The answer to your question is, yes, you can add oil based stain to oil
based poly (spar is oil based). I'm not usre why the minwax guy told you
to use spar, though. That's generally used for outdoor applications, and doesn't have any advantages in your situation.
I use stain/poly mix on pine, since pine tends to accept stain blotchy (or
is that blotchily??). With a gloss poly it turns out slippery smooth and very glossy. However, it takes quite a few coats to get a dark color.
another option, have you considered gel stain? Adheres to the surface and soaks in well. Since you are having problems with the wood soaking up the color, it might work for you. I used this before I trid mixing stain and poly.
Chris
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