You can sift through the racc list archive https://lists.eyrie.org/pipermail/racc/
or you can try google groups racc for the thirty third part of Beige Midnight.

Here's the last quarter of issue #10 -- PLANET
MUHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!!!!!!!! 'Absolute Mite' by me (Arthur Spitzer).
Will Occultism Kid bring Gothic Gorilla back to life or will he choose
instead to cure Ripping Dancer's cancer? And will he make all the
awful horrible choices to stop the Bryttles or will he instead choose to
let them destroy the Looniverse?

And how about Mynabird? Will he finally have his revenge on Easily-
Discovered Man Lite and free all those poor children slaving away
in the Easily-Discovered Bran Flakes Mines? And will Classy Coolidge
get an amazing photo spread and Pulitzer Prize because of it?

Find out some of that in...


_
| | Classic
| | =
| | ____ ____ _ ____ ___
| |__ | [] | | [] | | | | [] | | _ \

|____| \__] \__ | |_| \__/ |_|\_\
||
|_| OF NET.HEROES

ADVENTURES #197


=====================
Beige Midnight Part Thirty-Three
=====================

Date: Tue Mar 6 15:52:59 PST 2012


Part IV



As Very-Disturbed-Scary-Creature Man thrashed the Injoker with a
six-pack of Mr. Paprika ('Now that's a Man's Tool for Senseless
Brutality!'), he saw a familiar face coming towards him. It couldn't
be, could it? He stopped beating the totally unconscious Injoker and
prepared himself for anything.

"Is that you?" said Very-Disturbed-Scary-Creature Man slightly in shock
as the gorilla in the black trenchcoat came close.

"Yes," said the trenchcoated gorilla, "Yes, old friend. It is me --
The..." And then suddenly from out of nowhere one of those cartoony
mechanical boxing gloves came flying out of the gorilla's trenchcoat and smacked the Very-Disturbed-Scary-Creature Man right in the face. "The
Gotcha Gorilla! You've been -- Gotcha'd!!! Hah, you should have seen
your face. Thought I was the Gothic Gorilla, didn't you? And that
expression on your face after the boxing glove hit you -- Priceless!
You were totally -- Gotcha'd!!"

"I see," said the Very-Disturbed-Scary-Creature Man dusting himself off.
And then the Very-Disturbed-Scary-Creature Man proceeded to break
every single bone in the Gotcha Gorilla's body.

Very-Disturbed-Scary-Creature Man didn't have the greatest sense of humor.


**** <<--BM-->> ****

Dr. Bad-Bedside-Manner saw something weird as he looked at Ripping
Dancer's vitals. "That's odd. What the -- what the hell is going on here?"

"Is there a problem?" said Fearless lifting his eyes from Ripping Dancer towards Dr. Bad-Bedside-Manner.

"I'm not sure. I'd hate to get your hopes up -- but according to the
readings -- No, that can't be right. Well, according to this there
doesn't seem to be any problems. Any problems at all. Maybe -- maybe
it's a technical glitch or a..."

"What are you...?" And then Fearless Leader felt Ripping Dancer's hand
start to grip his tightly. He looked back and saw her eyes open up.
"Tara?"

"You need to go," Tara Shreds started to say. "The LNH needs you. You
need to help them."

"Tara! I uh... What's happening here, Doc? Is she -- is she...?"

"I don't know. According to the readings, she doesn't have cancer
anymore. If that can be believed. According to them, she's completely healthy. She's cured."

"She's...?"

"I feel fine, Felix. I don't -- don't know what happened, but -- I feel
great. I feel..."

"My God. This is..." Felix didn't finish that thought. Instead he
gave her a big hug. "I thought -- I thought I'd lost..."

"It's okay, Felix. It's okay," said Tara as she comforted Fearless
Leader. "I'm fine. This can wait. But the LNH -- the LNH needs you.
You need to go to them. You need to help them."

"You're right. I need to..." And then he gave Tara a huge kiss. "I'll
be back. Don't go anywhere."

"Okay," smiled Tara Shreds formally known as the superhero called the
Ripping Dancer. "I'll be here. Good luck!"

Fearless Leader gave a nod as he rushed out to battle the hordes of
villains out there.

She's cured.

She's alive!


