Leadership Cry.sig: Net.ropolis 2023 #25
The Totally Real Conclusion!! Honest!!!
"Well, guess that wraps up another Leadership Cry.Sig!" said a very
out of shape man wearing an Ultimate Ninja costume. But also a man
that anyone who looked at him would just have to say, 'That's The
Totally Real Ultimate Ninja!!' He glanced to another man next to him. "Time to break out the Victory Cigars!"
"Yep!" said another grinning man who began handing out cigars to all
the confused and befuddled LNH'rs who were currently in the lobby.
The man had a very ordinary look about him and a T-shirt that read,
'I'm a Totally Real LNH Writer! Honest!' He also had what looked
like a Totally Real Nobel Prize for LNH Writing hanging on his neck.
"This was probably my most amazing writing yet! And I couldn't have
done it without the fine contributions of those who followed before
like Drew, Arthur, Rob, Subset Mask, Jeanne, Scott, and the rest! But
I probably do deserve most of the credit for the amazing job I did
wrapping up all of those confusing dangling threads and plotlines.
"So good in fact that Saxon Brenton came out of retirement to write
another End of the Month review to celebrate my greatness. Here's
what he said," the man began reading from a piece of printer paper he
pulled out of one of his pockets. "There is proof now that Alan
Moore, Tolstoy, Shakespeare, and James Joyce made incredible
passionate love and all of them got really pregnant and all them gave
birth to these really colorful robot lions that merged together to
give us this Greatest Writer of All Time -- and that proof is --
Totally Real LNH Writer Man who wrote this totally great and totally
real LNH story!! So, great in fact that I, Saxon Brenton, will
despair for humanity if this great work doesn't win all the awards
especially the Nobel Prize For LNH Writing! For if that does not
happen -- Humanity will have committed its Greatest Crime and there
Will Be No Hope!!!!!" The man then stuffed the paper back into his
pocket and wiped a tear from his eye. "Fortunately, I did win all the awards," he gestured to the Nobel Prize dangling from his neck. "So, yeah. I did that."
Nina Yamashiro looked at the cigar in her hand. "Wait. This doesn't
-- how did I get here? I was..."
"It's okay, Nina," said The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja giving her an understanding sympathetic look. "It's probably that Amnesia that
Amnesia gave us all that made us forget a lot of what happened in
Leadership Cry.sig: Net.ropolis 2023 #14-24!"
"Yeah yeah yeah! Amnesia! That's what happened!" nodded The Totally
Real LNH Writer. "Totally!"
"Even, I, with My Totally Real and Incredible Ninja Powers have some
gaps in my amazing memory. But rest assured thanks to my incredible
Ninja skills all the bad guys are either dead, in jail, or totally reformed! And we all saved the Looniverse for like the zillionth
time! And I won that Leadership Election -- Huge Landslide! So,
guess I'm back to being the leader again."
"And I also won in a Huge Landslide for Second in Command," Totally
Real LNH Writer chimed in, "Sorry, Fearless Leader. You did a great
job, but the times -- they are a changing -- maybe you could be my
Deputy Second in Command or something."
Fearless Leader started to speak and then just shook his head and gave
a sigh.
"Wait! Who even are you?" said Master Roster Man pointing accusingly
at Totally Real LNH Writer. "Have you ever even appeared in a story before? There's no record of you in any roster!"
"Umm? Oh, sure I have! Yeah! Tons of stories! Probably even more
than you! Yeah! As for not being in the Roster?" Totally Real LNH Writer paused a bit as he tried to come up with a good excuse. "Oh,
yeah. I'm probably in the Top Secret LNH Roster. Yeah! Where all the
Top Secret LNH Members are. Guess you just don't have Top Secret LNH
Roster Access Clearance -- that's a shame. Plus I've been like a
Totally Real LNH Writer for forever. Was there on day one. Like I
was in the Chatroom with Scuv, Druzzt, wRome, and Dvandamm when they
were coming up with the LNH. And they were like worried. 'Hey!
Should we be doing this? Seems kind of risky -- this LNH thing.' And
I was like, 'Yeah. That's why we should do it. Because it's RISKY!'
And so that's how the LNH formed. Yep. Totally True Story! Uhuh.
No need to thank me -- but you can. I do take Venmo!"
