XPost: or.politics, ca.politics, alt.fan.rush-limbaugh

<http://babylonbee.com>
CNN Uncovers Evidence Hero Dog Sniffed Dozens Of Butts Back In College

U.S. - Everyone praised the classified "Hero Dog" for taking down ISIS
leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi.

Everyone, that is, except CNN, who quickly searched through the dog's
Internet history and college yearbooks. Sure enough, CNN found a picture
of the Hero Dog partying at obedience school. In the picture, the dog is
seen sniffing a butt without consent.

"Oh yeah, good old [redacted]? He was nuts!" said one German Shepherd who attended Old Yaler Obedience School with the hero dog, according to a CNN report. "He was always sniffing any butt he could find. Cats, dogs,
humans, you name it. He didn't have a preference. He identified as pansniffual."

Troubling reports from classmates indicate that the dog sniffed all these
butts without consent. The dog wrote cryptic things in his college
yearbook, apparently referring to different butt-sniffing maneuvers such
as the Surprise Sniffarooski and the Canine's Triangle.

The dog has issued a statement: "I like butts. I've always liked butts. I
still like butts, but I never sniff butts to the point of excess. Who's a
good boy? I am."

Democrats immediately called for the dog to be court-martialed and for the death of Baghdadi to be overturned.
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