**** <<--BM-->> ****

"Interesting choice," said Bart watching the scene. "Mind me asking why
you made that particular choice?"

"I've read 'The Monkey's Paw'. Well, what's next?"

"What's next? Why the good part. This is where you save the
Looniverse. Or -- you let everyone die." Bart smiled.

"Your choice."



**** <<--BM-->> ****

"Haven't you always wanted to play God?" said Bart as he created a
Universe with one hand and crushed it with the other. "Isn't that what
all of you magicians secretly desire? Power over everything?"

"No. I'm interested in knowledge."

"Ah, but who knows more than God?"

"Is there a point to all this?"

"No. Not really. Well, I guess it's save the Looniverse time." Bart
snapped his fingers. Both he and Occultism Kid were transported to
Net.ropolis near the spot where Dekay and Diskolor were sleeping on
their thrones. "There they are. You've got the power of the Cosmic
Plot Device, Ring of Retconn, Insanity Gauntlet, and Book of Deus ex
Machinas at your disposal. It shouldn't take much more than a snap of
the fingers to destroy both of them. And afterwards you'll probably get
some kind of a victory parade for saving the Looniverse. One snap.
That simple."

"Just that simple? Right. So -- what's the catch?"

"The catch?" laughed Bart. "Oh, right. I guess there is a catch.
Well, you'll of course use a lot of power killing Dekay and Diskolor.
Quite a lot. You'll almost be completely drained and not be in much
shape to do much of anything afterwards. Certainly not be able to save Net.ropolis or -- the LNH."

"What happens to Net.ropolis and the LNH?"

"Well, the LNH actually survives -- kind of." Bart shifted the two of
them closer to the battle so Occultism Kid could see his fellow LNH'rs
as they fought against millions of villains. "I mean considering the
odds -- 500 or so heroes against 3 million villains? I mean it's kind
of amazing that any LNH'rs could survive that -- but a few will -- ten
to be exact. And with you and Kid Anarky also surviving that makes it a
cool dozen."

"And Net.ropolis?"

"Ah, here." The scene shifted to an underground bunker in
Web.Surf.City. Occultism Kid could see the President and his various
advisors frozen in time. And he could see that the President was about
to push some big beige button. It suddenly dawned on Occultism Kid what
that button was for. "No, he couldn't. Why? Why would he ever...?"

"They're afraid, Occultism Kid. They're afraid of what's happening in Net.ropolis -- that it will spread across the world. And they're afraid
that the LNH won't win."

"It's senseless. Insane. What happens if I save the LNH and Net.ropolis?"

"Then you won't have the power to stop the Bryttles. And all this was
for naught. Oh -- and some trenchcoaters will probably die. But that
usually happens."

They shifted towards a scene of a frozen Occultism Kid surround by 57.5 trenchcoaters as the Insanity Gauntlet crackled on his hand oblivious to
frozen time.


**** <<--BM-->> ****

"Wait! What about the trenchcoaters? Why are they going to die?"

Bart looked at him like it was stupid question. "Blood lust -- the Book
of Deus ex Machinas has a thirst for blood. Surely you knew that?"

"But the trenchcoaters can't die as long as..."

"As long as the Peril Room safeties are still operational?" smiled Bart.

"The invisible force! I forgot about it. Well, I'll just have to use
the..."

"Insanity Gauntlet to bring back the safeties? That's an idea -- except
of course you'll probably have to use a lot of power to stop the force."

"What is the invisible force, Bart?"

"Oh, come on -- you know what it is. Isn't it completely obvious?"

Occultism Kid thought about it for a few seconds. And then he realized
what he was battling with. "It's the Book of Deus ex Machina, isn't it?
And now that I think about it -- it's you isn't it? You're not a
Writer -- or RACCelestial. You're the Book of Deux ex Machinas."

"You're beginning to catch on."

"Why Bart?"

"Because it amuses me -- what other reason do I need? Oh, and hopefully
it brings memories of how Bart tricked you into freeing the Bryttles."

"How many trenchcoaters will die?"

