• [ASH] REPOST: ASH #123 - City of Night Part 4: The Midnight Oil

    From Dave Van Domelen@21:1/5 to All on Mon Oct 11 17:33:22 2021
    [The cover is an homage to the stapler-taking scene in the
    movie Office Space, with Solar Max having his stapler (which
    is mostly red but has his orange and yellow insignia on it as
    well) taken away by a shadowy silhouette with an insincere
    grin standing out white against the blackness.]

    .|. COHERENT COMICS UNINCORPORATED presents ACADEMY OF SUPER-HEROES #123 --X------------------------------------------------------------------------
    '|` /|(`| | City of Night Part 4 of 6: The Midnight Oil
    /-|.)|-| copyright 2018 by Dave Van Domelen ___________________________________________________________________________

    ACADEMY OF SUPER-HEROES ROLL CALL

    CODENAME REAL NAME POWERS ASSIGNMENT -------- --------- ------ ---------- Solar Max Jonathan Zachary Spacetime Control AMERICA
    "JakZak" Taylor
    Meteor Sarah Grant-Taylor Superspeed AMERICA Poniente Esmeralda Colina Wind Mage AMERICA
    Scorch Scott Handleman Pyrokinetic CANADA Centurion Salvatore Napier Strength, Regeneration MEXICO
    Fury Arin Kelsey Concussion Blasts MEXICO
    Contact Aaron Zander Psi, Mind-over-Body DIPLOMATIC Breaker Christina Li Telekinesis DIPLOMATIC Essay Sara Ana Henderson Gadgeteer VENUS
    Peregryn Howard Henderson Jr. Elemental Mage VENUS
    Beacon George Sylvester Living Light VENUS
    Geode Unknown Living Crystal VENUS Lightfoot Tom Dodson Velocity Control TRANSIT ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    [January 15, 2027 - Eurasian Union Regional Assembly, Prague]

    The normally untalkative Oni was, oddly, the one to break the silence following Solar Max's suggestion that they use the Multiversal Office as a pathway into Berlin.
    "You weren't there, Hotspur. We were just guarding the door."
    That broke the tension, and while no one actually laughed or even snickered, there was a palpable sense that most people wanted to.
    "Are you sure that's safe?" Gerhard Hesse, the STRAFE representative, asked. "I've seen some of the paperwork generated by the new Combine Office
    of Alternative Personhood [see Time Capsules #13 - Ed.], but they've only
    been working on this for a few months. An awful lot of our most useful
    people to send into Berlin might still have some classification issues."
    Solar Max nodded. "As much as I'd love to send in Beacon or even Geode for a mission like this, their status may not be regularized enough to last long in the Office." Left unsaid was the fact that Geode's status was far
    more complicated than just being an "alternative person" made of crystal. By birth she was a citizen of the Muslim Coalition, assumed dead during the
    World Serpent affair [in ASH #50 - Ed.], which meant that she could get filed under "dead" by the Office as well. And trying to clear up that mess would cause a diplomatic fecal-nado with the MC. "We want at least one speedster
    who can scout around Berlin while the rest of us might he having to hold a beachhead, Meteor is the safer bet between her and Lightfoot," he nodded to
    his wife. "Arc, I'm guessing you want to be on the team?"
    Claire Auger nodded. "My speed is not of the 'scouting around' variety, but based on reading the information you supplied after your last encounter with the office, the occasional burst may be useful inside the Office. I believe Oni should accompany us physically. The computers in the Office may not have registered as true computers as far as Netwalker was concerned, but they may still use electricity, and Oni is sensitive to the ebb and flow of current even when not acting as an electric ghost."
    Oni seemed uncomfortable with the idea, but said nothing.
    "I'll want a decent-sized team at this end in case things go completely pear-shaped and darkness demons come pouring out the door," Solar Max added, "and that should also include a few veterans of the Office to make a second attempt if we never come out. Scorch, Centurion, Breaker...you get
    rearguard. Lightfoot's on his way from Venus and can join you. Poniente, I want you along for the mystic angle."
    Arc turned to her side of the table, "Hotspur and Rechtigkeit will join them. You both have...checkered...pasts that might cause problems in the Office. Things that the Ministry of Other Intelligences wouldn't be able to smooth over."
    The two grumbled, but acquiesced.
    "There should be more than one mage," Terrastar pointed out. "Assuming that the Office will admit me to the EU branch, I doubt there'd be any issues surrounding my...paperwork."
    Arc was the first to reply, "Non. I'm more concerned that your status
    as a royal heir on your Earth would give you too much power in the Office,
    and the EU is not willing to grant you access to our section of the
    Multiversal Office."
    "Perhaps I might be a compromise candidate, then, since I doubt Mr. Tang is experienced enough at this stage in his career?" Sadi Pasteur
    interjected. "Oh, you don't trust me any more than you trust Ms. Hectrix,
    I'll grant that. But neither do I have much raw power in my own right.
    Given time I could probably subvert aspects of the Office, naturally, but I could not do it with the casual ease you suspect Terrastar could manage. And while I admit Khadam's own situation regarding 'alternative persons' is a bit unsettled at the moment, I am barely removed from baseline humanity. My
    talent is in observing and organizing."
    Peregryn, from his enchanted tablet computer propped up on the table, added, "As much as I know any representative of Glyph's has ulterior motives,
    I agree that Monsieur Pasteur would be an asset in this situation. Poniente
    is skilled and perceptive enough to recognize it if he attempts any ritual or symbolic magic, and...to be honest...we may well need someone inside Berlin
    who can..."
    "Think like a villain?" Sadi smirked. "Indeed. Helping my patron run
    a city of 'villainy,'" he looked like he was about to make air-quotes but
    only barely restrained himself, "has been one of my duties. If Lady Sable's plans for Berlin require any sort of participation on the part of the
    citizens, I will recognize the clues quite quickly."
    "And if there's going to be an untested potential weak link on the
    team," Daniel Tang narrowed his eyes and looked at Pasteur, "it might as well be someone no one would miss, right?"

