• MiSTing: Over Night Meds [1/1]

    From JMShearer@21:1/5 to All on Thu Mar 19 09:56:53 2020
    TITLE: Over Night Medication
    MiSTing AUTHOR: Jesse Shearer
    ERA: None/Nonstandard
    CATEGORY: Ad Spam

    [Insert Bandwidth Waster theme here]

    [JESSE works on some email on his laptop on the snack counter. The RENAMON from “Outrageous Claims” enters.]

    RENAMON: Hey, how come there’s nothing on your sign out there?
    JESSE:[looking up] I have nothing to show right now.
    RENAMON: Absolutely nothing?
    JESSE: Well, there *is* a “buried title” email spam in the projector, but it’s so short, I’d rather not run it on its own.
    RENAMON: I insist.
    JESSE: In that case, I suppose I can spare three minutes.

    [Both enter theater; seating is similar to that in “Claims.”]

    Subject: idle noose

    JESSE: Must be a slow day for hangings.
    RENAMON: Oh, starting off with a little gallows humor, I see.

    Over Night Medication

    RENAMON: What over night medication?
    JESSE: Good question.

    tanekaha supplicate

    JESSE: Isn’t that a Dragonball attack style?
    RENAMON: No, you’re thinking of kamehameha.

    Date: Fri, 09 Apr 2004 13:39:18 +0500

    ageless andorran

    JESSE: Shran? What’s he doing here?
    RENAMON: Trekkie.

    satyric serotonin tinted admass

    RENAMON: That’s just wrong, even for random words.
    JESSE: I would tend to agree.

    tenthly resultant epizoic debar carbolated soleil tantalize harken ,

    FDA approved druugs

    JESSE: Well, at least it makes more sense than just the random words.
    RENAMON: True, but what are “druugs”?

    No prior prescriiption required on hundreds of drugs saave up to 70%

    New products: valium,

    RENAMON: For them, maybe.


    JESSE: Proof that spam filters are like children. Spell a word out and they can’t figure out what it is.

    diazepam (gen va1ium), levitra, alprazolam
    (gen xanax), soma (carisoprodol), fioricet (gen)

    Categores meds that we have (which saave you up to 70% OFF):
    muscle relaxants, sleeping aids, pain relief, woman health, mens >health, sexual health, quit smoking,

    RENAMON: Or better yet, don’t start.

    allergies, skin care, anti depressants & much more categorized meds

    JESSE: Think they have anything for bad spelling and grammar?

    Cheaap 0ffeer:
    30 Va1ium [anti depressants] 5mg - $ Best Priice
    30 Xa-n-ax [anti depressants] 1mg - $ Best Priice

    JESSE: And that would be what, exactly?
    RENAMON: Time in jail, most likely.

    3 Cia1is [mens health] 20mg - $127

    JESSE: Let’s not go there.
    RENAMON: Not a problem.

    30 Phentermine [weight--loss]> 15mg - $99

    JESSE: That stuff’s still FDA approved? I thought it was dangerous.

    60 Soma [muscle relaxants] 350mg - $99
    30 Fioricet [pain relief] 40mg - $109
    30 Cyclobenzaprine [pain relief] 10mg - $109
    5 Via agra

    RENAMON: By way of farms? Isn’t that worse than the Phentermine?
    JESSE: From what they’ve been saying on the news lately, it is.

    [sexuual health] 100mg - $139

    RENAMON: Just because the ad goes there...
    JESSE: What makes you think I’ve got something to say about it?

    Special offeer for limiteed time only

    JESSE: Which is over now.

    Saave up to 70% now

    RENAMON: No thanks.

    Clickk heree to saave 70%+

    JESSE: Nonexistant link.

    consumed mary pennant masterly

    RENAMON: Leaving the random words behind.
    JESSE: Let’s just go.

    [Both exit theater]

    [Lobby, by snack counter]

    JESSE: So…
    RENAMON: Yeah.
    JESSE: Anyway, thanks for dropping by. My doors are usually open. Feel free to come back later. I’ve got an actual feature on the way. For real, this time.
    RENAMON: Thanks. I’ll remember that.

    [[Credits. Music: “Harvey the Wonder Hamster” by Weird Al]]

    Special offeer for limiteed time only

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