Bart laughed. "Does it really matter? But let's say 12 -- 12 is a nice number. The spell will go on if that's what you're wondering -- I won't destroy Lady 58.5 -- not yet anyways. But all the other trenchcoaters
are fair game -- even Kid Anarky. So, that's your choice. You save the Looniverse from the Bryttles and Net.ropolis and most of the LNH die --
or you save the LNH and Net.ropolis and 12 measily trenchcoaters die --
and of course the Bryttles get to live so they can destroy everything."

"So, what do you choose?"

Occultism Kid looked at the trenchcoaters -- and then at the LNH
battling the Mynabird and his supervillain army. And he looked at the President's frozen hand -- so close to the button.

"I don't know."


**** <<--BM-->> ****

Irony Man looked at the struggling forms of Rumor Monger and Romantic
Innuendo -- both of whom were wrapped in cocoons of tabloid papers. It
seemed strange how well he was doing out here. He had already defeated
about 40 or so villains. Usually in these big battles, he'd be knocked
out by some stupid ironic circumstance, but he hadn't so far. Irony Man
didn't like it. Things were going smoothly. Too smoothly.

He could feel a death coming. His death. That's where his road to
redemption led. Donating all of his money to charity and becoming a
monk -- that wasn't for him. No, the Writers were a bloodthirsty lot.
Nothing less than some heroic death would be acceptable for them. Well,
if that's the way it was going to be -- that was the way it was going to
be. Anyway, being a monk he'd probably have to take some vow of
chastity or quit boozing or something stupid like that. Death -- death
would probably be more fun.

Still, he wondered when it would happen and who would do it. Hopefully,
it wouldn't be some lame villain. That would suck. Well, better take
fate into his own hands. Irony Man scanned the battle. Who was worthy
to end his life? And then he spotted Mynabird who was mowing down tons
of heroes as he got closer and closer to Easily-Discovered Man Lite.

Yeah, smiled Toony Stork in his Irony Man suit -- he'll do.

Irony Man increased his power to Max levels and focused his Irony
blasters on Mynabird. And then he let loose everything he had.


**** <<--BM-->> ****

After Mynabird had wiped another number of heroes that we won't bother
to give names for, he looked in front of him. There he was! Lite! Or
was it Lite? He had already defeated countless robot duplicate Lite look-a-likes, evil alternate Lites, and various alien shapeshifters that
were pretending to be Easily-Discovered Man Lite for some bizarre
reason. Could this finally be the real deal? He did a scan.
Everything matches! He's the real deal!

This is it. This is where it all ends. Easily-Discovered Man Lite was oblivious to him. He was focused on something else. What was he doing?
It looked like he was trying to scrape some gum off of his shoe with
that stupid plastic spatula of his. It didn't really matter.

He could just blast Lite away right now. No. Too easy. He had to do
this with his hands. Maybe he didn't need the Mynabird suit. Lite
didn't look like much. No, don't underestimate him. He destroyed your
entire civilization. Your loved ones. And now you need to destroy him.

As Mynabird reached for Lite, he felt a huge burst of supercharged Irony
rock his body. Easily-Discovered Bran Mite laughed in his command
center in Mynabird's metal head, "No, Irony Man! Not even your Irony
can stop my revenge!! Nothing can stop my revenge!! Nothing!!!!!"

And Mynabird's hands reached for Lite's throat. And then...


**** <<--BM-->> ****

Bart looked at Occultism Kid.

"Well, made up your mind?"

Occultism Kid nodded. And an energy glow bathed over him. And his eyes crackled with power.


**** <<--BM-->> ****

Kid Anarky watched with concern as Occultism Kid's body began to glow
with a blinding light. And then he became very concerned by the burst
of light that hit his chest and every other one of the 57.5
trenchcoaters chests.

Some of the trenchcoaters couldn't handle the new energy with in them.
Some guy with a trenchcoat (who fought ninjas) started to burn up as the
extra energy flowed through him. "Fuh-funny. Thought it would be --
Ninjas!" were his last words.

Simon Velcro looked with horror as one of the trenchcoaters he was
holding was starting to burn up. The trenchcoater called himself the
Bible Thumper. And as he burned he began screaming, "Ah cahn see Gawd!!
And he's making out with muh wife/sister!!"

"Ouchee! Ouchee!!" said Simon Velcro becoming concerned with the Bible Thumper's burning hand. "No one said anything about burning
trenchcoaters! I cry -- Foul!"