    * * * *

    [January 16, 2027 - The Multiversal Office, Eurasian Union Reception]

    "We're not leaving the EU sector," Solar Max cautioned the small group
    as it entered through the nondescript door in the Prague office building.
    "But that doesn't mean we can't get lost, or run afoul of red tape. In principle, it's likely we just need to go through that door," he gestured to
    a doorway next to the empty reception desk, "find a floor map, and walk at
    most a hundred meters to find our way out."
    "But that's like saying we just need to stop by to renew our driver's license," Arc nodded. "We could spend all day diverted from one thing to another."
    "It's so empty," Poniente noted as the door shut behind them, leaving
    the sextet fully within the interdimensional reality. "There's no soul to
    this room, even though it looks like someone just stepped out for coffee,"
    she ran a gloved hand along the top of the reception desk, coming away
    totally clean. "It's...waiting."
    "The Office wants to be used," Meteor nodded, "but it's a trap. Like a pitcher plant. Maybe accepting its invitation would benefit us in the long run, but..." she shuddered, her speed rendering it almost a buzz.
    "I don't sense any electricity," Oni looked about the reception room,
    then up at the overhead lights. "The surface details all look like one would expect from a modern office, but the lights...just work. No current, the
    light isn't really light either. We just think there's light."
    "And that isn't ominous at all, is it?" Pasteur bent to inspect a potted plant. "Like this plant. If you look closely, it's not artificial, but neither is it living. It lacks the aura of life, does it not, Poniente?" he turned to ASH's mage.
    She shook her head. "Like Oni said. It all looks normal and mundane,
    but none of this is real. The plant does have an aura of life, but it's incredibly faint and indistinguishable from the aura of this desk, or the carpet. I think the entire dimension is alive, its spirit spread out over an unimaginable volume."
    "Should we go in now, or wait to see if someone...something...comes back to the reception desk?" Arc asked.
    "We didn't wait at the desk last time," Solar Max shrugged. He wasn't wearing his usual armor, due to its bulk, but the "dress uniform" he had on
    was well armored and had a few surprises built into it, just in case. "But something feels more alive than last time, doesn't it?" he turned to his
    wife.
    Meteor paused. "I think you're right. Which is weird, because it's Saturday, you'd think it'd feel less alive. Assuming the Office observes weekends. It's always Monday somewhere, I guess?"
    "Worst case, it means Lady Sable's already sent some people through from her end..." Pasteur smiled in a very discomfiting way.

