And we're back in the past and can check the eyrie archive
once again.
And here's where you can find Electrocutioner's Song as well as other
LNH Crossovers:
https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/Crossovers/
And its the next parts of -- The Electrocutioner's Song!
The Writers for this Crossover are:
Jef "The KaTeFan(tm)" Kolodziej
Todd "Scavenger" Kogutt
Dave "Dvandom" Van Domelen
and Raymond "wReam" Bingham
First Off we have Halls Jordan and Cliche Dude #2 by Jef
"The KaTeFan(tm)" Kolodziej (Part Five)! Will we ever learn
the origin of The Coachster?! How many bullets does it take to
kill a ninja?! And will all the LNH'rs get into the COMA FAD?!!
And Finally we have THE 501 BLUES/RATTLER HIDE SPECIAL #2 by Todd
"Scavenger" Kogutt! How much is that ninja in the window?! Will
The FANDOM of the ALT.RA ruin the value of his action figures with
those filthy LNH'r signatures?! And is it finally time to have that
moment of silence for Flatulence Lad?!!
Find out in...
_
| | Classic
| | =
| | ____ ____ _ ____ ___
| |__ | [] | | [] | | | | [] | | _ \
|____| \__] \__ | |_| \__/ |_|\_\
||
|_| OF NET.HEROES
ADVENTURES #280
=====================
Electrocutioner's Song Part Three
=====================
Trading Card (cut here) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- +-------------------------------+ +-------------------------------+
| Halls Jordan and Cliche Dude | | Halls Jordan and Cliche Dude |
| | | in the non-sense file. |
| ############ %%%%%%%%%%%% | | |
| # -- -- # %% - - %% | | So, you think that having |
| @ * || * @ %@ * || * @% | | your very own title will aid |
| | LJ | %% OO %% | | the bringers of good against |
| \ / %% %% | | all that is evil. You are |
| \ ------ / %\ ---- /% | | truly mistaken. |
| ---------- % -------- % | | |
| | | % | | % | | Your only hope is to join me |
| __________ | | | | or die with your crushed egos |
| | | | | | | by my indomitable will. |
| | | (LNH CopyRight 1992) | +-------------------------------+ +-------------------------------+ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Halls Jordan and Cliche Dude #2
Part Five of the Electrocutioner's Song
---------------------------------------
"Something Minister This Way Comes" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In front of Net.ropolis's City Hall, a group of costumed figures,
known as the Legion of Net Heroes, prepares to battle an enemy unknown to
them. They are called the Z-Team, mercenaries for hire.
"Z, look what they did with the Coachster. I hope he won't be hurt
that much.", asked Tunes.
"Don't worry about it. Did I ever tell you about his origin? Well,
it started....... Wait a second!!!!!!! When did we start wearing costumed outfits like the LNH and the LNV? These colors don't even match. We
were not wearing them on the way into the city. Now I'm pissed!!!
WOOOO!!!!", exclaimed Z in a flaming rage.
All of a sudden, Trump says, "Z, isn't that a ninja coming at us?"
Z turns his attention to the leading attacker, and recognizes that
he is, in fact, a ninja. A smile appears on his face.
"This just made my day. Mr. World."
"Yeah?"
"We have ourselves yet another ninja. You know what to do."
With a grin akin to Avon's of Blake's Seven, Mr. World pulls out a sub-machine pistol out from the back of the truck and fires it directly at
the Ultimate Ninja. Before the Ultimate Ninja could react, a fury of
bullets were upon him, knocking him back into the charging Legion, knocking
out Typo Lad in the process. At the same time, the other members of the
Z-Team each pull out a hand gun, with the exception of Tunes. He was
wielding a B-B gun. Unsure what to do, the Legion stops and starts to back away, to aid their fallen comrades.
******************************************************************************
In his secret laboratory flotaing over Alt.Comics.Lnh, Mr. Minister
starts to set in motion the next phase of his plan. From his monitors, he
sees that with the added problems of the Z-Team and of Sufferyng, noone
would notice what was happening until it was too late.
