• MiSTing: Franchise Opportunities [1/1]

    From JMShearer@21:1/5 to then wait several months to on Sun Mar 8 00:00:42 2020
    MiSTing: Franchise Opportunities
    ERA: Nonstandard/none: J. Michael Shearer's Theater one-off
    Category: ad/spam
    Original Author: unknown
    MiSTing Author: Jesse Shearer

    Opening Scene

    The scene opens on the head and shoulders of a heavyset middle aged man with glasses and a somewhat gray beard, as seen from a webcam, presumably mounted atop a computer monitor. The shelves behind the man is cluttered with various books, VHS tapes, and
    other random items, including a glass-brick clock. This man is me, JESSE, trying to come back to the Mystery Science Theater fan fiction scene.

    JESSE: Hey, folks, it's your good buddy JMShearer. Since I'm done with YouTube videos for I don't know how long and am going back to mostly writing again, I figure I may as well get started with a MiSTing of something from my Funny Spam folder. Here's
    one I got back in August of last year. It's amusing for quite a few reasons. Let's have a look, shall we?

    [scene shifts to JESSE silhouetted at the bottom of the screen, in the center]

    From: Debra Weiss <debra@ franresearch.com>

    JESSE: Redacted.

    Sent: Tuesday, August 13, 2019, 06:46:03 PM CDT
    Subject: Franchise Opportunities

    JESSE: No thanks!

    Hello Jesse,

    JESSE: [Peter Gabriel, Big Time] Hi there!

    I wanted to reach out and discuss a possible
    alternative to the traditional corporate grind.

    JESSE: OK, I like trying new kinds of coffee.

    Our firm works closely with individuals who
    are open to exploring entrepreneurship, giving
    them a chance to build equity in a business of
    their own.

    JESSE: And you think that's me why, exactly?

    Specifically, a franchise business with a support
    system and proven business model.

    JESSE: What kind of franchise business?

    Many individuals have even kept their current
    jobs while building a business of their own through
    semi-absentee models. 

    JESSE: Good for them, I guess.

    With over 25 years of experience, we've helped people
    explore business ownership through the
    franchise model.

    JESSE: Ah, 25 years XP right from the start, huh?

    With our guidance and research assistance, we can show
    you top franchise companies that would be the best fit for
    your past experiences.

    JESSE: And allow us to empty your bank account the quickest.

    For more information, please visit www.franresearch.com and
    complete the "Contact" page for additional information.

    JESSE: I'll pass, thanks.

     If you have any questions, please let me know your availability
    for a 5 minute phone conversation.

    JESSE: Plenty of questions, no time for a call in this case, sorry.

    Debra Weiss

    JESSE: Thanks, Deb!

    Recruitment Specialist

    JESSE: Love the fancy title.

    P.S. I understand if the timing is not right.

    JESSE: Uh huh.

    Please reply with "REMOVE" in the subject and I will remove
    your information promptly.

    JESSE: What if I save this message as a word processor file, delete
    it from my spam folder, then wait several months to write a
    MiSTing, instead?

    402 West Broadway Suite 400, San Diego, CA 92101

    JESSE: Did I miss something, or does this company not have a name?

    [scene shifts back to opening]

    JESSE: Fun stuff, that. Before too long, I'm hoping to get back to more stuff like my classic works, which I've tried to reboot a few times over the years, most notably here, here, and here. The attempt to reboot you're looking at now was inspired by
    finding some ancient fodder on an old laptop while I was on vacation last fall. I'm not going to commit to anything just yet, but I might actually get somewhere with all this this time. As for possible posting locations, right now, I'm thinking my blog,
    the one MST newsgroup I'm still in, and possibly the Misting Canon site. We'll see how it all plays out, of course. As always, more to come

    End Credits theme: MegaMan RoboVOICE by Joe Redifer


    DeviantArt: hosting my art and some writing
    Peter Gabriel: Big Time song
    Joel Hogson and Best Brains: Mystery Science Theater 3000
    Blogger: itself
    MST Canon site

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