LNH: Hungry, Hungry Sabertooths! #Godfinally!
From
Arthur Spitzer@21:1/5 to
All on Wed Jan 20 21:52:37 2021
Hungry, Hungry Sabertooths! #Godfinally!
"The Body Swap Theory"
"NO!!! God, No!! Why is this happening?" screamed a bearded man in football helmet
and cammo with tears streaming down his eyes. He was looking at the TV in the room.
The TV Screen showed Bad Judgment Boy Blue swearing on a bible.
The other members of NoKluAKon were also horrified as they watched in their secret
bunker out of sight of the Deep State. This wasn't how things were supposed to go
down.
"How could this happen?!" said a very upset lady wearing a piano scarf around her
neck. "How could this stupid loser steal the presidency from the greatest, smartest, most masculine, most amazing hair version of Bad Judgment Boy?! Bad Judgment Boy Red!!! This doesn't make any sense!! Why were all the tweet prophesies
wrong?! Bad Judgment Boy Red was supposed to be getting sworn in -- not this soyboy
latte drinking asshole!!!" She grabbed a bottle of chardonnay and started guzzling
it down.
"No, wait. Did you see that?" A man wearing a bison hat and nothing else with red,
white, and blue paint all over his body pointed towards the screen. "He winked!
Did you see that? Oh god. Now it makes sense?"
"What makes sense?"
"Everything! Oh, god -- Bad Judgment Boy Red is such a genius! He did it! I can't
believe he did it, but he did it!!"
"Did what?"
"The Body Swap! He switched.."
"...Bodies," said everyone of the NoKluAKon in unison. "Of course!!"
"Oh, man! That makes total sense! That has to be it! God -- this was so obvious.
I can't believe I didn't realize it before now. But how long?"
"It must have happened.." Bison Hat NoKluAKon Guy counted on his fingers and then
his eyes became really wide. "Jesus! 2016! That's when it -- when Bad Judgment
Boy Red switched bodies with Bad Judgement Boy Blue!! Oh God."
Piano Scarf NoKulAKon Lady slammed her bottle of chardonnay down. "Yes! That has
to be it! I always wondered why this extreme stable non corrupt non racist genius
was always doing all these stupid, racist, and corrupt things and being such a terrible mentally ill president! And now we know!! It wasn't him! All this time
it wasn't him!! It was actually -- oh god -- it was Bad Judgment Boy Blue who was
president! That's why he was so terrible. Oh god -- all makes sense. Everything
makes sense!!"
"What a brilliant 6D Chess Move! All Hail President Bad Judgment Boy Red in Bad
Judgment Boy Blue's Body!!"
"All Hail!!!" agreed everyone as they popped some champagne and got out the victory
cigars.
Football Helmut NoKluAKon Guy looked at his victory cigar and the smoke blowing from
it. "Say, does anyone else find it strange that his whole Hungry, Hungry Sabertooth
series doesn't really have anything to do with hungry, hungry sabertooths anymore?"
"Hmm," pondered Bison Hat NoKluAKon Guy. "Maybe the hungry, hungry sabertooths were
actually the friends we made along the way all the time..."
"Hmm. No. That doesn't -- that doesn't make any sense."
And everyone laughed.
---------
Meanwhile, On Earth Combover --
"NO!!!! It was the Perfect Insurrection!! The Perfect Insurrection!!!" shouted Former President Comboverthing as a group of people in hazmat suits dragged him out
of the White House. "FAKE NEWS!!! IT'S ALL FAKE NEWS!!!! 2024!! 2024!!!!"
And then Earth Combover was over.
Writer's Notes:
Finally. Finally.
Arthur "Finally.." Spitzer
--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
* Origin: fsxNet Usenet Gateway (21:1/5)
From
Arthur Spitzer@21:1/5 to
All on Wed Jan 20 21:51:32 2021
Hungry, Hungry Sabertooths! #Godfinally!
"The Body Swap Theory"
"NO!!! God, No!! Why is this happening?" screamed a bearded man in football helmet
and cammo with tears streaming down his eyes. He was looking at the TV in the room.
The TV Screen showed Bad Judgment Boy Blue swearing on a bible.
The other members of NoKluAKon were also horrified as they watched in their secret
bunker out of sight of the Deep State. This wasn't how things were supposed to go
down.
"How could this happen?!" said a very upset lady wearing a piano scarf around her
neck. "How could this stupid loser steal the presidency from the greatest, smartest, most masculine, most amazing hair version of Bad Judgment Boy?! Bad Judgment Boy Red!!! This doesn't make any sense!! Why were all the tweet prophesies
wrong?! Bad Judgment Boy Red was supposed to be getting sworn in -- not this soyboy
latte drinking asshole!!!" She grabbed a bottle of chardonnay and started guzzling
it down.
"No, wait. Did you see that?" A man wearing a bison hat and nothing else with red,
white, and blue paint all over his body pointed towards the screen. "He winked!
Did you see that? Oh god. Now it makes sense?"
"What makes sense?"
"Everything! Oh, god -- Bad Judgment Boy Red is such a genius! He did it! I can't
believe he did it, but he did it!!"
"Did what?"
"The Body Swap! He switched..."
"...Bodies," said everyone of the NoKluAKon in unison. "Of course!!"
"Oh, man! That makes total sense! That has to be it! God -- this was so obvious.
I can't believe I didn't realize it before now. But how long?"
"It must have happened..." Bison Hat NoKluAKon Guy counted on his fingers and then
his eyes became really wide. "Jesus! 2016! That's when it -- when Bad Judgment
Boy Red switched bodies with Bad Judgement Boy Blue!! Oh God."
Piano Scarf NoKulAKon Lady slammed her bottle of chardonnay down. "Yes! That has
to be it! I always wondered why this extreme stable non corrupt non racist genius
was always doing all these stupid, racist, and corrupt things and being such a terrible mentally ill president! And now we know!! It wasn't him! All this time
it wasn't him!! It was actually -- oh god -- it was Bad Judgment Boy Blue who was
president! That's why he was so terrible. Oh god -- all makes sense. Everything
makes sense!!"
"What a brilliant 6D Chess Move! All Hail President Bad Judgment Boy Red in Bad
Judgment Boy Blue's Body!!"
"All Hail!!!" agreed everyone as they popped some champagne and got out the victory
cigars.
Football Helmut NoKluAKon Guy looked at his victory cigar and the smoke blowing from
it. "Say, does anyone else find it strange that his whole Hungry, Hungry Sabertooth
series doesn't really have anything to do with hungry, hungry sabertooths anymore?"
"Hmm," pondered Bison Hat NoKluAKon Guy. "Maybe the hungry, hungry sabertooths were
actually the friends we made along the way all the time..."
"Hmm. No. That doesn't -- that doesn't make any sense."
And everyone laughed.
---------
Meanwhile, On Earth Combover --
"NO!!!! It was the Perfect Insurrection!! The Perfect Insurrection!!!" shouted Former President Comboverthing as a group of people in hazmat suits dragged him out
of the White House. "FAKE NEWS!!! IT'S ALL FAKE NEWS!!!! 2024!! 2024!!!!"
And then Earth Combover was over.
Writer's Notes:
Finally. Finally.
Arthur "Finally..." Spitzer
--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
* Origin: fsxNet Usenet Gateway (21:1/5)