[continued from previous message]

"Oh, Jesus. Not these guys again!" said Kid Recap rolling his eyes.

"Thanks, but no thanks. I don't really have any use for you. Well,
maybe the cute one with all the tears in her costume -- but no." The
circuits in the robot duplicates started to overload causing the robot duplicates to fall to the ground. "Sorry."

"This is your last chance to surrender, Bart." The Ultimate Ninja
readied his Ginsu Katana for attack mode.

"You think? Naw! I'm pretty sure I'll have plenty of chances to while
I'm killing you all. But hey -- tell you what. If you can stop me from killing one hundred members of the LNH in the next three seconds after
this sentence ends -- I'll happily surrender -- Ready? Now!" Bart
flashed away.

The Ultimate Ninja turned his head and saw a mound of bodies that had
popped up. LNH bodies. He recognized Spelling Boy, Sarcastic Lad,
California Kid, Easily-Discovered Man Lite, Parking Karma Kid, and...
He looked back and saw Bart. Bart was looking at his watch.

"Well, that only took less than a second. I thought it would take a lot longer."

"That's it," said the Ultimate Ninja leaping in the air.

Bart laughed. "No. I'm pretty sure there's going to be a lot more of
that to come. As for fighting you?" Bart shook his head. "I'm not
sure you're worthy. That whole not being able to stop me from killing
all those teammates of yours -- pretty disappointing -- to say the
least. How about this instead? You can fight my little pinky." Bart's
little pinky on his right hand popped off and rocketed straight towards
the Ultimate Ninja slamming him to the ground. "If you can defeat my
little pinky -- then well, maybe."

And that's how the greatest battle the Ultimate Ninja had ever had
began. The Ultimate Ninja vs Bart's Little Finger.



**** <<--BM-->> ****



Bart felt a rock hit his head. He looked down and saw that
Innovative-Offense Boy was throwing rocks at him. "Yes? Can I do
something for you?"

"You're a @#$%@*@* pussy, Bart!! I can't @#$*&&@ fight a @#$%@*@*
pussy!! Especially one who's so $#@%&@&* chicken *$#@%*@ that he can't
even wear the Insanity @#$%*@* Gauntlet. Real #%$@*%& villains wear
Insanity @#$%*@* Gauntlets!! Be a &*@#$@% man, Bart!!"
Innovative-Offense Boy began to flap his arms like a chicken.
"Buhwawk!! #$%@*&#!! Buhwawk!! #$%@*&#!!"

"It must suck that all your plans to defeat me involve me wearing the
Insanity Gauntlet, huh?"

"Yeah, like a mother #$@%*@*," sighed Innovative-Offense Boy.


**** <<--BM-->> ****

Kid Recap watched Innovative-Offense Boy's futile attempt to get Bart to
put back on the Insanity Gauntlet. He looked at the mound of bodies:
100 dead LNHers. And he looked at the Ultimate Ninja being thrown
around like a rag doll by Bart's little pinky. He watched Bart flick
Captain Continuity out of orbit. And then Bart killed another five LNH'rs.

And then he looked at the box he was carrying. The box that contained
Bart's soul. Christ, this was a lousy plan. Even compared to Bad
Judgment Boy's angry weasel-PCP plan. But Kid Recap had nothing better.
Maybe something would happen. Bart would see his soul and some of his humanity would trickle back to him. Probably not. But he couldn't
think of anything better to do. "Bart!!!"

Bart turned around at looked at Kid Recap. "Yes?"

"Look at this." Kid Recap then opened up the box.

"Yeah? Wow. An empty box. Great plan, Kid Recap. That should
definitely end my reign of terror."

Kid Recap looked down at the box. There was nothing there. Where did
it go?

"Oh. Was there supposed to be something in there? Like a -- soul? My
soul? Yeah -- I can read minds, Kid Recap. And the reason there's no
soul in that box is because there was never a soul in the box. You've
been had Kid Recap. There is no hell. No demons or devils that use
souls for their currency. I retconned that all away. And heaven?
That's gone too. They've all gone bye, bye. When you die -- that will
be it. And God? Where's God in all this -- you ask? Watch this."
Bart snapped his fingers. "Did you see that? I just killed God by
snapping my fingers. Yeah, I just killed God. God is dead. That's who
you're dealing with -- a guy that can kill God by just snapping his
fingers. Did Acton Lord or Dr. Killfile kill God? I don't think so.
But me -- yeah, I killed God. Pretty awesome, right?"

"Liar!! Blasphemous Liar!!!!" screamed Self-Righteous Preacher who was
clearly angry about this. "God is beyond your pathetic evilism!!!
You're a gnat on gnat on a gnat on the eye of a gnat compared to
God!!!!! Read the Bible!!!!!!!!"

"You think? Hey, if you don't believe me -- how about someone more on
your wavelength?" A Big TV screen instantly appeared and hovered over
the heroes.

The face of Pat Robertson appeared. <<Ladies and Gentlemen, I have
grave news tonight to tell you. This is the saddest of all sad days!
Our lord in heaven -- is...>> Pat Robertson hesitated and a tear fell
down his eye, <<Is dead!! Yes, God is dead!! We're still getting more
details every minute, but here's the latest of this very, very
heartbreaking news. A group of Born Again Christian astronauts
discovered the corpse of God orbiting between the Sun and Mercury.
Based on our Christian Science Carbon Dating tests we estimate the time
of death being between 1995 BC and 1993BC. Also, he was wearing a very
big toga. God was best known for creating the Looniverse, dying for all
our sins, and writing the best selling book of all time -- The Bible. I
repeat -- for those just joining us -- God is dead!!>>

Self-Righteous Preacher continued to watch the various 700 club pundits
and panelists discuss whether it was a Socialist, Muslim, Democrat,
Atheist, Hindu, Homosexual, Vegetarian, or Abortionist (or perhaps a Socialist-Muslim-Democrat-Atheist-Hindu-Homosexual-Vegetarian-Abortionist)
that was responsible for God's death. "No. It can't -- It just
can't... No!!!! God can't be -- can't be... But it's the 700 club --
And Pat Robertson!!! So it must be true!!! God is... God is..." Self-Righteous Preacher went into a catatonic state unable to complete
that sentence.

"Wait. If God died back in 1994 BC, then who is Jesus's father?"

"Let's not go there, Nit-Pick Lad," said Kid Recap shaking his head.



**** <<--BM-->> ****

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