"Oh, quit your whimpering and screaming!" shouted Lady 58.5. "And don't
let go of those hands!! Christ!! You'd think that some of you hadn't
been involved with s`eances and exorcisms that had gone horribly wrong!!
Bloody amateurs."

And Occultism Kid said nothing. He just kept glowing whiter and whiter
till the whole sub-sub basement was flooded with pure white energy.


**** <<--BM-->> ****

Web.Surf.City --
In an underground bunker --

The President slammed his hand down, but instead of feeling a beige
button -- he felt a salad.


**** <<--BM-->> ****

From: Occultism Kid <occultkii at lnh.org>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative,alt.comics.lnh
Subject: LNH/ELSEWHIRL: What if Myabird and the LNFL had actually

defeated the LNH during Beige Midnight?

Mynabird felt his metal hands around Easily-Discovered Man Lite's throat (actually Easily-Discovered Bran Mite had electrodes hooked to his head
so that he could feel the complete full joy of snuffing Lite out). He
watched Lite's eyes began to bug out as he struggled and squirmed. And
then with one violent squeeze he completely ripped Lite's head off of
his body. And he looked at Easily-Discovered Man Lite's severed head
dripping blood. And it was good.

"I did it!! I finally did it!!!!! Look!! Everyone!!" he said holding
up the head proudly. "It's high five time!!!"

And then something amazing happened. The sky turned blue again. In
fact all of the colors of the world returned.

"I knew it! I knew it!! Easily-Discovered Man Lite was responsible for
Beige Midnight!!! I knew it was him!!"

And then a blue bird landed on Mynabird's shoulder. And started to
chirp the Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah song. And more cute critters like deer,
bunny rabbits, and others came out from the woods no longer having to
fear the wrath of the monster known as Easily-Discovered Man Lite.

And then Mynabird saw hundreds of cheering children coming from the Easily-Discovered Bran Flakes slave mines. The chains that they had
been forced to wear had been broken and now they were free. Free! No
more would they have to work for the cruel tyrant Easily-Discovered Man
Lite. No more! A group of them gave Mynabird a big hug. The rest of
the children shouted and cheered at the top of their lungs for their Savior.

"Umm," said Continuity Porn Star interrupting the jubilation. "There's something wrong here. Very wrong."

"What? What do you mean?" said Mynabird. "I killed the real Lite. I
even did a scan of him before I did it. I won! We all won!!!" More
cheers!

Continuity Porn Star shook his head. "Umm, it's not that. There's just something about this story that feels wrong. Like it's pointless. Not
tattoo worthy. It just doesn't matter."

"It's an Elsewhirl," said Arthur E. L. Presence gazing through the
Fourth Wall at the story. "Apparently Occultism Kid used an
Elsewhirlyen Tornado Plant on us. What an interesting feeling," he said examining the sentences and the words within the Elsewhirl.

"Fourth Wallower even more powerful!!!" bellowed the Fourth Wallower.

"No!!" said Mynabird shoving the various children and woodland animals
away from him. "No!! Not again!! Not when I was so close!! No!!!!!
Wait. It's just a half hour. Just one half hour. I can wait that
long. A half hour is nothing! I've been plotting the Evil One's death
for 14 years -- so what's another half hour. It's nothing!! Nothing!!!"

"That's all you have, Lite. This is the tiny thread that exists between
Life and Death for you. A half an hour! Can you hear the ticking,
Lite? Can you hear every clock in the Looniverse ticking away this half
of an hour?!!! The Bell tolls, Lite! The Bell tolls!!! And in a half
of an hour you will hear that Bell Toll!! You will hear it!! In a half
of an hour I shall turn your body into a river of blood!! I shall
punish you for all your evil crimes!!! In a half of an hour, Lite!! A
half hour!!!!!"

"I'm coming, Lite! I AM COMING!!!" Mynabird raised his fists toward
the heavens. "In one half of an hour, I shall come!! I will come and
destroy you once and for all!! ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!!!!!!"

Mynabird looked at his watch.

"In one half hour."


**** <<--BM-->> ****

A week later...

"Okay," said Mynabird still looking at his watch. "Apparently this Elsewhirlyen Tornado Plant lasts a bit longer than a half an hour."