    * * * *


    [January 16, 2027 - Pawtucket, Rhode Island Sector]

    A Tyrone approached M'emba in the courtyard, where she used the sharp
    cold of the New England winter as an aid in meditation. One of the stranger results of this new world "translating" the refugees of M'emba's home reality was that many of the common folk shared one of a handful of appearances. It was never something she recalled being a significant issue back home, the similarity was sometimes noted but was never a real problem. Here, they
    formed what amounted to clone cohorts, down to the DNA. Most of them even shared a given name, such as Tyrone, but even those who didn't have the "family" name had come to be referred to by the most common name of their genetic type.
    Mystically, however, the souls were still quite distinct, so M'emba immediately knew that this Tyrone was one of the faithful, one of the
    residents of the island district of the lost city, who funnelled aid to the faithful while maintaining a cover as a law-abiding citizen. The banished
    gods gave their followers power and sundered the barrier between life and death, but sometimes money was still useful.
    "There is a rock in the garden," Tyrone pointed into the snow-dusted
    area outside of the wards that M'emba had constructed to keep her safe during meditation, "that wishes to speak to you."
    M'emba felt a chill up her spine. She was the only shaman of the
    faithful to escape the doomed world, and death was her patron. None of the shamans of the mountains and earth had made the voyage. Could this be a sign that her strange new home did in fact have worshippers of the dead gods? or had she awakened unfamiliar and unfriendly powers with her scrying?
    "Lead me to it," she nodded, standing and wrapping her cloak against the chill biting into her flesh now that she was no longer in a meditative
    state.
    She followed Tyrone and he pointed to a particular stone, no larger than
    a fist, but strangely free of snow or ice.
    "What would you ask of me, honored rock?" M'emba arched her eyebrow.
    "If you don't recognize a communication spell, shaman, then we might not have any use for each other," a woman's voice spoke as lips formed on the surface of the stone. "But if I could not recognize sarcasm, the same would
    be true."
    "Indeed. As the other mages I am aware of would have been either more direct or far more circumspect, I believe I am addressing the Terrastar?" M'emba nodded.
    "You are," the stone spoke.
    "I know little about you, as my hosts are reluctant to reveal much to
    one as I," M'emba said as she stooped to pick up the stone. "But I do gather that you are no more native to this world than I am. Surely your gods and
    mine are not the same."
    "My gods are dead, because we killed them millennia ago," the stone replied. "Judging by what the gods did in this world, I'd say we made the right decision. I don't know if your...hosts...informed you or not, but it appears someone would like to increase the number of gods in this world by
    one, and I'm not enthusiastic about the prospect."
    "And why would I be interested in stopping this?" M'emba replied, motioning for Tyrone to return to whatever he'd been doing before hearing the stone. It was not that she mistrusted him, or any of the remaining faithful, but it was best to not gather for too long in any observable location. For
    her part, she walked back to her place of meditation and resumed the pose she had been holding, but she did not raise her wards or enter a meditative
    state.
    As she walked, Terrastar's lips on the stone smiled silently,
    recognizing the need for discretion as well. Once M'emba was once again seated, Terrastar continued, "I have been pursuing my own avenues of
    research, and I came across your scrying...and more importantly, what you may have found recently. Now, this is purest supposition, but I have learned
    that the existence of magic means that wild coincidences are more likely than people would think. I believe that our would-be new goddess might have found
    a way to feed upon the power of your dead god...or someone enough like him
    for you to feel the similarity."

    * * * *

    [January 16, 2027 - The Multiversal Office, Eurasian Union Floor]