"Anyway," said The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja glaring at Totally Real
LNH Writer. "We're all suffering from that whammy Amnesia threw at
us. Some more than others. That's probably why most of you can't
remember Totally Real LNH Writer. Even I have these memory holes.
Like with all the various LNH passwords to like the LNH Bank Accounts,
Credit Cards, PIN numbers -- and since I'm the leader now because I
totally won that LNH Leadership Election by a Big Landslide -- I
probably should know all of that. So if anyone can direct me to the..."
"No! This is wrong! This is all wrong!" said Nina trying to break
free from the spell that seemed to have ensnared all of the LNH.
"None of this makes any sense! Even for an LNH story this all seems
way too..."
"NO! THIS MAKES TOTAL SENSE!!" boomed the voice of The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja as his glowing, crackling eyes pierced into Nina's
eyes. The colors in the LNHHQ lobby disappeared except for various
shades of crimson red. "I AM THE TOTALLY REAL ULTIMATE NINJA! THIS
IS TOTALLY TRUE! NO, REALLY!! I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE TOTALLY REAL ULTIMATE NINJA! AND I SHALL AND FOREVER AND EVER BE THE TOTALLY REAL ULTIMATE NINJA! SERIOUSLY FOLKS! THIS IS ALL TOTALLY, REALLY,
REALLY, REALLY TRUE!! SWEAR TO GOD!!!! WHO IS THE REAL TOTALLY REAL ULTIMATE NINJA?!!!"
And everyone in the room in unison shouted with there eyes kind of
glazed over, "YOU ARE! YOU ARE THE TOTALLY REAL ULTIMATE NINJA!!!!"
And Nina? Tears began to fall from her eyes. Tears of joy. And she
rushed over to The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja and gave him a big hug.
"Oh, God! You're back! I'm sorry I doubted you!! But you're back, Uncle! The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja is Back!! Back to Lead Us ALL!!!"
"Umm, oof -- yeah," said The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja wincing in
pain as Nina's big hug began to crush him to death. "Uhh, could you
go a little bit easier with the -- aaagggghhhh -- can't can't..."
"Oh! Sorry, Uncle! I guess escaping from the afterlife took a toll
on you? I guess that's why you look so incredibly out of shape?"
"Yeah, uh... sure." And quickly added. "And probably all that saving
the Looniverse too. That took quite a toll!
"Anyhow, you did a fine job -- leading this place, Nina. But that's
over with. Because I'm back. And because I'm The Totally Real
Ultimate Ninja! And I won the LNH Leadership in the Biggest Landslide Ever! So Big!! And now it's going to be all like it was! Back to
the Glory Days!" And he turned and addressed all the LNH'rs that were currently in the lobby and pumped his fists in the air. "THE LNH IS
BACK, BABY! AND BETTER THAN EVER!!"
And all of the LNH'rs started hooting and hollering. And a number of
them shouted, totally overjoyed, "It's Party Time!" The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja was back. Everything was Right with the World Again.
Bad Judgment Boy looked at what was happening with a gleam in his
eyes. "I have a really, really good feeling about all this! Hmm. Am
I still President? Am I running for President? Probably should look
into that."
And The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja looked at Totally Real LNH Writer
with a smirk on his face. "Can you see if you can get all of those passwords and codes?"
"Sure. What are you going to do?"
"Oh, you know. Just your typical Totally Real Ultimate Ninja Top
Secret Stuff -- that sort of thing." And they both laughed.
** ** ** **
Elsewhere, in a Las Vegas Casino...
A man wearing a bright red pimp hat and shades, and a pink fur coat
was shaking a fist full of dice. He let the dice fly on the craps
table. Damn. Snake Eyes! And then he looked at his hand. The
tattoos were gone. They were all gone. He looked at his other hand.
And then various other parts of his skin. And then began to freak out
and tear whatever clothes he had been wearing off. They were all
gone! All of his tattoos were gone!! What had happened to them?!!
Continuity Porn Star ran from various Security Guards that were trying
to tackle him and made his way out of the Casino and then collapsed
onto the sidewalk.
Something was wrong with the World. Something was very, very wrong.
** ** ** **
To Be Continued?!!
** ** ** **
The Ultimate Ninja is wReam's
(Ultimate Ninja II) Nina Yamashiro is Amabel Holland's
Fearless Leader is Dave Van Domelen's
Master Roster Man is Jef Kolodziej's
Amnesia is Jeff Barnes's
And Bad Judgment Boy, Continuity Porn Star, Totally
Real LNH Writer, and Totally Real Ultimate Ninja are
mine.