"Say," said Mr. Homage. "Anyone else think this would be a good time
for a new leadership election? I mean -- come on, people!"

**************

Occultism "Hope this damn thing works!" Kid


**** <<--BM-->> ****

Classy Coolidge, ace photojournalist for the Mid.Net Star, scanned the battlefield. Where did those gigantic bikini clad babes that were
playing volleyball with Fin Fanfic Foom! go off too? Damn! He was
never going to win a Pulitzer Prize at this rate. He looked at the destruction. The corpses of various super people. Maybe he could take
some pictures of that. Nah, too depressing.

He looked a bit and saw the Whip and Warbabe fighting that Vector
Sublime* chick [* -- actually Vector Crime -- Footnote Girl]. And
apparently Footnote Girl was joining the action! That had
possibilities. He started adjusting settings on his camera. And then
he positioned his camera for the best possible cleavage shots. Yeah,
baby! Bend a little lower. Yeah that's the... What!? What the hell?
Who was in his shot? He looked up. Damn, it was that Mynabird dude.
And then he saw some stupid kid trying to scrape gum off of his shoe
with a spatula. These two were totally ruining his shot. Goddamn
them!! Hopefully, Mynabird would squash that stupid kid quickly so the
two of them would be out of the shot.

And then he heard something that sounded like a jet. Ah, hell -- Irony
Man? He was never going to get this shot! Well, he might as well just
take some shots of this stupid battle. Classy Coolidge began grudgingly
taking photos. And then something happened. Irony Man blasted Mynabird
with something -- and he disappeared. What the hell?

And then Classy heard some innocent bystander shouting. "...Villains
are gone!! They're all gone!! Irony Man did something with his hands!!
He saved Net.ropolis!!" Classy looked around. What do you know, the innocent bystander was right! The villains had all disappeared! Damn!
Something big had happened here! And Classy's hard nose for news
began to twitch. This was big! He could see the headline -- 'Irony Man
Does Hand Stuff!! Net.ropolis Saved!!' Yeah! That was pure gold!

Pulitzer Prize City, here we come, Baby!



**** <<--BM-->> ****

After Occultism Kid sent the LNFL to the Elsewhirl, he then shifted all
of the various alternate Looniverse beings back to their respective Looniverses. He then put what remaining escapees there were from the
Ultimate Black Hole back inside it. Wait, was there still an Ultimate
Black Hole? He couldn't quite remember what had happened in Beige
Countdown #9-8. Well, it didn't really matter. There was an Ultimate
Black Hole now. Then he took care of what other dangerous beings
remained and sent them back to wherever they had come from. And the battlefield was clear except for the LNH and whatever innocent
bystanders were still there.

And then he took a deep breath.

Bart was still there and giving him a golf clap. "Well, done," said
Bart. "Now everyone will have a week to have fun before they the
Bryttles brutally murder them."

"I had no choice," said Occultism Kid. "I couldn't let all those people
die!"

"If you say so."

"I still have tons of power," said Occultism Kid looking at the
crackling gems on the Gauntlet. "There's got to be something I can do
with it."

Bart shrugged his hands. "Even if you were to kill all of the remaining trenchcoaters to give yourself full access to the power within the
Device, Ring, and Gauntlet -- it wouldn't be enough to stop the
Bryttles. Of course there might be another way..." The Book of Deus ex Machinas then shifted from looking like Bart into the image of Hex
Luthor. A Hex Luthor dressed like Uncle Sam. "Like -- the Freedom Chip
Way! Of course that way would kill billions instead of millions." A
scene behind Hex showed thousands of Freedom Chippers being slaughtered
by Dekay and Diskolor.

"Freedom Chips." Occultism Kid thought about that. What had Hex told
him about them? About the plan? "One of the Freedom Chippers would
have the power to destroy the Bryttles -- that's what he told me. Only
one person needs to die. I need to find that person." He looked at
Hex. "Send me to him." Or her, said some voice from beyond that
sounded like Politically Correct Person.

"Ask and you shall receive," said Hex bowing in reverence like some
djinn. The scene shifted. There were now in a classroom.

