• LNH/NTB: Classic LNH Adventures #195: Beige Midnight Part Thirty-One

    From Arthur Spitzer@21:1/5 to All on Sun Apr 11 21:23:22 2021
    You can sift through the racc list archive https://lists.eyrie.org/pipermail/racc/
    or you can try google groups racc for the thirty first part of Beige Midnight.

    Here's the second quarter of issue #10 -- PLANET
    MUHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!!!!!!!! 'Absolute Mite' by me (Arthur Spitzer).
    Occultism Kid continues his Magical Mystery Tour of the Insanity Gauntlet.
    Will we all find out that pouring maple syrup is way better when it is
    done by a person in a lobster costume?

    Will Mynabird's Special Elite Secret CD Collection Destroying Task Force succeed in destroying Lite's CD collection? Will the Pit Filled with
    Molten Asparagus and Man-Eating African Horseflies arrive on time? And
    will there be a Net.Heroes on Parade, but in the completely literal sense?

    Find out that and more in...


    _
    | | Classic
    | | =
    | | ____ ____ _ ____ ___
    | |__ | [] | | [] | | | | [] | | _ \

    |____| \__] \__ | |_| \__/ |_|\_\
    ||
    |_| OF NET.HEROES

    ADVENTURES #195


    =====================
    Beige Midnight Part Thirty-One
    =====================



    Date: Sun Mar 4 13:23:29 PST 2012



    Part II



    Occultism Kid was back in the pentagram. And he was wearing the
    Insanity Gauntlet. And he looked at the trenchcoaters that were
    surrounding him. They were all dead. They were all burned skeletons.
    Everyone was dead. Even the Dvandom Stranger. And for some odd reason
    they were all wearing Hawaiian shirts and leis.

    What had happened here? Why was everyone dead?

    He was still in LNHQ Sub-sub basement #58.5. Was it that Invisible
    Force that had killed everyone? He couldn't feel anyone besides himself
    here. Have to get out of here.

    As he made his way to the surface, he realized that there was no more
    LNHQ. It was gone. He looked at the sky. The color was back, but it
    was the wrong color. The sky was green. And the sun? There was no
    more sun. Instead, there was a cartoonish bright red hippo playing
    guitar where the sun should be. He looked at the grass, which looked
    like french fries. Okay, he was starting to lose it. He must still be
    in the Gauntlet.

    He looked around him. There was an incredibly large monkey and it was
    juggling LNHQs. Occultism Kid felt himself drawn to the purple one and
    flew towards it. Once he got inside it, he noticed a bunch of LNH'rs in lobster costumes. They were all carrying around huge pitchers filled
    with various liquids. He tried to talk to them, but they only ignored
    him. He followed a couple and they led him to a throne room.

    And sitting on what appeared to be a huge throne made up of albino
    porcupines was someone who looked exactly like him. He had a crown made
    up of a number of grilled cheese crisps. And two guys dressed up in
    lobster costumes were pouring maple syrup on it. One of them looked
    like Easily-Discovered Man Lite. The other -- Mynabird. They chanted
    the theme song to the 'Facts of Life' while they poured the syrup. The
    guy who looked like him appeared to be wearing pants for a shirt and a
    shirt for pants. And he was wearing the Insanity Gauntlet. Occultism
    Kid looked at his hand. The Gauntlet was no longer there.

    The man who looked just like him smiled. A completely insane sort of
    smile. "Welcome! Welcome! Welcome! You look familiar? Do I know you?"

    "I'm Occultism Kid."

    "Really?" said the look-a-like. "Funny, that's what they used to call
    me back in the days before they started calling me Supreme Master Lord
    Head Honcho God of Everything. Am I to take you are some me from the
    past? Future? Present?"

    Another guy in a lobster costume rushed over with a large bass fish in
    his hand. "Present, sire!"

    "Oh good!" The look-a-like tore open the fish and reached into its body
    and pulled out something that looked like a purple pickle. "What is it?"

    "It is a magical paperclip that gives birth to insane spatulas that
    think they are Eleanor Roosevelt. It is the last of its species."

    "Ah," said the look-a-like looking at the purple pickle thing. "How
    totally useless." He threw the object away and the looked at Occultism
    Kid. "Can I do something for you? Do you want a lobster costume?"

