... Apparently not!
We'll see if anyone besides those reading from the RACC List Archive
can read this.
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Issue #15NoWait27!! (And Maybe #25 Should be 14??!! Who Knows?!!!!) _______________________________________________________________________________
From: Drew Nilium
"that... that *NAME*!" The Unknown Ninja stood, hands clenching intofists,
entire body rigid with rage! "I know! I REMEMBER!" Red light blazedout of the
eyeholes of the mask, and he threw his head back and roared--"ULTIMATE NINJA!"
And the invisible barrier expanded outward, pushing back the crimsonlight! The
border between them wavered and wobbled like ballistic gel mid-target-practice,before--
and Nina had just enough time to see the Ninja's eyes widen in fear
...dust drifted down from the ceiling, settling over the ruined,cratered lobby.
Manga Girl pulled herself out of the dent her body had made in the wall. >"wha..." she mumbled. "...wha happen? Nina..."
And she fell to the floor, alone.
And small shadowy creature looked down at all this and frowned a bit.
A ruined, cratered LNHHQ lobby? That wasn't fun! And then it snapped
its tiny little fingers.
And everything returned to the way it was supposed to be.
And the shadowy creature grinned.
** ** ** ** **
"That -- that *NAME*!" the Unknown Ninja said starting to rage a bit.
"Whoah whoah WHOAHH!" said Totally Real LNH Writer stepping towards
the ninja with his hands making a calm down motion. "Let's all just
-- calm -- down -- a bit! Let's not do anything foolish. Let's all
just take some chill pills -- okay?
"Also -- I am a Totally Real LNH Writer! No, really! As we speak --
I am totally writing all of this down! Everything that's happening! Honest! And so you don't want to do anything crazy like -- uh kill
me. Not that you could of course! Because I'm the writer who is
writing all this, so I wouldn't die. But I'd be really annoyed by you trying to kill me so I might just not finish this story. And maybe
I'd become like a Superguy Writer or something! And if I stopped
writing this story -- that would be it for the LNH and the Looniverse! Yeah! Because I'm the LAST Totally Real LNH Writer! The Last One!!
No one else is writing the LNH anymore! I'm the Last One that cares
about you guys! Uhhuh!! You do something like try to kill me --
well, that's it! It all goes away! No More Looniverse! Every one of
you will disappear this time for good!! FOR GOOD!! So, heh, let's not
you know -- kill me, okay, guys?"
"Wait," said the Unknown Ninja looking very intently at Totally Real
LNH Writer. "So, what you're saying is -- if I were to kill you -- Everything would disappear. We would all disappear?"
"Uh, yeah... I uh... yeah that would be the gist of it. Heh, now
let's..." said Totally Real LNH Writer backing away slightly from the
Unknown Ninja.
"Hmm..." And then with lightning fast speed the Unknown Ninja plunged
his hand into the Totally Real LNH Writer's chest and pulled out a
still beating heart. Totally Real LNH Writer looked with horror at
his still beating heart and muttered, "What a total waste of such a
cool exciting new..." and then his body thudded onto the floor.
The Unknown Ninja looked intently at the heart in his hand that
eventually became very lifeless. "No. The World still seems to be
here. So -- you were mistaken."
"Ohgod no no NO!" said The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja starting to
really freak out. "It was his idea -- I mean I mean -- I was
brainwashed -- I never wanted to do this! Please! You got to believe me! Ohgod -- the LNH is supposed to save people not let maniacs kill people! Please!! Please someone!"
"It's okay -- I'll," said Fearless stepping in between the ninjas with
a skeptical tone in his voice, "Try to do something." He held his
fists in a boxing stance.
The Unknown Ninja ignored the two of them and just stared at his
bloody hand. "The Ultimate Ninja. The Ultimate Ninja -- that's --
that's my name. But how am I here? I shouldn't be here. I was sent somewhere else. I was free. Free of this place -- no longer having
to do this stupid thankless job. Free to..." And then an anger
started to emanate from his eyes. "Some one brought me back. But
who? Who would dare?!"
Okay, thought the shadowy creature, The Ninja was becoming a little
bit too self-aware for its taste. Let's just return The Ninja to the
more fun amnesiac killing machine state. The creature snapped its
fingers unleashing another retcon towards The Ninja. And nothing happened. The creature snapped its fingers a few more times. Still Nothing. And then the creature could see that The Ninja was looking straight at it. No, that -- that wasn't possible. The Ninja couldn't
see it? Could he?
And before the shadowy creature could ruminate some about that, The
Ninja's hand lunged through whatever dimensions that existed between
the two of them and grabbed the creature and pulled it down to the
mortal realm.
The Ninja's hand squeezed tightly around the furry neck of some
raccoon looking creature that had a purple derby for a hat and black
vest with two R's monogrammed into it. "You! You're the one who
brought me back! Why?!!"
"Hey, that's uh... Retcon RACCoon!" said Manga Girl. "Isn't it?
Pretty sure."
The raccoon began to panic and started to furiously snap its fingers.
But its powers were no longer working. But before it could feel the
full wrath of The Ninja, some force snatched it away. The Ninja
scanned everywhere -- but the Raccoon was gone.
"Oh, uh, that was pretty weird," said The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja
still hiding behind Fearless Leader. "Right? Also, are we done
killing people? I sure hope so!"
** ** ** ** **
Credits:
Manga Girl -- Amabel Holland
Ultimate Ninja -- wReam
Fearless Leader -- Dave Van Domelen
Retcon RACCoon, Totally Real LNH Writer, and
Totally Real Ultimate Ninja are mine.
Arthur "And another one..." Spitzer
Scott Eiler <seiler@eilertech.com> writes:
... Apparently not!
I am alas out of ideas that I can fix on this end. It did post to the newsgroup and I read it via NNTP on my server, so I think this is a
problem specific to the news server that folks are using. I'm guessing
that it doesn't like multipart/alternative messages that have both a text
and an HTML version.
Russ Allbery <eagle@eyrie.org> wrote at 21:32 this Monday (GMT):
Scott Eiler <seiler@eilertech.com> writes:
... Apparently not!
I am alas out of ideas that I can fix on this end. It did post to the
newsgroup and I read it via NNTP on my server, so I think this is a
problem specific to the news server that folks are using. I'm guessing
that it doesn't like multipart/alternative messages that have both a text
and an HTML version.
Quite weird.
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