You can sift through the racc list archive
https://lists.eyrie.org/pipermail/racc/
or you can try google groups racc for this issue of JAMWCtwPNHaE.
And so we have finally reached 'Just Another Multi-Writer Cascade That Will Probably Never Have an Ending' -- something that those heroes in the LNH-Readers-Who-Are-Sick-To-Death-With-These-Damn-Neverending-Events-Liberation Front have tried to warn us all about -- but would we listen? But maybe -- just maybe this first issue of JAMWCtwPNHaE (written by me, Arthur Spitzer) will
also be the last issue so it will remain just a single one shot work of art and won't cause some cascade that will break RACC into half. Perhaps?
What? There was also a #2 by Scott Eiler and a #3 by Drew Nilium? Well, guess in that case RACC will have to break in half. Unless...?
But for now...
_
| | Classic
| | =
| | ____ ____ _ ____ ___
| |__ | [] | | [] | | | | [] | | _ \
|____| \__] \__ | |_| \__/ |_|\_\
||
|_| OF NET.HEROES
ADVENTURES #235
=====================
Just Another Multi-Writer Cascade that will
Probably Never Have an Ending Part One
=====================
From: Arthur Spitzer arspitzer at earthlink.net
Date: Sat Jan 18 15:45:54 PST 2014
Just Another Multi-Writer Cascade that will Probably Never Have an Ending #1
Net.ropolis --
LNHHQ --
It all started in the LNH lobby around the time that Self-Righteous
Preacher was yelling at Bad Timing Boy. Self-Righteous Preacher and his congregation of followers had just left one of the LNH's assembly rooms
and were making there way to the lobby to have some refreshments. And
around that same time Bad Timing Boy walked into the lobby too. One of Self-Righteous Preacher's followers -- a very old lady -- looked at Bad
Timing Boy's T-shirt and foolishly read the words on the it. The words
on Bad Timing Boy's 'God is Freaking Lame!' T-shirt. The very old lady
was very shocked by these words and passed out.
This led to Self-Righteous Preacher giving Bad Timing Boy a very long
rage filled lecture about how God was NOT Freaking Lame as well as how
Bad Timing Boy should read the Bible so he didn't spend an eternity
burning in Hell. The various followers of the Preacher all gave Bad
Timing Boy very dirty looks as if he was the Anti-Christ. As the
Preacher continued preaching -- Bad Timing Boy thought to himself, Boy,
I really, really should have picked a different shirt to wear today!
And as this happened, a burst of purple lightning crackled its way into existence in the center of the lobby. And a woman emerged from the
purple lightning. A woman with white hair and a white eyepatch covering
her left eye. "It worked! I made it!" she said scanning the world
around her. And then she spotted the Self-Righteous Preacher. And she
rushed towards him and gave him a big hug. "It's you! You're alive! I
never thought I'd see you..."
Self-Righteous Preacher wrenched himself free the strange woman. "How
dare you! How dare you try to engage me into some kind of premarital
huggery! Me -- a man of the cloth!!" The Preacher pulled out a cross
and used it to ward off the woman. "And wearing that! Have you no
shame young lady! Exposing your naked belly button for all the world to
see!! What would your parents think of that outfit! Shameful! Very shameful!!"
"Oh!" said Non-Judgmental Agnostic glancing at the white midriff shirt
she was wearing. She quickly covered her belly button with one of her
hands. "I didn't realize that exposing your belly button was taboo in
this era! Guess I should have done some research! Sorry about this.
I'm from the Future."
Self-Righteous Preacher sniffed his nose with disgust. "No excuse!
Read the Bible!!" He handed her a Bible.
"Oh, thanks!" she said with a very grateful expression on her face.
"I'll be sure to do that!" She looked at the Preacher. Part of her
wanted so badly to tell him that she was his daughter. But she knew she couldn't do that. That wasn't why she was here. Besides considering
the insane method that had brought her into existence -- how the
Preacher was actually her mother and WikiBoy was her father due to some
LNH prank that made WikiBoy a Holy Spirit who had impregnated the
Preacher -- she was pretty sure he wouldn't want to know those details
[See Jong #69 for more about that -- Ed.]