    Occultism Kid shook his head. "I take it you're supposed to be some
    future version of me who went insane using the Gauntlet, right?"

    "Insane?" laughed the look-a-like. "Would an insane person do this?"
    He then pointed at the guy who had given him the fish and turned him
    into a bottle of mouthwash. A hairy bottle of mouthwash.

    "Yeah. I'd say that's a classic example of pure insanity."

    "Well normally I'd kill you for an insult like that, but since I have a
    feeling you're me from the past I'll let it slide. I assume you've come
    from the past to achieve enlightenment and have come here for my wisdom."

    "Honestly, I don't know why I'm here."

    "Why to see this great Utopia I've created. See all of the happy faces?
    Everyone has a lobster costume! It doesn't get better than that!"

    "And what about people who don't want to wear lobster costumes? What
    about them?"

    "Oh, them? I already killed all of those sickos. This is the future.
    You can't escape it! You just can't! You must embrace the power --
    kill the trenchcoaters. Kill them! Only then will you have the power
    to defeat the Bryttles. Then you will be able to reshape the world!
    And don't forget the lobster costumes! Lobster costumes! Lobster costumes!!!!" And then he just began to laugh a never-ending mad laugh.

    Occultism Kid saw a crack in the floor racing towards him. And he fell
    through it.


    **** <<--BM-->> ****

    Occultism Kid opened his eyes. He was lying on some hospital bed.
    Surrounding him were various teammates.

    "Occulty!" said Catalyst Lass. "You're back! You're finally back after
    all these years!" Catalyst Lass gave him a kiss on the cheek.

    "What -- what happened?" said a groggy Occultism Kid.

    "You were in coma for twelve years," said Dr. Stomper. "You fell into
    one after you used the Book of Deus ex Machinas to stop the Bryttle
    Brothers and restore everything to the way it was. We've been trying a
    long time to get you out of it."

    "12 years? That long?" And then Occultism Kid looked at Catalyst Lass.
    "You don't look 12 years older. You look exactly like you did the
    last time I saw you."

    "Flatterer!" smiled Catalyst Lass. "But actually there's a reason for
    that. People don't age anymore. We fixed that. Now people can be
    whatever age they want."

    "People don't age? How is that...?"

    "Yes," said Dr. Stomper. "There have been a lot of changes since you've
    been in a coma. We've cured every cancer. Every disease. And no one
    has to be older than they want to be. We can even bring the dead back
    to life."

    "I see. Well, I guess that's good."

    Dr. Stomper nodded. "You were the last problem in the world, Occultism
    Kid. And now that you are finally out of your coma -- there are no
    problems. We have solved everything."

    "Everything? What about the supervillains and...?"

    Catalyst Lass gave Occultism Kid a light jab on the shoulder. "There
    are no supervillains, silly! There are no more bad guys! We fixed that!"

    "I don't understand?"

    "Well, after you stopped the Bryttles and went into your coma, we
    discovered that there was this super secret organization that was
    responsible for all the evil in the world," explained Catalyst Lass.
    "They were this spooky underground cult called the Dozen Udder Dooms!
    But we found out where they were hiding -- and we took care of them.
    And now without their influence over the world, everything is better!
    With no more supervillains, we were able to focus our attention to every
    other problem! And now -- no more problems! The LNH saved the world!"

    "But -- it can't be that simple, can it?"

    "Aw, Occulty -- you worry to much." Catalyst Lass gave Occultism Kid a
    little hug. "Now you've got to get up. We've got a parade to go to!"

    "But I've been in a coma for 12 years! I can't simply just get up and..."

    "There is no more leg atrophy, Occultism Kid," said Dr. Stomper. "Get up."

    And Occultism Kid got up out of his bed. And he and his LNH teammates
    made there way out of the hospital.

    And when Occultism Kid stepped out of the hospital, he saw huge crowds
    of people cheering and holding up signs. They were cheering for the
    LNH. He saw a big banner hanging that read, 'Net.Heroes on Parade!' and
    'Thank you for Saving Us!'

