• Suspicious Law Firms

    From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to All on Wed Aug 19 00:05:53 2020
    Lye, Cheetham, and Steele: Attorneys at Law

    With associates of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe.

    Don't forget they also have a whole complement of other staff...

    Document Destruction Specialists ........ Douse and Burnham
    Accounts Payable Administrator........... Imelda Czechs
    Accounts Payable Clerk, Moscow Office ... Dasha Checkhov
    Accounts Receivable Clerk, Mumbai........ Vishnu Payup
    Airline Seat Tester ..................... Wilma Butfit
    Alaskan Prenuptial Advisor .............. Rush Inuit
    Alignment Inspector ..................... Lou Sequsi
    Alternative Fuel Consultant ............. Amanda Livering Cole
    Anger Management Coach .................. Kristen Hollerd
    Anger Management Consultant ............. Joanne Slowburner
    Animal Control Officer .................. Turner Luce
    Appalacian Chef ......................... Everett Possum
    Appeals Specialist ...................... Bud Uronner
    Appetizer Coordinator ................... Barabara Ganush
    Appointment Secretary ................... Stu Earley
    Appointment Secretary II ................ Amadeus O. Early
    Arbitration Expert ...................... Viola Fuss
    Asphault Contractor ..................... Luciano Pavearoadi
    Assertiveness Coach ..................... Lois steem
    Asst. Customer Care Email Coordinator ... Kurt Reply
    Asst. Director of Female Moral Suppt .... Hugo Gurll
    Asst. Ground Transportation Coordinator . Lisa Carr
    Back Seat driver ........................ Mischa Turnov
    Bad Joke Interpreter .................... Nadia Geddit
    Biblical Scholar ........................ Vera Lee Isay
    Bob Dylan Scholar ....................... I. Shelby Relesed
    Bolt Tightener .......................... Tilda Plierslip
    Brethalyzer Administrator ............... Eureka Garlic
    British Doorman ......................... Isaiah Olchap
    Brother in the Military ................. Major Payne-Diaz
    Russian Chauffeur ................. Pikup Andropov
    Automobile Brake Technician ....... Schlomo Quigley
    Bunji Jumping Instructor .......... Hugo First
    Broadcast Program Director ........ Philip Airtime
    Cabinet Maker ..................... L. Ron Cupborad
    Coffee Additicion Therapist ....... Bruno Moore
    Car Stereo INstaller .............. Carlos Antenna
    Bar Bouncer ....................... Euripides Ibreakyaface
    Ice Rink Manager .................. Sam Boney
    Lubrication Specialist ............ Alan Greasepan
    Math Consultant ................... Horatio Algebra
    Phsyics Consultant ................ Victor Analyss
    Unemployment Specialist............ Art Majors
    Chief Tire Repair Technician....... Yessir Itsaflat
    Plus Size Clothing Designer ....... Hugh Jass
    High School Graduation Speaker .... Gladys Overwith
    Presidential Correspondant ........ George Stayontopothis
    Conductor of Orchestra............. Phillip Harmmonic
    Complain Line Operator ............ Savyer Breth
    Copyright Attorney ................ Pat Pending
    Chief Defense Attorney ............ Justin Volk the 5th
    Russian Chauffeur ................. Pikup Andropov
    Automobile Brake Technician ....... Schlomo Quigley
    Bunji Jumping Instructor .......... Hugo First
    Broadcast Program Director ........ Philip Airtime
    Cabinet Maker ..................... L. Ron Cupborad
    Coffee Additicion Therapist ....... Bruno Moore
    Car Stereo INstaller .............. Carlos Antenna
    Bar Bouncer ....................... Euripides Ibreakyaface
    Ice Rink Manager .................. Sam Boney
    Lubrication Specialist ............ Alan Greasepan
    Math Consultant ................... Horatio Algebra
    Phsyics Consultant ................ Victor Analyss
    Unemployment Specialist............ Art Majors
    Chief Tire Repair Technician....... Yessir Itsaflat
    Plus Size Clothing Designer ....... Hugh Jass
    High School Graduation Speaker .... Gladys Overwith
    Presidential Correspondant ........ George Stayontopothis
    Conductor of Orchestra............. Phillip Harmmonic
    Complain Line Operator ............ Savyer Breth
    Copyright Attorney ................ Pat Pending
    Chief Defense Attorney ............ Justin Volk the 5th
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From Ron Lauzon@1:275/89 to Daryl Stout on Thu Aug 20 11:42:00 2020
    Daryl Stout wrote to All <=-

    Lye, Cheetham, and Steele: Attorneys at Law

    With associates of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe.