Writer's Notes:
Hah! Sorry about this! I had zero ideas about what
to do with all the previous stuff -- so I just ignored
it and skipped a bunch of issues because this idea
popped into my head and I had to do it.
Totally Real LNH Writer is a slight reworking of this
character that I've thought about for a long time and
I think I did post about this character in some RACC
threads. I called him Fake LNH Writer back then.
He has the superpower to convince people that he's
a real LNH writer, but is pretty ordinary beyond that
power. He carries around fake reviews and fake awards
that he's won for all the fake LNH stories he's never
actually wrote.
And Totally Real Ultimate Ninja is kind of the same.
Just with the power to convince everyone that he's
The Real Ultimate Ninja, but a very ordinary person
besides that power.
I'd say the characters are these grifter types who
have mostly up to this point been using their powers
for very petty small time stuff.
So, I've written another LNH story. Every story I write
now days feels a bit like the last one I'll ever write.
But here's one more.
Arthur "The Totally Real..." Spitzer
I don't see this in the newsgroup, so I'm boosting it. It seems like as good a Last LNH Story as any could be.
Scott 8{D>
On 2024-03-14 19:15, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
Leadership Cry.sig: Net.ropolis 2023 #25
The Totally Real Conclusion!! Honest!!!
"Well, guess that wraps up another Leadership Cry.Sig!" said a very
out of shape man wearing an Ultimate Ninja costume. But also a man
that anyone who looked at him would just have to say, 'That's The
Totally Real Ultimate Ninja!!' He glanced to another man next to him.
"Time to break out the Victory Cigars!"
"Yep!" said another grinning man who began handing out cigars to all
the confused and befuddled LNH'rs who were currently in the lobby.
The man had a very ordinary look about him and a T-shirt that read,
'I'm a Totally Real LNH Writer! Honest!' He also had what looked
like a Totally Real Nobel Prize for LNH Writing hanging on his neck.
"This was probably my most amazing writing yet! And I couldn't have
done it without the fine contributions of those who followed before
like Drew, Arthur, Rob, Subset Mask, Jeanne, Scott, and the rest! But
I probably do deserve most of the credit for the amazing job I did
wrapping up all of those confusing dangling threads and plotlines.
"So good in fact that Saxon Brenton came out of retirement to write
another End of the Month review to celebrate my greatness. Here's
what he said," the man began reading from a piece of printer paper he
pulled out of one of his pockets. "There is proof now that Alan
Moore, Tolstoy, Shakespeare, and James Joyce made incredible
passionate love and all of them got really pregnant and all them gave
birth to these really colorful robot lions that merged together to
give us this Greatest Writer of All Time -- and that proof is --
Totally Real LNH Writer Man who wrote this totally great and totally
real LNH story!! So, great in fact that I, Saxon Brenton, will
despair for humanity if this great work doesn't win all the awards
especially the Nobel Prize For LNH Writing! For if that does not
happen -- Humanity will have committed its Greatest Crime and there
Will Be No Hope!!!!!" The man then stuffed the paper back into his
pocket and wiped a tear from his eye. "Fortunately, I did win all the
awards," he gestured to the Nobel Prize dangling from his neck. "So,
yeah. I did that."
Nina Yamashiro looked at the cigar in her hand. "Wait. This doesn't
-- how did I get here? I was..."
"It's okay, Nina," said The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja giving her an
understanding sympathetic look. "It's probably that Amnesia that
Amnesia gave us all that made us forget a lot of what happened in
Leadership Cry.sig: Net.ropolis 2023 #14-24!"
"Yeah yeah yeah! Amnesia! That's what happened!" nodded The Totally
Real LNH Writer. "Totally!"
"Even, I, with My Totally Real and Incredible Ninja Powers have some
gaps in my amazing memory. But rest assured thanks to my incredible
Ninja skills all the bad guys are either dead, in jail, or totally
reformed! And we all saved the Looniverse for like the zillionth
time! And I won that Leadership Election -- Huge Landslide! So,
guess I'm back to being the leader again."
"And I also won in a Huge Landslide for Second in Command," Totally
Real LNH Writer chimed in, "Sorry, Fearless Leader. You did a great
job, but the times -- they are a changing -- maybe you could be my
Deputy Second in Command or something."