"Minister, the victim, oops, I mean the patient is ready.", said the super-computer, known as Squiggy.
"Very good. Are there any problems this time, such as the one with
the Marvel_Zombie Lad clones?", asked Mr. Minister.
"None."
Mr. Minister walks over to a huge empty room, with the exception of cryo-tube in the center of it. Placing his palm-print of the key, the cryo-tube opens. Laying inside is an unconscious SideKick Man.
"Squiggy, how long before we awakens?"
"By my estimations, about 15 minutes."
"That will give me enough time to prepare."
******************************************************************************
"Why are we looking for SideKick Man inside Big.City Mall? I mean,
the last time anyone saw him was at Y-Plex Burp's old base.", wondered
The Forgetting One.
"It's because we went there already, and found no clues to his
possible whereabouts. Anyways, when you don't know where someone is, where
is the first place that you may found them?", says Sig.File Man.
"Uh. I don't know." says the Forgetting One.
"Let me guess. The mall?", asks Doctor Stomper.
"Of course. He may have come here to buy something, and got lost.
He may have been taken by some store owner and made a manniquin. Anything is possible at a mall.", California Kid points out.
"I like the way you think. Have you read any of my sig.files before?", says Sig.File Man.
"Nahhhhhh. I just like malls."
"Oh well."
*******************************************************************************
Comic Snob Boy slams down a telephone book in disgust at a local
comic book shop. He walks back to the Legion members who are with the army
of Marvel_Zombie Lad clones outside the We-Have-Comics comic shop.
"I can't find Table's address anywhere. He must have an unlisted
number."
"What are we going to do now? We can't have all of these Marvel_
Zombie Lad clones hang out at LNH Headquarters. We have barely enough
room now.", says Occultism Kid.
"Wait a second. Weren't you in the Big.City mall scene, looking
for SideKick Lad?", asks Obscure Trivia Lad.
"I temporarily challenged the laws of Physics by being at two places
at once. Unfortunately, I lost, so know I am back with you guys. Wow, there are alot of clones running around here. Someone must be using alot of Mighty Magic(tm)."
"Mighty Magic(tm)?", asks Lurking Lass.
"Don't you know? The all-powerful, omni-potent, undiminishable, super spells that can do anything because it is a plot device. Go back and re-read LNH #34, when Romantic, a super-being loyal to Order, gave the LNH the
Siege Plot-Device, and for a time, changed our lives, until Comic Snob Boy brought us all back to fight the LNH."
"In the nick of time you might say.", says Cliche Dude.
"Yeah. I remember finding out that our arch-foe Manga Man was a
baker. Boy, did we burn his buns."
The army of Marvel_Zombie Lad clones snickered all at once.
Rebel Yell says, "Ok. We have to get back to business. We need to
know where Table is hiding out."
In unison, the Marvel_Zombie Lad clones speak, "He is probably at his safehouse, over on Wood Street."
"Why didn't you say so before?" Rebel Yell questioning the clones.
"You never asked."
"Oh. Let's go and cause some violence. Legionaries, Forward!!!!!!"
Along with the army of Marvel_Zombie Lad clones, the Legion group,
headed by Rebel Yell jog their way over to Table.
*****************************************************************************
SideKick Man finally awakens to a voice familiar to him.
"SideKick Man, do you know who I am?"
"Yes, you are Table, my master."
"That is correct. I have a dangerous mission for you. You can
trust noone but me. Do you understand?"
"I do. Your will is my life."
"Very good."
Table hands him a computer chip. "I will explain your mission. You
are to enter LNH HeadQuarters, and replace the main memory chip in the Legion computer. You will do this discreetly. Noone should see you. If they do, tell them you are adding memory to the computer so you can add the new
LNH computer game in there. Do you understand?"
"Yes, my master."
"Good. Head over to the BootySlide(tm), and you will be on your way."
SideKick Man walks over to the BootySlide. Then, Table pushes
some buttons, and SideKick Man disappears. After he is gone, Table touches
his watch on his right wrist, and the image of Table fades. In his place
is Mr. Minister.
