• MiSTed: The Tale of Jimmy Rabbit, Chapter 2 (1 / 1)

    From Joseph Nebus@21:1/5 to All on Tue Dec 31 22:57:26 2024
    XPost: alt.tv.mst3k, alt.fan.mst3k





    [Illustration: 2 Troublesome Mr. Mink]

    JOEL: [ Pointing to a spot ] Well, here's your trouble.
    TOM: Some of your trouble.



    Chapter 2

    CROW: Secrets of the Castle.


    Troublesome Mr. Mink

    CROW: o/` Sleeps in the pink // shaves in the dink // trying to save paper o/`



    Jimmy Rabbit arrived home somewhat out of breath.

    JOEL: Lucky he was running to the Breath Shop.

    But
    he was still happy, for he thought that he had shaken off
    that troublesome Mr. Mink.

    TOM: The Mink Manther.

    And he had no idea that Mr. Mink
    knew where he lived.

    JOEL: [ As Mr Mink ] 'I'm your next-door neighbor!'


    Now, it happened that old Mr. Crow's story about
    Jimmy's new tail had reached Mr. Mink's ears.

    CROW: And once Mr Mink found his ears boy was Jimmy going to be in trouble.

    And as soon as
    he heard it he had inquired where Jimmy Rabbit lived.

    TOM: [ As Mr Mink ] 'Again, next-door neighbor!'


    Mr. Crow had told him.

    TOM: Fink.
    CROW: Am not!

    And he took another look at
    Mr. Mink.

    CROW: [ As Mr Mink ] You like what you see?
    TOM: [ As Mr Mink ] You know, my spine goes all the way down.
    JOEL: What?


    "I notice you've lost your tail," he said.

    CROW: [ Tutting ] Gambling.


    "Yes!" Mr. Mink answered. "Farmer Green threw an axe
    at me once.

    TOM: Oh no! Farmer Green's a *hipster*?

    And it cut off my tail, as you see.

    CROW: The *heck*?
    JOEL: Arthur Scott Bailey turned *dark* for this one!
    I left that
    neighborhood then; and never cared to return to it.

    TOM: Yeah, I don't blame you there.

    But if
    this young Rabbit boy has found my tail, I shall certainly
    claim it at once."

    JOEL: Now wait a minute, this could be *any* brutally severed mink tail Jimmy's got.
    TOM: Do we know it's not the Fantastic Mister Fox's tail?

    So off he went. And Mr. Crow nodded his
    head wisely.

    CROW: Well of *course*. [ He nods ]

    It was just as he had said! There was trouble
    ahead for Jimmy Rabbit

    TOM: Yeah, good going stirring up the Drama, Crow.

    --or, you might say, there was trouble
    _behind_ for him;

    JOEL: *Might* you?
    CROW: Well, *you* might.

    for it was that handsome red tail, you
    remember, that was the cause of it all.

    ALL: Ooooooooh.
    TOM: Now I get it.

    CROW: It's 1916, so I guess you can listen to a 78 for ninety seconds and then agree the Zimmerman Telegram looks like mischief.

    when all at once somebody else decided it
    for him. For all at once a slim, red gentleman rushed at
    Jimmy, crying, "Give me my tail! I want my tail!"

    JOEL: And I want my two dollars too!


    It was Mr. Mink! And Jimmy Rabbit ran off as fast as
    he could go.

    TOM: [ Crying out, warning ] Tree!
    CROW: Bam!


    "This is my tail!" he called over his shoulder.

    JOEL: There are many like it but this one is mine!

    "I
    found it. And I'm not going to give it up to anybody."

    TOM: To any *body*, get it?
    JOEL: ... No?


    But Mr. Mink hurried after Jimmy.

    CROW: Fair.

    To be sure, Jimmy
    left him far behind. But Mr. Mink kept following.

    JOEL: Oh, it's not to be fair, it's to be sure.

    It was very
    annoying, for Jimmy knew that sooner or later that
    troublesome gentleman would be on his heels again.

    TOM: Arthur, why not say he was going to be on his _tail_ again?


    There was no use of Jimmy's crawling into any hole,

    CROW: Does it have to be useful? Can't you just crawl into any hole for the artistry of it?

    for he was four times as big as Mr. Mink; and, of course,
    anywhere he went, Mr. Mink could easily follow.

    TOM: Have you considered just stepping on Mr Mink?


    Jimmy Rabbit didn't know what to do. Mr. Mink had
    terribly sharp teeth. And he was very angry.

    CROW: Maybe you could be the bigger person, Jimmy?
    JOEL: [ As Jimmy ] 'I *am*! I'm four times his size!'

    But Jimmy was
    not angry at all. _He_ didn't want to fight.

    CROW: He *is* the bigger person.


    While he was trying to think of some way out of his
    trouble, something suddenly pulled him backward.

    TOM: Oh no! Frith picked an *awful* time to talk!

    Looking
    around, he saw Mr. Mink with his cruel teeth fastened in that
    beautiful red tail.

    JOEL: Hey, stop biting yourself!


    "Let go of me!" Jimmy Rabbit cried.

