On Friday, May 7, 2021 at 2:47:55 PM UTC-4, Bud wrote:

Take Gil Jesus, a regular poster here, for instance. Gil comes from
poor peasant stock, and when Gil was a young beaner, his family owned
a burro that worked the fields that provided his family with sustenance. One day an unnamed stranger appeared (Tom Lowry), and offered Gil some
magic beans in exchange for the burro. This sounded like a sweet deal
to young Gil, and he hastily agreed. But when he showed his family the payment he received for the burro, instead of the gratitude he
expected, they shouted "thems tic-tacs" and threw stones at him.
Undaunted, Gil planted the "seeds", and every day he watered them,
even sang Mexican folk songs over them, but other than the ground
smelling slightly minty, nothing much happened. Occasionally the
unnamed stranger (Tom Lowry) would ride past, and he and the burro
would laugh at Gil`s sorry state, and that of his slowly starving
family. After a long time, Gil tired of the ridicule, and decided on a
new start in America. Unfortunately, being stupid, he headed south
instead of north, and wandered down to Chile, where he found work as a tarantula wrangler on a banana plantation. One day as he siesta on a
pile of bananas he was inadvertently loaded on a boat to America with
the crop. He awoke disoriented inside a Piggy Wiggly in Dallas, and
when he staggered up to the checkout counter and saw all the shiny containers of tic-tacs, he exclaimed "Magic beans in abundance, I must
be in heaven!". Unfortunately he was in Texas, a state with vagrancy
laws. Fleeing the authorities, he came to a place with an "x" on the
ground. Excited, he thought "There must be treasure buried there", and proceeded to claw at the asphalt until a passerby stopped and said to
him "Theres no treasure there, idiot, that is where out President was
shot by that skunk Lee Harvey Oswald from that building right over
there". Gil looked at the building, and the "x", and something didn`t
make sense to him. "Why would he shoot from there when this hill is a
much nicer place to shoot from?" he asked. Exasperated, the passerby
said "You know what, I lied, there is treasure there, keep digging".

This is the same asshole who expects people to take him seriously.

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