"Squiggy, what is the percent chance of success for this part of the plan?"
"100%."
"Good. Very good. Tell As, Sist, and Ants to get ready for the next step. I love it when a plan comes together."
******************************************************************************
WOOP!!!WOOP!!!WOOP!!!WOOP!!!WOOP!!!WOOP!!!WOOP!!!WOOP!!!WOOP!!!WOOP!!!WOOP!!!
"What is that?"
"The perimeter alarm has been sounded. Someone must be right outside
the safehouse."
Table rushes to the nearest terminal. He turns it on waiting for it
to turn on turn.
"Damn. The Legion of Net Heroes are right outside our doorstep.
I cannot believe they found out about my plan so soon."
Chair stumbles out of bed, over to the terminal. "I recognize some
of these people from your action figure line. There is Rebel Yell, Lurking Lass, Cliche Dude, and boy is he cute. And there is.."
"Stop that. What worries me is all of those Marvel_Zombie Lads out
there. They all seem to have a different shade to each of them. Whoa!
I think I know what might be going on here. That looks like the work of
Mr. Minister."
"You mean the guy who you mentioned last in issue #3?"
"Exactly. He must be trying to get back at me. That incident
with the Time Crapper. You remember that, don't you?"
"Yes, but what are we going to do now?"
"The defenses are in place. If they try to break in here, they
will be good as dead. If they get past them, we will be ready for them."
Unknown to Table and Chair, Plot-Error Man regain consciousness
while being left in the Auntie_May Chamber.
"Boy, am I hungry. I think I am going to order from Dominoes."
Plot-Error Man picks up the nearest phone, and dials the local
number for Dominoes.
"Hello, Dominoes, I would like to order please.........."
******************************************************************************
"Put up your hands and move over to the side of the building.", says
Z.
"What about our fallen comrades, the Ultimate Ninja, Typo lad, and
the again-deceased Cannon Fodder?" asks CheeseCake Eater Lad.
"Just do what he says, or we will make Tunes go ballistic." says
Mr. World with an evil smile.
"I warned you not to even mention that unless we have no other
choice. That could be the most dangerous thing anyone could ever do.", explains Z.
"You are the boss. I wonder where Vince is. He is late again."
"You know how he is. He is one of the slowest marathon runners that
we have ever met.", says Z.
"He also thinks he is a ninja too.", adds Tunes.
"Just because he can sneak around in the woods and knows a few things about ninjas, does not make him a ninja.", Mr. World points out.
"Let's get down to business. Ok. We want to know how these stupid costumes were placed on us without our knowning it." says Z.
"Oh, my whole body aches.", thinks the Ultimate Ninja.
Ultimate Ninja awakens to see the Z-Team force some of the Legion
members over to the side of the building, possibly to execute them.
Under his breathe he says to himself, "Noone will kill the Legion
except for me." Slowly, he reaches over for his Ginsu Katana Blade, trying
not to make a sound. Unfortunately, he is not successful. As he moves the blade over to him, it scrapes on the ground. Mr. World turns around to see
the Ultimate Ninja getting up ready to spring his attack. Mr. World lets
loose another barrage of bullets at the Ultimate Ninja. Since the bullets
are faster than the Ultimate Ninja, they again hit him with blind fury.
This time, several hit his head, and the Ultimate Ninja drops to the ground.
"I can't believe that they have taken the Ultimate Ninja down
twice, in one day, no less." says Halls Jordan.
"Believe it. When we first started out, we trained ourselves to specifically to take on ninjas. A factor that aided us was the fact that
in a straight up fight, ninjas are not as good as when they sneak around.
All ninja do are ASSASSINATE people. They are not geared for regular battle, and so they are easy to pick off. With him being the Ultimate Ninja, his moves were easily predictable. This fact has been proven with ninjas, the better you are, the more predictable you are. Well, after the first couple
of years, we kill many a ninja. Eventually, the Ninja Union signed an agreement with us stating that since we were making the ninja extinct,
that we would not kill any until they get more. They, on the other hand,
would not kill anyone until that time. So, instead of killing ninjas,
we just hurt them. We use rubber bullets with them, really. We made
some great cash from that deal." explains Z.