    He saw a huge number of LNH'rs and other superheroes marching along the
    road. And he walked with Catalyst Lass into the marching superhero
    parade. And then he saw a banner that read, 'Goodbye, Superheroes!
    We'll miss you!'

    Occultism Kid pointed to the banner. "What's that supposed to mean?"

    "Oh, Occulty -- sometimes you're such a big silly. It means our time is
    over. We are no longer needed. We've done our work here. And now it
    is our time to go. This is our last parade!"

    "But where are we going? Where are we...?" And then he noticed
    something up ahead. It looked like a cliff. And all of the superheroes
    were marching towards it. And he could see them start to fall off.
    "It's a cliff! We've got to..."

    "Of course, silly. This is the end. The end of the LNH."

    And the road felt less like a road than a raging river. Occultism Kid
    tried to grip onto one of the street signs, but it didn't do any good.

    He could feel some force dragging him towards the cliff. And he could
    see the edge.


    **** <<--BM-->> ****

    Meanwhile, back in Net.ropolis --

    The villains Londonbroil, RobGoblin, Revamp Lass, Plum Master, and The
    Worm (a tiny worm floating in a glass terrarium) were rummaging through someone's home.

    RobGoblin threw down a bunch of CDs on an already big pile of CDs on a
    table. "There -- that's the last of them!"

    "You sure?" said Londonbroil checking the settings on his flamethrower.

    RobGoblin gave Londonbroil a constipated stare. "I'm not going to
    search anymore! You're welcome to. We should be out there -- not here!
    The greatest battle ever! And we're missing it!" Extreme
    constipation flooded RobGoblin's face.

    "I get you, mate," said Londonbroil with an understanding expression.
    "But Mynabird said this was important. That we had to destroy them.
    Destroy them all! Every single CD in Easily-Discovered Man Lite's
    collection.

    Revamp Lass thumbed through the various CDs. "The Best of Yanni? Billy
    Ray Cyrus's Greatest Hits? The Donnie & Marie Chronicles? I'd say
    we're actually doing Lite a favor by burning this collection."

    "Ooh!" said Plum Master snatching one of the CDs. "The Yoko Ono
    Anthology!! Err -- I mean -- it's the plums that want this CD -- not me
    -- it's the plums!! Yes!!! The Plums!! Really, the plums like her
    music -- I'm indifferent to it -- although you have to admit she is kind
    of a misunderstood genius. It's just true!"

    The Worm continued gnawing on some grass in his floating glass terrarium.

    "Hey," said RobGoblin looking at a framed photo. "Why does Lite have a
    photo of that Vector Sublime babe?!"

    "Wishful Thinking?" suggested Londonbroil as he looked at the photo.

    "You know -- there is something wrong here," said Revamp Lass as she
    looked around the house. "Have you noticed how girlish this place
    looks? With the frilly curtains? The pinkish color scheme? The
    stuffed animals? This doesn't look like a place where a guy would live.
    Even Lite." She looked around and found some mail. "What did you say
    Lite's real name was?"

    "Hector Lopez?"

    "The addresses on this mail -- they all say 'Vector Lopez'," said Revamp
    Lass shoving the mail into Londonbroil's face.

    Londonbroil shrugged. "Maybe they're married?"

    "Or maybe -- we're in the wrong house!"

    Londonbroil rubbed his chin. "Well, we don't know that for sure. I
    mean I guess we could go through the phone book -- and try to find
    Lite's actual home or wherever he is. Which could takes tons and tons
    of time. Or we could say, 'Hey, this is a person who has a name that
    kind of sounds like Hector Lopez. And this person has a CD collection.
    Isn't that close enough? Close enough for supervillain work?' And be
    done with it. And move on to the better things in life. I don't know,
    what do you blokes think?"

    "I say screw it! This is the house!" said RobGoblin with constipated determination on his face. "Better things to do with my time," he
    continued to mumble.

    "I'm good with this being the house," said Plum Master stuffing a few
    more CDs into his spandex costume.

    The Worm continued to ignore his teammates while gnawing on grass in his floating glass terrarium.

    "Very well, if you don't care -- I don't care," said Revamp Lass
    stepping aside.