    Poniente put her ear to the door. "Nothing. But from what you've told
    me about the office, that need not mean anything."
    "Right," Solar Max nodded. "Even with nano dust breadcrumbs, we had trouble maintaining a connection across the floors of even the Combine
    offices, the doorways could easily be teleportals of some sort, with nothing
    at all on the other side until we open the door."
    "All the better for the boss to sneak up on you," Meteor observed
    wryly.
    "As far as the aura is concerned, the door is the same as the wall
    around it," Poniente added, and Oni nodded silent concurrence.
    "So, the only way to find out more is to open the door," Sadi shrugged, stepping forwards. "I'll open it and get out of the way, while one of you sturdier sorts stands ready to greet the room?"
    No one had a better plan, so Arc stood ready at the doorway, Solar Max
    and Meteor flanking her. Poniente and Oni stayed out of the arc of
    visibility on the other side of the door from where Pasteur would be moving.
    The moment the door opened even a crack, there was a torrent of clattering, tapping, and clicking. The sound washed through the reception area, not so loud that conversation was impossible, but loud enough to make hearts sink. Even before anyone could see inside, they knew the room was occupied.
    VERY occupied.
    For that was the sound of an enormous room full of workers, busily
    typing away.
    "Merde," Arc spat as she saw the room, involuntarily taking a step back.
    Every cubicle within view was occupied by a featureless female humanoid figure, like a mannequin made from the thinnest porcelain. None of them
    looked towards the door or gave any sign they could see or hear anything
    other than their workload.
    "What are...?" Poniente started to ask as she edged out of hiding.
    "Matrioshkas. The Impossible Five have infiltrated the Multiversal
    Office somehow," Solar Max replied.

    * * * *

    [January 16, 2027 - Bonn, Germany]

    "Ping!"
    Vera pulled her "graycell" phone from her purse and thumbed the screen
    on. It looked like a perfectly ordinary high-end consumer phone, but it had
    a few legally gray functions...such as the one that had just pinged at her.
    Otto was spending money again.
    She sighed. Their grandfather had left them both fairly sizeable inheritances, but since Otto was still only 16, his was in a trust. Technically, Vera wasn't a trustee, but their parents tended to be way too hands-off in their parenting, she felt. So she'd had one of her friends with
    a friend in the gray tech market get her a tap onto Otto's accounts. He
    wasn't supposed to be able to access them at all without approval of either their parents or (more often) their parents' lawyer, but Vera wasn't the only one in the family who knew people who knew their way around computer
    security, and every so often Otto would break into the trust and waste some
    of his inheritance on something even their parents wouldn't approve of.
    And they had approved of the "Road Rager" style Ihimaera motorcycle he'd wanted when he turned 16, so that was a pretty low bar to ooze under.
    She almost let out a yelp when she saw the results of her tap.
    Otto had drained the entire fund and placed it into his personal
    accounts.
    Fighting down panic, she immediately placed a call to the family lawyer.
    "Pick up already," she muttered.
    "Yes, I know it's the weekend," she replied to the annoyed voice on the other end. "Otto's taken the whole trust fund. Yes, you know I have ways of knowing, but check for yourself. None of his other little hacks got away
    with much before the watchdog programs kicked in, you need to get someone on...WHAT? The system thinks he's an adult now? How the...it thinks this is the year 2052?"

    * * * *

    [January 16, 2027 - The Multiversal Office, Berlin Section]