Typo Lad wakes up to find the Ultimate Ninja next to him, on the
ground. He sees a few rips in the Ultimate Ninja's outfit, with a few
rips to the head area. Blood and bruises are easily seen on his head. Suddenly, Typo Lad realizes who the Ultimate Ninja is. BandWagon Boy
has been the Ultimate Ninja all this time. Realizing this is not the
time to think about tell of his secret identity, he informs everyone
on the ninja's condition.
"Hezz hert reel badd. Hee maa seffur brane dammag." says Typo Lad.
Without noticing, a gray figure stealthfully appears next to
Typo Lad.
"Huh? Who are you?"
"Nice of you to make it Vince. Check to see if the ninja is enducing unconsciousness or faking it." orders Z.
Vince looks over the body, touching certain parts of the body,
including some naughty bits. After a few minutes, Vince looks up and says
"No. We have put him in a coma."
"A coma?? Great. Everyone is being put in a coma these days. It's
just another fad.", says CheeseCake Eater Lad.
*****************************************************************************
Passing by KT Toys and Hobbies shop, Time Waster Lad sees something
from the corner of his eye. He turns to see, in front of the store, a huge display of LNH action figures.
"Hey guys, take a look at this."
The Legion walks to the display of action figures. Catalyst Lass
picks up the figure of herself saying, "They do not have my current hair
style. Maybe I should send in a photograph of me to the manufacture."
"My figure looks exactly like me.", Browsing Boys says pridefully.
"But mine looks the best of all." Sig.File Man says boostfully.
Disagreement turns into an argument, which then turns into a fight
within the LNH. The owner of the store runs out and calls for help.
A pair of cops happen to walk by, and hear the cry.
"Sledge, there is a fight going on over there."
"Your right Dori, I'll take care of this."
He pulls out a 45 magnum, and says to it, "Are you ready for some fun?"
"They look like the LNH. Please Hammer, don't hurt them."
"Trust me, I know what I'm doing."
****************************************************************************
Back at LNH HeadQuarters, RosterwReam is still bawling out SideWinder
for accidentally putting the Transmodual Sig.Lad into the gene scrambler/ random teleporter.
"How can you be so stupid. Only an assisstant would be stupid enough
to hit the wrong button like that."
"I'm sorry. I really am. I'll make up for it, somehow."
"Sorry to bother you like this, but there is an intruder in the main computer room.", states the computer.
"Let's go find out who it is."
At top speed, RosterwReam and SideWinder run to the main computer room. When they get there, they find a costumed figure that they have not seen before, shutting one of the latches to the computer.
"HI. I'm SideKick Man. How are you doing?"
"SideKick Man?? Wait a moment. You are the guy that Sig.File Man said
was lost. What were you doing?", asks SideWinder.
"I was adding a computer chip into the system so that we can play
the new LNH computer game. It was not compatible before with the system."
"We have to contact the team so they can return, and help out the
other teams." says RosterwReam.
RosterwReam goes to the computer, and asks the current location of Sig.File Man's team.
"They are located at the Big.City Mall. They are not able to respond
to your calls. They seem to be battling each other. Also, a hostile person
is nearby, ready to fire at the team.", states the computer.
"Great, just great. SideKick Man, are ready to help us stop the in-fighting among our fellow Legionaries.", asks RosterwReam.
"I am."
"Let's go, and hope we do not have to pay mega-bucks for damages."
Several minutes after they leave, there is a new voice from the
computer. "Minister, this is Squiggy. I have achieved combination.
Destruct sequence of the LNH HeadQuarters now proceeding. T-5 minutes..."
***************************************************************************
In a form of a holographic light, the X-Over Men arrive in
Net.ropolis. Memor-X, current leader of the team, looks around from what
is left of Y-Plex Burp's base.
"Spread out. It should be here."
After an hour of going through the rubble, Memor-X cries out loud,
"I've got it."