    It's a little known fact that some of the people in these law firms got together to write a book.

    It's called "Race to the Outhouse" by Willie Makit. Illustrated by Betty Wont.
    Edited by Doris Locked.


    ... "DOS=HIGH" Hmm, I knew it was on something...
    --- MultiMail/Linux v0.52
    * Origin: Diamond Mine Online BBS bbs.dmine.net:24 (1:275/89)
  • From Mike Powell@1:2320/105 to RON LAUZON on Fri Aug 21 19:37:00 2020
    It's called "Race to the Outhouse" by Willie Makit. Illustrated by Betty Wont.
    Edited by Doris Locked.

    :D

    Mike


    * SLMR 2.1a * Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers.
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Linux
    * Origin: capitolcityonline.net * Telnet/SSH:2022/HTTP (1:2320/105)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to Ron Lauzon on Fri Aug 21 08:06:00 2020
    Ron,

    Lye, Cheetham, and Steele: Attorneys at Law

    With associates of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe.

    It's a little known fact that some of the people in these law firms got together to write a book.

    It's called "Race to the Outhouse" by Willie Makit. Illustrated by
    Betty Wont. Edited by Doris Locked.

    It's on the bust smeller list. <G>

    Daryl

    ... I multi-task -- I read in the bathroom.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to Mike Powell on Sun Aug 23 11:03:00 2020
    Mike,

    It's called "Race to the Outhouse" by Willie Makit. Illustrated by Betty Wont.

    Edited by Doris Locked.

    :D

    Been there, done that. :P

    * SLMR 2.1a * Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers.

    Why would they have vodka and orange juice in their pockets?? :P

    I remember a joke from the Russian comedian, Yakov Smirnoff. He
    emigrated to the United States, and became a naturalized citizen.
    He was doing a G-rated show in Branson, Missouri, and it was a riot.
    A couple of his deals included:

    1) Upon being given trouble by a customer at a bar that wanted a
    screwdriver (vodka and orange juice), he added milk of magnesia to
    it...so you had a Phillips Screwdriver.

    2) The sign in the bathroom "Baby Changing Table"...he asks "you
    get to change the baby for something else??".

    After both (while the audience is roaring in laughter), he says
    "I'll bet you never looked at it that way!!" <BG>.

    Daryl

    ... Hindsight being 20/20 does not mean looking at butts!!
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From Mike Powell@1:2320/105 to DARYL STOUT on Tue Aug 25 18:32:00 2020
    1) Upon being given trouble by a customer at a bar that wanted a
    screwdriver (vodka and orange juice), he added milk of magnesia to
    it...so you had a Phillips Screwdriver.

    There is one I'd not thought of ordering. :)

    Mike


    * SLMR 2.1a * Climbing my family tree was fun, until the nuts appeared.
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Linux
    * Origin: capitolcityonline.net * Telnet/SSH:2022/HTTP (1:2320/105)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to Mike Powell on Fri Aug 28 22:29:00 2020
    Mike,

    1) Upon being given trouble by a customer at a bar that wanted a
    screwdriver (vodka and orange juice), he added milk of magnesia to
    it...so you had a Phillips Screwdriver.

    There is one I'd not thought of ordering. :)

    As Yakoff Smirnoff noted "I'll bet you never look at it that way". <G>
    Before my wife died 13 1/2 years ago, we watched a video from one of
    his shows in Branson, and it was absolutely hilarious.

    Daryl

    ... Thecontentsofthistaglinemayhavesettledduringshippingandhandling.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to All on Thu Apr 22 00:04:21 2021
    Lye, Cheetham, and Steele: Attorneys at Law

    With associates of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe.

    Don't forget they also have a whole complement of other staff...

