• REPOST/LNH: Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon #2 to 4

    From Arthur Spitzer@21:1/5 to All on Sat Apr 3 19:33:40 2021
    Reposting..

    The Jong Company Proudly Presents:
    Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon #2


    "The War on -- Easter!!!!!!"



    8:27 AM Net.ropolis Time

    A group of hooded men hovered over an operating table. Strapped down to
    the table was what appeared to be a big lizard. A Komodo Dragon.
    Strapped on its head was what looked to be one of those
    brain-transferring helmets. Various wires were also inserted into him.

    Right above him stood the leader of the cult. The cult leader's hands
    held a severed goat's head dripping with blood. The blood dripped down
    onto the body of the komodo dragon. The rest of the cultists were
    chanting 'Separation of Church and State' over and over again.

    The cult leader started to speak as he raised the goat's head high.
    "You are no longer Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon. You are
    no longer Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon!! No. You are now
    and forever -- Eggplant the Spring Festival Komodo Dragon!! You shall
    become a beloved icon for all the children of the world -- not just the Christian children -- who can be safely displayed in any public school.
    Yes. Hindu children. Moslem children. Buddhist children. Even
    Atheist children. And..."

    "Enough!" Suddenly the cellar door burst open. The cultists looked up
    to see who was interrupting their very sacred ritual. "Secular
    Humanists!! No more shall you make war upon the Holiday of Easter!! No
    More!! It is Time. Time -- For some Bible Lessons!!!" The Preacher
    then took out a rather oddly shaped bible from his coat -- A boomerang
    shaped bible -- and hurled it at the goat head. The goat head fell and
    the bible continued on its path smacking each cult member in the head
    and then finally returning itself back to the Preacher's hand.

    "No!" the head cultist screamed. "You're interfering with out right
    to..." But before he could complete that sentence a kung-fu punch from
    the Preacher sent his jaw and rest of him down on floor like a sack of
    flour.

    The rest of the cultist swarmed him, but the Preacher was a one-man-kicking-ass-and-taking-names machine. And when the last cultist
    fell, the Preacher took out an axe like cross from one of his pockets
    and used it to slice away the shackles that imprisoned Eggplant the
    Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon.

    "You are free -- Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon! Free once
    more to teach the world the true meaning of Easter."

    And Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon gave the Preacher a nod of appreciation. He crawled over to where his Easter bonnet was placed and
    put it back on his head. And then he proceeded to rip out the throats
    of all of the Secular Humanist cult members.


    OOooOO OOooOO OOooOO

    Credits:

    Self-Righteous Preacher - wReam
    Eggplant - Arthur Spitzer


    Tomorrow: Beige Easter!

    Arthur "Spring Festive" Spitzer

    --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
    * Origin: fsxNet Usenet Gateway (21:1/5)
  • From Arthur Spitzer@21:1/5 to All on Sat Apr 16 18:10:39 2022
    Reposting..

    The Jong Company Proudly Presents:
    Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon #2


    "The War on -- Easter!!!!!!"



    8:27 AM Net.ropolis Time

    A group of hooded men hovered over an operating table. Strapped down to
    the table was what appeared to be a big lizard. A Komodo Dragon.
    Strapped on its head was what looked to be one of those
    brain-transferring helmets. Various wires were also inserted into him.

    Right above him stood the leader of the cult. The cult leader's hands
    held a severed goat's head dripping with blood. The blood dripped down
    onto the body of the komodo dragon. The rest of the cultists were
    chanting 'Separation of Church and State' over and over again.

    The cult leader started to speak as he raised the goat's head high.
    "You are no longer Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon. You are
    no longer Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon!! No. You are now
    and forever -- Eggplant the Spring Festival Komodo Dragon!! You shall
    become a beloved icon for all the children of the world -- not just the Christian children -- who can be safely displayed in any public school.
    Yes. Hindu children. Moslem children. Buddhist children. Even
    Atheist children. And..."