Fearless Leader started to speak and then just shook his head and gave
a sigh.
"Wait! Who even are you?" said Master Roster Man pointing accusingly
at Totally Real LNH Writer. "Have you ever even appeared in a story
before? There's no record of you in any roster!"
"Umm? Oh, sure I have! Yeah! Tons of stories! Probably even more
than you! Yeah! As for not being in the Roster?" Totally Real LNH
Writer paused a bit as he tried to come up with a good excuse. "Oh,
yeah. I'm probably in the Top Secret LNH Roster. Yeah! Where all the
Top Secret LNH Members are. Guess you just don't have Top Secret LNH
Roster Access Clearance -- that's a shame. Plus I've been like a
Totally Real LNH Writer for forever. Was there on day one. Like I
was in the Chatroom with Scuv, Druzzt, wRome, and Dvandamm when they
were coming up with the LNH. And they were like worried. 'Hey!
Should we be doing this? Seems kind of risky -- this LNH thing.' And
I was like, 'Yeah. That's why we should do it. Because it's RISKY!'
And so that's how the LNH formed. Yep. Totally True Story! Uhuh.
No need to thank me -- but you can. I do take Venmo!"
"Anyway," said The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja glaring at Totally Real
LNH Writer. "We're all suffering from that whammy Amnesia threw at
us. Some more than others. That's probably why most of you can't
remember Totally Real LNH Writer. Even I have these memory holes.
Like with all the various LNH passwords to like the LNH Bank Accounts,
Credit Cards, PIN numbers -- and since I'm the leader now because I
totally won that LNH Leadership Election by a Big Landslide -- I
probably should know all of that. So if anyone can direct me to the..."
"No! This is wrong! This is all wrong!" said Nina trying to break
free from the spell that seemed to have ensnared all of the LNH.
"None of this makes any sense! Even for an LNH story this all seems
way too..."
"NO! THIS MAKES TOTAL SENSE!!" boomed the voice of The Totally Real
Ultimate Ninja as his glowing, crackling eyes pierced into Nina's
eyes. The colors in the LNHHQ lobby disappeared except for various
shades of crimson red. "I AM THE TOTALLY REAL ULTIMATE NINJA! THIS
IS TOTALLY TRUE! NO, REALLY!! I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE TOTALLY REAL
ULTIMATE NINJA! AND I SHALL AND FOREVER AND EVER BE THE TOTALLY REAL
ULTIMATE NINJA! SERIOUSLY FOLKS! THIS IS ALL TOTALLY, REALLY,
REALLY, REALLY TRUE!! SWEAR TO GOD!!!! WHO IS THE REAL TOTALLY REAL
ULTIMATE NINJA?!!!"
And everyone in the room in unison shouted with there eyes kind of
glazed over, "YOU ARE! YOU ARE THE TOTALLY REAL ULTIMATE NINJA!!!!"
And Nina? Tears began to fall from her eyes. Tears of joy. And she
rushed over to The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja and gave him a big hug.
"Oh, God! You're back! I'm sorry I doubted you!! But you're back,
Uncle! The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja is Back!! Back to Lead Us ALL!!!" >>
"Umm, oof -- yeah," said The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja wincing in
pain as Nina's big hug began to crush him to death. "Uhh, could you
go a little bit easier with the -- aaagggghhhh -- can't can't..."
"Oh! Sorry, Uncle! I guess escaping from the afterlife took a toll
on you? I guess that's why you look so incredibly out of shape?"
"Yeah, uh... sure." And quickly added. "And probably all that saving
the Looniverse too. That took quite a toll!
"Anyhow, you did a fine job -- leading this place, Nina. But that's
over with. Because I'm back. And because I'm The Totally Real
Ultimate Ninja! And I won the LNH Leadership in the Biggest Landslide
Ever! So Big!! And now it's going to be all like it was! Back to
the Glory Days!" And he turned and addressed all the LNH'rs that were
currently in the lobby and pumped his fists in the air. "THE LNH IS
BACK, BABY! AND BETTER THAN EVER!!"
And all of the LNH'rs started hooting and hollering. And a number of
them shouted, totally overjoyed, "It's Party Time!" The Totally Real
Ultimate Ninja was back. Everything was Right with the World Again.
