• Infinite (2021)

    From Arelor@VERT/PALANT to All on Tue Jun 22 04:19:12 2021
    Hello once again! I am here to bring you yet another movie review!

    Today I am going to tell you about Infinite.

    Infinite is an action movie. I suspect it is a movie with self-steem problems, that got bullied and
    abused in school, and thus had the need to demonstrate how great of a movie it is as to stop
    feeling like trash. Why I say this? I say this because it is a film that tries _very hard_.

    It is a film who looks at other action films and tells them "I see your cars explode, but my cars
    explode harder!" Other things I imagine this film saying are "My ninjas are more ninja-esque than
    yours," "I see you are over the top, but I am *over the topper* than you," and "My stunts are
    stunttier than yours."

    If you have watched Wanted and seen the _curve the bullet_ scenes, you have a clear idea of what I
    am talking about.

    Infinite's world is one in which a small set of people, called the Infinites, are bound to
    reincarnate upon death again and again and again, keeping all the memories of their past lives.
    There are two factions of Infinites: one who wants to improve humanity's standing, and work towards
    improving the world for everybody; the other is desperate for being trapped in the reincarnation
    cycle and wants to destroy the world in order to end it.

    If you are looking for an elaborate plot, look elsewhere. Infinite has a plot whose consistency is
    that of Gallium. It looks pretty, but as soon as you touch it it melts and crumbles away.
    Obviously, it is not a problem because by the 5th minute of the movie it is quite clear that the
    only reason why you should be watching it is because you want to see people exploding, guys with
    katanas sliceing through machinegun totting mooks, and the barest ammount of duct tape to hold
    it together.

    This so-called excuse of a plot is as simple as it gets. Mr. Bad Bearded Guy wants to destroy the
    world, and has developped a weapon of mass destruction to do it. One of the Good Guys managed to
    steal it before it could be used, and now both sides are trying to find it before the other side
    does. Essentially, the whole movie is a search-for-the-McGuffin with explossions and swordfighting
    - because everybody knows that, if you were born a Roman two thousand years ago, you will still be
    fighting with a sword in the modern age, ditching firearms. They even lapshaded this in the movie,
    in a part in which Mr. Bad Bearded Guy breaks in firing a crossbow at people. "There are more
    modern ways," they tell him, to which the answer is "Modern does not mean beter."

    Most characters are pretty bland. There are a couple of exceptions, but this is clearly not a movie
    for lovers of character development. The only outstanding exception is Mr. Bad Bearded Guy. He is
    an old Infinite who has grown tired of being born once and again and again, just to see pathetic,
    regular mortals commit the same mistakes during lives so short they mean nothing. He is a highly
    functional psychopath, but when confronted with the nature of his actions, you can see the
    desperation in his eyes, the need to stop reincarnating so he can finally stop suffering.
    His plan is to anhihilate all life on Earth as to ensure there is nothing left to reincarnate into,
    and you can tell it is a drastic plan born from pure despair. Underneath, there is the desire to
    know if there is some sort of mistic plan from God, a purpose for all his pain. It is implied that
    the bad guy _wants_ God to manifest and that his apocaliptic plan is a way to challenge God to show
    himself and prevent the end of all things.

    If that is not a fucking awesome villain, then I know not what it is.

    The movie operates with epic stakes. Infinites of both sides seem to burn through unlimited
    budgets, and rush into battle with assault helicopters, viking axes, futuristic computer controlled
    drones and samurai weapons. The bad guy uses a weapon called the Dethroner, which is a
    science-fiction gigantic sawed-off-like gun which sucks the souls of Infinites and traps them in
    an eternal prison, from which they cannot reincarnate.

    While I think the end does not give proper closure, at least they got the Epic Duel the proper
    treatment, featuring a struggle in which hero and villain fight each other with reckless abbandon,
    knowing their lives are not worth a damn because they are going to be reborn anyway.

    In the end, this movie is like a cheeseburger from a bottom of the barrel junk food chain. It is
    bad for your health. It has no substance, and its taste comes from an overload of crappy chemicals
    that are going to give you cancer. You know it. They know it. Chances are, you are going to eat it
    anyway.

    If you are willing to turn your brain off - Bourbon helps here - then you may be able to swallow
    the whole thing with a smile on your face.

    --
    gopher://gopher.richardfalken.com/1/richardfalken

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  • From Ogg@VERT/CAPCITY2 to Arelor on Wed Jun 23 00:05:00 2021
    Hello Arelor!

    ** On Tuesday 22.06.21 - 04:19, Arelor wrote to All:

    [...]

    In the end, this movie is like a cheeseburger from a bottom
    of the barrel junk food chain. It is bad for your health.
    It has no substance, and its taste comes from an overload
    of crappy chemicals that are going to give you cancer. You
    know it. They know it. Chances are, you are going to eat it
    anyway.

    ROTFL. Movie night at the Falkens (er.. rather the Arelorians)
    sounds like a party!


    If you are willing to turn your brain off - Bourbon helps
    here - then you may be able to swallow the whole thing with
    a smile on your face.

    Ah... and bourbon. Now you're talkin' :D


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