The rest of the X-Over Men dropped what they were doing and surrounded Memor-X. The prize that was found was the Ring of RetConn. Somehow it had returned to this spot.
"EveryOne, think about the CrossOver Queen."
The group started to chant out the name of the CrossOver Queen, over
and over and over again. After several minutes of this, a rift in time and space and newsboards opened before them. A lone figure steps out of the
rift, just in time before it had closed. To their delight, the one they seek has returned.
"Boys, I'm back!!!", exclaims the CrossOver Queen.
****************************************************************************
"Did you know that Occultism Kid was misplaced in issue #3?" asks
Manga Man.
"What??? They can't do that to..."
Having yet another plot problem, the over-tired Plot King finally
succombs to Manga Man's power.
"I will deal with you no more, Plot King. UUUUUUZZZZZEEKKKKKIIIII!!!!"
With final swoop of anime explosion circles, this crushing blow
pushes the Plot King deep into the pavement, as a bloody mess.
"I have won!!!! Let Anarchy rule!!!!!!"
Manga Man starts working on his Akira Wave, again.
*****************************************************************************
"Master Fan.dom of the Alt.Ra, you have to come and see this."
"What is it my lackey. I am planning to destroy Rebel Yell at my
first oppor-. EH?"
One of the lackeys of Fan.dom of the Alt.Ra has brought him over
to the television set. He sees that there is a commercial on with loads
and loads of LNH-type collector items such as trading cards, figurines,
toilet paper, golf tees, t-shirts, and much more.
"I must have all of these things. Where is the nearest place that
has such material."
"Um. Big.City Mall, master."
"Let's go, and bring Damn Yankee with us. It is time to shop and
chop. BWAH_AH_AH_AH_AH_AH_AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
*****************************************************************************
Acton Lord, looking over his vast estate, sips some mint julips with
his 'date', tonight.
"You know my dear, I am the most cunning and ruthless villian that Alt.Comics.Lnh will ever see. Even now, I have all of my enemies running around like chickens with their heads cut off. "
"You are truly the master of the universe."
"Of course, Bambi. Let's say we take this over to the veranda."
*****************************************************************************
With amazing reflexes, instantly, the Ultimate Ninja wakes up and
stands on his feet in a battle position within a second. He is confused because all around him is gray. There are no shapes or forms except for the figure sitting next to him. Instantly, he recognizes him. It is
Marvel_Zombie Lad.
"I thought you were dead before, and in a coma. Now there are is an
army of you running around Net.Ropolis. Would you care to explain, or shall
I cut you into ribbons?"
"You can try, but you can't harm me, here. To tell you the truth,
I am still both dead and in a coma."
"What do you mean? I saw you, oh, wait a minute. Those must be
clones running around, but if your dead and in a coma, and I'm here that
must mean that I am also dead and in a coma."
"I do not think so. I have not seen any dead people around here,
but I seen some people leave. Others just dissapate. I figure that we are
all in one big coma."
"That's ridiculous."
A dark looming voice booms out over them, "It is not ridiculous,
Ultimate Ninja. Welcome to C.O.M.A. I hope your stay will be pleasant."
***************************************************************************
How about that?
All of the known plotlines in one huge post??
In just one day??
Boy, am I pooped.
******************************************************************************* "You gotta take Life Cereal, baby." - Smoking Banana Peels - Dead MilkMen *******************************************************************************
Welcome to Part 6 of the Electrocutioner's Song. I hope you enjoy this issue. The only other thing I want you to know before reading is the tag line for this issue:
ES6: You'll belive a Ninja can sing!
Now onto the card.