    "Okay, then. Let's burn these sodding CDs!!" said Londonbroil putting
    his flamethrowing on incinerate. "Burn, babies -- Burn!!" he screamed
    as flames jutted out of his flamethrower.

    "Do you really need to say that?" asked Revamp Lass.

    "Well, it does help with the mood."


    **** <<--BM-->> ****

    Mynabird's cellphone tone rang (the theme song from Rocky if for some
    reason you have to know). Mynabird held the phone to his metal suits
    ear thingee.

    "Special Elite Secret CD Collection Destroying Task Force -- you have
    completed your mission? Lopez's CD collection is toast? Yes!
    Excellent! Very Excellent! Well Done, General Londonbroil!" Mynabird
    clicked his cellphone off. There. How does that feel, Lite? How does
    it feel to know the CD collection you spent years painstakingly
    collecting -- is now just a pile of ashes -- or whatever happens to CDs
    when they burn up? Never to see them or hear them again. Gone. Never
    to return. How does it feel, Lite? Not so good. And that? That is
    just the beginning.

    And now we get to the part -- the part of the story where I destroy your
    loved ones. All of them.

    But don't worry. I won't let you miss it. You'll be there -- watching
    the whole thing -- as I destroy them. Destroy them all!!

    Mynabird's cellphone rang again. "Yes? Hello? What? What do you mean
    the cage isn't ready? How am I supposed to trap Easily-Discovered Man,
    Cynical Lass, and Neil Patrick Harris over a pit filled with molten
    asparagus and man-eating African horseflies? What?! What do you mean
    you don't have any molten asparagus and man-eating African horseflies
    either?! What is wrong with you people? I ordered this stuff months
    ago? No -- I'm not going to be put on hold!! No!! Don't you dare put
    me on -- Damn, they put me on hold." Mynabird crushed the phone with
    his metal fist and hurled it at the battlefield.

    Fine! He could deal with this. It was a small setback. He didn't need
    a cage, molten asparagus, or man-eating African horseflies to destroy Easily-Discovered Man Lite. He didn't have to make a big show of it.
    All he needed were his big metal Mynabird hands to destroy him. To
    finally crush him once and for all.

    He looked out in the battlefield. This is it, Lite. Mynabird is coming!

    This is the end!


    **** <<--BM-->> ****

    Occultism Kid found himself in what looked like some post-apocalyptic wasteland. He saw some grubby looking people in rags warming themselves
    in front of a flaming metal trashcan. It looked like some kind of
    shantytown with various tents and other poorly put together structures everywhere. Where was he?

    He went over to one of the bigger tents that had the look of some kind
    of command center that was next to some ruins. The ruins looked
    familiar. Why did they look familiar? He went over to the tent and saw another familiar face. It looked like Easily Discovered Man Lite
    although he had an eye patch and various scars over his face. He was
    wielding a gun with a spatula attached to it. He shot a couple of
    rounds at some kids that were venturing close to a line on the dirt ground.

    Occultism Kid made his way towards Lite and with a hand gesture caused
    Lite's gun to fly out of his hands. A startled Lite looked around to
    see who had did that. And he finally saw Occultism Kid. "Halt! Keep
    back!" he shouted as he reached for the gun.

    "Lite? Is that you? Why were you shooting at those kids?"

    "Lite? Haven't been called that in years. It's Dawrknuss now days!"

    "Darkness?"

    "Dawrknuss!"

    "Ah! So I take it Spelling Boy is dead in this future?"

    Easily-Discovered Man Dawrknuss laughed. "Yeah, dead. Of course you're
    dead too. Supposed to be, anyways. How did you do it? Come back? No
    one ever comes back now days. They all stay dead. Prof. Joy.
    Substitute. Frats. None of them. Not coming back. Just gone. Gone forever."

    "Sorry. As for me being here, it would be tough to explain -- as I'm
    not sure where here is. But why were you shooting at those kids?"

    "Kids? Just scaring them. Never kill kids. Can't cross the line. No
    one can cross the line who isn't an LNH'r. Those are the rules. The
    Lord's rules. And my job? Make sure that no one ever crosses the line.
    Not a great job -- but -- keeps me from starving."

    "I see. And who is this Lord?"

