that I was crossing my fingers behind my back
    when I converted to Islam. I don't believe in Islam. The
    Prophet Mohammed and I have many things in common, and I think
    he was probably very much like me (except not as good looking)
    but he was no more a messenger of god than I am. Not only do
    I regularly eat pork but I've cooked it and fed it to most of
    my Muslim friends telling them it was venison or Bronx steak.

    The reason I "converted" was the supply of beautiful young
    uneducated hill-region girls to "marry" and fuck is unlimited,
    but only if one is Muslim. All Muslims are very stupid so it
    is easy to hoax them. I think the Pakistan authorities who
    stole my cheek swabs suspected this which is why I've had to
    buy a fake passport for my future trips there. The Japanese
    whore isn't of any use any more, and Arden van Upp has kicked
    me out.

    I took the precaution of sending this message deniably.

    The Really Real Sam Sloan

    I still love this guy....

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