    Document Destruction Specialists ........ Douse and Burnham
    Accounts Payable Administrator........... Imelda Czechs
    Accounts Payable Clerk, Moscow Office ... Dasha Checkhov
    Accounts Receivable Clerk, Mumbai........ Vishnu Payup
    Airline Seat Tester ..................... Wilma Butfit
    Alaskan Prenuptial Advisor .............. Rush Inuit
    Alignment Inspector ..................... Lou Sequsi
    Alternative Fuel Consultant ............. Amanda Livering Cole
    Anger Management Coach .................. Kristen Hollerd
    Anger Management Consultant ............. Joanne Slowburner
    Animal Control Officer .................. Turner Luce
    Appalacian Chef ......................... Everett Possum
    Appeals Specialist ...................... Bud Uronner
    Appetizer Coordinator ................... Barabara Ganush
    Appointment Secretary ................... Stu Earley
    Appointment Secretary II ................ Amadeus O. Early
    Arbitration Expert ...................... Viola Fuss
    Asphault Contractor ..................... Luciano Pavearoadi
    Assertiveness Coach ..................... Lois steem
    Asst. Customer Care Email Coordinator ... Kurt Reply
    Asst. Director of Female Moral Suppt .... Hugo Gurll
    Asst. Ground Transportation Coordinator . Lisa Carr
    Back Seat driver ........................ Mischa Turnov
    Bad Joke Interpreter .................... Nadia Geddit
    Biblical Scholar ........................ Vera Lee Isay
    Bob Dylan Scholar ....................... I. Shelby Relesed
    Bolt Tightener .......................... Tilda Plierslip
    Brethalyzer Administrator ............... Eureka Garlic
    British Doorman ......................... Isaiah Olchap
    Brother in the Military ................. Major Payne-Diaz
    Russian Chauffeur ................. Pikup Andropov
    Automobile Brake Technician ....... Schlomo Quigley
    Bunji Jumping Instructor .......... Hugo First
    Broadcast Program Director ........ Philip Airtime
    Cabinet Maker ..................... L. Ron Cupborad
    Coffee Additicion Therapist ....... Bruno Moore
    Car Stereo INstaller .............. Carlos Antenna
    Bar Bouncer ....................... Euripides Ibreakyaface
    Ice Rink Manager .................. Sam Boney
    Lubrication Specialist ............ Alan Greasepan
    Math Consultant ................... Horatio Algebra
    Phsyics Consultant ................ Victor Analyss
    Unemployment Specialist............ Art Majors
    Chief Tire Repair Technician....... Yessir Itsaflat
    Plus Size Clothing Designer ....... Hugh Jass
    High School Graduation Speaker .... Gladys Overwith
    Presidential Correspondant ........ George Stayontopothis
    Conductor of Orchestra............. Phillip Harmmonic
    Complain Line Operator ............ Savyer Breth
    Copyright Attorney ................ Pat Pending
    Chief Defense Attorney ............ Justin Volk the 5th
    Russian Chauffeur ................. Pikup Andropov
    Automobile Brake Technician ....... Schlomo Quigley
    Bunji Jumping Instructor .......... Hugo First
    Broadcast Program Director ........ Philip Airtime
    Cabinet Maker ..................... L. Ron Cupborad
    Coffee Additicion Therapist ....... Bruno Moore
    Car Stereo INstaller .............. Carlos Antenna
    Bar Bouncer ....................... Euripides Ibreakyaface
    Ice Rink Manager .................. Sam Boney
    Lubrication Specialist ............ Alan Greasepan
    Math Consultant ................... Horatio Algebra
    Phsyics Consultant ................ Victor Analyss
    Unemployment Specialist............ Art Majors
    Chief Tire Repair Technician....... Yessir Itsaflat
    Plus Size Clothing Designer ....... Hugh Jass
    High School Graduation Speaker .... Gladys Overwith
    Presidential Correspondant ........ George Stayontopothis
    Conductor of Orchestra............. Phillip Harmmonic
    Complain Line Operator ............ Savyer Breth
    Copyright Attorney ................ Pat Pending
    Chief Defense Attorney ............ Justin Volk the 5th
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Thu Apr 29 10:47:42 2021
    Lye, Cheetham, and Steele: Attorneys at Law

    With associates of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe.