    "Do they see us?" Sadi Pasteur asked, flattening himself even more
    tightly against the wall.
    Solar Max paused, then stepped into the cubicle farm. There was no
    change in the tenor of the typing, and not a single porcelain-like figure looked away from its computer screen. "Looks like they've all fallen into
    the Office's trap, like Li Fan last time we were here. But since they're already machines...as far as we know, anyway...I guess they were even more susceptible to the Office's siren song."
    "Makes sense," Meteor observed as the rest of the group slowly left the reception area, Pasteur last of them. "If any one of the shells could remain under Matrioshka's control long enough to do useful work, she wouldn't have needed to spawn off so many."
    "Or she got a LOT of work done," Pasteur pointed out.
    "Thanks, I was trying to not think about that," Arc sighed. "I guess we just have to hope that whatever the Impossible Five's mission here was, it failed. I don't suppose we can figure out how long ago these shells were abandoned to their fate?"
    Poniente frowned. "If I'd ever met the original, I could try to read
    the auras of the shells to see how long they've been separated, but even that would be assuming that the Office wouldn't overwrite their minimal spirits entirely."
    Oni silently ran a gloved finger along a shelf and held it up. Clean, like the reception area.
    "So we can't tell if any dust has built up on the dolls," Arc nodded.
    "We could probably figure it out if we logged into an available terminal...assuming there are any...but then we risk getting stuck."
    "Poniente, Pasteur...take a moment to mystically record whatever you can glean from their auras, physical makeup, whatever," Solar Max ordered. "Even if we have nothing to compare it to now, we might be able to get more intel
    on Matrioshka later."
    The two mages silently assented and each concentrated in their own way
    on the lifeless shells that the alternate future villain had shed from her
    own armor. Sadi pulled out a high-end whitecell with a sensor package
    attached and took readings, his variety of hermetic magic being backed by as much actual science as he could manage. He'd complained earlier about being forced to leave his blackcell behind, but eventually agreed that the Office might decide it violated internal policy and...Do Something. So, only nice legal people with nice legal tech. For her part, Poniente quickly knotted a few lengths of string into a mystic pattern to act as a sort of external memory, a ritual she'd adapted from the idea of the dreamcatcher.
    After about a minute, both mages were finished.
    "Okay, none of them have so much as twitched while you were analyzing them, so I think we can put the Matrioshka's in the 'worry about later' bin
    and keep moving," Arc gestured towards the far side of the cubicle farm,
    where doors to other departments could be seen.
    "Agreed," Solar Max nodded, and five of the six supernormals started walking. Oni did not.
    "Something wrong?" Meteor asked her.
    "I am not sure," the young Japanese woman furrowed her brow. "I think that whatever not-electricity powers the fixtures of the Office now also runs through the Matrioshka shells. But I cannot think of how I might use that knowledge to determine their age, I admit."
    "More data for later," Arc gestured at her teammate to follow, and they all set off for the door to Berlin, the original goal of the expedition.
    After a fairly short walk past rank upon rank of mindlessly typing automata, Poniente stopped, rubbing her temples in discomfort. "Something's WRONG about the door."
    "Wrong how...oh, I see it too," Pasteur seemed slightly taken aback. "Vaugely non-Euclidian?"
    Solar Max reached out with his ability to sense gravitational fields, something that generally hadn't told him anything useful in the Office
    before, but now? "You're right. Normally gravity in here is a tightly
    uniform value, as if they looked up standard gravity in a manual and applied
    it everywhere. But it's starting to ripple around the Berlin door."
    "Is the effect coming from this side or the other side?" Arc asked.
    "Can't tell from here," Solar Max frowned. "I'm not sure which idea
    makes me more uncomfortable, though."
    "I vote for 'other side' being worse," Meteor chimed in. "That'd mean Lady Sable is definitely trying to get in here right now. If it's coming
    from this side, it could just be the Office taking precautions in *case* she tries."
    "Let's get a little closer, if you can do that without too much pain?" Solar Max asked Poniente.
    "It's not really that bad, more like looking at a too-bright light," she admitted.
    "Meteor, try a quick in-out and see if anything reacts?" Arc suggested, and Solar Max nodded.
    As soon as the speedster started to move, the nearest Matrioshkas leapt from their cubicles and barred the way, with Meteor almost slamming into them before reversing course.
    "Did the Office make them do that, or was that..." Solar Max began,
    before being cut off by Arc.
    "Oni, stop!"
    Oni's body slumped to the floor as the "magnetic ghost" left it,
    invisibly moving into one of the Matrioshka shells. The shell started to
    spasm as if standing on a downed power line.
    "Czzzn't kkkktrrrl..." the normally silent shell sputtered before
    bursting into nanoparticle dust.
    As one, all of the Matrioshkas swarmed towards the assembled heroes
    (and one villain).
    "Oni must've hit a security override!" Solar Max shouted.
    "I hate fight scenes!" Pasteur ducked into one of the vacated cubicles, narrowly missed by the Matrioshka that had just vacated it.
    The next minute or so was a flurry of porcelain shards and dust as the mindless and effectively directionless shells executed some sort of failsafe that even the Office hadn't weeded out of them. Unlike the fight around Monaco, though, they did not seem particularly dangerous and were quite fragile.
    Before long, the office was faintly dusty for the first time in perhaps its entire history, the dust being made up of self-destructed nanoparticle armor.
    "Either these were never meant for a fight, or being separated from
    'mom' weakened them a lot," Arc observed as she brushed some nanoparticles
    out of her hair. "We're going to need a full decon suite when we get back, I don't trust this dust to be 100% inert, even if that's all we've ever gotten from defeated shells."
    "And we might as well go back now," Pasteur said, poking up out of the cubicle and pointing past the group. "The Berlin door is gone."