    TOM: [ As Mr Mink ] 'Ah, just pulling your tail, kiddo.'
    CROW: Pull the other one, it's got bells on.


    But Mr. Mink didn't say a word. In order to speak, he
    would have had to drop that precious tail.

    JOEL: You gotta have your priorities straight, yeah.

    And he had no idea
    of doing that. Besides, there was nothing he wanted to say.

    CROW: I don't know, I'd ask to see what my tail looks like from behind.

    There was no use of his calling, "Stop, thief!" when he had
    already stopped him, you know.

    TOM: Maybe a quick J'accuse, tough?


    Jimmy Rabbit pulled with all his might. And Mr. Mink
    dug his four feet into the ground and pulled with all of
    _his_.

    CROW: You know this is what it was like when tug-of-war was in the Olympics.


    And then, the first thing Jimmy knew, he fell
    forward, head over heels.

    TOM: Head over heels is ... standing.

    He was up in a jiffy, and off like
    a flash, running like the wind.

    CROW: And threw open the sash.


    But this time Mr. Mink did not follow.

    JOEL: Can you try repeating it in different words for him?


    When at last Jimmy sat down to rest he discovered why
    it was that Mr. Mink had stopped chasing him.

    TOM: Mr Mink saw this cat who'd accidentally got painted and ...

    His beautiful,
    new, red tail was gone! The bit of string had broken under
    all that pulling.

    CROW: Nooo! That was Mister Sparrow's string!

    And now Jimmy Rabbit had no tail except his
    own.

    JOEL: Really, can anyone have any tail except their own?


    "Where's your fine, bushy tail?" Mr. Crow asked Jimmy
    the next morning.

    CROW: Heh heh heh ... I'm setting him up for *such * a stinger.


    "Oh! I discovered who the owner of it was," Jimmy
    said. "He came for his property; and I let him have it."

    JOEL: [ As Jimmy ] I don't mean in the punching way! I mean in the nice way.


    But Mr. Crow was a wise old chap.

    CROW: [ Coughing, to draw attention to himself ]


    "Did you give him the string, too?" he inquired.

    CROW: [ Exaggeratedly ] HAHA HAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA! HA Ha ha ha ... ha ha ... ha ... ha ...

    [ A pause ]

    CROW: Did you two not get it?



    TOM: Maybe draw us a picture, Crow.

    [Illustration]

    TOM: Thanks.

    --
    Joseph Nebus
    Math Blog: https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com
    Humor Blog: https://nebushumor.wordpress.com --------------------------------------------------------+---------------------

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  • From June Of Daventry@21:1/5 to Joseph Nebus on Sat Jan 25 16:21:48 2025
    XPost: alt.tv.mst3k, alt.fan.mst3k

    On 12/31/24 17:57, Joseph Nebus wrote:




    [Illustration: 2 Troublesome Mr. Mink]

    JOEL: [ Pointing to a spot ] Well, here's your trouble.
    TOM: Some of your trouble.



    Chapter 2

    CROW: Secrets of the Castle.


    Troublesome Mr. Mink

    CROW: o/` Sleeps in the pink // shaves in the dink // trying to save paper o/`



    Jimmy Rabbit arrived home somewhat out of breath.

    JOEL: Lucky he was running to the Breath Shop.

    But
    he was still happy, for he thought that he had shaken off
    that troublesome Mr. Mink.

    TOM: The Mink Manther.

    And he had no idea that Mr. Mink
    knew where he lived.

    JOEL: [ As Mr Mink ] 'I'm your next-door neighbor!'


    Now, it happened that old Mr. Crow's story about
    Jimmy's new tail had reached Mr. Mink's ears.

    CROW: And once Mr Mink found his ears boy was Jimmy going to be in trouble.

    And as soon as
    he heard it he had inquired where Jimmy Rabbit lived.

    TOM: [ As Mr Mink ] 'Again, next-door neighbor!'


    Mr. Crow had told him.

    TOM: Fink.
    CROW: Am not!

    And he took another look at
    Mr. Mink.

    CROW: [ As Mr Mink ] You like what you see?
    TOM: [ As Mr Mink ] You know, my spine goes all the way down.
    JOEL: What?


    "I notice you've lost your tail," he said.

    CROW: [ Tutting ] Gambling.


    "Yes!" Mr. Mink answered. "Farmer Green threw an axe
    at me once.

    TOM: Oh no! Farmer Green's a *hipster*?

    And it cut off my tail, as you see.

    CROW: The *heck*?
    JOEL: Arthur Scott Bailey turned *dark* for this one!
    I left that
    neighborhood then; and never cared to return to it.

    TOM: Yeah, I don't blame you there.

    But if
    this young Rabbit boy has found my tail, I shall certainly
    claim it at once."

    JOEL: Now wait a minute, this could be *any* brutally severed mink tail Jimmy's got.
    TOM: Do we know it's not the Fantastic Mister Fox's tail?

    So off he went. And Mr. Crow nodded his
    head wisely.