    Don't forget they also have a whole complement of other staff...
    [ excellent list deleted for brevityy in reply]

    You missed their divorce law department:
    Ditcher, Quick, & Hyde

    & their companionship procurement gents at:
    Screwem, Goode, & Hart

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Sat May 1 19:47:00 2021
    George,

    Lye, Cheetham, and Steele: Attorneys at Law

    With associates of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe.

    Don't forget they also have a whole complement of other staff...
    [ excellent list deleted for brevityy in reply]

    You missed their divorce law department:
    Ditcher, Quick, & Hyde

    & their companionship procurement gents at:
    Screwem, Goode, & Hart

    I doubt that they have an A+ mark from the Better Business Bureau. :P

    Daryl

    ... To err is human, to do nothing, benign.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Tue May 4 10:36:28 2021
    George,

    Lye, Cheetham, and Steele: Attorneys at Law

    With associates of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe.

    Don't forget they also have a whole complement of other staff...
    [ excellent list deleted for brevityy in reply]

    You missed their divorce law department:
    Ditcher, Quick, & Hyde

    & their companionship procurement gents at:
    Screwem, Goode, & Hart

    I doubt that they have an A+ mark from the Better Business Bureau. :P

    Oh, but they do -- they sued the BBB over their original low rating!

    My 5-year-old niece is a little shit.
    We were celebrating my other niece's 2nd birthday, when my 5-year-old niece comes up to me and says, "Hey Uncle, wanna play a game?"

    "Sure. What game?"

    "You pick a letter and I say three words that start with that letter."

    Since it was her sister's birthday, I picked "B", assuming that she’ll
    probably say "Birthday".

    She was like, "Okay… B... B... BB..."

    I sat there for a second in a moment of defeat...

    "Yes. Those are all words."

    You little shit.
    [Be, Bee, & BB]

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Tue May 4 22:12:00 2021
    George,

    I doubt that they have an A+ mark from the Better Business Bureau. :P

    Oh, but they do -- they sued the BBB over their original low rating!

    They likely bought the lawyers and judges out.

    My 5-year-old niece is a little shit.
    We were celebrating my other niece's 2nd birthday, when my 5-year-old niece comes up to me and says, "Hey Uncle, wanna play a game?"

    "Sure. What game?"

    "You pick a letter and I say three words that start with that letter."

    Since it was her sister's birthday, I picked "B", assuming that she’ll probably say "Birthday".

    She was like, "Okay… B... B... BB..."

    I sat there for a second in a moment of defeat...

    "Yes. Those are all words."

    You little shit.
    [Be, Bee, & BB]

    Or with the B.C. comic strip. This bird is on the back of a turtle, and
    asks "What has 4 legs, a tail, and surrenders??". The turtle says "I give
    up".

    To which, the bird looks at him, and grins like the cheshire cat that just swallowed the canary, and the turtle screams "Oh, for crying out loud!!" <G>

    Daryl

    ... Deja Goo Goo: A feeling you're reliving your infancy.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Sun May 16 10:38:44 2021
    George,

    I doubt that they have an A+ mark from the Better Business Bureau. :P

    Oh, but they do -- they sued the BBB over their original low rating!

    They likely bought the lawyers and judges out.

    Judges seem venal these days, probably bought em off with a copy of Windows
    95 each. . .

    > Or with the B.C. comic strip. This bird is on the back of a turtle, and
    asks "What has 4 legs, a tail, and surrenders??". The turtle says "I give up".

    To which, the bird looks at him, and grins like the cheshire cat that
    just
    swallowed the canary, and the turtle screams "Oh, for crying out loud!!"


    I miss that strip -- good quality stuff. . .

    Q: What do you get when you combine a porcupine and a turtle?
    A: A slowpoke!

    Q: What happens to a turtle after it dies?
    A: It goes into riga-tortoise

    Q: What do you call a turtle in a chef’s hat?
    A: A slow cooker.

    Customer: Do you have any books on turtles?
    Store owner: Hard cover?
    Customer: Yes, with little heads

    Q: What kind of house do ninja turtles live in when they go on vacation from living in the sewers and fighting crime?
    A: A cowabungalow

    I haven’t been able find my pet turtle for the past few months
    Turns out he’s just been sheltering in place.

    Q: Why did the turtle go to T-mobile?
    A: Because he couldn't sprint

    Ok, on that note. . .

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to All on Thu Jul 22 00:05:12 2021
    Lye, Cheetham, and Steele: Attorneys at Law

    With associates of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe.