    Dawrknuss laughed. "The Lord. He's The Lord! You don't want to meet
    him. Trust me. You don't want to know who he is. My advice -- get out
    of here. If you're smart. If not -- then go. Go in there. Go and
    meet The Lord. Don't really care."

    "You're not going to stop me?"

    "Hey, your funeral. Course maybe you're already dead. Maybe. Hey.
    Hey, OK. For old times sake -- want to hear a ninja joke?"

    "Sure."

    "Okay. Let me think. Oh, yeah. How many -- how many dead ninjas does
    it take to screw in a umm -- what is it -- oh yeah -- a light bulb? A
    light bulb."

    Occultism Kid shrugged his hands. "I give up. How many dead ninjas
    does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

    Easily-Discovered Man Dawrknuss didn't answer. He just sort of stared
    at his gun for a while. And a tear fell down his eye.

    Occultism Kid entered the tent.


    **** <<--BM-->> ****

    The tent was badly lit. Occultism Kid could see various people with
    guns and other weapons. They had suspicious looks on their faces, but
    none of them tried to stop him. He could feel some force pulling at
    him. Occultism Kid didn't resist the force and made his way towards it.
    It led him to a hole in the ground with a ladder sticking out. He
    climbed down the ladder and saw that it led to some type of underground
    bunker.

    He saw various small people scurrying around. Gradgnomes? He made his
    way to another room being guarded by men. They didn't bother to stop
    him either.

    As he entered the room, he could see what looked like Fearless Leader
    cleaning his gun behind a desk. But something was very wrong. This
    wasn't just some hard and bitter Fearless Leader from an Apocalyptic
    Future. He looked straight into Fearless Leader's eyes and saw
    something very twisted in them. Something corrupt. Fearless Leader
    smiled a crooked smile at Occultism Kid. Now he knew what the force was
    that had pulled him here. Now he knew why they were calling him The Lord.

    "Acton Lord!"

    The Lord gave a slight laugh. "You date yourself, Occultism Kid.
    Fearless Lord -- that would be slightly more accurate. Although
    everyone here -- they just call me The Lord. Which is fine by me.
    Aren't you supposed to be dead?"

    "No. Not yet anyways. How did this happen?"

    "Hmm. Dead or alive -- you don't seem to belong here. I sense a great
    power within you. A power you don't seem to be able to control."

    "First things first. How did this happen? Why do you have the
    corruption force? What happened here?"

    "A lot of things happened. I suppose if you want me to confess my sins
    -- well, what the hell. What the hell. Might as well. Where did this
    all start. Ah, let's see here. Oh, the Beige Clock Tower? Ripping
    Dancer? Me winning the leadership election? Hmm. Guess it probably
    started with Bart. Yes, Bart. Bart wanted me to throw the leadership
    election so the Ultimate Ninja would win.

    "Bart said that if I voted for the Ultimate Ninja instead of myself, he
    would help me save Ripping Dancer. It seemed like some trick. Some
    devil's bargain. Couldn't in good conscience make a deal with Bart. So
    I told him to go to hell. And then I did everything I could possibly do
    to make sure Ripping Dancer was safe from harm. But there are limits,
    aren't there? You can't be everywhere. The news broke that she was a
    spy. I tried to stop her from leaving the LNHHQ, but the Legion of Net.Villains -- They attacked us and took her. By the time I had found
    her she was -- she was already a pile of dust. She had committed
    suicide. Committed suicide by touching the Tower. One touch. She was
    dead. Dead. I took it bad. Lot of tears. I vowed on that day that I
    would stop the Bryttle Brothers. I would stop them. Whatever it took.

    "Whatever it took." The Lord laughed.

    "So, I won the election. I was now the leader. My first decision was
    to go after Bart. You -- or our Occultism Kid, whichever -- told us
    that he needed those cosmic items that Bart had for some spell to stop
    the Bryttles. So, I sent half the LNH -- led by the Ultimate Ninja to
    stop Bart and get the items. And they all died. They all died. Bart
    killed them all. In fact you were one of the heroes that was killed.
    And none of them ever came back to life. Even Cannon Fodder stayed
    dead. Bart must have changed something about the rules that day. He teleported all of their corpses back to the Loonivearth, so we would
    know that they were all dead.