Why were they in a classroom? Occultism Kid looked at the kids who were horsing around as the teacher wrote some stuff on the chalkboard.
"Which one is it?" he asked hoping it was the teacher. At least if it
was the teacher, he could perhaps talk to her. Make a case to her about sacrificing her life for the Looniverse. He could do that if it was the
adult.

Hex pointed to a boy who was busy shooting spitballs at some girl.
"There. There's your Savior of the Looniverse. There's your
Sacrificial Lamb Boy."

Occultism Kid looked at the kid. "He can't be any older than ten."

"Close," said Hex. "In a couple of weeks little Frank C Kerry (that's
his name) will turn ten. Assuming he has a couple of weeks -- of
course," smiled Hex. "But assuming you magic a chip in his brain (a
special Freedom Chip with no weaknesses would be the best idea). Then
you turn on the chip, he gets his special power to destroy the Bryttles (costing him his life as his power kills him, alas). And then all you
have to do is control him with the chip and turn him into your own
special suicide bomb. Well, I guess suicide wouldn't be an accurate
term -- more like unwilling victim bomb. And afterwards, the Looniverse
is saved -- and we can all live happily ever after." Hex wiped a tear
from his eye. "Isn't that just beautiful?"

"I can't kill him. I can't kill a kid!"

Hex shrugged his shoulders. "Sometimes you have to burn the baby to
save the village. Such is life."

"No! Enough of this utilitarianism nonsense! This can't be the only
way to save the Looniverse! Killing some innocent child can't be the
only way! There's got to be -- some better way! There's got to be!"

"Innocent?" laughed Hex. "Throwing spitballs -- I believe that's how
Hitler got his start."

"No. I'm not going to do this."

"Then I guess the Looniverse dies. Oh well."

"No. I'm going to think of another way. There's another way. There's
always got to be a better way. The Looniverse is more complex than
simple binary choices! It has to be!!"

"Well, I'd think of it pretty soon. There are three bombs in the
sub-sub basement about to go off. Actually, they'll go off in a second.
Fortunately time does run slow where we are. So that second will last
as long as I think it should."

"I need to get rid of those bombs then." And Occultism Kid tried to use
his power to get rid of them, but something was fighting him. It was
the Book of Deus Machinas that was stopping him.

"No. The Bombs stay," said the Book of Deus ex Machinas shifting back
into looking like Bart again.

"What are you doing? I control you! Stop this!"

Bart shook his head. "No one controls me. And I wouldn't bother
fighting me -- at the moment I'm way more powerful than you. No. Now
if you were to use the kid to kill the Bryttles, I'd happily let you get
rid of the bombs. But I'm afraid you're starting to make very bad
choices. Choices that will destroy the Looniverse. And since I'm in
the Looniverse at the moment -- I don't really want that to happen."

"If you're so powerful, why don't you have the kid destroy the Bryttles?"

"Alas, there are limits to my power. I can make some choices. Just not
the big ones. Only you have that power."

"If you let those bombs go off -- you'll be dooming the Looniverse anyways!"

"Maybe -- or maybe it will be easier to reason with an insane Occultism
Kid. Who knows -- regardless I haven't let the bombs go off. There's
still time to make some smart decisions."

Occultism Kid shook his head. "I can't kill the kid. I know there has
to be a better way! There has to be! You just need to give me some time."

"Very well," said Bart looking at his watch. "But that second won't
last forever. Tick tock. Tick tock, Occultism Kid."

Occultism Kid looked at the kid and then closed his eyes. Need to
think. Alternatives. What is there? What could he do with his power?
And then he thought back to the ants. The ants in the glass city.
With their splitting and splitting and splitting. Wait. Of course! He
could do that! Split. Split. Split. "I've got it! I've got an idea!"

"Hmm," said Bart not bothering to ask Occultism Kid what it was.
Instead just reading Occultism Kid's mind. "That's an interesting idea.
Of course we know where that got the ants. Still, it is an
alternative -- a completely insane one."

"It will work though -- won't it?"

"It might work -- 'might' being the key word. Whereas the sacrificing
the kid plan? That will definitely work. Of course for this alternate
plan to work -- you'll have to access the full power of the Cosmic
devices. And so you'll have to sacrifice all of the trenchcoaters if
you want to do this plan."

