• Wotnot the Nitwit relives Groundhog Day

    From A.T. Murray@21:1/5 to All on Thu Feb 2 22:23:38 2023
    Wotnot the Nitwit was wishing that he could live this Groundhog Day over again, like in the movie starring Andie MacDowell -- when suddenly his wish was granted. But it was not like seeing Andie MacDowell again in the "Green Card" movie, it was more like
    "Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine," Humphrey. Because the AMEЯICAN sleeper agent Genuflexa, whom some foreign power or No Such Agency had deployed to outwit the nitwit, came back to inflict the coup de grace
    upon his hapless helplessness.

    They first sent Genuflexa (GF) to entrap and ensnare Wotnot as their back-up agent in their two-agent pincer-movement suddenly last summer. Plan A was for the daughter of Santa Claus to bimboozle Wotnot with her stunning alacrity, but the dimwit Wotnot
    erred on the side of Zugzwang, so they had to repatriate Clausula and pull a Reacher for Genuflexa as Plan B.

    Genuflexa set the first snare by merely smiling at Wotnot, who was pleased but not smitten. To obey the demand of HQ for ROI, GF waited a week or two and then said "HI" to WN avec un certain sourir as orchestrated by the First Directorate. Then they
    reeled him in, watching over satellite TV as Wotnot wandered in the appropriate daze. The AMEЯICAN zaznoba made herself more available than usual to his imbecility, who took the bait and fell right into the textbook-case trap, so that a massive re-write
    of all the Spy School curricula was undertaken under the Rube-(T)rick of "This is how you trap the untrappable." Wotnot approached the suddenly approachable Mata Hari under the flimsy pretext of needing advice on what to serve at some woman's birthday
    dinner. "Real men don't eat quiche," he said, "but women like quiche -- DON'T they?" Quiche was not Genuflexa's cup of tea, and she made a counter-suggestion: "Key lime pie" -- which was not only a favorite of hers but also of Wotnot. So Wotnot reported
    Genuflexa's excellent idea to the new mysterious stranger in his life, who was sharing such gems as, "I can't drive because I hallucinate."

    On the first day of February a feverish Wotnot thought of Genuflexa only once -- all day long. On Groundhog Day GF suddenly showed up again, looking radiantly beautiful. To his Nitwitship reading about Norman Mailer in The New Yorker, on her way out
    Genuflexa said "Good morning" through her
    proven-results smile. Wotnot sat there wishing that the movie "Groundhog Day" would come true for him and he might relive the brief GF moment. Meanwhile Genuflexa reported to HQ and was told to go back and re-initiate the contact. As if she were a song
    by Sonny Bono, Genuflexa returned to the scene of the sub-prime in full confidence that Damenta Phrenas Himero would do whatever it takes to please her superiors back at the Firm.

    Wotnot surveyed the clutter before him and picked up some objet-de-naught as an excuse to walk over to Genuflexa. "Did they give you the wrong drink?" he improvised. "I spilled my drink," she explained as directed by the First Directorate. Then they
    exchanged life-stories while an auditorium full of wannabe espiocrats listened in eight thousand miles away on speaker phone. Field agent Genuflexa entertained visions of a promotion and a performance bonus. Day dreamer Wotnot, suffering not from Long
    Covid but from Long Cupid, fell deeper into the Rabbit Hole.


    --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
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