    "After that things were becoming desperate. A lot of LNH'rs wanted to
    go after Bart for revenge, but I knew we couldn't risk any more lives.
    We needed every LNH here. Things were becoming crazy. Mynabird's LNV
    was becoming bigger and bigger everyday. We needed more LNH'rs. And so
    I made an alliance. An Alliance with the HexFire Club. I didn't like
    the idea of the Freedom Chip, but we didn't have a whole lot of choices anymore. We needed more heroes to stop the LNV and the Bryttles. And
    so I made a devil's bargain with Hex. And I made more deals and more
    deals. Saving the world was the only important thing now. And the ends justified the means.

    "There were of course rebellious factions in the LNH who weren't pleased
    with my various deals. And so I dealt with them. Everything I did made
    sense at the time. And when I killed Charlie Risk and accepted the
    Corruption Force into me that made sense too. I needed the power. I
    needed that power. To save the world. It all made sense.

    "Anyway, we won. Billions died, but we saved the Looniverse from the
    Bryttles. Funny thing -- Hex was assassinated the day after we had won.
    All his grand plans. After that the LNH and HexFire carved up the
    world. The LNH got North America and each member of the HexFire got his
    own little continent. And now days we spend our time fighting and
    allying with each other. A never ending war. Of course, I'm the one
    who is really in charge. I've already corrupted the various advisors
    and others that my fellow tyrants rely on. So every important decision
    that anyone makes -- it's me that makes it. My hand is on all of the
    strings.

    "There's a terrorist group that calls itself the Saviours of the Net --
    based somewhere in Canada. Various ex-LNHrs and so on are a part of it.
    Trying to overthrow my regime. They'll never win though. They just
    don't have the will. Not like me. To do whatever it takes to win.
    They're not like me. Not like me at all. Nope. And so that's my
    story. That's my little confession. That's how I got here. And what
    about you, little ghost? What is your little story?"

    "I'm from another world. A world where you saved Ripping Dancer."

    The Lord frowned and put the gun he'd been cleaning down on the table.
    "That's nice. I think it's time for you to go, little ghost. You don't
    belong here. Not yet anyways."

    "Oh and," said The Lord with a smile, "All that power you have? Well,
    of course you know what they say about power..." And then he waved his
    hand.

    And Occultism Kid slipped away into some type of a vortex.



    **** <<--BM-->> ****

    LNHHQ MedLab --

    "There was this girl -- in first grade. Amanda -- that was her name,"
    said Fearless Leader talking to Ripping Dancer who was still comatose --
    still barely alive. "We were -- we were seated next to each other. I
    remember once that I was drawing some picture -- and Amanda laughed at
    it -- said it looked very stupid, or something like that. And that made
    me angry, so I punched her in the stomach. I just punched her. And I
    remember our First Grade teacher scolding us both for it. How I
    shouldn't hit girls because that was wrong. And how she shouldn't call
    other peoples' drawings stupid. Actually, I think I got off fairly easy
    for that. Probably, should have gotten more than a scolding for that.
    Anyway, we both went to the same school all the way to High School. We
    weren't exactly friends or anything, but we'd occasionally talk to each
    other as classmates. I had a crush on her, but I never told her. She
    had a very sharp tongue. I knew if I ever expressed any feelings she
    would have probably made fun of me. Who knows -- maybe she wouldn't have."

    "Anyway, both of us graduated and went our separate ways. I went to
    West Point. She went to -- I think Dave Thomas Deluxe University. And
    one day when I was on break and went back to my hometown -- I read
    something in the local paper about her. She had been murdered. Stabbed
    by some guy. Dead at 19. Murdered. I think -- I think that was the
    first person that I had ever known who had died young. They caught the
    guy. Gave him the death penalty. I don't know if they ever executed
    him. Well, regardless he's dead now. Dead."

    "You know -- it's funny. Funny. Just thinking about my old classmates
    -- I realized something. They're all dead. Every single one of them.
    And so are the teachers. All my friends. Every instructor. Every
    relative. Every co-worker. Every celebrity. Every singe person up to
    a point in my life. They're all dead. Just realized that. It's
    amazing. So many people. And they're all dead. And I'm still here.
    All dead."