    Don't forget they also have a whole complement of other staff...

    Document Destruction Specialists ........ Douse and Burnham
    Accounts Payable Administrator........... Imelda Czechs
    Accounts Payable Clerk, Moscow Office ... Dasha Checkhov
    Accounts Receivable Clerk, Mumbai........ Vishnu Payup
    Airline Seat Tester ..................... Wilma Butfit
    Alaskan Prenuptial Advisor .............. Rush Inuit
    Alignment Inspector ..................... Lou Sequsi
    Alternative Fuel Consultant ............. Amanda Livering Cole
    Anger Management Coach .................. Kristen Hollerd
    Anger Management Consultant ............. Joanne Slowburner
    Animal Control Officer .................. Turner Luce
    Appalacian Chef ......................... Everett Possum
    Appeals Specialist ...................... Bud Uronner
    Appetizer Coordinator ................... Barabara Ganush
    Appointment Secretary ................... Stu Earley
    Appointment Secretary II ................ Amadeus O. Early
    Arbitration Expert ...................... Viola Fuss
    Asphault Contractor ..................... Luciano Pavearoadi
    Assertiveness Coach ..................... Lois steem
    Asst. Customer Care Email Coordinator ... Kurt Reply
    Asst. Director of Female Moral Suppt .... Hugo Gurll
    Asst. Ground Transportation Coordinator . Lisa Carr
    Back Seat driver ........................ Mischa Turnov
    Bad Joke Interpreter .................... Nadia Geddit
    Biblical Scholar ........................ Vera Lee Isay
    Bob Dylan Scholar ....................... I. Shelby Relesed
    Bolt Tightener .......................... Tilda Plierslip
    Brethalyzer Administrator ............... Eureka Garlic
    British Doorman ......................... Isaiah Olchap
    Brother in the Military ................. Major Payne-Diaz
    Russian Chauffeur ................. Pikup Andropov
    Automobile Brake Technician ....... Schlomo Quigley
    Bunji Jumping Instructor .......... Hugo First
    Broadcast Program Director ........ Philip Airtime
    Cabinet Maker ..................... L. Ron Cupborad
    Coffee Additicion Therapist ....... Bruno Moore
    Car Stereo INstaller .............. Carlos Antenna
    Bar Bouncer ....................... Euripides Ibreakyaface
    Ice Rink Manager .................. Sam Boney
    Lubrication Specialist ............ Alan Greasepan
    Math Consultant ................... Horatio Algebra
    Phsyics Consultant ................ Victor Analyss
    Unemployment Specialist............ Art Majors
    Chief Tire Repair Technician....... Yessir Itsaflat
    Plus Size Clothing Designer ....... Hugh Jass
    High School Graduation Speaker .... Gladys Overwith
    Presidential Correspondant ........ George Stayontopothis
    Conductor of Orchestra............. Phillip Harmmonic
    Complain Line Operator ............ Savyer Breth
    Copyright Attorney ................ Pat Pending
    Chief Defense Attorney ............ Justin Volk the 5th
    Russian Chauffeur ................. Pikup Andropov
    Automobile Brake Technician ....... Schlomo Quigley
    Bunji Jumping Instructor .......... Hugo First
    Broadcast Program Director ........ Philip Airtime
    Cabinet Maker ..................... L. Ron Cupborad
    Coffee Additicion Therapist ....... Bruno Moore
    Car Stereo INstaller .............. Carlos Antenna
    Bar Bouncer ....................... Euripides Ibreakyaface
    Ice Rink Manager .................. Sam Boney
    Lubrication Specialist ............ Alan Greasepan
    Math Consultant ................... Horatio Algebra
    Phsyics Consultant ................ Victor Analyss
    Unemployment Specialist............ Art Majors
    Chief Tire Repair Technician....... Yessir Itsaflat
    Plus Size Clothing Designer ....... Hugh Jass
    High School Graduation Speaker .... Gladys Overwith
    Presidential Correspondant ........ George Stayontopothis
    Conductor of Orchestra............. Phillip Harmmonic
    Complain Line Operator ............ Savyer Breth
    Copyright Attorney ................ Pat Pending
    Chief Defense Attorney ............ Justin Volk the 5th
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)