    * * * *

    [January 16, 2027 - Somewhere on the Mediterranean Shore]

    "The signals have been lost, mistress," Cronyx spoke from Matrioshka's palm. The diminutive holographic Artificial Consciousness "daemon"
    technically served as the silent Russian's assistant, but most of the time he was simply her voice expressed at a remove. Thus, it was sometimes unclear
    if "mistress" referred to Matrioshka herself, or to the woman she reported
    to.
    That woman, who preferred to be known only as Never thanks to the fact that the version of her native to this time would never become her, rarely
    let such ambiguity bother her, however. "Anything come through before the end?"
    Matrioshka shook her head in unison with Cronyx, and the daemon replied, "Something triggered the self-destructs. But that is all the information the Office seems willing to have let us have. The independent units should have run out of power some time ago, however, so they did not self-destruct simply as a result of powering down. The Office must have been keeping them running until...they didn't."
    "That's something, at least. The Office wanted them to continue
    existing. I presume that any humans caught at one of those desks would never have to worry about starving to death, either. For all its power, the Office seems to need workers, even such minimally living ones as your shells. There might be some other cause, but I'm going to assume that someone else entered the Office and interfered with the enslaved units, which ultimately led to their dissolution," Never speculated. She rarely used her paranormal ability anymore, her true power was an uncanny insight into the motivations of her rivals and enemies, honed by decades of practice in a timeline that would
    never be. "Given the current crisis in Berlin, and the fact we accessed the
    EU branch of the Office using our credentials as rulers of much of Europe, it doesn't take a genius to figure out who might have been there to interfere."
    "Indeed not, mistress," Cronyx nodded. "Sadly, those credentials have since been voided, as the Office seems to have taken our arrival as a
    reminder to clean up after itself. I am curious what might have happened had we tried to exit to our original timeline, before that option was eliminated from the directory."
    "It could have taken us home, yes. Or it could have deposited us in a void of unbeing...just because the Office still remembered our timeline after its diversion doesn't mean it would let us go there. Time travel theory has never been very reliable, maybe our home still exists somewhere and somewhen
    in the multiverse, but we do know that there are still barriers between many
    of the alternatives, even leaving aside the infamous 1998 Barrier. Best to make the most of what we have in this new timeline, and continue the long game."
    "A pity we could not extract much information of use in that long game, before each of the units was suborned," Cronyx said in an imitation of disappointment.
    "Oh, never count any information as useless or insignificant. We just don't know yet how we'll be able to use what we found before we were evicted...."

    * * * *

    [January 17, 2027 - Eurasian Union Regional Assembly, Prague]

    "Well, that was a bust," Solar Max addressed the room. "At least we didn't end up worse off than before. On the plus side, we have some intel on the Impossible Five's recent activities, and correlating that with some weird bureaucratic snafus in the last few days suggests they were in the Office at least five days ago."
    "The year 2052 cropping up in systems probably should've clued someone
    in before today," Lightfoot frowned.
    "Don't be too hard on the bureaucrats, Tom," Arc shrugged. "Information about the I5 is kept on a need to know basis. Tripped up by our own information security."
    "In any case," Solar Max resumed, his summing up, "we're no closer to getting into Berlin. Does anyone else have any ideas?"

    ============================================================================

    Author's Notes:

    Wow, two issues in one calendar year! At this rate, I might even have City of Night completed before the 25th Anniversary of ASH!

    On the topic of the anniversary, we might be doing something special for that, it's still in the early musing stage. I've reached out to people who have written for ASH and started soliciting ideas...we want some sort of coherent (pun intended) theme, but not tight interlocking continuity that
    would bog things down until the 26th anniversary.

    The Tyrones are a reference to how older MMOs like City of Heroes only
    had a limited selection of faces for the NPCs, so you might run into two NPC mission contacts who were identical except for the color of their tie. The usual in-game explanation for this sort of thing is that the differences
    exist below the resolution of the graphics, and in "real life" you could
    easily tell the two NPCs apart were they standing next to each other. I decided to go the other way, and have them really be identical once they were run through the CoH-to-ASH filter.