----------------------------------cut here------------------------------------
+-------------------+ +-------------------+
| ???????? | | ? in the Nonsence |
| ?????????? | | FILE |
| ??? ????? | | |
| ??? ???? | | Who am I? Why do |
| ???? | | I do these cards? |
| ???? | | What are their |
| ??? | | purpose? What is |
| ??? | | my purpose? Why am|
| ??? | | I here? Will I |
| ??? | |show up in the sto-|
| ??? | |ry? What will i do?|
| | |Who knows? Does any|
| ooo | | body?..... |
| ooooo | | |
| ooo | | (c) LNH 1992 |
+-------------------+ +-------------------+
------------------------cut here------------------------------------
THE 501 BLUES/RATTLER HIDE SPECIAL #2--ELECTROCUTIONER'S SONG PT.6
"THE TOASTER ALWAYS DINGS TWICE"
by SCAVENGER
In greyness, the ULTIMATE NINJA stood up. "I don't know about you, MARVEL_ZOMBIE LAD, but I'm getting out of here."
"I seriously doubt it."
"Nothing can prevail against a ninja born!"
A looming voice said, "WANT TO BET?"
"EAT NINJA BUSH, PAL" yelled the Ninja as he threw the death dealing seeds
of destruction at his unknown foe.
**ZAP**
A bolt of electricity fried the weapons in mid flight. A second bolt scorched the ninja.
"Woah, who are you?" asked Marvel_Zombie Lad.
"I AM THE ELECTROCUTIONER! I RULE HERE! AND I WANT A SONG! YOU, NINJA, SING FOR ME!"
"Like hell I wil..."The Ninja felt an irresistable urge to sing and dance.
"I've got shruiken, I've got ninja bush, I'm a ninja, Who could ask for anything more?"
LNH<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
"ROSTERWREAM!!!!"
LIST LAD was storming through LNH HQ, looking for his sidekick. He entered the Main Computer Room (MCR) and hit the comm pannel. "RosterwReam! If
you want to keep what little career that you have left, then I, List Lad, suggest that you report to me in the computer room, AT ONCE!!!"
RosterwReam was about to walk out of LNH HQ when he heard the call. "Uh, SIDEWINDER, SIDEKICK MAN, you two go on ahead, I've got to go see what he wants."
SideKick Man said, "Oh, it's probably nothing. You really should stick with us."
"No, He may be a pain in the ass, but he is my boss. I'll catch up later."
Sidewinder said, "C'mon SideKick Man, we got to go break up that fight at the mall. I'll drive. Sheesh and people say that _I_ don't stay on topic."
RosterwReam walked into the MCR. "Yo, List, What'sup?"
"You were trying to go off on an adventure, weren't you?"
"Well, yeah, but...."
"Is the Roster finished yet?"
"No, but...."
Have you even added Slap.sig to Sig.Lad's entry yet?"
"Well, not yet, but...."
LNH<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
"I'm a yankee-doodle Ninja!"
LNH<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
"DAMN!"
MULTI-TASKING MAN slammed off his terminal in the Monitoring Room. "Just great! I sit down to some serious work on three of my favorite MUDs, and the system can't find my client programs. Now, I have to go to the Main Computer Room and reinstall the damn things. I mean really....." and he headed to the MCR.
LNH<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
"Mr. Ninja, cut out my spleen. Make it the goriest, that I've ever seen."
LNH<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
"Destruct sequence for LNH Headquaters: t-2 minutes." said a voice.
"What did you say?" asked List Lad.
RosterwReam said, "I didn't say anytthing. It sounded like that Lenny guy
from Laverne & Shirley."
"No that was Squiggy. What was that about a self-destruct sequence?"
"Maybe it has something to do with this counter." RosterWream pointed to a clock that was quickly heading down to zero.
"Well, this is different. the HQ is going to blow up. What do we do?"
"What do ya mean, 'what do we do?'. I'm just a sidekick. You're the big net.hero!"
"Ok, Ok, let me think.....We can:
1) Stay here, get blown up, and die
2) Run, get blown up and die
3) ....3)....oh, jesus. I, List Lad, can't think of #3. We're goinng to die because I, List Lad, couldn't think of #3."
"How about just turning it off?" said Multi-Tasking Man as he flipped an off switch on the computer.
"I didn't know the computer had an off switch." said RwR.
"Of course you didn't. That's because you are never doing work at it, like you're supposed to be. Now, let's see why the computer was talking like a Happy Days extra." With that, MT-M popped open an access panel.