No she had another mission here. But what was it? Her mind was still
cloudy from the time jump. Contraption Mad had told her one of the side effects of time travel might be memory loss. This was no good. By the
time she remembered it might be too late to stop whatever she was trying
to stop. Maybe one of the LNH scientists in this era could help her
remember.
+++====+++
The LNH Coma Ward --
In one of the many beds of the LNH Coma Ward, a man slept away. He had
been sleeping for a long time. Ever since 1994. He had been a
superhero -- an LNH'r. It had been the night after the Valentine's Day
Ball. He was having trouble sleeping and was looking for a snack to
eat. But something strange was happening. All of the LNH'rs seemed to
be in a drugged state. As the hero investigated what had happened, he discovered vacuum cleaner talking to one of the monitor screens. It was
some kind of a plot to destroy the LNH. The hero tried to stop the
vacuum cleaner before it could do whatever it was trying to do and there
was a big battle. And then there was blackness. And then it was 20
years later.
The hero's eyes opened. The hero named Foreshadowing Lad.
And beneath his bed a crack began to form.
+++====+++
Elsewhere --
An underground bunker --
Men in camouflage outfits gazed into computers spewing out all kinds of
data. A number of computers began to beep. "It's another one!"
"God. Not again," said a man who appeared to be the commander of the
group. His name was Reed Reedly and he was the head of this LNH-Readers-Who-Are-Sick-To-Death-With-These-Damn-Neverending-Events-Liberation Front cell. "Don't these damn Writers know that RACC can't handle
another Multi-Writer Cascade?! Don't they?!! There are just too many unfinished ones!!" He looked at one of the images on the screen that
showed the effects this new cascade would have on RACC. Cracks were
beginning to form on RACC as the weight of all of the unfinished
cascades were beginning to take their toll. "It's going to cause it to
break!! RACC's going to break in half!!!!"
"What's that mean for us?" asked a man next to him.
"It means that since the Looniverse is the center of RACC -- it's going
to break in half. And since the Loonivearth is the center of the
Looniverse -- that's also going to break in half. And since Net.ropolis
is the Center of the Loonivearth -- you guessed it. It looks like the
LNHHQ will probably be the point where the cracks begin to appear."
"But this thing -- it's still a Category Single Author work -- right?!
As long as no one writes an issue two to this -- we'll still be safe,
right?"
Reed Reedly nodded. "That's true. Hopefully, for the sake of RACC
every RACC Writer will completely ignore this cascade and there won't be
an issue two! Hopefully!!"
+++====+++
NEXT: Will all the Writers on RACC ignore this cascade so that it won't
cause RACC to break in half?
+++====+++
Credits:
Self-Righteous Preacher -- wReam
Bad Timing Boy -- Vernon H. Harmon
Non-Judgmental Agnostic and Foreshadowing Lad -- Arthur Spitzer
WikiBoy -- Tom Russell
Contraption Man -- Drizzt
Writer's Notes: Feel free to write the second issue of this if you want.
Hahahahaha!
Non-Judgmental Agnostic and Foreshadowing Lad are Free for Use.
Arthur "Hahahah!" Spitzer
From: Scott Eiler seiler at eilertech.com
Date: Sat Jan 18 17:14:12 PST 2014
On 1/18/2014 3:45 PM, Arthur Spitzer wrote What Has Come Before:
"God. Not again," said a man who appeared to be the commander of the
group. His name was Reed Reedly and he was the head of this LNH-Readers-Who-Are-Sick-To-Death-With-These-Damn-Neverending-Events-Liberation
Front cell. "Don't these damn Writers know that RACC can't handle
another Multi-Writer Cascade?! Don't they?!! There are just too many unfinished ones!!" He looked at one of the images on the screen that
showed the effects this new cascade would have on RACC. Cracks were beginning to form on RACC as the weight of all of the unfinished
cascades were beginning to take their toll. "It's going to cause it to break!! RACC's going to break in half!!!!"
"What's that mean for us?" asked a man next to him.
