[continued from previous message]

At
least, that was what Fatty Coon thought. And he swam quickly to the
bank and scampered into the bushes.

MIKE: And ate his cover.
TOM: 'Needs peanut butter!'

Now, this was what really happened.

MIKE: Our story begins with the Algeciras Crisis of 1905.

Farmer Green had come up
the brook to catch trout. On the end of his fish-line he had tied a make-believe fly,

CROW: For the discerning fisher who doesn't exist.

with a hook hidden under its red and yellow wings.
He had stolen along the brook very quietly, so that he wouldn't
frighten the fish.

TOM: He brought some presents in case he did, to reassure any scaredy-catfish.

And he had made so little noise that Fatty Coon
never heard him at all.

CROW: [ Fatty ] Hey, it's hard to hear someone over the sound of my deep-fat fryer!

Farmer Green had not seen Fatty, crouched as
he was among the stones. And when Fatty reached out and grabbed the make-believe fly Farmer Green was even more surprised at what happened
than Fatty himself.

TOM: Sammy Squirrel falls out of a tree, laughing.
MIKE: Fatty eats him.

If the fish-hook hadn't worked loose from Fatty's
mouth Farmer Green would have caught the queerest fish anybody ever
caught, almost.

CROW: Well, there was that mermaid-cerberus this guy down in Belmar caught but that was something else.

Something seemed to amuse Farmer Green, as he watched Fatty
dive into the bushes; and he laughed loud and long.

TOM: See? Fatty Coon brings joy to the world, at last.

But Fatty Coon
didn't laugh at all. His mouth was too sore;

MIKE: And full.

and he was too
frightened.

CROW: And awful.

But he was very, very glad that the strange bug had flown
away.

MIKE: And he learns the most important lesson of all, which is ...
CROW: I dunno. Preferably food things.
TOM: Let's blow this popsicle stand.
MIKE: Yeah, before Fatty eats it.

[ ALL exit the theater. ]

[ 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... ]

[ SATELLITE OF LOVE. TOM SERVO, MIKE, and CROW at the desk. ]

MIKE: Well.
TOM: So.
CROW: Well *and* so.
MIKE: So in his defense ---
[ TOM, CROW groan. ]
MIKE: OK, but name something Fatty did that a real raccoon ---
CROW: Don't care.
TOM: Look, we already know Nature sucks. That's why we have indoors.
CROW: And that is *all* the reminder of the cruel nature of the world that we ever need. Thank you.
MIKE: I .. well, over to you, Pearl.

[ CASTLE FORRESTER. PEARL, OBSERVER, and BOBO cackling. ]

PEARL: They don't even suspect!
OBSERVER: Why would they?
BOBO: Suspect what?

[ PEARL, OBSERVER glare at BOBO. ]

BOBO: What?
OBSERVER: Chapters Six ...
PEARL: Through Twenty.
BOBO: [ Not getting it. ] Oh. [ Getting it. ] Oh!

\ | /
\ | /
\|/
---O---
/|\
/ | \
/ | \

BOBO: [ Off screen ] Of this?

Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its characters and settings and concept are the property of ... you know, I'm not sure. It used to be Best Brains but now I think that's different? Well, it belongs to the people it really and truly belongs to
and this is just me playing with their toys. _The Tale of Fatty Coon_ was written by Arthur Scott Bailey and published in 1915 and accessed via archive.org, which is why I am reasonably confident they're in the public domain and can be used this way.

Keep Usenet circulating.

Fatty Coon's eyes turned green. It was a way they had,
whenever he was about to eat anything

--
Joseph Nebus
Math: The End 2016 Mathematics A To Z: Yang Hui http://wp.me/p1RYhY-18j Humor: The Top Ten For 2016 http://wp.me/p37lb5-1tw --------------------------------------------------------+---------------------

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