    "Enough!" Suddenly the cellar door burst open. The cultists looked up
    to see who was interrupting their very sacred ritual. "Secular
    Humanists!! No more shall you make war upon the Holiday of Easter!! No
    More!! It is Time. Time -- For some Bible Lessons!!!" The Preacher
    then took out a rather oddly shaped bible from his coat -- A boomerang
    shaped bible -- and hurled it at the goat head. The goat head fell and
    the bible continued on its path smacking each cult member in the head
    and then finally returning itself back to the Preacher's hand.

    "No!" the head cultist screamed. "You're interfering with out right
    to..." But before he could complete that sentence a kung-fu punch from
    the Preacher sent his jaw and rest of him down on floor like a sack of
    flour.

    The rest of the cultist swarmed him, but the Preacher was a one-man-kicking-ass-and-taking-names machine. And when the last cultist
    fell, the Preacher took out an axe like cross from one of his pockets
    and used it to slice away the shackles that imprisoned Eggplant the
    Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon.

    "You are free -- Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon! Free once
    more to teach the world the true meaning of Easter."

    And Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon gave the Preacher a nod of appreciation. He crawled over to where his Easter bonnet was placed and
    put it back on his head. And then he proceeded to rip out the throats
    of all of the Secular Humanist cult members.


    OOooOO OOooOO OOooOO

    Credits:

    Self-Righteous Preacher - wReam
    Eggplant - Arthur Spitzer


    Tomorrow: Beige Easter!

    Arthur "Spring Festive" Spitzer

    --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
    * Origin: fsxNet Usenet Gateway (21:1/5)
  • From Arthur Spitzer@21:1/5 to All on Sat Apr 8 17:33:19 2023
    Reposting..

    The Jong Company Proudly Presents:
    Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon #2


    "The War on -- Easter!!!!!!"



    8:27 AM Net.ropolis Time

    A group of hooded men hovered over an operating table. Strapped down to
    the table was what appeared to be a big lizard. A Komodo Dragon.
    Strapped on its head was what looked to be one of those
    brain-transferring helmets. Various wires were also inserted into him.

    Right above him stood the leader of the cult. The cult leader's hands
    held a severed goat's head dripping with blood. The blood dripped down
    onto the body of the komodo dragon. The rest of the cultists were
    chanting 'Separation of Church and State' over and over again.

    The cult leader started to speak as he raised the goat's head high.
    "You are no longer Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon. You are
    no longer Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon!! No. You are now
    and forever -- Eggplant the Spring Festival Komodo Dragon!! You shall
    become a beloved icon for all the children of the world -- not just the Christian children -- who can be safely displayed in any public school.
    Yes. Hindu children. Moslem children. Buddhist children. Even
    Atheist children. And..."

    "Enough!" Suddenly the cellar door burst open. The cultists looked up
    to see who was interrupting their very sacred ritual. "Secular
    Humanists!! No more shall you make war upon the Holiday of Easter!! No
    More!! It is Time. Time -- For some Bible Lessons!!!" The Preacher
    then took out a rather oddly shaped bible from his coat -- A boomerang
    shaped bible -- and hurled it at the goat head. The goat head fell and
    the bible continued on its path smacking each cult member in the head
    and then finally returning itself back to the Preacher's hand.

    "No!" the head cultist screamed. "You're interfering with out right
    to..." But before he could complete that sentence a kung-fu punch from
    the Preacher sent his jaw and rest of him down on floor like a sack of
    flour.

    The rest of the cultist swarmed him, but the Preacher was a one-man-kicking-ass-and-taking-names machine. And when the last cultist
    fell, the Preacher took out an axe like cross from one of his pockets
    and used it to slice away the shackles that imprisoned Eggplant the
    Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon.

    "You are free -- Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon! Free once
    more to teach the world the true meaning of Easter."

    And Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon gave the Preacher a nod of appreciation. He crawled over to where his Easter bonnet was placed and
    put it back on his head. And then he proceeded to rip out the throats
    of all of the Secular Humanist cult members.


    OOooOO OOooOO OOooOO

    Credits:

    Self-Righteous Preacher - wReam
    Eggplant - Arthur Spitzer


    Tomorrow: Beige Easter!

    Arthur "Spring Festive" Spitzer

    --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
    * Origin: fsxNet Usenet Gateway (21:1/5)