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Biden Recounts Time He Parted The Red Sea To Escape Slavery In Mexico

WASHINGTON, D.C. — During a press conference conducted to prove he is
still mentally fit to lead the country, President Joe Biden recounted the
time he parted the Red Sea to escape slavery in Mexico.

The president spoke to a gathering of reporters to assuage growing fears
that he is no longer competent to serve, telling everyone that he is just
as fit to lead today as he was the day he led a large multitude through
the Red Sea on dry land to leave the oppression of the Mexican king.

"Here's the deal," Biden shouted aggressively. "All this talk about my
fitness to serve as president is malarkey. My memory is sharp as a tack,
folks. I can remember clear as day how it felt to stand in front of the…
stand up there… stand in front… in front of the… the guy… the king of
Mexico… and tell him ‘Listen up, Jack. Let all these people go, or so help
me, I'll… I'll… anyway…"

Reporters present at the press conference sat in bewildered silence as the president continued his story. "All that stood between us and freedom was
the Red Sea, down there at the Mexican border," he said. "I raised my
staff, the waters parted, and we went through on dry ground. That's
leadership, folks."

At publishing time, Biden adamantly expressed to the media that he was
just as fit to lead the United States as George Washington and John
Kennedy are today.

Babylon Bee subscriber Israel Iron Dome contributed to this report. If you
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By now the whole Internet has heard Ben Shapiro rapping, but did you know
that there are actually two more verses they cut out of the track?

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Anyone that isn't confused doesn't really
understand the situation.
~Edward R. Murrow USA WWII Correspondent ==================================================

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