"Hey," said RwR, " That's the same panel that SideKick Man was playing with. He was installing the new LNH computer game. I wonder why he didn't notice anything wrong."
"SideKick Man?" said List Lad.
Ignoring the Catagorizing Crusader, MT-M said."Here's the cause of the destruct command, as well as the reason behind my missing clients." He held up a computer chip that said "NEW LNH COMPUTER GAME".
"But why would SideKick Man's game make the base blow up?"
List Lad answered, "There is no SideKick Man."
"Of course there is. He was just here."
"RosterwReam, we are responsible for the Roster. There is no SideKick Man on it."
"Maybe he's a new member?" suggested MT-M.
"Flip on the computer and check your notes, RosterwReam."
RwR did so and discovered, "List Lad, you're right! Other than this storyline, there is no mention of a SideKick Man!"
All three net.heroes said, "Uh-oh!"
LNH<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
"How much is that Ninja in the window?"
LNH<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
THE FAN.DOM OF THE ALT.RA and DAMN YANKEE were at the mall. They were heading to K-T TOYS AND HOBBY STORE.
"Uh, Fan.dom, didn't we have lackeys with us when we left your Nebraskan lair?"
"YES, Damn Yankee, we DID!"
"What happened to them?"
"I polybagged them, of course. THE FAN.DOM OF THE ALT.RA NEVER USES LACKEYS!! Do you realize what kind of collectors items they are!!!"
"Uh, right. Hey isn't that a bunch of the LNH fighting over there?" said the Northern Nightmare, as he pointed to a bunch of the LNH fighting in front of the Toy store.
"IT IS!! AND DO YOU SEE WHO IS BEHIND THEM!!?!! BWHAH-HA-HA!!! I have found them AT LAST!!!! Wait here!"
The Fan.Dom vanished, only to reappear behind the two police officers, who were about to shoot the net.heroes. The Collecting Cretin enveloped them in his cloak, vanished, and reappeared next to Damn Yankee.
"What'd you do?"
"I have just completed my collection of NEW WORLD TELEVISON characters from the 1980's. Sledge Hammer and Dori are now double bagged, hermeticly sealed, and hanging next to Captain Justice. BWHAH-HAH-HAH!!! Now on to the business at hand. Gather all of the LNH merchandise and meet me at the cash register."
"We're going to take the money as well?"
"DON'T BE RIDICULOUS!!! WE ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THE ITEMS! I AM NOT SOME PETTY THIEF."
"What does a Heartbreaker have to do with this?"
"Just go!"
The Fan.Dom walked over to the the LNHers, gathered up the figures that they had dropped, and said, "EXCUSE ME!!"
The LNHers untangled themselves and SIG.FILE LAD said, "Yes, can we help you?"
"I was wondering if I could GET YOU to AUTOGRAPH THESE FOR ME!!!"
"Woah, a fan. Dude!" said CALIFORNIA KID.
"Yes, you could probably call me the KING OF FANDOM! HAH-HAH-HA!!!"
"Why are you yelling?" asked TIME WASTER LAD.
DOCTOR STOMPER replied," Oh, that has to do with an over-excited lung structure."
CATALYST LASS said, "Sure, we'll sign those."
"It's always nice to meet a fan..." said BROWSING BOY.
"Yeah," said KID ANARCHY, "Lets us know we're appreciated."
"Like, fer shure!" said ORGANIC LASS.
"I really appreciate this," said the Fan.dom.
SUPER APATHY LAD thought that the cloaked creature, collecting the catalog of conscriptions (well it fits, sorta), looked familiar. Maybe he had seen a figure of him? He thought about it and decided that he really didn't care.
"THANK YOU! I must GO PAY for these!!"
"You take care now," said Catalyst Lass.
The Fan.dom head into the store. The LNHers turned to each other. THE FORGETTING ONE asked, "What were we fighting about?"
Sig.File Lad answered, "That's a good question. Ah well, we need to get on with our search. Let's go."
[continued in next message]
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