Bad Judgment Boy looked at what was happening with a gleam in his
eyes. "I have a really, really good feeling about all this! Hmm. Am
I still President? Am I running for President? Probably should look
into that."
And The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja looked at Totally Real LNH Writer
with a smirk on his face. "Can you see if you can get all of those
passwords and codes?"
"Sure. What are you going to do?"
"Oh, you know. Just your typical Totally Real Ultimate Ninja Top
Secret Stuff -- that sort of thing." And they both laughed.
** ** ** **
Elsewhere, in a Las Vegas Casino...
A man wearing a bright red pimp hat and shades, and a pink fur coat
was shaking a fist full of dice. He let the dice fly on the craps
table. Damn. Snake Eyes! And then he looked at his hand. The
tattoos were gone. They were all gone. He looked at his other hand.
And then various other parts of his skin. And then began to freak out
and tear whatever clothes he had been wearing off. They were all
gone! All of his tattoos were gone!! What had happened to them?!!
Continuity Porn Star ran from various Security Guards that were trying
to tackle him and made his way out of the Casino and then collapsed
onto the sidewalk.
Something was wrong with the World. Something was very, very wrong.
** ** ** **
To Be Continued?!!
** ** ** **
The Ultimate Ninja is wReam's
(Ultimate Ninja II) Nina Yamashiro is Amabel Holland's
Fearless Leader is Dave Van Domelen's
Master Roster Man is Jef Kolodziej's
Amnesia is Jeff Barnes's
And Bad Judgment Boy, Continuity Porn Star, Totally
Real LNH Writer, and Totally Real Ultimate Ninja are
mine.
Writer's Notes:
Hah! Sorry about this! I had zero ideas about what
to do with all the previous stuff -- so I just ignored
it and skipped a bunch of issues because this idea
popped into my head and I had to do it.
Totally Real LNH Writer is a slight reworking of this
character that I've thought about for a long time and
I think I did post about this character in some RACC
threads. I called him Fake LNH Writer back then.
He has the superpower to convince people that he's
a real LNH writer, but is pretty ordinary beyond that
power. He carries around fake reviews and fake awards
that he's won for all the fake LNH stories he's never
actually wrote.
And Totally Real Ultimate Ninja is kind of the same.
Just with the power to convince everyone that he's
The Real Ultimate Ninja, but a very ordinary person
besides that power.
I'd say the characters are these grifter types who
have mostly up to this point been using their powers
for very petty small time stuff.
So, I've written another LNH story. Every story I write
now days feels a bit like the last one I'll ever write.
But here's one more.
Arthur "The Totally Real..." Spitzer
I don't see this in the newsgroup, so I'm boosting it. It seems like as good a Last LNH Story as any could be.
Scott Eiler <seiler@eilertech.com> writes:
I don't see this in the newsgroup, so I'm boosting it. It seems like as
good a Last LNH Story as any could be.
Arthur's messages are sent via email, and are then posted to the
newsgroup. I'm guessing there are some message headers from the trip
through email that eternal-september doesn't like, but I'm not sure which ones they are. I took a guess and configured the moderation software to
drop a couple of headers, so we'll see if those were the problem.
The other possibility is that eternal-september doesn't like multipart/alternative messages for some reason. That's going to be harder for either Arthur or I to fix.
Oh, well. Guess people will just have to look through the list archives
if they want to see my posts.
Arthur "Another post..." Spitzer
Sounds like a reason to go back to posting just plaintext, if eternal-september is ASCII-only.
On 3/15/24 2:03 PM, Russ Allbery wrote:
dvandom@eyrie.org (Dave Van Domelen) writes:
Sounds like a reason to go back to posting just plaintext, if
eternal-september is ASCII-only.
The problem is that I'm not sure Gmail allows you to do that, at least
easily, for a specific recipient if you're using the web client or their
first-party apps. (And if you're mailing other Gmail users, you probably
don't want to use plain text.)
Third-party clients may have more options, but HTML is pretty ubiquitous
in email these days and plain-text email looks weird and is harder to read >> for most recipients.
Anyway, I'm still not sure it's the multipart/alternative as opposed to
the Dkim-Signature, which is email-specific stuff that I should have been
dropping in moderation (and am doing so now).
Uff, I'm sorry it's such a pain. @.@
Drew "is on eternal-september and hasn't had this problem before I don't think?"
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