XPost: rec.arts.movies.current-films

By Trevor Norkey

Earlier this week, I went to the premier of the highly anticipated, superhero-comedy Deadpool. The entire theater was full, which was rather shocking considering the size of the theater. People were dressed like Deadpool, while others just sported jeans and a jacket. But what
appalled me most was not the size of the audience or the range of
outfits, but rather the fact that I saw so many kids at this R-rated
premier.

Seeing some of the kids made sense, since some kids were in their
mid-teens with their parents. However, I was very caught off guard at
the presence of multiple kids that looked around the age 7! I don't know
what the parents were thinking bringing their kids to see such a
grotesque, adult movie, but I can imagine many kids were rushed out at
the first sound of the F-bomb.

Now I can understand a parent's confusion to some degree, since the
films of the Marvel Cinematic Universe have all been PG-13, with very
little blood and only some minor cases of swearing. I am guessing these
parents did not get the memo that Deadpool was separate from the MCU and
was more for the "big kids" than for the little kids who had to cover
their ears during parts of Guardians of the Galaxy.

If you are a parent, guardian, grandparent, sibling, or anyone else who
may for some reason decide to bring their kids to see Deadpool, DO NOT
DO IT!!! It's a very entertaining film that I loved, but it is
definitely not for kids. And here is why...

[Warning: Minor spoilers for 'Deadpool' ahead, but nothing too
important]

1. There is a *lot* of excessively graphic violence

Now I'm sure your kids may be used to mild violence, like an explosion
on a space ship from a movie, or fighting in a boxing match. This is the typical extent of violence in films. Deadpool, however, brings out even
more violence than you could possibly imagine. It almost makes you think
that the entire movie was directed by Quentin Tarantino.

Outside of guns, Deadpool's favorite weapons are his twin katanas. As
I'm sure you can imagine, he really uses the katanas and the guns to
bring out all the violence he can. This includes shooting multiple
people in the head with the same bullet, chopping off people's heads and kicking them at other people's heads, and blowing people's heads open
with a single shot. The violence alone should keep your kids away, but
if that's not enough, let's keep moving...

2. There is even more gore than there is violence

Wherever there is graphic violence, gore usually comes hand-in-hand. Now
a lot of movies will use traces of gore in order to make something
realistic, but Deadpool does this times around 100. You know what I
mentioned about people's heads being chopped off or being blown open?
Where do you think all that blood goes? That's right — everywhere!

Unfortunately, the gore does not just exist in the same scenes as the
violence. Gore is consistent throughout the film, even when Deadpool
isn't murdering people. In fact... (minor spoiler ahead)

Now I'm sure that we as adults may be used to this kind of gore and
violence in movies, but are kids ready? Are you sure they can go from
watching Spongebob on TV where the worst thing that happens is Plankton
gets stepped on yet comes out completely unharmed, and then watch
Deadpool blow people's heads up with blood splattering everywhere like a
wet dog shaking water off? No. I don't think so.

3. The language is atrocious

Quick, here's a test. I don't normally like to swear on the Internet
unless it is to truly drive a point home, but read this:

"You motherfucking asshole, you just shit on my whole fucking
plan; fuck you, fuck your slut mother, fuck you, you douchebag;
go fuck yourself in your goddamn asshole, you fucking pussy."

Would you let your kid read that sentence? Would you let your kid say
that sentence? No? Then don't let them see Deadpool, because that is
pretty much what the entire script is like.

4. There is plenty of nudity

Although only one main character ever really shows anything important (specifically Ryan Reynolds's silhouetted dong), there is a lot of
nudity throughout. Pretty much every adult female character has a nude
scene, two of whom are only covered by a hand.

But the big point in nudity is when Deadpool conveniently enters a strip
club, and director Tim Miller pretty much threw his hands in the air and
said "no more covering anything!" During this scene, you see everything.
You see butts, boobs, vaginas, and everything else you probably don't
want your kid to see on a big screen.

5. The sex really doesn't have any limits

Now you may get mad at me for putting that, as you may assume this movie
has one brief sex scene between two characters, but that couldn't be
more wrong. It's not a brief sex scene — it is a freaking sex montage.
That means it goes on for a while, seeing two characters trying new
sexual poses, sometimes wearing lingerie, sometimes wearing nothing at
all.

Outside of the sex montage, there is also a scene with masturbation. I
won't go into too much detail as it is meant for shock humor, but
basically you see a certain Merc with a Mouth laying down jerking off.
You don't see his dong in this scene, but you see enough to know what is
going on in very clear context.

6. Where there's no sex, there are constant sexual references

Since the movie can't just consist of Deadpool having sex with people,
the movie had to include some actual plot. As you can imagine, the rest
of the script is cluttered with sexual references. Whether it's a quick
quip, someone bragging, someone taunting, or even the movie's most
romantic moment, the writers constantly found a way to sneak in a new
sexual reference.

These references sometimes refer to the size or feel of a character's
genitals, other times they refer to going through different sexual acts, including masturbation, blow jobs, going down on someone, and even anal
sex. As moderate adults, talk about sex may not seem strange to us, but
to a kid it can be very confusing and even traumatizing. Sticking a kid
in a theater where sexual references come out every 30 seconds for
almost two hours is typically not the best idea.

7. Most of the clean jokes will go straight over kids' heads

Not all of the jokes in Deadpool are atrociously inappropriate. One of Deadpool's favorite things to do is acknowledge the fact that he is in a
movie. Though a few of the fourth-wall-breaking jokes Deadpool makes can
be easy to catch, the majority of them will probably go straight over
your kids' heads.

Some of the more complex jokes he makes that kids may not understand
reference the cast of previous X-Men films, talk about the studio's
budget, and even talk about previous roles and achievements of actor
Ryan Reynolds. Though these can be funny, kids who don't know that Ryan Reynolds was Green Lantern or don't know the names Patrick Stewart and
James McAvoy simply won't get these jokes. This will mean the only parts
they find funny are the points when Deadpool talks about his penis.

I personally loved this movie, but it is certainly not for kids. I'm
sure you may have thought the movie will be okay after seeing the
Approved trailer for the movie in theaters, but that barely showed
anything in the movie.

I don't want to be the guy who tells you how to parent, but I am
certainly going to advise that you do NOT bring your kid to this movie.
Even if your kid is 12, I still wouldn't. The movie is rated R and FOX
barely managed to keep it at the R-rating — it was almost rated a lot
worse. This time around, I highly recommend you trust the MPAA's rating
and do not let your kid see this movie until they are 17. It is
definitely not for kids at all.

What do you think, though? Let me know in the comments, and thanks for
reading!


--
Obama demands the Senate follow the Constitution and approve his
Justice nominee who was picked to purposely not follow the
Constitution.

--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
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