From A.T. Murray@21:1/5 to All on Thu Jan 5 11:25:58 2023
Wearing a Calvin Klein designer necktie in defiance of any lifetime failure award, Wotnot the Nitwit sat down to sip cafea arabica and to read his Daily Intelligence Briefing a.k.a. the New York Times. On the fifth day of this year of the harebrained
espiocrat, the NYT headlines cast doom and gloom. "Russian Troops Use Cellphones At Their Peril," intoned pages A1 and A7, going beyond the idea that cellphones cause cancer and MAGA Republicanism. "Football Fans Forced to Weigh Their Love for a Violent
Sport," kicked off from page A1 for a touchdown on page A17 and reminded Wotnot of the day he went with Aardvark to a bullfight in Guadalajara and was at first rooting for the bull -- until the matador was gored and lay helpless on the ground. Now the
stories by Kurt Street et al. in the NYT made Wotnot feel sorry for Damar Hamlin and all the football players who suffer lifelong traumatic brain injury (TBI) so that the National Football League (NFL) can earn billions of bloodthirsty dollars from their
suffering. Wotnot decided to take action against the evils of football. He encoded a message for his network of agents running in the field.