    ============================================================================

    For all the back issues, plus additional background information, art,
    and more, go to http://www.eyrie.org/~dvandom/ASH !

    http://ash.wikidot.com/ is the official ASH Wiki, focusing on the Fourth Heroic Age, but containing some information about other Ages.

    ============================================================================

    --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
    * Origin: fsxNet Usenet Gateway (21:1/5)
  • From Drew Nilium@21:1/5 to Dave Van Domelen on Thu Nov 11 21:52:16 2021
    On 10/11/21 1:33 PM, Dave Van Domelen wrote:
    [The cover is an homage to the stapler-taking scene in the
    movie Office Space, with Solar Max having his stapler (which
    is mostly red but has his orange and yellow insignia on it as
    well) taken away by a shadowy silhouette with an insincere
    grin standing out white against the blackness.]

    X3 Awwww yeah, here we go

    The normally untalkative Oni was, oddly, the one to break the silence following Solar Max's suggestion that they use the Multiversal Office as a pathway into Berlin.
    "You weren't there, Hotspur. We were just guarding the door."
    That broke the tension, and while no one actually laughed or even snickered, there was a palpable sense that most people wanted to.

    Heeheehee :3

    "Are you sure that's safe?" Gerhard Hesse, the STRAFE representative, asked. "I've seen some of the paperwork generated by the new Combine Office of Alternative Personhood [see Time Capsules #13 - Ed.], but they've only been working on this for a few months. An awful lot of our most useful people to send into Berlin might still have some classification issues."

    Oh, I'd forgotten about that. <3

    And trying to clear up that mess would
    cause a diplomatic fecal-nado with the MC.

    X3 What a good term

    "I'll want a decent-sized team at this end in case things go completely pear-shaped and darkness demons come pouring out the door," Solar Max added, "and that should also include a few veterans of the Office to make a second attempt if we never come out.

    Darkness demons in business casual!! D:

    "There should be more than one mage," Terrastar pointed out. "Assuming that the Office will admit me to the EU branch, I doubt there'd be any issues surrounding my...paperwork."
    Arc was the first to reply, "Non. I'm more concerned that your status as a royal heir on your Earth would give you too much power in the Office, and the EU is not willing to grant you access to our section of the Multiversal Office."

    Ah, an excellent point. X3;;;

    "Think like a villain?" Sadi smirked. "Indeed. Helping my patron run a city of 'villainy,'" he looked like he was about to make air-quotes but only barely restrained himself,

    heeheehee

    "It's so empty," Poniente noted as the door shut behind them, leaving the sextet fully within the interdimensional reality. "There's no soul to this room, even though it looks like someone just stepped out for coffee," she ran a gloved hand along the top of the reception desk, coming away totally clean. "It's...waiting."
    "The Office wants to be used," Meteor nodded, "but it's a trap. Like a pitcher plant. Maybe accepting its invitation would benefit us in the long run, but..." she shuddered, her speed rendering it almost a buzz.

    I feel like I've acquired a new perspective on things since I wrote the issue of
    ALNHT?R? with Library Lad and the Office... I should come back to that sometime...

    "I don't sense any electricity," Oni looked about the reception room, then up at the overhead lights. "The surface details all look like one would expect from a modern office, but the lights...just work. No current, the light isn't really light either. We just think there's light."
    "And that isn't ominous at all, is it?"

    Indeed. o3o;

    The plant does have an aura of life, but it's
    incredibly faint and indistinguishable from the aura of this desk, or the carpet. I think the entire dimension is alive, its spirit spread out over an unimaginable volume."

    ooooooh fascinating

    Meteor paused. "I think you're right. Which is weird, because it's Saturday, you'd think it'd feel less alive. Assuming the Office observes weekends. It's always Monday somewhere, I guess?"

    Mission to Margaritaville!

    "Worst case, it means Lady Sable's already sent some people through from
    her end..." Pasteur smiled in a very discomfiting way.

    Oh dear.

    One of the stranger
    results of this new world "translating" the refugees of M'emba's home reality was that many of the common folk shared one of a handful of appearances. It was never something she recalled being a significant issue back home, the similarity was sometimes noted but was never a real problem. Here, they formed what amounted to clone cohorts, down to the DNA. Most of them even shared a given name, such as Tyrone, but even those who didn't have the "family" name had come to be referred to by the most common name of their genetic type.