"It means that since the Looniverse is the center of RACC -- it's going
to break in half. And since the Loonivearth is the center of the
Looniverse -- that's also going to break in half. And since Net.ropolis
is the Center of the Loonivearth -- you guessed it. It looks like the
LNHHQ will probably be the point where the cracks begin to appear."
"But this thing -- it's still a Category Single Author work -- right?!
As long as no one writes an issue two to this -- we'll still be safe,
right?"
Reed Reedly nodded. "That's true. Hopefully, for the sake of RACC
every RACC Writer will completely ignore this cascade and there won't be
an issue two! Hopefully!!"
+++====+++
NEXT: Will all the Writers on RACC ignore this cascade so that it won't cause RACC to break in half?
Not likely. It wouldn't be RACC if we *didn't* start something we
couldn't finish.
...
In a distant reality, a Council sat in session...
"Oh, is *that* a threat, Chancellor?"
"No. A multiverse is about to split in two. *That's* a threat."
"How do you *know* it's a threat?"
"Okay, I *don't* know. We need to send an observer. Something robust
but disposable..."
Someone passed the Chancellor a note. He spoke again... "Gentle
beings, I've just been told we can program Psychovant to go there and
observe. He even knows the way."
+++====+++
Credits:
Psychovant, the Chancellor Wyatt, and the Council of Ordered Realities
are copyright 2014 by Eiler Technical Enterprises. I hereby declare
them Free For Use within this cascade.
--
(signed) Scott Eiler 8{D> --------
http://www.eilertech.com/ ---------
When you *are* the leader... whatever goes wrong... whether you did it
or not... *you* are held responsible. - Barack Obama
I know. - Archie Andrews
- from Archie #617, March 2011, scripted by Alex Simmons.
From: Andrew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Date: Sun Jan 19 03:06:28 PST 2014
* A more ridiculous era for RACC dawns with *
JUST ANOTHER MULTI-WRITER CASCADE THAT WILL PROBABLY NEVER HAVE AN
ENDING #3
"Battle For the Very Small Thing"
In the shadows of the cool evening, outside the LNHQ, a shining disc
manifested itself in midair. Quickly, quietly, five figures leapt out
before it closed.
"LNH3k roll call," whispered a woman in a combination of a stage magician's outfit and a military uniform. "Captain Pulls-Rabbits-Out-of-Hats."
"Irony Mantis," rumbled an insectoid figure with glowing green eyes and
metal skin.
"Punctual Death Lad," said a teenager wearing an expensive tailored suit
and red sunglasses.
"Cheesecake Lass," murmured a young lady in an oddly abbreviated baker's outfit.
"And me, Kid Enthusiastic Double-Junior!" shouted a five-year-old wearing a bright red jumpsuit with a blue septagon on the chest and the letters 'KE'
in it.
"SHHHHH!" shushed the other four.
"Ah! Sorry!"
"Right," said Captain PROoH. She pulled out a device the size and shape of
a bar of soap, which clicked and buzzed as she waved it about. "We've
arrived on the correct date. The search.thingee says that the cracks are already beginning to open."
"Naturally," said Punctual Death Lad. "Everything happens in its own time."
"But Pee-Dee-El!" Kid EDJ whispered loudly. "These cracks aren't supposed
to be here in this time!"
"The child is correct," intoned Irony Mantis. "According to the records
Toony Stork installed in my systems, the post-Flame Wars Final era was a
slow period for Looniverse-A."
"Yeah, well, how do y'all explain what's happenin'?" muttered Cheesecake
Lass, running her hand through her silky-smooth hair.
"Continuity Queen gave me what she called 'one possible explanation'," said Captain PROoH, pushing her top hat back slightly to look at the readings. "Apparently, each storyline that is left unfinished creates a tension -
there are many ways it *could* end, and the universe hasn't decided on
which one actually happened. In this period, the sheer number of undecided
and unrealized futures began leaking through."
"That's all we are in this era," said Punctual Death Lad. "A possible
future, and one of many."
"So what happens if we don't fix the cracks?" whispered Kid EDJ urgently
and adorably.