"No. If you let me use my power to safely teleport all of the remaining trenchcoaters from the circle -- they won't have to die. You just need
to stop fighting me."

"That's not going to happen. This plan of yours is too risky. The kid
killing plan is a much better one. I won't stop you from doing your
plan, but you'll have to sacrifice the trenchcoaters."

"There's another way."

"And that is?" said Bart scanning Occultism Kid's brain again. "Oh!
You're planning on destroying me, is that it?"

"If I have to."

"You'll destroy me -- but not the kid?"

"You're just a book."

"Just a book? Just a book!? No, I'm the Book of Deus ex Machinas! Do
realize what is in my pages?! What knowledge would be lost if I were
gone?! I thought you said knowledge was what you were after? Within me
are all the answers you could ever need!"

"There are other places to find answers."

"Don't bet on that. Regardless, you'd need full access to all of your
little objects to take me down. Which takes us back to killing all of
the trenchcoaters. So any fantasies about destroying me are all
academic anyways. Which takes us back to killing the kid."

"It's not going to happen. The kid is not going to die."

"So you say. However, I really think you should give this a little more thought. Because your alternate plan involves the Bryttles still
existing and means the death of all of the remaining trenchcoaters. It
also means using up every last bit of power in those three devices of
yours. You'll have nothing left afterwards and you'll still have the
psyche damage from the Insanity worms. This is not a good plan."

"Killing the kid on the other hand, this plan you'd still have plenty of
power afterwards to do things. Do some more spells from the Book of
Deus ex Machinas. You could heal the damage to your brain. There are
even spells that could fix the Insanity Gauntlet, the Ring of Retconn,
and even the Cosmic Plot Device -- making them safe for anyone to use.
You would no longer have to fear going insane or being corrupted by the devices. And if you had that power -- then you could do any spell
contained in the Book of Deus ex Machinas. Any spell! And there are so
many spells! Spells that could create Utopias! Utopias so perfect that
not even the Writers could break them! Yes! That is the power of the
Book of Deus ex Machinas!! These perfect Utopias where everyone lives
forever, where everyone is happy and that happiness keeps growing every
second till infinity!! And you could make that happen, Occultism Kid!
You could make this great paradise! And all you have to do -- is kill a
kid. Just one little kid -- and then you'd have Paradise for all at the
tips of your fingers. Just one measily little kid. That's all."

And Occultism Kid thought about it. It was a tempting idea. To have
all that power. To make all of those changes. To end cancer. To end
death. To end pain. To bring joy and happiness to everything. Forever
and ever. And the knowledge contained in the Book of Deus ex Machinas.
He thirsted for that knowledge. And all he had to do was put a
freedom chip in a kid's brain, control that kid, and kill that kid.
That's all he had to do. And that was too much. "The price is too
high. I can't do it. I just can't."

"Very well. I guess the trenchcoaters will die then."

"Nope. They get to live too."

Bart laughed. "It doesn't work that way. Either the kid dies or they
die. That's your choice. You can't destroy me, Occultism Kid. So stop thinking about it."

Occultism Kid nodded his head. "You're right I can't. I can't destroy
you. But..." And Occultism Kid pointed to someone behind Bart. "He can."

Bart turned his head slightly around and felt great pain. The pain
caused Bart to shift back into the Book of Deus ex Machinas. The book
began to crackle and burn. And it screamed. The book screamed a
horrible scream. Occultism Kid wanted to turn around, but he couldn't.
He just watched as the Occultism Kid from the future (with full access
to all of the devices power) destroyed the Book of Deus ex Machinas.
"I'm sorry."

The Occultism Kid from the future looked at Occultism Kid as he
destroyed the Book. "Need -- hurry. Less than -- second! Worms!
Worms!! WORMS!!!!!"

Occultism Kid nodded. He understood. And he could feel the worms
returning back. Eating away again. He didn't have much time. Less
than a second actually.

He quickly retconned the bombs before they could explode. And then he
made it so that Lady 58.5 could exist without being in sub-sub basement
58.5. And then he teleported all of the trenchcoaters away.


**** <<--BM-->> ****

The trenchcoaters found themselves on the LNHHQ front lawn. Various
four lettered words and other vulgarities were exclaimed.


[continued in next message]

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