    "Shouldn't be here. Should be out there fighting Mynabird. Fighting
    him and all of the other villains. Helping my teammates. Fighting the
    good fight."

    "Yeah, maybe you should," said a helpful Dr. Bad-Bedside-Manner who was
    also in the room with them monitoring Ripping Dancer's vitals.

    Fearless Leader ignored him. "But -- but it all feels pointless. I
    know there is nothing I can do for you anymore. That I should go out
    there and help my teammates that still might have a chance. Can't --
    can't seem to do it though. Seems like no matter how hard I fight -- it
    all just goes to hell anyways. Like I'm cursed. Cursed. Everything I
    loved is doomed no matter what I do. I thought it would be different
    this time. It was supposed to be different. I was sent to this world
    as a second chance. And I thought I could do it. And then the Tower
    came. But it was okay because you were with me. You were with me. And
    we'd beat it because we were together. I was going to save you. I was
    going to save the world. That's what was supposed to happen. But I
    guess it isn't. You're probably going to die. And this world is going
    to die too. I think I'm starting to realize that. It's becoming clear.
    And me going out there? Going out there for a few pointless fights?
    That's not going to change anything. It's not going to change anything!"

    "I don't know, Tara. I don't know. I don't know. I feel like giving
    up, but -- but I don't want to. I don't want to do that. I don't want
    to. You need to fight this, Tara. You need to fight it. Somehow you
    need to use your powers and rip this disease right out of you even if
    that sounds impossible. You've got to do this, Dancer. You need to
    come back. Please. Please."

    Fearless Leader gently took Ripping Dancer's lifeless hand and just held
    it. "You've got to come back to life, Tara. I can't give up. I just
    can't do that. But I'm afraid that's where I'm headed. Part of me
    doesn't care anymore. And that part is growing. I don't have the
    strength anymore."

    "Tara," said Fearless Leader. And then he stopped speaking. He just
    held her hand and closed his eyes. And waited. Waited for something.

    Something that would make him care.


    **** <<--BM-->> ****

    "Welcome back. Welcome back to the Sane Asylum!" greeted Bart who was
    paddling on some type of a raft. Occultism Kid looked down at the raft
    and noticed that it was made up of dead bodies. Dead LNH'r bodies.

    "God. What did you do here, Bart?"

    "Do? I'm not sure what you're talking about?"

    "These dead bodies! This raft made out of dead LNH'rs!"

    "Raft?" said Bart with a puzzled expressing continuing to row and row.
    "And dead bodies, huh. Interesting."

    Occultism Kid looked at the water surrounding them. It looked like
    blood. Another hallucination. He was still in the Insanity Gauntlet.
    "Where are we going?"

    "To the island. We have to go to the island. To make a choice."

    "A choice?"

    Bart nodded. "You see something -- something has gone wrong. All of
    you is trapped and it should only be a little part. A little part of you."

    "What -- what the hell are you talking about?"

    "I'm not really, Bart -- well in a way I am, but I'm only a small
    fragment of Bart that the Insanity Gauntlet took. It always takes a
    small fragment of each host -- that is the price for using it. But for
    some reason it took all of you. And that shouldn't happen. Nope. And
    it is causing very bad stuff to happen in the Gauntlet. Very bad stuff."

    "What type of bad stuff?"

    Bart smiled. "It doesn't really matter, but we do need to get most of
    you out of here before it's too late."

    "Right. Okay. How are we going to do that?"

    "We need to choose. Yes, we need to choose. Choose one of you. The
    one who gets to leave. And the one -- the one who stays."

    "What do you mean, choose which one? I'm the only one here!"

    "Are you now?" said Bart with a sly grin. Bart then gestured towards
    someone beside him.

    Occultism Kid turned his head and saw someone that looked exactly like him.

    "Occultism Kid B meet Occultism Kid A."


    **** <<--BM-->> ****

    End of Part II



    Arthur "Death to Beige Midnight!" Spitzer

    ==========
    Next Week: Beige Midnight Part XXXII!
    ==========

    Arthur "Same Classic Channel. But Same Time? Probably not." Spitzer

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