"If the stories remain unfinished, then the world shakes itself apart," pronounced Irony Mantis. "There will be no room for new stories among those that have not yet ended."
Captain PROoH nodded grimly. "We have to stop the Crack in RACC - or apathy will befall."
--^v^v^v----^v^v^v^v^v^----v^v^v^--
In the shadows of the cool evening, on precisely the opposite side of the
LNHQ, the air rippled and wavered. Slowly, five figures oscillated into existence.
"--gonna work?" said a living statue in brightest white and deepest black, wearing a laurel wreath. "Oh. Guess it did."
"And thank the God of the Gaps for that," said a deeply tanned woman
wearing a woolen peacoat (much lighter than a trenchcoat) and shaking out
her head.
"Didn't you say it would be easy, Lacuna?" said a figure in bright green
armor, elbowing her gently.
"Yeah, yeah," muttered Lacuna. "But when you said 'missing issues', I
thought it'd be easy - but there's *too* many issues missing! I could
hardly get a lock!"
"The uncreated are restless here," pronounced a girl whose head was
surrounded by a halo of letters and symbols. "That which has not been
posted, that which may be posted, that which will never be posted."
"Thanks for that, Apostrophe," said the statue. "Really, you're helping so much."
"Lay off the lady, Cameo Gonzaga," said a dark-complexioned young man in clothes that screamed 1970s. "You know it ain't her malfunction."
"Jive Turkey," said Cameo Gonzaga, "...why? Why do you call yourself that?
Why any of this?"
"Guys, chill," said the armored figure. "We're here, we're pretty queer,
let's try not to let the universe fall apart. Again."
"I apologized, okay?" muttered Cameo Gonzaga.
"Man, Green Knight, what are we even doin' here?" said Jive Turkey. "This
is straight BS. The Legion of Young.Heroes don't need this. Let the LNH
clean up their own skeet piles."
"Dude. We're here *for* us, okay? We're the only ones who know about this."
The Green Knight clenched a fist. "Ever since I was built, they said I was
just a toy - something WILBUR made to copy off *his* old man. Well, none of
us are copies of our parents, or our mentors. You don't have to follow your family. Lacuna doesn't have to be what her parents said she was. Apostrophe
can write her own words. CG doesn't have to believe what they were taught. We're not just doing this to save the world - we're doing this to create
our own futures."
"And anyway," said Lacuna, breathing hard, hands on knees, "if we don't fix
the cracks, we're all screwed."
--^v^v^v----^v^v^v^v^v^----v^v^v^--
Preliminary timeline map, drafted by the Council of Ordered Realities:
Looniverse-A-69: Non-Judgmental Agnostic's future.
Looniverse-A-3000: The LNH3k's future.
Looniverse-A-012313: The Legion of Young.Heroes' future.
Identified Crosstime Travelers:
CAPTAIN PULLS-RABBITS-OUT-OF-HATS: Experimental clone using the DNA of Pulls-Paper-Out-of-Hats Lad.
IRONY MANTIS: Robotic defender constructed by Toony Stork.
PUNCTUAL DEATH LAD: Estranged son of Poignant Death Lass.
CHEESECAKE LASS: Daughter of Cheesecake-Eater Lad and aLLiterative Lass.
KID ENTHUSIASTIC DOUBLE-JUNIOR: ??? no data found
GREEN KNIGHT: Modular android created by the Legion's Wildly Improbable
LISP Based Urbane Robot.
LACUNA: Apprentice to the August One (the present day's Occultism Kid).
Uses magic based on the public imagination of lost and never-made things. APOSTROPHE: Daughter of Poignant Death Lass. Manipulation of Net.Element of Keystroke, ability to communicate with the dead and nonexistent.
JIVE TURKEY: Cousin to [REDACTED] Lad. [REDACTED]
CAMEO GONZAGA: ??? no data found
--^v^v^v----^v^v^v^v^v^----v^v^v^--
Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, can't resist these
==========
Next Week: 'Just Another Multi-Writer Cascade That
Will Probably Never Have an Ending' PART TWO!!!!!!
==========
Arthur "Same Classic Channel. But Same Time? Probably not." Spitzer
--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
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