    CROW: Well of *course*. [ He nods ]

    It was just as he had said! There was trouble
    ahead for Jimmy Rabbit

    TOM: Yeah, good going stirring up the Drama, Crow.

    --or, you might say, there was trouble
    _behind_ for him;

    JOEL: *Might* you?
    CROW: Well, *you* might.

    for it was that handsome red tail, you
    remember, that was the cause of it all.

    ALL: Ooooooooh.
    TOM: Now I get it.

    CROW: It's 1916, so I guess you can listen to a 78 for ninety seconds and then agree the Zimmerman Telegram looks like mischief.

    when all at once somebody else decided it
    for him. For all at once a slim, red gentleman rushed at
    Jimmy, crying, "Give me my tail! I want my tail!"

    JOEL: And I want my two dollars too!


    It was Mr. Mink! And Jimmy Rabbit ran off as fast as
    he could go.

    TOM: [ Crying out, warning ] Tree!
    CROW: Bam!


    "This is my tail!" he called over his shoulder.

    JOEL: There are many like it but this one is mine!

    "I
    found it. And I'm not going to give it up to anybody."

    TOM: To any *body*, get it?
    JOEL: ... No?


    But Mr. Mink hurried after Jimmy.

    CROW: Fair.

    To be sure, Jimmy
    left him far behind. But Mr. Mink kept following.

    JOEL: Oh, it's not to be fair, it's to be sure.

    It was very
    annoying, for Jimmy knew that sooner or later that
    troublesome gentleman would be on his heels again.

    TOM: Arthur, why not say he was going to be on his _tail_ again?


    There was no use of Jimmy's crawling into any hole,

    CROW: Does it have to be useful? Can't you just crawl into any hole for the artistry of it?

    for he was four times as big as Mr. Mink; and, of course,
    anywhere he went, Mr. Mink could easily follow.

    TOM: Have you considered just stepping on Mr Mink?


    Jimmy Rabbit didn't know what to do. Mr. Mink had
    terribly sharp teeth. And he was very angry.

    CROW: Maybe you could be the bigger person, Jimmy?
    JOEL: [ As Jimmy ] 'I *am*! I'm four times his size!'

    But Jimmy was
    not angry at all. _He_ didn't want to fight.

    CROW: He *is* the bigger person.


    While he was trying to think of some way out of his
    trouble, something suddenly pulled him backward.

    TOM: Oh no! Frith picked an *awful* time to talk!

    Looking
    around, he saw Mr. Mink with his cruel teeth fastened in that
    beautiful red tail.

    JOEL: Hey, stop biting yourself!


    "Let go of me!" Jimmy Rabbit cried.

    TOM: [ As Mr Mink ] 'Ah, just pulling your tail, kiddo.'
    CROW: Pull the other one, it's got bells on.


    But Mr. Mink didn't say a word. In order to speak, he
    would have had to drop that precious tail.

    JOEL: You gotta have your priorities straight, yeah.

    And he had no idea
    of doing that. Besides, there was nothing he wanted to say.

    CROW: I don't know, I'd ask to see what my tail looks like from behind.

    There was no use of his calling, "Stop, thief!" when he had
    already stopped him, you know.

    TOM: Maybe a quick J'accuse, tough?


    Jimmy Rabbit pulled with all his might. And Mr. Mink
    dug his four feet into the ground and pulled with all of
    _his_.

    CROW: You know this is what it was like when tug-of-war was in the Olympics.


    And then, the first thing Jimmy knew, he fell
    forward, head over heels.

    TOM: Head over heels is ... standing.

    He was up in a jiffy, and off like
    a flash, running like the wind.

    CROW: And threw open the sash.


    But this time Mr. Mink did not follow.

    JOEL: Can you try repeating it in different words for him?


    When at last Jimmy sat down to rest he discovered why
    it was that Mr. Mink had stopped chasing him.

    TOM: Mr Mink saw this cat who'd accidentally got painted and ...

    His beautiful,
    new, red tail was gone! The bit of string had broken under
    all that pulling.

    CROW: Nooo! That was Mister Sparrow's string!

    And now Jimmy Rabbit had no tail except his
    own.

    JOEL: Really, can anyone have any tail except their own?


    "Where's your fine, bushy tail?" Mr. Crow asked Jimmy
    the next morning.

    CROW: Heh heh heh ... I'm setting him up for *such * a stinger.


    "Oh! I discovered who the owner of it was," Jimmy
    said. "He came for his property; and I let him have it."

    JOEL: [ As Jimmy ] I don't mean in the punching way! I mean in the nice way.


    But Mr. Crow was a wise old chap.

    CROW: [ Coughing, to draw attention to himself ]


    "Did you give him the string, too?" he inquired.

    CROW: [ Exaggeratedly ] HAHA HAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA! HA Ha ha ha ... ha ha ... ha ... ha ...

    [ A pause ]

    CROW: Did you two not get it?



    TOM: Maybe draw us a picture, Crow.

    [Illustration]

    TOM: Thanks.


    A great MiSTing! Made my weekend at least :^)
    --
    June Of Daventry<-|
    https://tilde.club/~junetunes <-|

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