    Hmmmmm, I see, I see

    "What would you ask of me, honored rock?" M'emba arched her eyebrow.
    "If you don't recognize a communication spell, shaman, then we might not
    have any use for each other," a woman's voice spoke as lips formed on the surface of the stone. "But if I could not recognize sarcasm, the same would be true."

    X3 <3

    "My gods are dead, because we killed them millennia ago," the stone replied. "Judging by what the gods did in this world, I'd say we made the right decision.

    I mean, fair.

    Now, this is purest supposition, but I have learned
    that the existence of magic means that wild coincidences are more likely than people would think. I believe that our would-be new goddess might have found a way to feed upon the power of your dead god...or someone enough like him for you to feel the similarity."

    Awwwww shit! (I mean, we, the audience, knew that, but awwwww shit!)

    "So, the only way to find out more is to open the door," Sadi shrugged, stepping forwards. "I'll open it and get out of the way, while one of you sturdier sorts stands ready to greet the room?"

    "Greet the room" is such a good term for it.

    Every cubicle within view was occupied by a featureless female humanoid figure, like a mannequin made from the thinnest porcelain. None of them looked towards the door or gave any sign they could see or hear anything other than their workload.
    "What are...?" Poniente started to ask as she edged out of hiding.
    "Matrioshkas. The Impossible Five have infiltrated the Multiversal Office somehow," Solar Max replied.

    !!! Holy shit :o Didn't expect that!

    "Yes, I know it's the weekend," she replied to the annoyed voice on the other end. "Otto's taken the whole trust fund. Yes, you know I have ways of knowing, but check for yourself. None of his other little hacks got away with much before the watchdog programs kicked in, you need to get someone on...WHAT? The system thinks he's an adult now? How the...it thinks this is the year 2052?"

    Oh no. X3

    "Makes sense," Meteor observed as the rest of the group slowly left the reception area, Pasteur last of them. "If any one of the shells could remain under Matrioshka's control long enough to do useful work, she wouldn't have needed to spawn off so many."
    "Or she got a LOT of work done," Pasteur pointed out.
    "Thanks, I was trying to not think about that," Arc sighed.

    Heeheehee

    "I guess we
    just have to hope that whatever the Impossible Five's mission here was, it failed. I don't suppose we can figure out how long ago these shells were abandoned to their fate?"

    Oh huhhhh, I see

    "Meteor, try a quick in-out and see if anything reacts?" Arc suggested, and Solar Max nodded.
    As soon as the speedster started to move, the nearest Matrioshkas leapt from their cubicles and barred the way, with Meteor almost slamming into them before reversing course.

    Well then. o.o

    "Czzzn't kkkktrrrl..." the normally silent shell sputtered before bursting into nanoparticle dust.
    As one, all of the Matrioshkas swarmed towards the assembled heroes (and one villain).
    "Oni must've hit a security override!" Solar Max shouted.
    "I hate fight scenes!"

    I love 'em :3

    The next minute or so was a flurry of porcelain shards and dust as the mindless and effectively directionless shells executed some sort of failsafe that even the Office hadn't weeded out of them. Unlike the fight around Monaco, though, they did not seem particularly dangerous and were quite fragile.
    Before long, the office was faintly dusty for the first time in perhaps its entire history, the dust being made up of self-destructed nanoparticle armor.

    Heeheehee

    "And we might as well go back now," Pasteur said, poking up out of the cubicle and pointing past the group. "The Berlin door is gone."

    Awwwww shit, knew it couldn't be that easy

    "That's something, at least. The Office wanted them to continue existing. I presume that any humans caught at one of those desks would never have to worry about starving to death, either. For all its power, the Office seems to need workers, even such minimally living ones as your shells.

    Hmmmmmm yes.


    Time travel theory has
    never been very reliable, maybe our home still exists somewhere and somewhen in the multiverse, but we do know that there are still barriers between many of the alternatives, even leaving aside the infamous 1998 Barrier. Best to make the most of what we have in this new timeline, and continue the long game."

    Awwww c'mon, it's fun! *is split among seventeen fractal selves*


    Drew "fweemish vroomly" Nilium

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